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What Donald Glover and Atlanta Teaches Us About Being Your Own Biggest Cheerleader
Pop Culture

What Donald Glover and Atlanta Teaches Us About Being Your Own Biggest Cheerleader

Atlanta has set itself apart as one of the most sophisticated shows in the past decade. It’s a genre-defying, masterful collection of compelling characters that venture to find truth about life and existence. Its delivery is backed by an undeniably creative team, written by Donald Glover alongside his brother, Stephen Glover, visionary director Hiro Murai and executive producer Stefani Robinson. After a lengthy hiatus, accommodating for the rise of its cast such as breakout stars Lakeith Stanfield, Zazie Beats and more, Atlanta returned with even more anticipation and regard than ever before. It has this dreamlike quality, as if a déjà vu. The series is a collection of disjointed locations and settings, storylines interweaving and on display, offering an insight into the intricacy of life. Director, Hiro Murai, has an intoxicating way of interlacing the magic and mysticism of the human experience, the dynamics of fate and destiny into the show with ease. “Atlanta is Wild West-y—every corner of the city is trying to get by under its own rules,” he says, “there’s no single narrative. At the outer edges, the overgrown parking lots and project blocks, the city is a few yards away from apocalypse, and if you slow down it could engulf you.” This world-like approach to the show gives the viewers a sense of truth and surrealism at the same time. The ability to capture the energy and essence alongside just the visual cues is the magic to Atlanta’s work. Donald Glover, The Multi-HyphenateGlover grew up just outside Atlanta. He makes the city look seemingly vast and yet intimate as well. In the pilot episode, Earn (played by Glover himself), a directionless Princeton dropout goes to his cousin Alfred Miles’s house with a proposition—and is greeted with a gun in his face. Alfred, a rapper known as Paper Boi is a rapper on the rise. Their relationship, and the way it plays out in the playground that is Atlanta is powerful, comedic, and heartbreaking all at the same time. (Getty)In Los Angeles, Glover has become the poster child for how to rise on your own artistic terms. To stand steadfast in your work and create from the place of an artist, as opposed to a capitalist or something else. The difficulty of which today cannot be understated. Lena Dunham, the creator and star of “Girls,” said, “At least twenty people have told me, ‘I’d like to make something like “Atlanta.” ’And I say, ‘Oh, you mean a show that toggles between painful drama and super-surrealist David Lynch moments to take on race in America?’ That’s not a genre—that’s Donald.”RELATED: Cameron Diaz’s Bold Statement About Age Will Change How You Feel About BeautyJordan Peele, the writer and director of the standout film “Get Out,” said, “For black people, ‘Atlanta’ provides the catharsis of ‘Finally, some elevated black shit.’ ” For white people, Glover wants the catharsis to be an old-fashioned plunge into pity and fear. “I don’t even want them laughing if they’re laughing at the caged animal in the zoo,” he said. “I want them to really experience racism, to really feel what it’s like to be black in America. People come to ‘Atlanta’ for the strip clubs and the music and the cool talking, but the eat-your-vegetables part is that the characters aren’t smoking weed all the time because it’s cool but because they have P.T.S.D.—every black person does. It’s scary to be at the bottom, yelling up out of the hole, and all they shout down is ‘Keep digging! We’ll reach God soon!’”Glover has created something truthful, real and powerful. Although it’s entertainment, it comes from a place deeply rooted in human history, and the human experience. As a black creator, to stand on your own terms and create something so elevated from an artistic perspective, and that also speaks to the truth of racism in society is unbelievably difficult. Glover has been able to do it across different genres and disciplines, a rare offering to the world. Atlanta’s Legacy Atlanta broke all the subtle rules of comedy and drama, creating a masterpiece that is only described by Glover’s distinguishable artistic talent. Both realms are nuanced and difficult to master, but Atlanta is a beautiful collision of styles that make it feel so real-world. Even more real than life itself at times. The team’s ability to capture all the unseen, and uncapturable is what makes this show so special. Director Hiro Murai’s use of the camera perspective to create tension and negative space, to make the viewer feel the emotion and atmosphere of the room, was unique. As writers, they let so many things breathe and that made Atlanta feel all the more alive. RELATED: Madonna Reveals the Ugly Truth About Being a Woman and Turning 60Glover has built a career on taking chances on himself and his unique style. Whether as Childish Gambino, or his many works across film and television, Donald Glover is the definition of a multi-hyphenate creative and entrepreneur. He knows how to tell stories that are distinct, giving and telling of the times, like every true artist. He’s able to see and capture the present moment from a future lens. It’s been a long road to achieve that type of creative control and direction across a variety of disciplines. It takes failure after failure, trust in your team, and in return trust in yourself to carry through and bounce back creatively each time. Even after success, the daunting task of deciding what to do next. Stay in the pocket of successful algorithms and feedback or innovate on to the next thing and risk losing your established fan base’s interest. That there is the role and purpose of the artist. A role which Donald Glover takes very seriously. In today’s landscape, the ability to stay true to yourself as an artist while pioneering new paths and identities is reserved for only the greatest creatives to ever live. Donald Glover is undoubtedly amongst them. His work continues to find new meaning, years after initial release and wherever you go, it’s not hard to find someone patiently waiting to find out what he will do next.KEEP READING:The Truth Behind Lourdes Leon’s Tense Relationship With Her Mother Madonna

How to Talk to Your Teenage Children About Dating
Parenting

How to Talk to Your Teenage Children About Dating

One of the most important phases of a child’s development occurs in that teenage phase of exploration, experimentation and discovery. Although life is a journey filled with ups and downs, and it’s those very experiences that make us, there are many things we can do as parents to help our children navigate through this exhilarating, blissful and at times confusing period of life. Experts tell us that the first step to helping our children through this stage is to educate ourselves on the phases of dating today. It tends to happen in three waves. Many children begin to form their first real crushes in middle school. Despite the fact that they rarely interact outside of class. The second phase, later in middle school, occurs as children begin to socialize on their own time. Today, this primarily occurs through devices and social media. “It changes constantly,” Lisa Damour, a psychologist and author of Untangled explains, “but it might be something like Snapchat, then direct messaging, and then texting.” These relationships are often intense, since — thanks to these devices — kids often spend hours “together” even though they’re not in the same room. As for spending time together in real life, kids tend to go on group dates, with some hand-holding taking place.By phase three, the final two years of highschool, couples are spending time together intimately, and real bonds are forming. They are setting the foundations for the mature relationships they’ll have throughout their lives. Despite what it may seem like however, kids are spending much less time sexually active today than in previous generations, Dr. Damour explains. The Root of Relationships(Photo by leah hetteberg on Unsplash)When you first find out that your child has a crush, it’s important to approach it with kindness and lightheartedness. You don’t want to trivialize it, or make them feel like it’s funny even though it may be cute to you. You also don’t want to apply an adult lens to the situation, and apply too much pressure to something they’re just figuring out. Instead, you want to focus on the platonic part of the relationship. The part that is universal to all human beings. The foundations that teach empathy, forgiveness, compassion, and more. Encourage them to get to know their crush and to become good listeners and communicators. Teach them to have a holistic approach to getting to know someone, how to be understanding and non-judgemental. Be careful though, it’s easy to say these things and then simultaneously judge our children’s crush at the same time. It’s also important to remember that you are, and always will be, a parent. Not your children’s friend. We are responsible for the protection of your kids and knowing the signs of unhealthy relationship patterns falls on our shoulders. Be cautious of overly demanding partners, or relationships where the maturity level or age gap is different. Help your kids steer clear of significant others who encourage risky behavior like sneaking out at night. Although heartbreak is a normal part of sex and relationships, it can be particularly trying for kids, Dr. Damour explains. “When teens are upset, their emotions can outmatch their ability to have perspective, and they can become quite undone.”RELATED: How to End a Relationship: A 5-Step Guide to Breaking up, Letting Go and Moving onHeartbreak is also a normal part of life and it’s important to be available to your children if they’re going through it. “One of the gendered findings from studies is that girls are more likely to discuss heartbreak, while boys distract themselves,” Dr. Damour says. So, girls often get support by reaching out to their peers, whereas boys might feel more isolated with their feelings.(Photo by Francisco Gonzalez on Unsplash)On study indicates that in the Netherlands — where sex ed begins in kindergarten — the teen pregnancy rate is the lowest in the world. If we initially broach the subject earlier, the foundations for healthy relationships and positive attachments to sex are already there. It’s far easier to understand and comprehend, as well as feel comfortable with relationships with a proper understanding and approach. Consent, and Healthy Relationship HabitsA major aspect of these conversations should be centered around consent. Clear consent is the cornerstone to healthy dating for both boys and girls. Dr. Smiler says, “the best advice is to always ask if you can do something first. Let your kids know they need to hear a clear "yes" before making the first move or taking things to the next level. RELATED: What Is Groupthink? How To Avoid This Common BiasDiscuss healthy relationship patterns, especially the importance of both people’s needs being met in a relationship. There is a level of commitment and compromise that must occur. An awareness of each other's emotions and securities is critical to a healthy relationship. It’s imperative for your child to understand that their relationship is a habit, a collection of little acts that indicate how much they truly care for their person. Respect is at the heart of that relationship. Above all, the best thing we can do for our teenage children as they begin dating and onwards is to set a great example in our own relationships. Clearly indicating to them what a respectful relationship looks like, while also being comfortable with discussions around intimacy, how our bodies change and more, gives our children the blueprint to form beautiful bonds. (Photo by Eliott Reyna on Unsplash)No matter what we do, or how much we prepare ourselves, it will still be a journey that unfolds for them to experience on their own. All we can do is provide the best possible framework we can to their situation, and allow them to learn and make judgments on their own. Children do as you do, not as you say. Despite all you teach them, they are more than likely to end up forming the habits they see you undertake in your daily life. Be aware of that, and hold that responsibility in the highest regard, especially in how we treat others, and interact in our relationships. These little actions are the definitions that our children form around love and intimacy.KEEP READING:How to Write a Killer Maid of Honor Speech

How Can Stoicism Have a Positive Effect on Your Love Life?
Dating

How Can Stoicism Have a Positive Effect on Your Love Life?

Stoics can often be misconceived as emotionless or out of touch with their feelings. However the reality is that it’s quite the opposite. They are often very in touch, in control and fully acknowledging their emotional states. They are not overwhelmed by feelings, and they are experiencing them for what they are. It can be difficult to dissociate and watch your emotions play out in front of you without fully indulging in them, but doing so gives you the space to better analyze and make decisions around your life. In the first chapter of his book Meditations, Marcus Aurelius describes the stoic ideal to be free of passion and still be full of love. He wrote, “Not to display anger or other emotions. To be free of passion and yet full of love.” He is referring to a deeper, more foundational form of love over the fleeting emotional form of it. This is at the core of stoicism and love. Many of Seneca’s essays also deal with blind grief over the loss of a loved one. Seneca focuses on love as the basis of moving through grief and avoiding the overwhelming emotions of bereavement after the death of a loved one. The stoics believed it is a futile attempt to desire love from someone who doesn't love their fellow human. For the stoics, love is an essential part of life—a life that is meaningful and virtuous, free from greed and passion.A key facet of understanding love from the stoic perspective is to first understand its ethereal nature. That all things pass, and of course love is no exception to that idea. It is ever-forming and constantly evolving. Stoicism and Beauty(Getty)It’s important as a stoic to not desire a person only for their physical appearance. For a stoic’s love and affinity, it is the character, personality, and moral integrity of a person that provide the fuel for maintaining healthy and loving relationships. A strong foundation that revolves around less superficial aspects of a person are best suited for stoics. Most of their relationships and bonds emerge from personality as opposed to aesthetics. The Romans and Greeks both perceived love and lust as inherently different things. They distinguished between the natures of them and despised lust as a shameful act. They are opposed to the indulgence of lust. Seneca noted “the abandoned belly of lust bears the stain of shame,” and thinks people who are angry, greedy, and violent are the least of the sins of male fashion.That does not mean Stoics should not feel pleasure. Intimacy and pleasure are deeply rooted in the stoic virtues. However, it recommended that the stoic’s relationships are deeper than just physical love. There must be a connection that is cultivated between two partners. Stoicism and Loss of LoveOne of the most difficult aspects of having loved is having to let go. Whether having lost a partner in life, or a relationship coming to an end, losing the person you loved and relied on most in the world can be simply heartbreaking. Stoics know this well and accept the gravity of its meaning. They feel it wise to be careful in committing one’s love to someone in permanence. (Getty)However, the reality is that relationships end, it is a part of the human experience. It’s universal and something we all have to accept. Stoics stay aware and acknowledge this simple fact. Though it doesn’t mean they are guarded and hopeless in terms of their future. It simply means they are accepting of the realities around them, and choose to stay focused on the present. Stoicism and PainPain is also a reality of life and dealing with it is a pillar of stoicism as well. Epictetus offered stoics advice on dealing pain, and the separation from a loved one, “when you are delighted with anything, be delighted as with a thing which is not one of those which cannot be taken away, but as something of such a kind, as an earthen pot is, or a glass cup, that, when it has been broken, you may remember what it was and may not be troubled.” RELATED: Regular Workouts Keep Improving Your Memory and Brain Function — Here’s How“What you love is nothing of your own,” he continues, “it has been given to you for the present, not that it should not be taken from you, nor has it been given to you for all time, but as a fig is given to you or a bunch of grapes at the appointed season of the year. But if you wish for these things in winter, you are a fool.” To be aware and expecting of pain, but not letting it overshadow your present enjoyment is critical to stoic thought. Foundations of Stoicism(Getty)At its absolute core, stoicism is about having the understanding that whatever is out of our control has no real place in our lives. Wasting a thought on things we cannot alter has absolutely no value, or utility in our problem solving. Stoics believe in using their creative energies to find solutions to problems, it’s a process of shifting your attention from anxiety to possibility. They stress it is unproductive and irrational to worry about things beyond one’s control, especially when a person’s mind would do better with rest. The Stoics remind us to distinguish between the controllable and the uncontrollable and to not waste our energy on the uncontrollable or undesirable events.In that, stoicism challenges us to love people in authentic ways. To focus on the deeper connections and distinguish between the superficial aspects too. It’s important to find honesty, within ourselves, and those we are in relationships with. Understand what is not in your control, and in turn what also isn’t in your partner's control too. Be unattached in the aspects that allow you to love fully and without judgment. Be open and acknowledging of your emotions without unnecessarily indulging in them. These pillars put us in the best position to analyze and improve our lives, and relationships.KEEP READING:7 Deep Questions Every Woman Must Ask Her Romantic Partner – And What The Answers Mean

How to Talk to Your Kids About Divorce
Parenting

How to Talk to Your Kids About Divorce

Divorce can be a nasty and heart-wrenching experience to endure and it almost always is. However, it’s also a reality of life and sometimes it can be the best possible solution for you as an individual, or for your family as a whole. Often, we find children caught in the middle of their parents’ unhealthy relationship and that can lead to trauma, depression and emotional issues. It’s important to take the time to navigate the conversation correctly and allow your children the space to digest their own emotions and thoughts. Divorce is a process, it’s not something that just occurs the minute the papers are signed and you are on your way. There’s thousands of, if not more, little scenarios that lead to the divorce, and the aftermath can be just as painful and emotionally exhausting as the build-up. It’s important to recognize that trauma is often passed down from parents to their children. A lot of the emotional issues we find in ourselves came from our parents, and it’s up to us to break the chain and allow our own children the environment to work through that trauma. Tips to Help Your Children Through a DivorcePlan out the conversation beforehand: it can be extremely difficult to tell your children that you and your partner plan to separate. Every kid is different and you can never fully anticipate how they’re going to react. It’s always best to plan the conversation ahead of time to the best of your ability. Although you can’t control every little detail of the conversation, having a foundation to rely upon, and key points to circle back to when the conversation gets off course can be extremely helpful for both you and your child. It’s also important to plan the conversation around a time where you and your child are not too busy. You don’t want to put such a heavy burden on your child right before soccer practice. Talk to your child together(Getty)If possible, it’s always best to present a united front. Help your child understand that the decision is best for both of you, and there’s no need whatsoever to take sides or assume fault. If you have multiple children, best to present the information to them all at the same time. That way you can be sure they heard it from you and not from one of their other siblings. If you need to have separate conversations afterwards based on age, you can then do so. Create a narrative of non-faultIt’s best to create an environment where there is no blame to go around. Don’t make your child feel like one of their parents did something that is leading to the end of their family unit (even if one of the parents did.) Your children don’t need to know all of the details of your divorce and relationship. It’s important for them to feel like this is the best for everyone, and although it may be tough, you are still moving forward as a cohesive unit in terms of next steps. By creating blame games, it can make your child feel isolated and lost in all the noise. Give your children a reason for the divorceAlthough it’s not necessary to share the details for your divorce, it is important to provide a sense of reasoning for your children. You don’t need to lay out the exact timeline of events that occurred that led to the divorce, but you can let them know there is a cause for what’s about to happen next. “We both want different things in our lives going forward; we’ve grown apart and can’t seem to reconcile our differences; we appreciate each other and want to be friends, but we no longer feel like we’re in love.” Providing a reason for the divorce makes it easier for your children to sympathize with you and your partner as opposed to immediately feeling like a victim themselves. Lay the groundwork for what will change and stay the sameThis is one of the most important aspects in the process of getting divorced. Provide a clear groundwork for what’s about to happen next. How are their lives going to change, and what is going to stay the same? What kinds of expectations can they have from both of their parents going forward? Make sure they know where they’re going to live, what their schedule is going to be like and how this may affect any of the important aspects or hobbies within their lives. It’s also okay to be clear about the things you don’t know going forward. It’s a learning process and making your children part of that process can help make the healing component that much stronger. Reassurance is everything(Getty)Be sure to reassure them again and again. Kids are going to take some time to process the information, and will likely repeat questions as they try to wrap their head around what’s going on. Listen and acknowledge them as they interpret the information. Most importantly, make sure the time you’ve set aside to tell them about the divorce is time for them, and not time for you. Their reactions are completely normalYou may find one of the children has an immediate outburst to the news, while the other quietly digests the information. One child may have seen it coming from miles away while the other was totally blindsided and oblivious. Whatever your child, or children feel, it’s normal. Make sure they understand that they can express whatever their feelings are. The conversation is also open-ended, and if they have any questions or concerns afterwards, you can pick it up right where you left off. Being Present and Available for Your Kids in a Difficult TimeOnce you’ve told your children about the divorce, it’s best to give them some space and time to adjust to the news. Be willing and open to discuss it whenever they’d like. Try not to make it a heavy topic, but a reality that we’re all accepting and making the best of. By doing so, you normalize not only the situation but their reactions and feelings as well.

Why Heath Ledger’s Iconic Joker Was Almost Rejected by The Dark Knight’s Director
Actors

Why Heath Ledger’s Iconic Joker Was Almost Rejected by The Dark Knight’s Director

Heath Ledger’s Joker is arguably one of the most memorable performances in American cinema. The character's abrasive nature, unpredictability and terrifying emotion made him a fan favorite almost immediately. What many don’t know is that Ledger initially signed on to be Joker before The Dark Knight was even written and completed. Ledger had enough faith in the team and after seeing what they’d done with Batman Begins, felt confident enough to take on the part. A benefit to his early adoption as the joker was that he was able to incubate the role for quite some time. Ledger spent months cooped up in a hotel room, trying to figure out what his version of the joker would look and sound like. “Heath spent months and months [preparing], we cast him even before the script was written so he had a very long time to obsess about it, think about what he was going to do, to really figure it out,” director Christopher Nolan explains. What Ledger came up with was something no one saw coming, and undoubtedly his role as Joker will be remembered forever. The Voice of Heath Ledger’s Joker Nolan admitted that there was initially a lot of doubt surrounding Joker and the role Ledger would play in bringing him to life. The character was complex, paradoxical and ever-shifting. Ledger had to completely make the character his own but still keep him recognizable to the larger audience. He had to do justice to the original interpretation of the Joker character while reinventing him all at the same time. A key facet to the character ended up being Joker’s unmistakable voice. The eerie and off-putting cadence that turned the character into one of the most unforgettable of his time. (Getty)“In that way he kind of snuck up on it,” Nolan said about Ledger’s Joker voice. “There were moments when you go, ‘Oh, that’s exactly right,’ and there are moments when you go, ‘I hope this is good because I have no idea.’”That unpredictable nature in both Joker’s voice, but his character as a whole ended up being one of the most iconic portrayals in modern cinema. “The voice was certainly scary because it would shift in pitch,” Nolan said. “You never quite know which way the pitch is going to go with the voice. Just as the physical movements were [unpredictable], you didn’t know what he was going to do with his hands, the way he moved, it was always a surprise. The actual tone of his voice was a surprise too. Sometimes threatening and sometimes more sing-song and light.”Nolan also recalls that at first the crew was utterly confused by Ledger’s portrayal. They’d been so used to Jack Nicholson’s portrayal of the character that they felt it was forced, unnatural and wouldn’t sell well on screen. After only a few days though, the entire cast and crew were sold. They knew they were witnessing something really special. The Inspiration for Heath’s JokerThere were undoubtedly many different inspirations that Ledger studied for his role as the Joker. He famously absorbed material such as A Clockwork Orange, and also immersed himself in the paintings of artist Francis Bacon to weed out the character he was looking for. It’s reported that Sid Vicious from The Sex Pistols was also an archetype that Ledger used to base his performance off of. (Getty)Many also speculate that Ledger used artist Tom Waits as an inspiration for Joker’s voice. The artist and character have strikingly similar vocal tones and pitches, and many believe Ledger used his voice as one of the main focuses in his preparation for the role, although this hasn’t been confirmed by Nolan or Ledger. The Legacy and Aftermath of Heath Ledger’s Iconic PortrayalIn hindsight, it’s hard to imagine the Joker being played by anyone other than Heath Ledger. The role was honest, forthcoming and undeniably powerful. It’s become a cornerstone of cinema and one of the best villain portrayals of all time. It’s funny to think that the initial casting was met with so much backlash. Even Nolan’s brother, Jonathan Nolan who co-wrote the film was initially baffled by the decision. “Chris had a good meeting with Heath Ledger, and no one got it,” Jonathan Nolan said in an interview. “I didn’t get it. The studio didn’t get it. Everyone was kind of coming at Chris and saying, ‘We don’t see it.’ And the fan community was….we were f*****ng pilloried for,” Nolan added. “’This is a disaster. This is the worst casting decision ever made.’ And Chris just hunkered down and stuck to his guns and just kept moving along.”Surprisingly enough, despite the backlash and initial pushback on Ledger as the Joker, Nolan had initially envisioned him as the next Batman. He’d asked Ledger to consider the part in Batman Begins, however Ledger turned the role down. “’He was quite gracious about it, but he said, ‘I would never take a part in a superhero film,’” Nolan recalled. However, Ledger later reconsidered after seeing Nolan’s take on superheroes in Batman Begins. “I explained to him what I wanted to do with Batman Begins and I think maybe he felt I achieved it,” Nolan revealed.(Getty)Ledger went on to posthumously win an Academy Award for his performance, undoubtedly well-deserved. Sometimes the greatest characters come from the most unexpected places, and this was such a case. No one expected Ledger, who’d never really played a role as dark and provocative as this one, to forever change the face of villains in superhero films. Ledger’s role is cemented in history, and the work he did to achieve such a balance will also be remembered. The lead-up to the film took a costly role on Ledger’s health, and played a role in his eventual passing. The film-community was shocked by his death, but grateful for his courage and the role he played in delivering one of the best superhero films of all time.

How to Talk to Your Kids About War and Conflict
Parenting

How to Talk to Your Kids About War and Conflict

War is an ever changing, complex machine that seems to be more and more prevalent with each coming day. With access to social media and the ability to watch regimes change within a matter of hours live on your phone, there can be a number of psychological effects that go unnoticed if we aren’t taking care of ourselves. Those effects can be exacerbated tenfold if children are sucked into the mix, and unable to escape the constant narrative around what’s going on in the world. The reality is that it’s not the responsibility of children to pay attention to the wars created and fought by old men. Attempting to understand the complexities of war at such a young age can lead to trauma, as well as emotional dysfunction. Talking about war with your kids is a difficult line to toe because it’s extremely important to teach them about empathy and compassion without overbearing their emotions with things they cannot truly understand. Discussing War with Your ChildrenWhen scary or violent events occur, regardless of where they occur in the world, children may worry about their own safety. It’s important to first and foremost remind your child that the war is occurring somewhere distant, and that they are safe. This allows your child to digest and comprehend the subject without the fear that it will immediately affect them. What we say to our children depends on their age and level of understanding. For children under 10 years old, provide general information at the level they can understand, but keep it relatively brief and spare them the frightening details. There’s obviously no need to fill them in on the horrors of war, but giving them an understanding of what’s occurring and why can build and encourage a healthy dialogue about world events. (Getty)For children aged 10 and above, take the time to converse and be sure to give them a lot of space to listen. Acknowledge that you are hearing their thoughts and understanding of the complex situation. It can be helpful as a parent to find out what they know, what they are worried or concerned about and to validate those feelings. Having an open dialogue with your child is beneficial to both of you and the development of your relationship. Let your child speak and ask the questions they need to. It’s the most powerful way to find out what they already know about the conflict, and where most of their information is coming from. It can be helpful to focus on why they may be feeling a certain way as opposed to what’s causing it. There will never really be a good reason why war is occuring, and that’s a difficult concept to explain to a young, innocent child. It’s also important to correct any misinformation and make sure your child is developing good information literacy habits as a foundation. War can cause a lot of confusion, especially for young children who may have classmates from those seemingly far away countries where it’s taking place. Sadly enough, it’s adults who have become hyper relaxed when it comes to issues of war and poverty. For a child, that can be shocking in and of itself.It’s always critical to keep the conversation age-appropriate. Try your best not to feed your child too much information, or notes that may overwhelm them. You may want to explain that two countries are fighting each other, and it’s the innocent people in between that face the most harm. At the end of the day, you know your child best and will be able to ascertain just how much information you should be giving to them. (Getty)In rare cases, it’s important to watch for behavior changes. If your child complains about nightmares, stomach aches or headaches, he or she may be overly anxious and worried. Younger children may not want to leave your sight, and older kids and teens could show signs of anger or uneasiness. It’s especially important to communicate with your children’s teachers and be aware of how your child may be feeling those emotions at school. Finally, you should always keep your own emotions in check. Children can feel emotions on a deep intuitive level. You are their biggest role model and often they are going to look at your reactions to determine how they should respond to a given situation. If possible, keep the political and war discussions away from the children and be sure not to delve into any unnecessary details when they may be listening without you knowing. Limiting Your Children's Exposure to NewsA massive aspect of whether your child will be overwhelmed by world events depends on the amount of information they are consuming and exposed to. If they spend most of their day on social media, or studying intense topics in school, then come home to watch the news with you, it’s possible the sheer amount of information may be a cause of concern. Limiting your child’s exposure to news is the best way to limit those overwhelming and intense emotions. They allow for the child to have a safe boundary between themselves, their childhood and the rest of the world. It’s not their responsibility to be plugged into the countless world issues they had no hand in creating. A constant stream of information can cause them to become numb, anxious or angry at the world. Giving them space to be children, enjoy the outdoors, laugh and play games are the pillars to avoiding information burnout or overload. (Getty)It allows for you to have open and honest, as well as informative conversations about war and what is happening in the world, without risking the emotional health of your child. Taking the time to explain their own privilege to them, and focusing on the ways they may be able to help people in need can be an extremely positive consequence of these conversations. It’s important to let your child lead the conversation and discover their own education about the world around them.

A Collection Of Tips To Learn How To Let Go
Emotional Health

A Collection Of Tips To Learn How To Let Go

Holding on to things we can’t control can cause us a great deal of stress and unhappiness. It also keeps us stuck in the past, and keeps us from growing and living our lives freely. If we want to be happy and free, then we need to learn to let go. Trauma occurs in the nervous system, when an event happens and our systems freeze in place. In order to let go of that stress, we have to reset our nervous system. Attachment is mental and emotional fixation on something we think we need or want. We get attached to things like people, views, outcomes, or material possessions. Many of us walk around with fear of abandonment and other trauma attached to our experiences growing up. These fixations and obsessions create irrational fears and thought patterns within our minds. Many of us confuse the feeling of pleasure or emotional gratification, with happiness. Happiness is both a passing emotion and overall state of being. You don’t have to be happy in the moment to be happy overall. True happiness comes from freedom from suffering, not emotional pleasure. Yet our society teaches us that if we achieve or acquire things that bring us pleasure, then we’ll be happy. Happiness takes work and an understanding of the different energies within our body and surrounding us everyday. Holding on is also a habit. Our behaviors are so deeply ingrained in us that we just hold on to things without even realizing it. In addition, we’re afraid to look at ourselves because we may not like what we see.The Benefits of Letting GoIt’s easy to hang on to things that are no longer serving us, such as unhealthy relationships, habits, and thoughts that maybe once offered something of importance to us, but not longer do. A part of the growth process is to grow apart, move on and evolve, and in many different forms.(Getty)In terms of relationships, it’s important to not hold on too tightly to your partner. Independence and freedom are critical to healthy growth and interaction. Without it, couples begin to mold into each other and lose the passion that once made the relationship so fun and interesting. Without being challenged, we aren’t able to let go of the comfortable but toxic habits we’ve built up. We end up carrying that around with no true way to express it. When you learn to let go, you’ll attract healthier people in your life. Energy is real and the feeling you put out into the world will be received and reciprocated. Moving with a free and open energy will attract that same energy into your life. You’ll inspire people to also let go and be open.If we hold on to something, we can’t move forward. We cannot grow emotionally if we hold on to something we think brings us happiness. If you keep holding on to things around you, then you will remain stuck in the past because things are always changing.As you learn to let go, your self-esteem and self-confidence will grow. When you realize that you won’t die from letting go of things you thought you needed, you will be able to pursue things that are healthier for you.(Getty)Tips on Lettings GoMantras can be an extremely helpful way to help you let go of things you’ve been holding on to for too long. How you talk to yourself can either move you forward in life or keep you stuck in the same old habits. Often, having a mantra that you tell yourself in times of emotional pain can help you reframe your thoughts, calm your nervous system and stay in control. It can help you prevent that trauma from setting in the first place.Clinical psychologist Carla Manly explains,, instead of utlising terms and phrases like, “I can’t believe this happened to me!” try a positive mantra such as, “I am fortunate to be able to find a new path in life — one that is good for me.”It’s not uncommon to hear someone say that you should distance yourself from the person or situation that is causing you to be upset. According to clinical psychologist Ramani Durvasula, that’s always a good idea. “Creating physical or psychological distance between ourselves and the person or situation can help with letting go for the simple reason that we are not having to think about it, process it, or being reminded of it as much.” (Getty)Sometimes distance is the necessary step in letting go and moving on. It takes discipline and can be extremely tough, however in a sense, we can be addicted to people and thoughts just as we are to other things. Distance is a key factor in letting go and moving on. Focusing on yourself is also of the highest importance. You have to clearly address the hurt that you’ve experienced. Working through your feelings will help you rationalize, digest and come to powerful conclusions about your situation. Taking the time to take care of yourself outside of your experience is also important. Go to the gym, eat healthy, practice self-care and self-love. Each day lay a brick in the foundation of a healthy mental model. It will make a world of difference. The more we can bring our focus to the present moment, says Lisa Olivera, a licensed family therapist, and the less impact our past or future has on us. “When we start practicing being present, our hurts have less control over us, and we have more freedom to choose how we want to respond to our lives.” By building an ecosystem around ourselves and our daily habits that promote letting go and forgiveness, we will ultimately lead healthier and happier lives. Having engrained actions that allow us to calm our nervous systems, unload stress throughout the day, and remove projected emotions away from our partners and relationships, and out into the world, gives us the opportunity to experience our present more clearly and openly than ever before.

A Guide to Forgiving Yourself (And Others) For Inner Peace
Motivation

A Guide to Forgiving Yourself (And Others) For Inner Peace

Self-criticism is an all too common experience for many of us today. It can be hard to escape the constant anxieties, pressures and depressive thoughts that seemed forced upon us in everyday life. With over-worked job schedules, managing relationships, as well as the constant reminders of the unattainable, over-exaggerated life we see on social media, it’s very easy to get down on ourselves all the time. The detrimental effects of self-criticism are extremely serious and can not only lead to seclusion and other social consequences, but can also have serious effects on your health. It’s vitally important to take the necessary steps to break down the self-critical habits within our lives so we can move through the world with an openness and understanding, for ourselves and others. It can be easy to look at a situation where we acted wrongfully, and feel as though the first step is to take responsibility and show remorse for our actions. This is what we've been taught since we were young. However, the reality is that this pattern does not help to decrease the negative thoughts that seem to occur after this.Taking responsibility, and feeling bad about an action, although important, does not help to create a healthy internal dialogue around our mistakes. Above all, taking responsibility and showing remorse are external cues that tell the people around us we understand we are at fault, and hope to improve upon that mistake. Elements of Forgiving YourselfFocus on your emotions: the first step to forgiving yourself and others is to focus on what you’re feeling. Listen, and understand the root of your emotions so you can better place them. Sometimes, when we have intense feelings of guilt it’s easier to displace or ignore them. Instead of pinpointing them we put them in our subconscious and focus our now misguided attention elsewhere. (Getty)Create a learning environment: instead of focusing on your faults, and feeling anxious over the things we or others have done wrong, it’s much more powerful to look at every situation as a learning experience. By forming a strong habit of analyzing situations immediately, from an educational perspective as opposed to a judgmental perspective, you will almost always be able to bypass those negative thoughts of guilt and anxiety. Give yourself permission to take your time: not every situation or mistake has to be dealt with immediately. Sometimes it’s best to take your time, allow your emotions to settle, or digest the problem in full. You have every right to do so. Pay attention to your inner monologue: instead of letting our critical thoughts overrun our mental space, sometimes it’s better to remove ourselves and listen to our thoughts from a distance. It’s important to pay attention to the inner monologue and to be sure we’re not being overly critical or harmful to ourselves. Another key facet of forgiveness is to understand we are not defined by our thoughts. Our inner dialogue is constantly passing in front of us and it’s okay to be critical without being obsessed with that critical thought. Be clear about what you want from yourself: after making a dire mistake, it’s critical that you are clear about what steps you’d like to take to make amends. Without that clarity, you spend more time analyzing than acting. That can leave you in a pool of anxious thoughts without ever reaching a conclusion. Working through your feelings includes moving in the physical space. Take concrete actions in the real world to make amends to others or yourself.Take your own advice: it’s far easier to give advice than to receive it. The reason simply being that we are often much more critical of ourselves than others. Sometimes you need to treat yourself as you would a friend. Remove the emotions, and give yourself some positive advice to fix the situation. Delete the replay tape: the worst thing we can do after a bad situation is to replay that situation again and again in our mind. Habits like this are the foundation of anxiety and will keep us in a place of unforgiving turmoil. Through replaying these moments in our mind, we also begin to exaggerate the situation and the reactions of those around us. We start to assume all the things people are thinking or saying about us. We are now removing ourselves from a growth mindset and instead focusing on issues that won’t help us move forward. (Getty)Seek professional help: finally, the most helpful thing we can do is to seek therapeutic help to relieve our self-critical minds. A proper professional can help you navigate the complex emotions that come with forgiveness. Daily Rituals to Sustain a Healthy Mind and Find Inner PeaceAt the core of being forgiving is a system of healthy daily rituals that create a positive mindset around growth and mistakes. If we are able to anticipate and acknowledge that we are going to make mistakes, then the minute they happen, they are mere opportunities for growth as opposed to moments of anxiety and guilt. Defeating guilt is extremely difficult, and it’s important to slowly work through our trauma as opposed to ignoring it. It’s critical to accept our mistakes, but also shift our perspective about how we view ourselves. Treating ourselves as our best friend is one of the most powerful tools to achieve inner peace. One of the best daily rituals we can use to forgive ourselves is journaling our thoughts everyday. Getting out the unproductive thoughts that don’t help us solve our problems is one of the best ways to clear our minds and emotions. By doing so, you will find yourself thinking much more clearly about how to move forward as opposed to paralyzed by analysis. Meditation is also a powerful way to clear our minds and find comfort with our emotions. Sometimes the best way to move through a feeling is to sit with it for sometime. Truly sit with it until you feel comfortable enough to think clearly through it. (Getty)At the end of the day, as with everything else, forgiveness is a habit that must be practiced and attained. We are all capable of building it within ourselves.

Here’s Why J. Cole’s 'Love Yourz' Will Make You A Happier, More Grounded Person
Pop Culture

Here’s Why J. Cole’s 'Love Yourz' Will Make You A Happier, More Grounded Person

J. Cole is easily regarded as one of hip hop’s greatest artists and lyricists of all time. His work has stood the test of time and each of his projects has built upon each other. Known especially for his writing and decadent flows, his work is unique in that he often speaks of issues that are uncommon in hip hop. Cole has often spoken of ego, arrogance and jealousy on the rise to the top, but also family, love and protection. His seminal project, 2014 Forest Hills Drive is still considered his best work of all time. The project was certified triple platinum in May 2019 (selling over 350,000 copies within it’s first week alone), a testament to Cole’s powerful following as he accomplished the feat with absolutely no features on the project. The album is a culmination of Cole’s life, from the suburbs of Fayettevile, North Caroline to the eventual top of hip hop’s coveted mountain. The story brings us into the world of our protagonist who is on the verge of accomplishing all of his dreams, making it big in Hollywood and beginning to self-actualize all that he’s ever dreamed of. Throughout the journey Cole realizes the entire dream is smoke and mirrors. Though he’s accomplished all he’s ever dreamed of, Cole is still unfulfilled and this leads him on a journey of self-discovery for what’s actually important in life. The project itself is understated, beautiful and a powerful portrait of a young black artist who rose from nothing to achieve everything he ever wanted. At the last moment he turns around in realizing that nothing is valuable without family and community to share in the moments. Why J. Cole Created Love Yourz(Getty)Love Yourz, the closing track from 2014 Forest Hills Drive is a poignant letter to Cole’s community about success, the downfalls of fame and wanting things we don’t have. Gratitude is at the center of all enlightenment. Understanding that you have to be comfortable and secure with what you have, and not obsessed with what others have is key to being present in the moment and finding enjoyment with those around you. “No such thing as a life that's better than yours; no such thing as a life that's better than yours (love yours),” Cole sings in the opening lines of the track. A simple, yet powerful line that indicates a transformation in Cole and his mindset. Even more powerful is that it’s rare to find a verse that speaks to this in the hip hop community, which is often centered around flexing what you do have over others, and painting aspirational moments within your life. “It's beauty in the struggle, ugliness in the success; hear my words and listen to my signal of distress; I grew up in the city and know sometimes we had less; compared to some of my niggas down the block, man, we were blessed,” he continues. Cole pleads to his community to understand that although he has accomplished something most only dream of, it’s the process that was the true gift and fulfillment. Success is only a consequence of the work, and once you reach that mountaintop you’re likely to find that it was the journey you were so passionate about the entire time. “On the road to riches, listen, this is what you'll find; the good news is, nigga, you came a long way; the bad news is, nigga, you went the wrong way; think being broke was better,” Cole laments at the end of his first verse. He goes on to explain he means no disrespect to those struggling with everyday survival.He certainly does not mean to say that having no financial security is better than having it, however what he does mean is that those dreams we often build-up in minds are not all that they seem to be. It’s easy to look left, and right and pick out all the things we don’t have, but in order to achieve a powerful state of gratitude and happiness, we also need to accept that it’s in our nature to feel unsatisfactory with the present moment. Happiness is not a state of being, but a passing emotion. It’s important to be aware of that fact and try and find the positives in every situation we find ourselves in. Undoubtedly, it’s the reason we see millionaires doing their ultimate best to become billionaires and so one. Greed is at the cornerstone of unfulfilled feelings. “Livin' with nothin' to lose, I hope one day you hear me. Always gon' be a bigger house somewhere, but n*gga feel me, long as the people in that motherf*cker love you dearly. Always gon' be a whip that's better than the one you got, always gon' be some clothes that's fresher than the ones you rock; always gon' be a b*tch that's badder out there on the tours, but you ain't never gon' be happy 'til you love yours.”Jermaine ColeCole finishes his song with an earnest letter to his people. There will always be more elegant houses, faster cars, expensive clothing but none of that will actually help you achieve the happiness we are all inevitably looking for as humans. (Getty)Daily Practices of Gratitude Happiness is a difficult concept to grasp in all reality. It means so many different things to different people. At the cornerstone of happiness is understanding and acknowledgement. Gratitude for that which we have, and awareness of all the things so many people lack. In today’s Instagram-influenced world, it’s hard to avoid seeing all the amazing things people are seemingly up to all the time. Though we know all too well that much of what we see on social media is fake, it still strikes a note within our minds that we aren’t living as lavishly as we want to. Being able to catch ourselves, and ground ourselves in these moments are unbelievably important. Being present, and engaging with the environment and people around you will help lead you to a more fulfilling life. You’re no longer spending time, and wasting your life worrying about all that you’re missing out on, instead you’re experiencing life first-hand with that which you do have.