Close Ad

  • Christine Evangelou

    Christine is a fitness professional, motivational writer, and self-published author. She is passionate about inspiring people to be the best they can be, and helping them move past their perceived limits to reach their dreams by following their heart and their truth.
Chasing Rainbows: Why the Search for Happiness Keeps Making Us Sad
Purpose

Chasing Rainbows: Why the Search for Happiness Keeps Making Us Sad

I have lived with this illusory search for happiness for as long as I can remember. I have captured instances, moments, and clusters of happy, yet nothing that ever stood the test of time. Lately, I've begun to wonder if happiness is a wild goose chase, something that will always be ten steps ahead of me -- like the chicken in the Rocky movies that is just too quick for me to catch. Each time she slips through my fingers, I think about how it makes me so inherently sad. So should I still exert myself and lose every second of the here and now just to chase this chicken? Happiness means different things to all of us. For some, happiness is a fulfilling career. For others, it's a contented relationship, the smiling eyes of their children, or just embracing something that fills one's heart with joy. In truth, no one can give or sell us ‘happy’; happiness is an emotion and a state of being that must come from within. Emotions are fluid, they will come and they will go -- so is happiness ever really meant to stick? Chasing Rainbows: Why the Search for Happiness Keeps Making Us Sad You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life. ― Albert Camus Ask most people what they want in life, and many will answer, “I just want to be happy.” We are all on a quest for joy, fulfillment, and soul riches. Perhaps what we've been sold about happiness since our childhood days of reading fairy tales with happy endings has twisted and tangled our ideas about what happy actually looks like. Because in those fairy tales and heroic stories, happiness is never now -- it is always far away in the future some place, and it always depends on something or someone else. Is happiness an illusion? I don't have to chase extraordinary moments to find happiness -- it's right in front of me if I'm paying attention and practicing gratitude. -- Brené Brown Perhaps the way we view happiness is where the illusion lies. When it's away into the future it's too far off for us to grasp, and when we do it's too fleeting for us to slow down and savor. It's too broad as a concept to be able to define and limit to the achievement of any one thing. When we focus our dream of happiness onto a present lack, we are setting ourselves up for sorrow. Happiness comes with no guarantee. It is not something we can fix in place. READ: Don't Wait for Your Dreams to Bring You What You Crave When we think of how we measure our happiness, we're often geared towards massive accomplishments and the blissful rewards they promise. Yet we can find greater meaning and purpose in the smaller, everyday things which the wider, more ambiguous search can sometimes steer us away from. Inwardly, happiness is more simple: it is self-awareness, self-acceptance and self-love. Our inner sources of joy should not need external definition. The impermanence of happiness People who postpone happiness are like children who try chasing rainbows in an effort to find the pot of gold at the rainbows end...Your life will never be fulfilled until you are happy here and now. -- Ken Keyes Jr. We don’t need the perfect marriage, the perfect job, or the charm of monetary riches to feel happy, and if we think we do then we are lying to ourselves. Even if we were to attain everything on our list of goals, it would never satisfy our deeper hunger for happiness. These things are all brushed with the strokes of impermanence -- to have, but not to hold. We think that we have to work so hard to be happy, yet why should it be such a struggle? It is the struggle itself that fills us with lack, despair and the holes of missing happiness in our hearts. READ: The Lifestyle of Happiness: Why it's Not All in Your Head Anyone looking down on humanity may poke fun at our overwhelming failure at finding an innate state of happiness. We complicate many things, as it's within human nature to always be battling some kind of inner confusion, like we're constantly at war with ourselves. True happiness will always seem out of reach as long as we don’t take the time to give it real meaning, purpose, and an invitation into our present reality. Redefining our vision of happiness Today I choose life. Every morning when I wake up I can choose joy, happiness, negativity, pain... To feel the freedom that comes from being able to continue to make mistakes and choices -- today I choose to feel life, not to deny my humanity but embrace it. -- Kevyn Aucoin Instead of chasing distorted ideals of happiness based on childhood/adolescent influences or whom and what we see around us, we can seek out how we can belong to ourselves and evolve in our own spiritual sense of what joy is. We can look within and redefine our highest hopes around something less fragile and fleeting than the grandiose accomplishments we've fixed our happiness to. We can focus on what we have right now rather than what we don’t have, we can find happiness in living fully and transcending our limiting beliefs, and we can experience fulfillment when we recognize our own ability to inspire and create it -- inside. We already have the rainbow I wonder why no one ever told me that the rainbow and the treasure were both within me. -- Gerald Jampolsky For many of us, happiness has become the gold star award at the end of the road. We look at strangers' faces in pictures that seem intoxicated with merriment and we want the same for ourselves. Are those faces in pictures real, and what story do they tell? We are already inbuilt with love, meaning and worth. Happiness doesn’t lie in what we have or hold onto. It is who we choose to be right now.

Rebel, Rebel, Never Settle: Why We Must Always Reach for More
Motivation

Rebel, Rebel, Never Settle: Why We Must Always Reach for More

Why do we settle for less than we deserve when we know deep down that we are worth so much more? It’s a tough question, and the answer is certainly hidden deep beneath many layers. It’s a cold hard fact that if we do not love and value ourselves and recognize the difference we can make in the world, no one else will. We should remember that no one short-changes us, only we short-change ourselves. At some point in time we all need to make a decision. Do we continue on the path of least resistance or do we strike out and lovingly rebel against our own limiting beliefs (and those of others) that hold us back from achieving what we deserve? Never settling for less is not a self-righteous or self-absorbed stance where no one and nothing can live up to our lofty standards. We are not better than anyone else and no one else is better than us -- but we all each bathe in our own hard-won expressions of individuality. When we choose not to settle, it means we have delved deeply into the darkest places of our soul so we can magnetize our inherent wants and needs with what we wish to create or materialize into our physical world. Rebel, Rebel, Never Settle: Why We Must Always Reach for More I started my life with a single absolute: that the world was mine to shape in the image of my highest values and never to be given up to a lesser standard, no matter how long or hard the struggle. ― Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged Self-love is an act of rebellion against all that pierces our heart and sends ripples of not quite, not yet, too much or too little into our bones. It is a long and nebulous walk into rocky emotional terrain, but one that leads us back to the centre of our spirit and inner fire. It is a pilgrimage that shines a light on all the times we've allowed ourselves to accept second-best because we felt anything more was beyond our reach. Where devaluing ourselves has become the norm, loving ourselves becomes a revolutionary act. And this is what love compels us to do: to act. Rebelling against 'normal' To discover your mission and put it into action -- instead of worrying on the sidelines -- is to find peace of mind and a heart full of love. -- Scilla Elworthy ‘Normal’ is a construct of the reality we live in. It is an idea defined by the many and not by those of independent or valiant spirits. Normal provokes the fear of not fitting in, which we feel as daggers of 'not right' or 'not enough' that penetrate violently into our hearts and minds. Normal is limiting. Yet when we look around us, we see ordinary people doing extraordinary things and breaking the boundaries of what may be considered normal. Our strength lies in everything that stirs us to rise and bravely challenge the status quo. Somewhere along the way we were infiltrated with the idea that we were not enough, so we keep trying to align ourselves to the archetype of what is perceived by others as acceptable. But what if we are meant for so much more? When we begin to nurture every difference and flaw that we've camouflaged in order to keep up appearances, we find our way back to ourselves -- and learn to love each piece that comprises the whole. We are our own best-kept secret. Never settle for less than Self-love is the source of all our other loves. -- Pierre Corneille Grief, fears, and inner conflicts act like shards of glass that shatter our capacity for self-love. They all stem from notions of lack or loss -- yet we lack nothing. We can confront and combat our limiting beliefs through a limitless vine of love and a fierce commitment to all that we are. Love asks us to move from mind to heart; to stop hiding and start seeking; to renounce settling and fight for more. Our life experiences lace us with an emotional gold -- richer for all its sorrow, and wiser through all its pain. When we respect our presence and efforts, we choose to share them with those who keep our inner fire burning rather than those who attempt to extinguish it. Freedom says ‘Show up and shine’ The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion. -- Albert Camus It is the sharp stings of life as well as the sweetness that shape us into who we are. We can liberate ourselves by accepting the rough with the smooth while always remaining true to our hopes and visions. Love lives in freedom: the freedom we seek to just be, and to flow with our truth instead of fighting against it by settling for less. We are our best incentive to show up and shine; the world becomes a starless place when we conceal our own light. We can choose to act and ditch compromise through love and self-awareness, forgoing fear, submission and judgment. Nail down ‘Never settle’ as your life's goal There is no passion to be found playing small - in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living. -- Nelson Mandela (more quotes) We chase new paradigms for what we deserve based on our own raw truth that we enunciate with loving action. We can decide to emanate from unflinching principles and be the masters of what we accept, dream, and are inspired to create. Our struggle to get there is crucial to our story. This is what it means to never settle. We gild and beautify each page of hardship because without it our book loses its substance in the library of life.

Mindset Motivation: Why Embracing Your Challenges Will Intensify Your Mental Strength
Mindset

Mindset Motivation: Why Embracing Your Challenges Will Intensify Your Mental Strength

Our mindset can be our greatest ally or a dangerous enemy. We spend so much time locked inside our heads that, if we don’t develop masterful mental skills, we risk falling into a downward spiral of destructive and deceptive thoughts. The challenges we face can swiftly gather momentum, clouding the constellation of our mind and freezing us in fear. As anxiety and suspicion sweep our mind, we become so afraid to actually make decisions that every drop of power we hold to find a way forward gets diluted. When tough times are at hand we think that life is out to break and burden us, but life only seeks to empower us. We hold the mandate for our existence. The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy. - Martin Luther King, Jr (more quotes) Defeat will often appear as a giant to invade our thoughts, yet when we shut down the delusional nature of that giant, we can use its might to find a way through. Mental strength means that we use every strike against us as a reason to push ahead, every stumble as a position to rise from, and every closed door as a redirection to another entry point. We can elevate ourselves from hardship and adversity once we undertake the mental maturity to overcome it. Mental strength is not born from privilege, superiority or easy living. It is constructed and projected by the minds of those that have seen the darkest days and survived the toughest nights, yet nevertheless focused on the merit of their inner power and virtue. The muscle of our mind Mental strength is not a gift awarded to us at birth; as children, we are dominated by feelings. They act as our powerhouse for expression and a means to get what we want; temper tantrum city arises because we are innately connected to emotions rather than thoughts. Now, as adults, mental strength is something that we strive to enhance through the shadows of adversity and the profoundness of our pain. We gain strength with every obstacle we overcome that stretches our psyche to find solutions or to adapt to circumstances. Our life lessons will resound on repeat until we can establish a level of cognizance and maturity with how we frame our mindset. Rather than look upon our times of hardship as debility, attack or limitation, we can use them as a credit in our mind bank of strength. Modifying our perception of the problem can lead us to intuitive disclosures and responses when we engage the full measure of our mind to reconcile, attune, and think outside of the box. Enhancing creative vision from the inside to out As long as we give license to extrinsic factors to rule our thoughts, behaviors and actions we will always be at their mercy. We weaken our own inner resources and we suffer in our thinking when we allow our mind to constantly immerse us in what is wrong or what we feel crushed by. A messy mind creates an even bigger monster that stands over us devouring our mental resiliency. When we consciously acclimatize how we translate our thoughts, we begin to approach life and its clusters of challenges from the inside out, rather than outside in. Clarity inspires emancipation from external influence. A path towards a solution is easier to find when we channel our thoughts and matching emotions toward it instead of blocking it from our periphery. The answers that we seek often come out of the blue, yet they reside within us from the wise river of our soul - just itching to be heard and observed. The power of our mental intention What we place at the forefront of our mindset is what we have the potential to create. If we continue to align our thoughts in accordance with our struggles, our fears, then we inevitably dissipate the mental strength we need to bravely rise above them. Our mind is the conduit to our greater goals and dreams. Our desired outcome is found through the lucid window of our mental awareness and ability to absorb what hits us as an instrument for transformation and amplified intelligence. We can broaden our mental dexterity through laser-like focus, embracing each challenge, and by believing in our own intrinsic strength. Our power lies in how we intuitively respond to our difficulties and how well we can unbind ourselves from our own self-induced mental barriers - the actual circumstance itself takes second place. Through a single thought that we perpetuate and internalize we can either accomplish our biggest fear or achieve our highest hope - the choice is always ours. Flow through a stronger mindset Rigidity in our thinking serves to constrict our supreme embodiment of flow and flexibility. Thoughts and feelings will come and go. We can choose the thoughts that we stick with and the ones we wish to lovingly scrape away. Mental strength is boosted by the capacity to diligently apply ourselves to what is thrown at us. What we craft from our struggles constitutes a pyramid of strength that grows larger in volume and shape - the more we get through, the more confident and courageous we become.

The Beauty of Broken Hearts: Learning to Love and Heal Your Inner Wounds
Heartbreak

The Beauty of Broken Hearts: Learning to Love and Heal Your Inner Wounds

Feeling broken-hearted is a relatable experience -- I don’t believe anyone has ever escaped the sorrow of a heart in hurt. We may deny it as a way of shielding ourselves because there may be some small comfort in the shadow of negation. But in truth, we experience some level of heartbreak on a daily basis, even though we may not recognize it as such. Our hearts break for other people’s pain as much as our own and for the grief we inwardly feel yet find so hard to express. A heartache many of us are accustomed to is one of a love lost or unrequited. Love often hurts. And pain is something that bonds us to another with the same intensity as love -- both emotions are deeply profound and immense. We all have inner wounds that scream from the deepest recesses of our soul, and they only call to be heard and healed.The Beauty of Broken Hearts: Learning to Love and Heal your Inner Wounds I know what it's like to have a broken heart. I know what it's like to feel pain. There are a million ways to break a heart. I can relate - Diane WarrenAs human beings we have the primal power to decimate hearts as much as we have the force to love them. We may not seek to harm another -- yet we often do. Vulnerability asks that we tear away our foundations of perceived safety so that we connect to each other with open hearts; and when we do so, pain too is a card on the table because this is what it means to love. Love is a beautiful odyssey that comes with risk. We shout love from the roof tops and bury pain in a forsaken grave. We keep grief concealed and cover sadness in a blanket of denial because we just don’t want to feel pain. When we perpetuate that cycle -- we never actually heal. We have become too good at foolishly protecting our pain.The marriage of love and painThe wound is the place where the light enters you.― Jalaluddin RumiLove and pain are two sides of the same coin. We are transformed and metamorphosed by the power of them both. In pain we descend into what feels like an abyss of melancholy and in love we find redemption to ascend to great heights. How can we be fully exposed to appreciate love’s light without first being brave enough to chance pain’s darkness? We should not fear pain. It is an intrinsic part of our story and a natural vessel to the fullness of living. If we fear pain, then we essentially leave love at that same door. Pain and sorrow have the capacity to break our hearts open so that we expand our understanding and awareness of love’s infinity. Grief may tarnish our heart but love will brush it on a canvas of faith to create a greater beauty from the sorrow.Finding the beauty in broken heartsFor my part, I prefer my heart to be broken. It is so lovely, dawn-kaleidoscopic within the crack.― D.H LawrenceOur inner wounds and despair always serve our evolutionary gain. We can govern them with grace and dress them in love’s essence to find some beauty in the affliction. If we fail to find some valuable lesson then we remain tightly knit in that purgatory. We are more likely to hurt another soul if we deny the howls of our own pain that seek to be absorbed, understood, and directed for a supreme purpose. There is a reason for everything, including every shadow of heartache that sits within us. We must remember that we are not our wounds. Pain is never meant to insulate our hearts or enhance a fearful existence. The signature of what hurts us is underlined with a mark to embrace the glory of acceptance and instill fearlessness. If we allow our anguish to cushion or curb every decision we make then we have already lost the worthiness of that experience. Love does not live well or feel nourished in the oblivion of fear.Harnessing love to heal Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding. It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self. Therefore, trust the physician and drink his remedy in silence and tranquility.- Khalil Gibran We are never given any experience or circumstance without having the innate capacity to overcome it. Time is not our healer -- we are our own soul medics. Our times spent in the depth of heartbreak provide us with wisdom, humility, and the ability to penetrate our inherent truth. We synthesize ourselves through a higher love and understanding and forgo the bitterness that hurt can impel. Bitterness has nothing to offer us but further bewilderment and anxiety. When we harness love to heal, we stir our soul into a sense of harmony and consonance. Love is found in forgiveness, acceptance, and in the bounty of hope that nestles so warmly inside our heart. This love lights our way through the darkness so we can galvanize strength and compassion for ourselves and others. We can create enlightened cycles rather than remain in historic ones that are locked into harrowing repeat.When we mend, we are stronger The moment that you feel that, just possibly, you’re walking down the street naked, exposing too much of your heart and your mind and what exists on the inside, showing too much of yourself. That’s the moment you may be starting to get it right.— Neil GaimanOur mind serves to protect us from pain; our heart seeks to heal it and be stronger through it. We should not sacrifice the wisdom that pain can impart by rejecting our inner calls to heal our sense of a broken heart. Check out these quotes about love

Emotional Intelligence - What Is It and How Can It Be Developed?
Emotional Health

Emotional Intelligence - What Is It and How Can It Be Developed?

With additions by Ricky DeriszIt has been referred to as “a ground-breaking, paradigm-shattering idea” at the centre of innovation in the corporate world. It’s one of the most important additions to the conversation on self-improvement and well-being in the past ten years. It’s been described as the secret of healthy relationships and a vital skill in leaders. What is this illustrious skill? Emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence (or EQ) helps us interact with others more effectively, and us being social creatures, this makes a big difference in a lot of ways, from our level of success to even how happy we are. Unfortunately, as important as emotional intelligence may be – many of us have a low EQ. Fortunately, there’s a lot you can do to improve your emotional intelligence and how you navigate both your own emotions and critical interactions with others.Emotional intelligence is a vital skill if you’re looking to boost your chances of success, enhance your interpersonal relationships or step into (or step up within) a leadership role. Learn about the importance of emotional intelligence, and discover 7 ways to improve this valuable skill. Let’s begin.What is emotional intelligence?“Some of the greatest moments in human history were fueled by emotional intelligence.”– Adam GrantEmotional intelligence is defined as: “The capability of individuals to recognize their own emotions and those of others, discern between different feelings and label them appropriately, use emotional information to guide thinking and behaviour, and manage and/or adjust emotions to adapt to environments or achieve one’s goal(s).”The term is often abbreviated to ‘EI’ (emotional intelligence), ‘EQ’ (emotional quotient) or ‘EIQ’ (emotional intelligence quotient). Although emotional intelligence was introduced as a psychological theory by Peter Salovey and John Mayer in the early 90s, the concept rose to popularity due to Daniel Goleman’s 1995 best-seller, Emotional Intelligence. It’s an essential quality in leadership, success, and teamwork.Emotional intelligence isn’t only for the workplace — away from a professional setting, emotional intelligence is linked to greater marriage satisfaction, and long-term, sustainable relationships. It’s the ability to understand, regulate, and process your own emotions, whilst understanding others. To further understand what emotional intelligence is, Daniel Goleman breaks this down into five components:Self-awareness: The golden rule. Without awareness, it’s difficult to gain clarity on the different thoughts and emotions you experience.Self-regulation: Building upon awareness is the ability to regulate. That means not acting impulsively or getting “caught up” in emotions, and taking time to respond from a more rational perspective.Internal motivation: Linked to intrinsic motivation, this is the ability to be driven from an inner set of values, goals, and visions. These act as guiding principles ahead of external rewards.Empathy: Naturally, someone with high emotional intelligence is able to understand and empathize with others, to see their point of view, to enquire.Social skills: Emotional intelligence doesn’t stop at the individual. It benefits interpersonal relationships, improving social harmony and bonding (an example of why EQ is so important in leadership).What are some emotional intelligence examples? In a work setting, this could look like not feeling offended or becoming defensive when a colleague criticizes your workload. In an interpersonal relationship, it might look like remaining cool under pressure, noticing when you become angry or frustrated, and self-regulating before an important conversation.Notice that this isn’t just one thing, but it encompasses everything that has to do with emotions and how we deal with them both in ourselves and others. An absence of emotional intelligence leads to being reactive, being at the mercy of difficult emotions, not being fully present to the needs of others, or not understanding the needs or wants of others, all of which can prevent you from learning, growing, or moving in the right direction.How to improve emotional intelligence(Luis Alvarez / Getty)Emotional intelligence isn’t an abstract gift only a blessed few are born with, but a tangible, learnable skill. There’s no upper limit to improving emotional intelligence; it’s developed through trial and error, and very much practiced in the “heat of the moment” when faced with difficult interpersonal situations or challenging emotions.The below practices will benefit all interpersonal situations, from high-pressured leadership situations to interpersonal dynamics:1. Develop self-awarenessIf this is the golden rule, it stands to reason that self-awareness is the foundation emotional intelligence is built upon. A big part of EQ is your ability to recognize your own emotions and to tell them apart with clarity. That includes being able to perceive emotions mindfully in the present moment and to gain a deeper understanding of the wealth of feelings you experience throughout the day, rather than numb or push them away.There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to developing self-awareness. Meditation is a vital training ground, not least because it offers insight into the nature of the mind, which can then be applied to real-life situations. But it’s not the only tool in the path towards the Greek ethos of “know thyself.”I’ve found that developing self-awareness through practices like self-reflection and journaling, provides a strong foundation for understanding your inner landscape. As an additional bonus, this helps us discern the emotions of others. 2. Learn how to label and respect emotionsSelf-regulation doesn’t mean the suppression of emotions. As Carl Jung proclaimed: “What you resist not only persists, but will grow in size.'' The goal isn’t to sanitize emotions or not to feel anything, but to be in touch with them without being ruled by them. That consists of two different skills — the ability to “be with” difficult emotions, and the ability to label them in a way that creates a healthy distance from them.Both of these are developed through mindfulness. Being with difficult emotions means not attempting to run away from them when they surface, but allowing them to fulfill their natural life cycle and dissipate. This involved tuning into the different sensations in the body, slowing your breathing, taking a moment to feel, respecting their presence.The second might seem like a contradiction. To be in touch with emotions, why create distance? Well through mindfulness, you appreciate that there can be space around emotions. Labeling them, for example, “I am noticing anxiety,” creates a sense of acceptance that the emotion is present, without it becoming the totality of your experience.3. Observe thoughts and beliefsA great technique is cognitive distancing, which is a modern term for a practice that has its roots in many ancient philosophies, including Stoicism and Buddhism. Through self-awareness, you learn how to view your thoughts and beliefs, without mistaking them for truth. That means seeing how they appear, and choosing not to immediately act on them.For example, let’s say your boss overlooks a vital contribution you made in a big project during a team meeting, you start to feel angry or frustrated. Through self-awareness, you notice narratives begin to form, stories in the mind that contribute to these feelings and make the situation even worse.By becoming aware, you can step back from the loops in mind, reframe, or choose a more skillful approach. Acting upon a thought such as “my boss completely disrespected me, how dare they!” might lead to a reactive, emotional fuelled outburst. Witnessing this thought, before stepping back and reframing, gives space to choose a different approach. You might self-regulate and ask your boss for a one-on-one discussion, where you explain your disappointment in a balanced way.In observing thoughts clearly, you develop an appreciation that they don’t have to be taken as seriously. Many are based on assumptions, insecurity, or negative ruminations.4. Learn from observing others(Hinterhaus Productions / Getty)For this method, turn outward to work on discerning the emotions of others. I want you to visit a coffee shop, mall, or some other busy public place where people will (likely) never notice that you’re discreetly watching them. Specifically, I want you to search out two people who are having a conversation and try to discern what emotions they’re feeling as they go about their conversation.This might sound weird at first, however, learning to read the emotions of others is an important part of emotional intelligence, and watching others converse can help you develop the ability to detect various emotions on others’ faces and in their body language.5. Self-Evaluate by asking yourself powerful questionsJournaling was mentioned above as a tool for developing self-awareness, but what’s a practical application? One way of journaling for emotional intelligence is to evaluate your thoughts, emotions, and actions. This requires self-honesty. The blank page of a journal is a chance for the truth to surface, if you allow it.Ask yourself powerful questions. How do you act around others? Do you lose your cool or jump to conclusions? Do you judge others harshly? Do you focus on getting your point of view across ahead of making an effort to understand where others are coming from? Do your emotions cause you to shrink or puff your ego?Journaling in this way isn’t easy, because it forces you to confront yourself. But by exploring these aspects of yourself on the page, you’re able to create clarity, know which areas require work, and slowly start to make changes in the future.6. Practice mindful communicationMindful communication is the practice of being fully present to interacting with others. This includes awareness of your thoughts and emotions, and being present to the person directly in front of you. The tenets of mindfulness — non-judgment, receptivity, curiosity, and compassion — are extended to social interactions. This applies to listening and speaking.“Listening is one of our greatest personal natural resources, yet it is by far one of our most undeveloped abilities,” Rebecca Sharif writes in the Zen of Listening. Deep listening is a mindful practice in itself. So often we wait our turn to speak. Instead, consider, what emotions are they exhibiting? What words are they using? How else (perhaps physically) are they expressing themselves? Learning to identify these signs is a huge part of emotional intelligence.The second effort is mindful speech. This is about being in tune with your own emotions while in conversation with another and how your words can and do impact them. Self-awareness and self-regulation play a big role here. Before speaking, consider where you’re talking from, and what impact your words might have, especially if responsible for leading a group of people.7. Change your perspectiveLastly, practicing a little change of perspective can help you develop your emotional intelligence in a different, more indirect way. By changing your perspective, I’m referring to changing your frame of reference when interacting with yourself and others.The way we look at ourselves and the world around us is affected by various internal beliefs. It’s the perspective we go about life with and it influences everything we do. However, if you practice asking questions like, “is there another way to look at this?”, you can often unearth a new way to see things, both within yourself and with others. This especially helps identify things you hadn’t noticed before and leads to a better understanding of what others might be feeling.In conclusion - Developing emotional intelligence is a processEmotional intelligence is a critical skill that helps us move about life in a more effective way, from handling our own emotions to interacting with others. Invest time into improving your own EQ to take advantage of this invaluable skill to move your life and career forward.The benefits of emotional intelligence are far-reaching. Feeling confident in your ability to self-regulate, you’re more likely to take chances. Being aware of yourself, you’re more in tune with what you want from life. With greater empathy, you’re able to cultivate deeper intimacy in personal relationships. And, in combination, you’re more likely to successfully lead others.There’s no exam for emotional intelligence. There’s no score or grade. Instead, it’s a skill best approached as an ever-evolving, life-long practice. Every moment in life provides an opportunity to become more aware, more compassionate, more empathetic, and more in tune with ourselves, others, and the world around us.

Rising to Your Purpose Through the Power of Passion and Possibility
Purpose

Rising to Your Purpose Through the Power of Passion and Possibility

Our purpose can seem elusive and intangible to us, yet many of us are driven to find it, because it brings meaning and definition to our lives. It makes all the struggle, chaos, and confusion worth it in the end, and affirms our value. But the truth is we do not need to focus so intently on finding our reason for being in order to validate our self-worth. We just need to follow our hearts; we are already born worthy. Our universal purpose lies in being who we sincerely are, in bringing warmth, love, understanding and laughter to others along the way, and in all we bravely seek to create. We can ask ourselves a question, “how many hearts can we raise, uplift, and ignite through the power and attraction of our own?” Rising to Your Purpose Through the Power of Passion and Possibility Passion is energy. Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you. -- Oprah Winfrey (more quotes) Passion is our inner flame of wanting, craving, and deep yearning. It is an energy of action that lights us up from the inside -- our hearts trying to gain our attention. It needs to be heard and heeded. When we dull the surge of that call, we move further away from what our soul desires. We do not need to explain what we are magnetically drawn to, not to ourselves or others -- we should not attempt to dissect and deflate desire. Instead, we trust the rush of that energy to lead our way forward. READ: How to Follow Your Heart and Live Your Personal Legend The journey to our true calling is the journey of our self-discovery -- to our authenticity, innate creativity, and natural talents. When we tap into our inner dynamism and truly master the art of following our heart we begin to view life through a different lens. We disengage with mind clutter, foreboding and fears, and we enter a liberating space where our inner voice speaks to us through coherent and crystal-clear speech. We listen tentatively because we have learned to trust that tug from within. The call of passion I am here for a purpose and that purpose is to grow into a mountain, not to shrink to a grain of sand. Henceforth will I apply all my efforts to become the highest mountain of all and I will strain my potential until it cries for mercy. -- Og Mandino When we are guided by love, curiosity, and enthusiasm we carve a path forward toward the picture of what may be; these are the architects of our dreams. We unlock our potential by pushing back the limits that we set for ourselves. Our purpose may not be something that inspires great and super-quick monetary gain; it is not a dream or vision we sculpt for selfish or egoistic reasons. It is our magnanimous offering to ourselves and the universe; it is embracing our gifts so we can share them with others. When we are driven by financial gain, we frequently lose. We end up stripping back at our possibilities when they are defined by external measures. However, when we're focused on what we can give rather than receive, we find a new path that aligns with a more wholesome and altruistic way of existing. It is the call of our passion that drives us to climb the highest mountains and reach the tallest heights. It is the call of our passion to meet our supreme cause and to take the risks in order to reap the commendable rewards. Where your passion meets your talents The starting point of discovering who you are, your gifts, your talents, your dreams, is being comfortable with yourself. Spend time alone. Write in a journal. Take long walks in the woods. -- Robin S. Sharma Our deepest purpose is often found where our flares of passion meet our talents. Together they embolden us and stir us into action. When we perplex and bewilder ourselves by trying to find our purpose, we generate more mental disharmony and emotional turmoil. We look at other people and wonder how they are living their dream when we are yet to realize ours. In doing this, we set ourselves adrift from our true centre and lose sight of our own unique path. In simplicity there is a subtle strength: we can refine rather than pollute our minds with tangled thinking. READ: Why Looking for Your Purpose Is Crushing You (and What to Do About It) Very often we can fall into our purpose by accident. The push that steers us toward one dream might indirectly lead us to something more meaningful. Or we may find our passion meets our talents in the form of something that we loved to do as a child but as an adult had long since forgotten. Perhaps we accept a job opportunity that at first does not look like it will amount to anything fulfilling, only to find that it is the perfect fit. The possibilities are endless as long as we keep living for them rather than the guarantees. As Rumi said, what we are seeking is often seeking us too. Exploring our full potential Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams. -- Ashley Smith We never miss out on anything when we focus on experiencing the full promise and escapades of life. It is an exploration of truth, beauty, pain and sorrow, and all the ephemeral joys that create enduring memories. The gifts we have are open for our discovery when we look within for each spark of passion, and each prospect of chance that finds its way to us. READ: Finding Your Why: How to Discover Your Professional Purpose We are strengthened by all we feel makes us weak, and fused together by everything we fear may tear us apart. Our potential is unlimited, boundless, and immense, and only we can accept all it holds. Keeping our hearts wide open Put your heart, mind, and soul into even your smallest acts. This is the secret of success. -- Swami Sivananda We can find our bliss when we follow our passion and wire ourselves to create. This is how we learn to settle into our skin. We fuel ourselves with the wonder of our full potential and what pumps a wakeful beat to our heart -- this is how we rise to our monumental talents. The journey to our purpose is an adventure through mysterious lands: we may walk toward it with our eyes closed, but always with our hearts wide open.

A Symphony of Strength: Discover Your Inner Power to Come Back Stronger
Self-Development

A Symphony of Strength: Discover Your Inner Power to Come Back Stronger

Inner strength is a powerful and intelligent force of calmness, emotional composure, and focus. It is not a harsh or abrasive energy that hits out at life’s cuts and curveballs, but runs gently like a river of resilience through our veins. Our inner strength is sculpted from the ashes of every struggle and painful arrow to our hearts. We augment our inner strength by trusting in everything that we have stored within: a karmic bind to the strength of our soul which rises ever beautiful from the flames of failure and the darkness of despair. Inner strength says, I do not fear the fall, for I know I shall rise, I do not deny the failure, for I know I can overcome, I do not pray for an easy tide of life, for I know I have been built to rise above each tumultuous wave. Inner strength speaks an eloquence that burns through the fire with a deeper vision that sees far beyond the flames. A Symphony of Strength: Discover Your Inner Power to Come Back Stronger In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer. And that makes me happy. For it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there’s something stronger – something better, pushing right back. – Albert Camus We are all uniquely carved with every inner tool and measure of fortitude we will need to accelerate past challenges and become stronger. We all have our own internal symphony of strength -- a great rhapsody of hope and endurance. The mountains before us are meant to be climbed, and our winters of woe inspire the wellsprings of renewal that allow us to surmount the arduous hills. What resides within is our inner power to advance with resolve, embracing our strength of patience and adaptability to charge a way forward when all may seem lost. Inner strength writes the story of our strategy, with pages of courage that outweigh the force, depth or gravity of anything extrinsic. When we dig deep to the threshold of our inner strength we begin to unravel the might of our mental, emotional, and spiritual dynamism, valor and nerve. Our hero within says that no matter what goes on around us, what we have inside is far more rugged, cognizant and impermeable. A hero knows how to hold on a little while longer to come back that much stronger. Acceptance and accountability Acceptance looks like a passive state, but in reality it brings something entirely new into this world. That peace, a subtle energy vibration, is consciousness. - Eckhart Tolle Acceptance of any situation places the power to change it in our own hands. When we act, we do so from a place of acceptance and accountability, with a door opened wide to engage in new perspectives and purpose. The humility to accept rests on the bed of our deeper intelligence. It takes great bravery and grit to embrace and yield to a tough circumstance in order to shape a way through it. Acceptance surveys and quantifies a situation with emotional insight and mental clarity. It releases us from the grip of an external hold, to bring us back in touch with our inner sensitivity and strength. Through acceptance we can seek the conscious calm away from the storm. We arm ourselves with the potential to stretch out our thoughts and feelings and to be supremely guided by the power and persuasion of our intuition and higher thinking. Understanding our propensity to adapt initiates us to make good and gain from impactful trials and challenges. When we wrestle with life’s hits, greater obstacles are erected on our path and we make poor decisions as we fight from fear rather than from faith. Yet when we accept our struggles, we claim back our innate capacity to surpass them. In doing so, we navigate to a place of humility; we expand our heart-space as we implicitly trust our infinite resources to see us through. A symphony of strength The successful warrior is the average man, with laser-like focus. – Bruce Lee Obstacles and challenges allow us to feed into our visceral strength. We often get stuck in the rigidity of circumstance and lose sight of our lionhearted poise and the sound of our inner voice. Yet when we move away from our perceived limits and fears, we can transcend them. Nothing is ever fixed or set in stone; failures and dark times are garnered by the same tokens of nature’s impermanence. Just as we transition from the cold nights of winter to welcome in the warmer hues of spring, we are gifted to trace a new trajectory to evolve through tough times. We can remember that a self-assured warrior sits within us all -- we hear the wise echoes that resound in the vitality of our strong and stubborn hearts. When we focus on that energy that we have forged within, we materialize a higher vision of hope and steady self-belief. We can use every circumstance to inspire an inner engine of perseverance and passion. We should not allow the voice of fear to breed mistrust -- trust compels our hearts to kindle so we become our own worthy heroes. Coming back stronger If you're an underdog, if you don't fit in, if you're not as pretty as the others, you can still be a hero. - Steve Guttenberg Stories of underdogs that win against all odds nourish our hearts with hope. These are the people that no one believed in; the ones who were betrayed and bruised yet never gave in to naysayers or dark intentions. Underdogs teach us that the comeback is far greater than the setback, and that what hits us can also bless us with an electric artillery of muscle and stamina that allows us to go the distance. The push of anything external cannot contend with the weight of what lives within. The shape of the underdog, the dark horse, or the total long-shot is conjured by their own design of persistence and endurance. Like a pane of unbreakable glass they withstand life’s biggest knocks, utilizing every bet against them as a chance to reinforce their steel-like will. We can learn so much from the beauty of the underdog, but most of all we can learn to trust ourselves to come back stronger -- no matter what. Believe in your symphony of strength A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles. - Christopher Reeve Life is never meant to break us. For much of the time we only scratch the surface of our inner resources. There is so much more to delve into. We can indulge in rather than deny our challenges, knowing that we always have the amplitude to gather our greatness through them. The symphony of our strength is as loud as a lion's roar, yet as subtle as the purr of a pussycat.

Stay Gold: Recovering the Wonder and Courage of Your Inner Child
Purpose

Stay Gold: Recovering the Wonder and Courage of Your Inner Child

I can recall everything that I loved as a young girl and all the things that fired me up from the pit of my belly. My soul gravitated to all things ethereal, magical and mysterious; I looked up to the celestial imprints of stars and planets in the skies, and my eyes glazed over with a deep and profound affection. I loved words, music and people. I held a great passion for films and stories of underdogs that won against all odds, and for superheroes and loners who fought for justice and the greater good. To me, it was not make-believe -- it was my reality, and what naturally resonated with me. Those chords of enthusiasm and passion were like the clearest echo of a bell through my mind, sparking an explosion of curiosity that burned brightly from my heart. The things that ignited us as children remain as pictures in our mind, and as vibrations in our hearts. I am all these things I loved. I am still this young girl. No matter what was going on in my external world, I had created my own inner world that I could withdraw to, and I still do. The inner weave of our talents and passions as children remains etched into our hearts. We can transport ourselves back there at any time -- we need only remember that golden essence of purity, adventure, curiosity, and the undistilled magic that survives within us all. Stay Gold: Recovering the Wonder and Courage of Your Inner Child Nature's first green is gold, her hardest hue to hold. Her early leaf's a flower; But only so an hour. Then leaf subsides to leaf. So Eden sank to grief, So dawn goes down today. Nothing gold can stay. - Robert Frost, Nothing Gold Can Stay Our inner child is our connection to our untapped potential, imagination, and innate charm. The elemental nature of who we are thrives on love, wonder, and an instinctive devotion to all things and experiences that warm our heart and ignite our interest. Yet somewhere along the way, our inner child loses its voice. It becomes hushed by harsh challenges, life’s setbacks, and the inevitable seriousness that being an adult brings. We lose the beauty of that golden intention as children to live for now, find charisma and appeal in the simplest of things, and rise up relentlessly after each stumble or fall, with even greater confidence than before. The wild and wonderful colors of our inner child are the hardest to hold onto. They are our hues of gold. We deny and disguise our soft edges, open-mindedness, and bursting hearts in favor of a defensive armor that we use as protection from the world around us. Yet when we reflect with greater clarity and wisdom back to the beauty of our inner child, we find that they are in fact our greatest ally and the essential truth of who we are -- and who we will always be when we choose to stay gold. Our challenge to stay gold A grownup is a child with layers on. - Woody Harrelson We create and construct layers to stay safe and unharmed from what very often feels like a very cruel existence. We are dosed with pain, failure, sorrow, and great mountains to climb, so it is only natural that we will endeavor to protect ourselves any way we can. We use filters in our minds and place blankets upon our hearts, and we darken the color of our souls with every heartbreak and hurt we endure. We lock ourselves in, yet our inner child holds the key to our liberation from life’s frustrations. Tough times call upon our reserves of inner strength for us to dig a way through. However, when we actually begin to deconstruct the mental walls we've built up, we intelligently devise a route back to a much greater source of strength and courage: that of our inner child. Our inner child is imbued with the beauty of vulnerability, the fierceness of love, and the bravery to be bold and take chances. Layers don’t keep the pain, sorrow and hard times away; they only keep them chained in. The essence of our inner child He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe is as good as dead; his eyes are closed. - Albert Einstein (more quotes) Creativity is born from our brain's intuitive processes -- something that our inner child is the master of. Who we are at heart is the best person to design our authentic path and paint our future with eyes wide open to life's infinite possibilities. Our potential knows no bounds -- it is us who cage our inner talents and passions deep inside us. We inadvertently crush the flowers of our enthusiasm when we overwhelm our natural gifts with artificial logic and limits. Our inner child lives and breathes from the heart, defying logic every step of the way. When we tap back into our heart-space of creativity, possibility, and the inherent newness that we are blessed with the capacity to create, then the seeds of our potential can begin to be sown. We begin to view life through a lens of wonder rather than woe -- magical, through every mistake, mishap, and misjudgement. When we calm our minds, we can feel our hearts. Fearless and free Children have neither past nor future; they enjoy the present, which very few of us do. - Jean de la Bruyere There is an invincibility that sits within us all. It’s a fiery impulse of fearlessness, courage, persistence, and inner grit. This is the golden touch of our inner child; climbing mountains for the sheer adventure of the peek, and getting back up defiantly after every fall without a second thought. There is a great freedom in knowing that no matter what takes you down, you will always get back up; and to do so while remaining propelled and enchanted rather than hardened and resentful of life’s many hits. We should not fear our falls, because we get stronger and more confident after each one. We should not be afraid at the height and magnitude of what we dream to pursue, because our journey is what makes reaching the top extra special. And we should not fear the darkness of despair, for we are the masters who decide where to shine our light. Remember who you are You are as young as your self-confidence, as old as your fears; as young as your hope, as old as your despair. - Samuel Ullman The child within is our wise guide, faithful friend and eternal hope. They rest within our heart, and we find them by heeding the call of what we love. It is a place to which we can always return, to remind ourselves of our innate ability to defy fearful living and keep reaching for the best vistas in life -- a place where we can choose to stay gold.

When You Lose, You Win: The Power of Perseverance and Pursuing Your Dreams
Motivation

When You Lose, You Win: The Power of Perseverance and Pursuing Your Dreams

Our dreams are the life-blood of our existence. Our dreams and aspirations fuel us with purpose, focus, and a deeper meaning -- inspiring us to share our gifts to the world. What we desire to create warms our heart, fires up our resolve, and clarifies our mind through an esteemed vision we caress within. Everything begins at first as a seed, a bud that we nurture to full blossom. Through the mosaic of our minds we are given divine flashes of insight and sparks of poetic beauty that we get to mold and shape. Our dreams are a reflection of who we are at our most brave and courageous. The journey to our dreams and grand ambitions are often fraught with failure, hardship, and inner discord as we strive to make something real out of what begins as a lucid impression in our minds, and a yearning in our hearts. This is where the true test of our inner grit and resiliency begins to unfold -- where we can choose to go all the way, or not at all. Our dreams demand wholehearted and emphatic efforts, testing us all the way, yet whispering through the quiet recesses of our innermost being to just go the distance. When You Lose, You Win: The Power of Perseverance and Pursuing Your Dreams The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. - Eleanor Roosevelt (more quotes) Against all odds we can bring to fruition what only we can see and deeply feel. There are no short cuts, easy ways out, or a well-worn path to our innermost intentions. Ultimately we should expect a long and arduous route rather than a walk in the park. Perseverance reminds us of how hungry we are to reach our highest hopes; the picture of our dream promenades its glory through the windows of our mind and provokes within us a craving for its taste. The passageway to our loving desiderata and oasis of dreams is largely inconvenient, deeply uncomfortable and painstakingly difficult. However, through it all we can find that each apparent defeat is tempered with a chance for success. When we lose, we can choose to win. We can win the lesson of the struggle and channel our frustrations into an even greater drive toward our aims. Faith over fear Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life. - Steve Jobs (more quotes) Dreams need action, devotion, and unwavering faith. Our fears are simply there to expose something that we have hidden within; they call to us for a reason. Instead of trying to shadow box, double-cross or bluff our fears we can choose to liberate and learn from them so we can consciously move through them. Fear blocks us from faith and keep us rooted to what keeps us afraid. As we tentatively loosen those chains we free up a space for faith to shine its light. We can use each worry, failure, and misjudgement to move us forward valiantly instead of paralyzing us. We can implicitly trust in our vision and all we have stored in the sentiments of our soul. We will never know the full power of our natural ability until it has been worked through by adversity, loss, and difficulty. We are stronger through our fears, wiser from our mistakes, and braver after our battles. We can choose faith over fear. The power of commitment Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans. - Peter F. Drucker Motivation towards our dreams and higher intentions may falter and fade; essentially worn down by the hard task of dealing with inevitable challenges and distractions. Commitment is the glue that galvanises our motivation, allowing us to press ahead with integrity and fervor. Motivation is the spark that gets us started, yet it is our commitment that builds the foundation of our goals and crystallizes our vision within a cartridge of conviction. It is a rock solid promise, a "no matter what" way of thinking. It is what pulls us up each time we fall as we dust off the dirt from the ground. The power of commitment lies in captivation, diligence and accountability. It is the golden handshake to the manifestation of our dreams and ambitions. In conversation with your inner desires, commitment and integrity, sweetly and acquiescently say,"I believe in you, no matter what." Persevere, and flow like water Water does not resist. Water flows. When you plunge your hand into it, all you feel is a caress. Water is not a solid wall, it will not stop you. But water always goes where it wants to go, and nothing in the end can stand against it. Water is patient. Dripping water wears away a stone. Remember that, my child. Remember you are half water. If you can't go through an obstacle, go around it. Water does. - Margaret Atwood, The Penelopiad Too often we can lose ourselves and our higher visions as we batter with life’s trials and obstacles that appear before us. Extrinsic forces that we allow to penetrate our hopes and aspirations cause friction within us and lead us to lose control. Yet when we focus on our inner compass for wisdom, guidance, and intuition, we can form a clearer perspective outside of external constraints. Perseverance is our non-combative propeller. She patiently pursues and cultivates through an inner strength, fluidity, and sophisticated seniority. She hugs each tight bend, flows over and through each obstacle, and shapes herself to what lies ahead. When we reach for our dreams and greater goals, we can choose where we direct our energy; we can determine the flow of our faith and enterprise as we cascade towards our victory. Patience and perseverance turn the external ticking clock into an inner pendulum of quintessential timing -- responding rather than reacting, and flowing instead of fighting. The value of perseverance in pursuing our dreams The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it. - Henry David Thoreau Our dreams and goals are delicately sculpted by a fierce and spirited love and determined by our passionate and faithful pursuance. Every loss along the way can fortify an admirable tenacity to keep on striving. Our dreams are our priceless pledges to ourselves for everything we deeply know that we are worth -- inspired by what we know we can give. When we attach value, virtue and veracity to the incipient flower conceived in the beauty of our mind's eye, we powerfully charge her exaltation from conception to absolute life.