5 Key Steps to Live with Courage and Make Your Mark
Life puts you through a lot of challenges. From when you wake up every morning to when you go to bed every night, keeping a strong and motivated mindset is indeed tough, but those who succeed are the ones who emerge victorious in life. The most essential thing is that we step up and face life's challenges, irrespective of the outcome. It's in times of adversity that a person's strength of will is tested. Courage is the prerequisite for success in life -- the capacity and readiness to take on situations with your head raised high in spite of the risks.Author Steven Kotler talks about the many different types of courage that we can exhibit in life. Let us look now at a few ways in which we ourselves can begin living our lives with courage, so we can achieve our potentials and make our stamp on the world.The 5 Key Steps to Live with Courage and Make Your MarkCourage is the most important of all the virtues because without courage, you can't practice any other virtue consistently.― Maya Angelou (more quotes)1. Embrace fearAs said by the blind prisoner in Christopher Nolan's The Dark Knight Rises, "How can you move faster than possible, fight longer than possible, without the most powerful impulse of the spirit: the fear of death?" One cannot be courageous without accepting the presence of fear. It is that fear which will in turn make us more courageous as we embrace it but do not obsess over it.Fear comes first, but when followed by unstoppable courage never can someone be stopped in their tracks from achieving something. Living fearlessly is impossible, as it is fear that gives rise to courage. So, let that fear kick in, but make sure that your courage takes over and keeps you moving forward.2. Gain competenceIt is said the key to being more confident and believing in yourself is to become more competent. Once you master a certain skill, courage automatically kicks in and leads you to victory. Competence is the key to excellence, and what gives you the courage and confidence to take on any challenge in life. But remember, a competent person is always learning, and should never become over-confident about certain skills or talents.3. Know yourselfThe biggest thing stopping you from not being courageous is probably yourself. Your fear, your thoughts and your pessimistic attitude are stopping you from living with courage. Hence, start understanding your mind and getting to know yourself. Unless you are aware of your needs, faults, achievements and ill-habits, you cannot improve upon yourself -- and hence, can never build courage. When you truly know yourself, only then can you step up to any challenge in life.4. Stay activeThe day you lay down on the sofa and choose to munch on snacks in front of the television instead of taking on that task that has been pending for a long time, your courage begins to weaken. No one can make you take action except yourself, and as this laziness starts to kick in, your graph of success in life starts to go down. Courage, like any other quality, needs to be nurtured continuously. So keep that energy level high and keep up the motivation to work hard and persevere through the challenges of life.5. See the bigger pictureIf you focus selfishly on the gains you might get from success, I promise you will never find your courage. It's only when you can visualize the benefit on a larger scale, by focusing on helping others, that you find the motivation to take on the challenges, and the courage to persevere through the inevitable losses and failures. Having the courage to speak up against wrongdoing or injustices irrespective of the consequences that might follow is one example of this. Hence, you can be more courageous only when you remove the "you" from the equation and focus on the bigger picture.Now go out and live with courage!There you have it, the keys to being more courageous in whatever task or challenge comes your way in life. Remember that being courageous is indeed the difference between a successful and unsuccessful person -- but more importantly, that we need to have courage in life in order to stand up against the misdoings, and in favor of a better world.
Women and Men Can Both Be Alphas (and Here's How)
We might have evolved into humans from our predecessors, but our instincts and desires are in many ways the same at a basic level. In the animal kingdom, groups are led by the alpha, and the same applies for us today. In society, the one who gets all the wealth, success and basically what he/she wants in life is indeed the alpha or dominant person. Being alpha can often be related to genetics, but like all other characteristics of one's personality, with time and repetition, one can be the person he/she wants to be and achieve all that one desires in this world. Most importantly, unlike in the animal kingdom, for humans a female can also be the alpha person as much as a male can, as Dr. Gaby Cobra explains in this Tedx talk. There are certain traits that have been found to be common among those referred to as the alpha, some of which are likely already in adoption by us in our daily lives. Let's see what they are now and how we can train ourselves to become the dominant one -- the one who gets to make the last call and all the important decisions when it comes to their own life or their respective group in work or society. Women and Men Can Both Be Alphas (and Here's How) Ever loved someone so much, you would do anything for them? Yeah, well, make that someone yourself and do whatever the hell you want. - Harvey Specter 1. Shoulders back, head up! Gents and ladies, straighten up that backbone! The way you sit, stand, walk, make eye contact and talk all matters. I am not talking about necessarily having to lift weights and build a hulk-like physique, although some amount of muscle mass doesn’t hurt. Unlike in the animal kingdom, we humans have also had skinny people leading us. What matters is the way you appear in front of others and the way you can influence them with your non-verbal skills. There are even these exercises you can do for achieving that alpha-like posture. 2. Keep it cool One of the most important trait of an alpha is he/she is always calm under pressure. They are the ones who take control of a difficult situation and can respond rationally even under duress. Keep that cortisol level under control and keep your cool no matter the challenges that confront you. You cannot be the person making the calls when you yourself are shivering out of stress and panic. 3. Be clear and assertive Make your opinions known to others and in a straightforward way without twisting and turning your words. If you believe in your opinions wholeheartedly, then make them heard! Just make sure to speak sensibly -- and do not turn into the aggressive beta who never listens to anyone else and tries to impose his/her opinions through force. 4. Live responsibly The alpha person is well aware of his/her responsibilities and does not let any excuse get in their way. They commit wholeheartedy and do not give up until the responsibility is properly taken care of. The alpha person takes care of their family and friends, and respects their adversaries. They are caring, compassionate and loving, but also honest and critical with their loved ones when the need arises. They are reliable, punctual and most importantly are the same for everyone. 5. Confidence! People, this is the ultimate mantra for being the alpha who takes control of any situation in life. Confidence is the key to emerging on top and staying there no matter what issues might come up. And it can built, if only you desire it. You do not need to be the richest or most knowledgeable person in the world to have confidence in yourself. You just need to decide and act, without doubting yourself much! Now take control That is all you need to possess in order to be the alpha who takes control in every sphere of life. Never again let complaints and excuses stop you from achieving your goals in life!
You Can Be Happier by Being More Assertive (and This Is How)
We all strive for contentment in life, and when we're going through difficult times, we aim to let go of our stress and restore happiness by bringing peace and relaxation to our heart and mind. Often, a cause for these difficult times is not standing up for ourselves. We all have been through situations where a single act of assertion would have led to a different outcome. It could have been as simple as saying "No" to someone or being courageous in speaking against another's will. And it could have made all the difference. Yet instead, we all get stuck in our "what if's" and ultimately end up being the sufferers. In a world where everyone is striving to reach the top and too many try to climb the ladder of success by playing rough, letting yourself be known and speaking up for what is right is an absolute necessity in order to emerge as a human being in the true sense of the word. You Can Be Happier by Being More Assertive (and This Is How) The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything. - Warren Buffett A study performed by Deakin University said, "Being assertive means that when you talk to others you are polite, direct, honest and persistent." With that in mind, let us find out a few ways in which we can stop being victims by asserting ourselves in a healthy way. Surround yourself with assertive people Many traits of your personality are influenced by the people you spend time with. Therefore, start being around people who are not afraid of letting their views be known irrespective of the outcomes. The more you get to know such people, the more you develop and attain their traits. If you are spending most of your time with timid types who are too afraid to make a noise even when injustice is being done to themselves, you will likely end up being as self-effacing as them. Have faith and believe in yourself You can never have the courage to speak up for yourself until and unless you truly believe in your own values and ideas and have faith in yourself. This is directly proportional to the amount of assertiveness you can impart as the more you believe in yourself, the more firmly will you be able to state your own views and opinions. Get the doubts out of your head The worst thing one can possibly do to hamper his/her assertiveness is to constantly question the thoughts, ideas and views that come into their mind. Overthinking takes its toll on all of us, and it never leads to a happy ending. From this time onwards, make sure to throw out those irrational doubts. Find your own way to be assertive Be who you are, and don't try to fake assertiveness, because that will only lead to worse outcomes. It might seem successful at first, but in the long run all you will be left with are fake memories, which will hamper your self-esteem. When you are faking it, you are never able to give your 100%. It's better not to act being assertive in order to prove it to the world. You must really want to let your thoughts be known, and do it in a way that aligns with your personality and values. Be an S-L-R person Here, S-L-R does not refer to the camera type. It instead stands for smart, logical and rational. If you can keep your head calm and stick to these three basic qualities while asserting yourself with conviction and confidence, no argument in the world can stop you. Remember, the idea is to be neither aggressive nor passive, but assertive. So there you have it, your ways to becoming the person you always wanted to become by letting your voice be heard. Make sure to stick to the basic principle of being yourself, and I promise by practicing and incorporating these tips into your daily life you will become a more happier individual over time.
If You Want to Help, Learn the Art of Listening
As humans, we ultimately aim to give back to our universe and society. We can do this by helping those in need -- and simply listening is one important way to do this that is often overlooked. Ernesto Sirolli, in his TED Talk entitled “Want to help someone? Shut up and listen!”, proposes that the first step is to listen to the people you're trying to help. But often we fail to differentiate between hearing and listening. While the former involves the passive act of allowing the ears to input sounds into the brain, the latter involves getting actively and emotionally involved with what is being said. Good listeners are often good speakers too, as they take in information at a deeper level and hold onto it for longer. And one who listens well can win the hearts of people with ease. If You Want to Help, Learn the Art of Listening Eyes see only light, ears hear only sound, but a listening heart perceives meaning. - David Steindl-Rast Let us find the most important qualities and actions to carry out in order to develop your skills as a good listener. 1. Use your eyes Along with your ears, make sure you keep an eye on the person speaking to get non-verbal cues from body movements and gestures. Hearing involves only the use of the ears, but when you're aiming to truly listen, you need to incorporate the use of your eyes to get a fuller idea of what they're communicating. 2. Hold onto your tongue We all know that curiosity killed the cat, and the only way to save and hone your listening skills is to not let curiosity take a toll on you. Listen, listen, and then keep listening, waiting for your chance to speak. And when that chance comes, make sure to utilize it to the fullest and let your feelings be known. 3. React, don’t act Use your body language, eyes and facial expressions to reciprocate to what the speaker says, and check your impulse to want to provide verbal opinions and advice in between. This can be one of the worst mistakes a person can make when listening to others. You do not want to interrupt someone who is in the middle of a train of thought and trying to offer information. This disrupts the speaker's concentration and hampers their attempt to process and provide details. 4. Use your power of visualization Try to visually imagine what the person is telling you about to help you engage in the conversation whole-heartedly. If a person describes a place or person, try conjuring that place or person as an image in your mind. If a person describes a personal experience, try getting into his/her skin and reliving the experience. This makes the act of listening much more active and effective. 5. Don't jump to conclusions When listening, focus on the speaker and not your own thoughts that are striking you at the moment. Do no try to look at things judgmentally, and do not draw premature conclusions. Wait for the person to finish, take a deep breath, and then thoughtfully formulate your feedback. In order to facilitate listening, mastering the act of empathizing is a must. This helps in not drawing conclusions too early about the speaker. Listen and learn So there you have it, the elementary requirements to become a good listener so that from the next time on, every conversation will leave you with information that sticks in your mind and heart forever. Keep listening, and keep helping those around you by first learning from their life experiences.