Of course, reality doesn’t often pan out the way you hoped. The Detroit rapper had to stand up and address his failures head-on. Through this journey, he could rediscover his relationship with his mother, and the place she occupies in his life.
What Happened With Eminem's Mom?
Debbie was only 18 years old when she gave birth to Marshall Bruce Mathers III. Eminem’s father, Marshall Bruce Mathers Jr., abandoned them as soon as his son was born, leaving the young mother to raise their child alone.
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The mother-and-son duo faced destitution and eviction at every turn, and moved frequently, in search of financial stability. Debbie was in no position to shoulder the responsibilities of parenthood. However, Eminem's mother worked hard to make ends meet, even if the outcomes weren’t always satisfactory.
Unfortunately, her childcare abilities weren’t up to her son’s liking. As is his modus operandi, Eminem badmouthed Debbie in the charged lyrics to "My Name Is," the opening track of his 1999 album The Slim Shady LP. In the song, he claims his mother did “more dope than” he did: “I told her I'd grow up to be a famous rapper / Make a record about doin' drugs and name it after her.”
Debbie Mathers Sues Eminem Over 'My Name Is' Lyrics
Debbie Mathers Briggs (her current husband, John Briggs, is her fourth) was blindsided by the admission. Shortly after the release of "My Name Is," she sued her son for $11 million, claiming defamation of character. Eminem’s team responded by saying his music only reflected the truth. His lawyer also said the lawsuit was a “result of a lifelong strained relationship between [Eminem] and mother,” and that it was pretty “painful” to be sued by your own mother.
Debbie was awarded a $25,000 settlement in 2001, but $23,354.25 of that went to her attorney.
The animosity between Eminem and his mother didn’t subside, however. In 2002, Eminem released "Cleanin' Out My Closet," in which he accused her of suffering from Münchausen syndrome by proxy, a disorder in which a caregiver makes up an illness or injury in a person under their care.
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As if that weren't enough, he made more references to her substance abuse in the song "My Mom": “My mom loved Valium and lots of drugs /That's why I am like I am 'cause I'm like her.” He also wrote how she added Valium in his food multiple times. and would threaten to throw him in the basement if he didn’t eat his meal.
My mom/ There's no one else quite like my mom /I know I should let bygones be bygones/ But she's the reason why I am high on what I'm high on
Eminem, "My Mom"
Why Did Eminem Apologize To His Mom?
It’s difficult to distinguish who’s telling the truth when the atmosphere is so incendiary. However, Debbie did try to provide a context in her 2008 memoir My Son Marshall, My Son Eminem.
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“At first I went along with it for Marshall's sake -- if I made one mistake as a mother, it was giving in to my eldest son's every whim,” she wrote, alluding to how she may have added Valium to his food. but only at his insistence. She also insisted that it was an uphill battle to care for her son, given her wretched circumstances. Just because she made some terrible decisions of her own doesn’t mean Eminem should have taken the liberty to defame her at every opportunity.
He never knew his father, and I did all I could to make up for it. I wasn't happy when he made up a whole new life for himself - what mother wants to be known as a pill-popping alcoholic who lives on welfare?
Debbie Nelson on My Son Marshall, My Son Eminem.
With time, Eminem forgave his mother and apologized to her. There’s only so much room for hatred and anger, and when the years weigh down on you, you begin to realize how everyone goes through a hard time.
Who Was Eminem's Father?
In his 2013 song "Headlights," Eminem discussed forgiving his mother, questioning if he had taken his resentment “too far.” He also shed light on the role of his father, Marshall Bruce Mathers, Jr. — or lack thereof — in exacerbating tensions between himself and his mother. If he hadn’t abandoned the family at such a critical juncture, mother and son wouldn’t have had to endure so much hardship.
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At the end of the day, the 50-year-old “loves” his mother, and says she’s “still beautiful” to him. She “did her best” to raise him and his younger half-brother, Nate, even though the “cross” she bore was the heaviest of all.
But regardless, I don't hate you 'cause, Ma / You're still beautiful to me, 'cause you're my Ma [...] All you did, all you said, you did your best to raise us both /Foster care, that cross you bear, few may be as heavy as yours.
Eminem, "Headlights"
Eminem opened Mom's Spaghetti restaurant in Detroit in 2021. However, it's not a sign that he's mended fences with mother Debbie (by all accounts, their relationship remains strained). Instead, it's a reference to his song "Lose Yourself," from the soundtrack to his 2002 acting debut, 8 Mile. The menu includes vegan meatballs, and a spaghetti sandwich (Eminem's favorite).
Let Go of Bitterness
Eminem clung onto so much rage in the first 40 years of his life that he and his mother still remain a little “estranged." It’s OK to feel a grudge, and there’s no reason why you shouldn’t call out people for their dangerous behavior.
However, as you grow older, consider whether the antagonism is worth your time. Our priorities shift, we become wiser, and we tend to forgive ourselves and each other for the past. The bitterness will only deter you in your journey, haunting you every step of the way till you’re ready to combust. Instead, free yourself. It feels good to look forward to the future and not have any regrets about the past. So if you have the opportunity to rid yourself of the bitterness, take it.
Where Has The Love Gone?
An open letter to love
Dear Love,
You are perhaps the greatest of emotions. Your presence and meaning intensify at the most significant moments in our lives either through joy or pain. When we commit our lives to those we love, as in marriage, when we become parents, or sadly, when we lose a loved one, be it by death or simple departure. You can drive us to make a purpose out of our lives.
People have died for you, people have sinned for you, people have used your name in vain. It is often said that it is you who makes the world go round. So as the pre-eminent emotion, the feeling of feelings, you must look upon me and my fellow men and women and be puzzled, disrespected, and shocked. When you view the current state of this world, you MUST wonder, “what have they come to”?
As you see the horrific things we do to each other and our planet, you have to feel forgotten. I understand, I am often ashamed, and on behalf of the world, I apologize. I sincerely apologize. I also think that I can explain, perhaps. I’m not a great sage, nor am I perfect by any means. I may know at least in part; some of what has happened.
You see, over time, we have lost our way. We have made great, strides in technology over the last ten years alone. We can now do things that were once not only thought to be impossible but frankly, many of these things were not thought of at all!!
We can communicate instantly with countless devices - Yet we hardly talk and almost never listen.
We can get from one end of the planet to the other in record time - Yet we tend to move right past each other. We can prepare a hot meal in minutes - Yet we hardly sit down to eat together. We have multiple portable devices to read books upon - Yet we rarely read to each other especially our children
We have come so far and what has it all added up to? A world where instant gratification rules our very existence. The value in building something; ANYTHING of value ( a family, a marriage, a relationship with our children, a business that adds value the community and the lives of those in the community), has left us. If we don’t get something out of it quickly, we quit. Sad as it is, all hope is not lost.
There are those of us who still value hard work, family, and the reward of success earned. There are plenty who still know that love makes the world go round and that we are in need of you today. There are some of us who are aware that our media will more likely feature a story that focuses on the negative, rather than you. But it’s up to us to treat each other with you in our hearts, and I am here to tell you that there are still good people in this world. So don’t give up on us just yet. For within us is the potential to be, to give, and to have an amazing experience.