Body Image: How to Overcome Body Image Issues
What is Body Image? According to Oxford Languages, body image is the subjective picture or mental image of one's own body. By itself, body image is a neutral term, and doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with low self esteem. It simply describes how you perceive your body and present it to the world. You can have positive, negative, or mixed feelings about your body image or appearance. Why is Positive Body Image Important? A person’s body image is an important thing because, for one, we don’t live in a vacuum. Body image is complex, both psychologically and societally, especially in the age of social media. In a society that’s extremely “plugged in” and within which we’re heavily influenced by everything from billboards to instagram stories, it can be difficult to determine your feelings about something, even if that something is as personal as your own body. We’ve been conditioned to have specific ideas about what it means to be attractive or fit, and these ideas don’t represent what everyone finds attractive. After all, cultural norms and personal preferences shift and change from year to year, and from century to century. More importantly, the images we’re inundated with often don’t represent what’s healthy or even attainable for most people. Unfortunately, we may find ourselves internalizing these messages, leading to a skewed perception of how we “should” exist in the world, and of what steps we “should” take to make ourselves presentable, leading to some form of body image disturbance, or body image dissatisfaction. Do We Need to Be “Beach Body Ready?”A perfect example are the ad campaigns that begin running in spring, which ask “Are you beach body ready?” If you have a body and you go to the beach, you already have a beach body! Unfortunately, marketing campaigns push a “healthy weight” associated with a beach-goer in order to advertise something - a weight loss supplement, an exercise program, or swimsuits that “hide problem areas.”Sure, we’d all like to be our best selves at the beach, but one’s body doesn’t have to match what you see on tv or the internet. Who decided that those best selves must be three sizes smaller, shaven smooth, and show nary a wrinkle or hint of cellulite? Clearly, the ad executives who want to sell products. But the problem of a select few body types being displayed and accepted is broader than a couple marketing departments. The human body is unique, and your own appearance, image and self esteem don’t have to be tied to the idea of being in Olympic-caliber shape.Our society as a whole - and we as individuals - often participate in sustaining these perspectives, whether consciously or unconsciously, and the process often starts when we are young children, before we’re equipped to handle it. They want us to lose weight, cut pounds, and engage in “eating healthy,” even to our own detriment over the long term.The question is, how do we recognize body image issues, and what can we do about them?The Dangers of Negative Body ImageToo often, we focus on characteristics of ourselves that we find displeasing, unattractive, or frustrating. If you’ve ever looked in the mirror and thought your hips look “too big,” or if you’ve spotted a pimple and thought “my face is disgusting,” then you’ve wrestled with negative feelings regarding your body image. Body image and self acceptance are tied together.These disruptive thoughts may come and go, but if they seem frequent or persistent despite efforts to counter them, you may internalize those feelings and tie your self-worth to your appearance. The resulting low self esteem can have wide-ranging impacts on your health and overall happiness, as numerous studies show that negative body image is correlated with a higher risk of behaviors like disordered eating (such as anorexia or bulimia), mental health issues like depression.In fact, if you’re constantly obsessing about an aspect of your physical appearance, you may have body dysmorphic disorder (BDD), sometimes referred to as body dysmorphia. Body Dysmorphia DisorderThe Mayo Clinic defines BDD as “a mental health disorder in which you can’t stop thinking about one or more perceived defects or flaws in your appearance - a flaw that appears minor or can’t be seen by others.” This disorder is characterized by behaviors like frequently checking yourself in mirrors, repeatedly attempting to “fix” the perceived flaw, seeking reassurance from others, or even undergoing procedures like cosmetic surgery.(EVOK/M.Poehlman/Getty)While approximately 1 in 50 people (about 2% of the population) experience body dysmorphia according to the Cleveland Clinic, or general body dissatisfaction affects most people at some point in their lives, and it’s important to find ways to appreciate yourself and what your body does for you regardless of your appearance. Below we’ll discuss how to cultivate a healthier attitude of body positivity, which can lead to a better body image, a greater degree of self esteem, and improve body image to the point that you can accept that you have the perfect body, no matter your shape. (*If you think you may be struggling with certain issues mentioned above, such as an eating disorder or BDD, we recommend seeking professional help from a therapist or counsellor.)How to Overcome Poor Body ImagePsychology Today notes that we can begin to have thoughts and opinions about our bodies when we’re only three years old, which means that adults present in our lives at that young age influence how we view ourselves and our own bodies. Studies have demonstrated that a lack of social support from parents is associated with body dissatisfaction in young adolescents (Helfert and Warschburger 2011), and the negative effects of this criticism follow us into adulthood. For example, weight-bias and fat-shaming have been shown to actually increase weight-gain, rather than curb it. In fact, the effects of weight-bias and a body shame culture are compounded in a person’s life when they internalize negative messages about themselves. One study even demonstrated that people who were more self-critical had triple the odds of a metabolic disorder diagnosis (Vogel 2019). This means that it’s essential for your overall health and wellbeing to work on not simply accepting, but truly appreciating your body. Self love can keep you healthy! How to Jumpstart Your Journey to Body Confidence:1. Recognize Negative ThoughtsNegative thoughts are insidious - initially, you may not realize your internal dialogue is critical. Take note of what you’re thinking and feeling when you get dressed, look at yourself in the mirror, or feel the urge to cover-up at the gym. Work on being objective by removing opinions or words with bad connotations from your self-talk as much as possible. Pro tip: If you wouldn’t say it to a friend, don’t say it to yourself!2. Refocus Self-TalkOnce you’ve learned to identify critical thoughts, begin working to replace them with positive attributes. This may be hard initially, particularly if you feel negatively about more than one physical characteristic. Reframe your self analysis to identify what your motive is for criticizing yourself in the first place, and then focus on the purpose of your body and its abilities.Does it get you from place to place? Does it help you create art? If you’re struggling to remember positives throughout the day, write affirmations on sticky notes; writing and reading affirmations ground you, and boost self esteem.3. Avoid ComparisonsIt’s hard to avoid the type of media images that reinforce the idea that there are “ideal” body types, which other people have and you don’t. As a psychologist from the Cleveland Clinic, Ninoska Petersen says, “You can be reading a magazine and on one page there’s an article about how to love yourself the way you are, and then you flip the page and there’s an ad for a diet plan or an anti-aging cream.” Remember that what you see on TV, in ads, and on instagram influencers’ feeds is not necessarily real. Photoshop exists, filters exist, and people are trying hard to look perfect for the camera - don’t compare yourself to unrealistic standards! 4. Keep Body-Positive CompanyThose closest to us influence how we view ourselves, so surround yourself with supportive people who appreciate you exactly as you are. While there’s nothing wrong with wanting to exercise more to feel healthier or wanting to try a new moisturizer to smooth a few wrinkles, ensure you’re not doing these things because you feel pressured to keep up with trendy friends or critical family. Especially if you have a larger body, keeping positive company will help you develop a better relationship with your body image and reduce self consciousness, particularly if you’re able to find people who relate to your body image concerns. 5. Do Things You LoveYes, this sounds extremely cheesy. But it’s legitimate advice - focusing on attaining an ideal physique is not going to help you achieve self-actualization. Enjoying life and committing to activities or causes you feel strongly about are what will help you reach your potential. There’s no time for fat talk and the thin ideal, no time for restrictive eating or letting the unhealthy fashion industry push you into eating behaviors or thought patterns that make you feel inadequate. If you’re not sure what you love, try things out - remember that your body is only one part of you, not the sum total, and it’s your experiences that make you whole.ConclusionThe takeaway from this discussion is that wrestling with both male and female body image problems can certainly be difficult, but it isn’t unusual - almost everyone will struggle with some kind of body dissatisfaction at some point in their lifetime. However, negative perceptions of your appearance don’t have to weigh you down, and they shouldn’t keep you from doing what you love. We’re here to experience everything the world has to offer, and it’s hard to do that if you have to yell over the sound of your own self-critical monologue. Think about what you want to achieve in life, and then ensure that every day you’re working to build yourself up, rather than tear yourself down.
Communication Skills: Why They’re Important
How much of your daily time is spent communicating with someone, in some form or another? While the landscapes of our lives have changed since the 1960s, psychological studies conducted during that period indicate that most people spend between 50-80% of their waking hours communicating with others. No wonder good communication skills are important! With the advent of increasingly complex technology, we now have constant access to a multitude of communication methods, ranging from a typical phone call with some other person to illustrative memes passed from colleague to colleague through Slack. And, since there are smartphones in the hands of 3.5 billion people around the world - nearly half the world’s population - we are rarely ever “out of pocket” or unreachable. Given the immense role that social connection plays in our daily lives, developing the ability to communicate effectively is an extremely worthwhile endeavor, and one that can help you realize goals in your personal and professional life. Why are good communication skills so important?Communication is defined by the Oxford English Dictionary as “the transmission or exchange of information, knowledge, or ideas by means of speech, writing, mechanical or electrical media.” Put simply, communication is how we interact with, and relate to, other people, and this include nonverbal communication.To uncover communication’s importance, we need to look at its evolution - how and why it developed in humans, rather than in other animal species. Michael Tomasello, a prolific and widely lauded developmental and comparative psychologist, attributes the evolution of advanced communication in humans to the unique nature of our species: “…the most fundamental aspects of human communication are seen as biological adaptations for cooperation and social interaction in general…The ability to create common conceptual ground - joint attention, shared experience, common cultural knowledge — is an absolutely critical dimension of all human communication.” (Thomasello 2008)In short, our tendency to create social groups within which individuals rely upon one another generated a need for strong communication skills - a way of passing around information. Tomasello specifically posits that human communication began with simple gestures like pointing, developed further by incorporating sounds and visual representations (think cave paintings), and finally blossomed into speech and complex language. Although an entire field of study called Evolutionary Anthropology is devoted to these and similar topics, the takeaway here is that communication skills, initially developed because they increased the human species’ odds of survival, are still critically important in our day-to-day lives. While we may not be signaling the presence of a predator to others in our social circle, we rely on communication to deepen relationships with family and friends, and to find success in our professional lives. What exactly are communication skills?It’s likely you’ve sat through a meeting where the presenter’s monotonous voice or their convoluted explanations nearly sent you to sleep. That speaker’s poor communication skills affected you, their audience; speaking clearly, concisely, and with an engaging manner are all skills that can be learned. As the above example demonstrates, communication skills are not simply about speaking a language fluently or writing well - they’re abilities that enable you to be an effective communicator by ensuring that your audience understands the information you’re trying to convey.While there’s an immense diversity of communication forms around the world - nearly 7,000 languages were documented globally in 2009 (Ethnologue) - methods of communication are typically sorted into three main types: verbal, non-verbal, and written. We’ll use these categories to discuss specific communication skills and how to improve them below.Verbal communication (Luis Alvarez / Getty)Typically when you hear “communication,” your first thought is speech. Verbal communication is just that - spoken language used to convey information and meaning during interactions. As noted above, there are thousands of distinct languages distributed across the globe, with many people learning and using more than one during their lifetimes, or even daily. For much of our species’ history, verbal communication was limited to face-to-face interactions within a tightly-knit social group. As electricity and subsequent technologies dependent upon it were invented, verbal communication expanded widely beyond direct physical interaction. Today, verbal communication can refer to the following:Face-to-face communication: when you’re able to see your conversational partner. Face-to-face communication can occur either in close physical proximity to others or, as is increasingly common, via video conferencing software like Zoom or FaceTime.Vocal communication: information transferred verbally through a medium. While video conferencing has become more ubiquitous, we still frequently rely on solely vocal methods of communication like phone calls or recorded voice messages. Non-verbal communicationWhen we speak with someone, we’re not simply listening to words in a vacuum - we’re also picking up on non-verbal cues from one another that provide context, giving the words themselves intention and depth. Types of non-verbal communication include:Body language: Any movement or gesture exhibited by an individual’s body in the midst of communication. Your posture, demeanor, and hand gestures send signals about your level of confidence, your interest in the discussion, or your feelings about your conversational partners. Confident body language is important!For instance, as an audience member at a conference, movements like slouching, crossing your arms, or resting your head in your hand can indicate that you’re not invested in the presentation. In contrast, sitting up straight, nodding at appropriate moments, and taking notes demonstrates a willingness to engage with the subject matter. Facial expressions: How an individual’s face moves and what social or cultural cues the resulting expressions signal to others. As a species, our faces are uniquely expressive, and are an essential component of face-to-face communication. We demonstrate internal emotions very clearly through facial gestures like eyebrow raises or frowns, allowing others to sense how we’re feeling without requiring vocalization.Eye-contact: Looking your conversational partner in the eyes while you communicate. Meeting the gaze of someone during conversation does not mean a visual stand-off; rather, when you gently maintain eye contact, it demonstrates an interest in the discussion and shows respect* for your conversational partner. (*Eye-contact can be complex if you’re neuro-divergent and experience ADHD or autism; in these cases, a lack of eye-contact does not indicate a lack of respect. If you have one of these conditions and are interested in increasing your ability to make eye contact, try working with a behavioral therapist.)Written communicationWritten communication is self-explanatory: it’s any exchange of information written by hand, typed or transcribed. While today we’re used to instantaneous digital communication, this form of conversing has only existed for a comparatively short period of human history: our species evolved 200,000 years ago, whereas electronic communication was only introduced in the mid-1800s with the telegram. This highlights how rapidly human communication can evolve, and today some linguistic studies center around specific conventions that set things like tweets apart from other types of writing.This is to say that regardless of how a written message is delivered, writing itself is complex, and it can require a significant amount of knowledge and skill to be used effectively. As such, in our improvement section, we’ll cover broad approaches to improving your writing skills in your professional life. How to become an effective communicatorDo you want to develop truly excellent communication skills? We’ll address actionable steps for improvement shortly, but first, let’s revisit the subject we addressed in the introduction - if your communication skills have seemed just fine, thanks up until now, what’s the point of examining yourself under a microscope? Here are some benefits of putting in the hard work to become a good communicator: Improve confidence: Communication is the thread that ties society together. Being able to convey your ideas and opinions effectively allows you to express and be recognized for other innate skills, like compassion, tenacity or humor. (Getty)Effective communication skills also enhance your ability to advocate for your wants and needs, which can help you move towards self-actualization. Deepen and strengthen relationships: Communicating isn’t just about talking to or at people - it involves developing listening skills and emotional intelligence. Improving your ability to listen and fully comprehend gives you the opportunity to relate to others more closely, and to better understand differing perspectives. While small talk can be tiresome, deeper, honest discussions strengthen bonds, and require some of the soft skills you’ll see in truly great communicators. You can often learn much about yourself when speaking to someone else - just clarify boundaries ahead of time!Enhance leadership skills: A good leader must be an effective communicator, otherwise their team’s morale and productivity will suffer. Someone who can explain the how and why of a project, then break down and communicate tasks directly will be much more successful than someone who cannot. A good leader should also be able to relate to their colleagues - don’t underestimate the value of team relationships based on mutual respect and trust. Achieve goals: This may be the most obvious reason to improve your communication skills: if you have big dreams or even small milestones you’d like to reach, being an articulate, effective communicator will keep you on track from start to finish. Becoming a good self-advocate and a confident speaker will help you network, and by strengthening relationships you’ll gain a better support system to rely on when the going gets tough. Improving verbal communication skillsPractice “active listening”: The first and most important step for better verbal communication is becoming a more effective listener. Yes, really! This means making an effort to ensure you truly comprehend the material by being an active listener. Try strategies like taking notes, paraphrasing information immediately afterwards, and ensuring that you’re not listening simply to reply - let others talk at their own pace and become comfortable with natural silences (every second doesn’t need to be filled with chatter!). The more you listen to others, the better you’ll become at analyzing communication styles, and at identifying techniques you want to adopt.Practice speaking: Yes, actually practice in person, or via phone or video chat with someone you trust, like family, friends, or a mentor. Use recording apps to practice by yourself. Pay attention to your flow of ideas, your typical speaking tone, and evaluate whether your audience (if practicing with others) understands the material. Ask for feedback: Again, feedback is crucial, particularly in the workplace. Being open to constructive criticism develops skills in previously weak areas. Colleagues, mentors, and even supervisors may be open to sharing nuances they’ve noticed when you speak (e.g. the dreaded “…uhm”), and can give you pointers. Improving non-verbal communication skillsImprove posture and breathing: Although analyzing your own body language can be awkward,many communication skills depend on these nonverbal cues. Pay attention to how you stand, sit, breathe and gesture during the communication process. Avoiding slouching and learning to regulate the speed of your speech and breathing can go a long way to improving confidence. The importance of communication skills can go a long way, whether in the form of business communication, presentation skills, or within personal relationships. Practice speaking: (Edwin Tan / Getty)The importance of practice can’t be understated. Practice with friends or family, or by yourself in a mirror. Take note of how you move when you speak, where you hold tension in your body, and any facial expressions or eye-contact you make. Because emotions can slip through our mind-body filter, it’s important to understand how communicative your face can be, and whether or not your expressions are conveying what you intend.Ask for feedback: If you’re comfortable doing so, asking for body language feedback can be invaluable. We don’t always notice when our expression or posture slips or when we fidget, and having a colleague or a mentor gently remind you can be invaluable, especially when practicing for a presentation. Improving written communication skillsEnsure clarity: Although writing varies depending upon subject and audience, always be as clear as possible. When writing poetry or crafting a novel there’s room for interpretation, but typical writing shouldn’t require a search for hidden meaning. This is especially true when relaying instructions, communicating at work, or teaching.Check tone: While verbal communication provides context clues like tone of voice, writing can easily be misinterpreted. For example, texting follows a different set of punctuation rules depending on your generation - a period which is commonplace in a novel may seem harsh in a casual text. Things like humor, particularly sarcasm, don’t always translate well. Be very clear about what tone and message your writing may be conveying, depending upon your subject and audience. Find your “voice”: The more you write, the more likely you are to develop a style and pattern known as your “writing voice.” While this is particularly true in creative writing and journalism, it also applies to typical writing between friends or colleagues. Not everyone is going to communicate with the skill of Bob Dylan or Tupac Shakur, but everyone's got room to grow to be great in their own way!Do you crack jokes often, or sign off with emojis rather than punctuation? When appropriate, use those traits to ensure your writing sounds like you. Ask for help and feedback: Assistance and feedback go hand-in-hand with writing. If grammar or specific writing structures aren’t your strong suits, ask someone to proofread drafts. And if you weren’t able to ask for copyediting help, ask for feedback on finished writing, and take notes for next time. Read more, more often: (Oscar Wong / Getty)Yes, read to improve your writing. The more often you read, the more likely you are to recognize styles, language conventions, and vocabulary. If you’re entering a specific field of work, immerse yourself in the literature (from blogs to professional journals) that goes along with it. Communication skills for career successSo, how do you demonstrate effective communication in your professional life? Even if you already feel confident in your skills, there’s almost always room for improvement. Essential communication skills for your resumeIn the current job market, the application process is quite competitive. Stand out by making a positive first impression with your resume; it’s an opportunity to highlight your top communication skills, and provides a foundation that can be expanded upon in cover letters or interviews. Here are a few key skills you can include, and remember to express them in engaging ways that relate to your past work. Try to avoid a static list, as action words are more evocative.Active listenerClear and concise communicatorResponsive and timely team memberExemplifies respect and empathyConsistently diplomatic Well-versed in mediation and negotiationSkilled at [your business field] communications *Always tailor skills to your field, e.g. “skilled at delivering financial reports to stakeholders.” Here’s how to be an excellent communicator as an employee: Ask for clarification: This ensures that expectations for your performance are clear, and paves the way for you to meet or exceed them. Paraphrase to demonstrate understanding: If a supervisor has explained something, particularly a complex topic or multiple tasks, taking a moment to think it through and then repeating a (simplified) version shows that you’ve internalized the information and can act on it. Convey information concisely: Some people love to talk! This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, and in certain professions (like teaching) this is a desirable quality. However, tangents and convoluted descriptions make it hard for others to understand and absorb information. So, keep it short, sweet, and salient - ensure everything you share is relevant and actionable. Request feedback: The ability to receive constructive criticism without becoming defensive is truly useful, as it allows you to recognize and remedy areas of improvement, which helps you grow not only as an employee, but as a person. If you ask for feedback from colleagues and supervisors, they know you’re open to improvement from the get-go, and can tailor suggestions to areas you specify. (However, coworkers and managers should not be tearing you down - constructive criticism must be actionable, and shouldn’t be mean-spirited or directed at who you are as a person.)Provide feedback: While not all employers will give you this opportunity, healthier environments are fostered when feedback is encouraged both ways. Keep the above points in mind - feedback should be actionable, and unless there have been serious issues with a mean-spirited or woefully ineffective manager, you should not be trying to needlessly criticize them. Here’s how to be an excellent communicator as a supervisor or employer:Demonstrate respect and empathy: Ensuring your team members feel seen and respected is key to a positive work environment. When subordinates feel like exactly that, “subordinate,” they’re less inclined to go above and beyond, and rightfully so. When contributions are respected, and when you demonstrate empathy for your colleagues and their personal situations, it shows you value them as humans and not simply as workers.Provide constructive feedback: As mentioned above, viewing your employees as the complex individuals they are is essential to positive workplace morale. Providing constructive, actionable suggestions can improve their productivity and the quality of their work, but also increases their confidence and helps them grow as individuals. Invite feedback: While employees are typically the ones receiving performance notes, inviting feedback on the supervisory level can boost your organization’s morale and productivity. Respecting employee input demonstrates that you’re all “in this together” and that you’re continually looking to improve the working environment. Provide clear instructions: Although this seems like a no-brainer, it’s sometimes difficult to know how your instructions are interpreted. Check with employees to ensure that tasks are clear and concise, and that there’s little room for misunderstanding. This small checkpoint can work wonders on employee confidence and productivity.In conclusionAlthough the process of communication skill-improvement can be daunting, this work will reward you ten-fold. Numerous studies indicate that better communication can brighten your outlook on your career and help you find fulfillment in your life out of the workplace. If you struggle with specific skills, remember that communication is all about connecting to others, and that asking for help is just part of the growth process. While growth may be uncomfortable, it’s often necessary to reach our goals and to truly realize our potential.