3 Strategies to Stop Overthinking and Start Living Now
Happy people don't overthink things. They decide to stick with something and go with it, for better or for worse. The people that we aspire to, the people that get ahead, don't get there by spending their time endlessly worrying about things and going nowhere. You will never find your inner peace and happiness until you learn to stop overthinking and start living. This article will give you strategies to help you get there.Don't get me wrong, productive thinking can be good. Taking the time to educate yourself, read books, and to develop a strategy are all crucial to your growth. But you should not spend too much time at this phase. Stop thinking about what you could be missing, and either take action or move on. I have motivated and assisted many people on their way to success. Most people are able to learn and understand what they need to do, but I've noticed that few people are actually capable of making a decision and sticking with it. Some spend months or even years in this planning phase, trying to prepare for that first step. They fixate on getting every detail right, and they lose sight of the original goal or reason for doing what they were doing in the first place.The backbone of your plan to happiness must be as strong as possible, but if you spend your time overthinking every detail, you'll never start. If you never start, you will never reach happiness. Happiness comes from being on a path to your goals and accepting that you might fail many times along the way. A key mental habit to help with this is to stop imagining all the ways your plans might not work and instead focus on all the ways and reasons why they will and must work.The truth is that thinking about your 20th step before you've even made your first doesn’t make any sense. Nobody has a crystal ball that shows what the future might hold, and by trying to account for every scenario you inevitably start assuming negative outcomes. This is the main danger with overthinking, and also its futility. If you look back to your past experiences, you'll realize that most of your assumptions were wrong. Nobody knows how situations will turn out, and life will keep throwing you surprises! That's part of what makes life exciting.There will be both positive and negative turns in your life. It's how you react that makes the difference, and most people don't plan for the positive. What if your business works out and you get too much demand for your product or service? What do you do next? What if your work gets recognized by the biggest star in your field? How do you respond?Another key mental habit is learning to accept that you won't have all the answers, but to trust in your ability to transform every situation into something positive. Always believe that you can overcome anything and you will.It's okay to be nervous when you start something new, but with time, you will realize that to be happy you need to have courage. Courage to stand for what you believe in. Courage to accept that not everyone will support you on your path. Courage to face the unknown of tomorrow. It's literally like jumping into a pit and knowing that in the end you'll find a soft landing.Here are 3 simple strategies to stop your overthinking dead in its tracks, so you can get on with living a life driven by hope and happiness.1. Get used to not having answersNobody is supposed to know all the answers to life. Isn't the unknown what makes life interesting? Imagine if you knew when you would die, how would you spend your life then? What if you knew that you will never reach the goal you want to reach? Would you be able to bear the truth? Enjoy the process and stop overthinking the outcome.2. Take small stepsOur dreams and goals tend to intimidate us because of their sheer size. You will eventually need to be a giant to conquer them, but you will grow so slowly that it's often imperceptible in the day to day. Instead of fixating on doing everything now, take small steps and pick a pace that suits you. And most importantly, don't compare yourself to others. Everybody has their own stories and backgrounds, their own strengths and weaknesses, and their own rhythm. By concentrating on your own path and taking small steps towards your goals, you'll see that you'll end up being a giant by the end of your journey.3. Don't be afraid to jumpKeep trying to move and don't be afraid to make mistakes because you don't know better yet. Be quick to make decisions that bring you closer to your goal. If they end up revealing themselves as the wrong ones, you will learn from them and do better next time. Don't let the lack of knowledge stop you from setting milestones. Set a clear vision of what you want and when you want to achieve it.
How Fear Limits Your Success
There is a very interesting behavior that people usually display when confronting a tough situation. Most people tend to look at the most negative possibilities when they are dealing with a new situation. We tend to look at all the worst-case scenarios, but we can rarely imagine the best-case scenarios.How Fear Limits Your SuccessFear can be a good thing, but it should not incapacitate your ability to think clearly. Fear triggers an interesting phenomenon in us. We start to see and imagine things that are most likely not going to happen. Someone who has a fear of flying will freak out when she is a plane. But actually, she doesn't fear being in the aircraft, but more likely that it might crash. Even if the odds of dying in a plane crash are only one in 11 million, she will still be fearful. To put it into perspective, you're more likely to be attacked by a shark or hit by lightning than you are to die in a plane crash.Fear doesn't address our rational thinking but rather our emotional thinking. It's a natural danger signaler, but sometimes our inner alarm rings even without a true risk. In these cases, we should try to think logically to avoid panicking when our metaphorical alarm starts ringing.Imagine the fire alarm going off at your office. The first thing to do is to evacuate everyone from the building. Once everyone is outside, that's when we actually check to see whether a fire is burning or not. In this example, the people who are fearful wouldn't check to see if there was an actual fire, they would just leave the office and keep running even if there isn't any fire burning.The point is that you should not carelessly react to your fears. Catch yourself for a second and think about whether the fear is well founded. Being overly fearful will limit your success.The LimitationOne of the biggest killers of dreams is the lack of imagination. Someone that doesn't let his imagination flow automatically limits himself. We often think that there is a laid down law to life. We act as if there is a guideline for everything around us. Many people leave chances unattempted simply because someone before them failed to reach the same goal. Just because many failed before you, doesn't mean that you won't make it either. If you do the same thing, then you should expect to fail as well. Attempt to look at your challenge from a different perspective and come up with new and creative ways to achieve your goal.“Pessimism leads to weakness, optimism to power.”– William JamesThis is where fear can be limiting. It's almost impossible for you to pursue something if you think that the outcome will be negative. Instead, you should look at the challenge in a more confident and optimistic way. By putting on your rosy glasses, you will be able to imagine and then create the path to your goal.
10 Things Successful People Never Do
Successful individuals are admired by most of us. Everyone wants to be like them, but when you try to imitate their success, you'll notice that it's not that easy. What is their secret ? No one has a clear answer, and no one can claim to know the sure path a person should walk to get there, but when you dig deeper you realize that there are certain behaviors or habits that most achievers avoid that could be a bigger factor for their accomplishment. You should consider eliminating these behaviors if you want to be at least as successful as they are. Here are 10 things successful people never do.10 Things Successful People Never DoBelieve in failureSuccessful people don't separate the success from their failures since their definition of failure is very different from that of society.“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”― Thomas EdisonYou can’t separate success from failure since it’s all part of the same process. Making mistakes only means that there are things that you still don't know. To succeed, you have to be willing to make those mistakes so that you can learn to overcome adversity.Therefore successful individuals don't perceive mistakes as failures but as a necessary for their progress towards a goal. You only fail when you quit.Care about others opinionsImagine what world we would live today if the Wright brothers listened to the critics and stopped working on the airplane or if Sergey Brin and Larry Page didn't start Google after being repeatedly told that it was a bad idea.Most people stop pursuing their dreams as soon as they get confronted with some kind of opposition. They assume people must cheer them up for them to be successful.The next time someone gives their opinion about your ambitions, try to ignore it, because, in the long run, it won't matter. Most of the time, the people giving advice have never done what you want to do.You should instead listen to the masters in your field. You wouldn't ask an unsuccessful salesperson about his opinion if you want to become a successful one. You'd rather consult the most successful salesperson you know. Most masters encourage people that are below them to follow their passions however crazy they may sound.Successful people have opinions of their own, but they will never claim that their opinion is the only right one. Their self-esteem is high enough that they can admit and apologize if they are wrong. In other words, they are sometimes wrong that doesn't stop them from moving forward.Next time, think about it for a minute; Why would you ever put others opinions above your own?Waste their timePeople say time is money. But I don't agree with that. Time is even more valuable than money. Successful people know that.You can almost get anything back in life: If your girlfriend leaves you, you can get a new one, if you lose money, you can work more and earn it back, if you break your MacBook, you can buy a new one. Time is one of the few things in life that you can't get back. Once a moment is gone, you can't have it back.Money only helps you have more access to time, but it can't buy it and that's why successful people work and act with a sense of urgency because they know that the clock is ticking, it could all be over in an instant. Stop postponing the important things, do them now."Almost everything - all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart."― Steve JobsBlame others for their circumstancesYou will never find top achievers blame others for their misfortune. They always take the blame. In some cases, they will even take the blame for other people's mistakes.Blaming others provides your brain with an easy excuse to not improve upon yourself. You'll just think "It wasn't my fault, it was his. So, I'm okay, it's he who has to change not me." But by taking responsibility for your own actions, you'll have to work on yourself to avoid the same mistakes or circumstances again.“If you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that! I'm always gonna love you, no matter what. No matter what happens. You're my son and you're my blood. You're the best thing in my life. But until you start believing in yourself, you ain't gonna have a life.”― Sylvester Stallone, Rocky BalboaExpect money as rewardIf you do what you do just for the sake of getting rich, you won't get far. One of the most important requirements for achieving massive success is to love what you do. Successful people do what they do for the simple reason that they love it!It's just like being in love. If you really love someone you would want to spend as much time as possible with that person and in many cases you would sacrifice a lot to be that person! And that's the same with your work. You have to love what you do so much that you are willing to give up other things in order to pursue your passion. Mark Zuckerberg famously said "We don't build services to make money. We make money to build better services." If you're not willing to do it for free, then don't do it for money.You need a lot of passion for what you're doing because its so hard. Without passion, any rational person would give up. So if you're not having fun doing it, if you don't absolutely love it, you're going to give up. And that's what happens to most people. Actually if you look at the ones that ended up being successful in the eyes of society, often times its the ones who love what they do, so they could persevere when it got really tough. And the ones that didn't love it, quit. Because they're sane, right? Who would put up with this stuff if you don't love it? So it's a lot of hard work and it's a lot of worrying constantly. If you don't love it, you're going to fail.― Steve JobsBelieve in luckApart from impossible, luck is another word that you won't find in the vocabulary of the movers and shakers. Luck to them is the outcome of their work. Successful people don’t wait for luck in order to achieve a breakthrough. They believe in the old saying that “Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity” and so they work on preparing for the opportunity instead of waiting for it or even worse, hoping for it.“I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.”― Stephen LeacockSet random goalsOne of the most important things in getting successful is having clear goals. You need a clear vision of what you want to achieve to be able to eventually get there.“If you aim at nothing, you will hit it every time.”― Zig Ziglar"I want to be rich" is not a goal. Your goal has to be precise, ambitious and with an expiration date. "I will make 2 million in sales by 2020" is a lot better. Set well-defined and measurable goals for yourself and you'll have a higher likelihood of reaching it.Think the common wayThe successful think differently than others by default. Where others might see a problem or difficulty, they see an opportunity. They carefully examine the situation and take it upon themselves to find the solution.When Apple presented the first iPod, the MP3-player market was already saturated. When Google started, there already was other search engine giants like Yahoo or Altavista in the market. When Facebook started, there already were a dozen of other social media platforms. But each of the incumbents had a flaw in the way they worked, and the newer startups had a better and more convenient solution.“All great thinkers are initially ridiculed – and eventually revered.”― Robin S. SharmaTry to change things that are uncontrollableYou will never hear successful people complain over their circumstances. Instead, they concentrate on exercising power over the things they can control.Successful people understand that there are situations that are out of one's control and that the only thing to do in these situations is to change your attitude. Rather than blame everything and someone or something else, successful people know to recognize the controllable things in life and then appropriately mold them into a more favorable state."When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves."― Viktor E. FranklDo everything aloneI've met a lot of people who surely could have needed some help, but were too proud to admit it. Successful people do work hard, but they don't shy away from seeking help when they need it.Imagine if you are running your own company. That means you need a marketing department, a human resources department, an accounting department and so on. How are you going to do all these tasks by yourself? Well, you can't. There is no way that you can do everything by yourself and eventually you'll have to give up control."Ask for help, not because you're weak, but because you want to remain strong."― Robin S. Sharma
Going Against the Odds To Be Successful
Before you make a choice, you usually evaluate the odds. As any rational thinking person, you won't be willing to do something if the chance of winning seems too low. The truth is that it’s all about how you perceive your likelihood of success. So, ironically if you want to be successful you need to go against the odds. How Going Against The Odds Will Make You Successful The inner child When we grow up, life becomes way too serious and no fun at all! You have growing responsibilities, and social pressure is always on your neck. But do you remember that as a kid, you didn't think much about the things you did? You just did it! You didn't even care about what people thought about you; the only goal was happiness. But somewhere along the way people's opinions of you began to matter and somehow you ended up incorporating their opinions into your reality. Try to remember what you wanted as a child. Maybe you wanted to become a musician, but people laughed at you and your dreams telling you that you would never make it. The sad part is that you actually listened to those people, just to avoid criticism, took a path that was more "realistic" and socially acceptable. Unfortunately, you ended up paying a high price; your joy of life. Awake the inner child in you again and start following what you like, regardless of the probability to reach your goals. When you grow up you tend to get told the world is the way it is and your life is just to live your life inside that world. We’ve all heard it. Try not to bash into the walls too much. Try to have a nice family, have fun, save a little money. That's a very limited life. Life can be much broader once you discover one simple fact. As Steve Jobs once said: “Everything around you that you call life was made up by people that were no smarter than you and you can change it, you can influence it, you can build your own things that other people can use. Once you learn that, you'll never be the same again.” The Hard Path Don't choose a dream by how hard it is to achieve; you should instead do something you love regardless of the odds. The interesting thing about taking a hard path is that there is almost no competition along the way. This large advantage is often overlooked. I'm often reminded of the Les Brown quote “People who aren't successful in life don't fail because they aim to high and miss, but precisely because they aim too low and hit.” “People who aren't successful in life don't fail because they aim to high and miss, but precisely because they aim too low and hit.” -Les Brown If you quit your goals because the odds are against you, you'll always end up working on ideas that have a higher probability of success, and this is exactly what you want to avoid doing. Let me explain. When you do things that have a higher chance of success, that means that more people are willing to do the same thing as you are. That almost always means that the reward is also small because so many people are pursuing it. But when your dream is hard to achieve, most rational people usually give up along the way, leaving you one of the few people to remain in the race. So to get the bigger reward you have to go against the odds, in other words, you have to be a little crazy. Be Crazy Never be afraid to have a little sane touch of madness. I remember when I was six years old, and I heard my neighbors talking about the future. One of them said, that someday in the future it would be possible to fly to Mars as an average person. Everyone called that man crazy. Well now, 17 years later, everyone is cheering for Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos among others. As you can read in the New York Times Best Seller Elon Musk: Tesla, SpaceX, and the Quest for a Fantastic Future, Elon Musk's childhood dream was for humans to colonize Mars. To get to his dream, he had the crazy idea of creating a rocket company that would build a better and cheaper rocket that even NASA thought was possible. When Elon Musk asked NASA for help on this project, they thought he was crazy and ignored his overtures. Elon Musk decided to go at it alone. He was determined to create a better and cheaper rocket than NASA so that ordinary people could, one day, can fly to Mars. But it wasn't easy. SpaceX tried to launch a rocket three times, and it failed every time. They ran out of money, and Elon Musk had to mortgage his house and get loans from his (rich) friends, but eventually he gathered enough money for one last try and on that last try is when they had their breakthrough. SpaceX was able to fly a rocket into space at 1/10th NASA's cost. Now the whole world is talking about how people will be visiting Mars in the near future, and NASA even pays SpaceX to use their technology. Surely it seems crazy to think that big! No sane man would even dare to think about colonizing Mars. But that's what makes the extremely successful people so successful; they always aim for the impossible. Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. But the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do. - Apple's 1984 Think Different Commercial