"I Wanna Go Fast": Hilarious Talladega Nights Quotes That Never Get Old
Every few years, a comedy movie comes along that stands the test of time. It's already been 17 years since Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby hit the big screen. The gut-busting comedy, starring Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly, follows Ricky Bobby, a slow-witted but skilled NASCAR driver who stays at number one thanks to help from his best friend and teammate, Cal Naughton, Jr. But when a French Formula One driver makes his way up the ranks, Ricky Bobby's talent is put to the test.The 2006 film is full of hysterical one-liners that are sure to make you laugh out loud. So buckle up and enjoy this collection of hilarious Talladega Nights quotes that never gets old!Talladega Nights quotes from Ricky Bobby“Help me, Jesus! Help me, Jewish God! Help me, Allah! Help me, Tom Cruise! Tom Cruise use your witchcraft on me to get the fire off me! Help me, Oprah Winfrey!” — Ricky Bobby“Hey, Guys! No tires! We’re not a pit crew anymore, we are a car wash team.” — Lucius Washington“Dear Lord baby Jesus, lyin’ there in your ghost manger, just lookin’ at your Baby Einstein developmental videos, learnin’ ’bout shapes and colors. I would like to thank you for bringin’ me and my mama together, and also that my kids no longer sound like retarded gang-bangers.” — Ricky Bobby“Don’t you put that evil on me, Ricky Bobby!” — Lucius Washington“Here is the deal - I am the best that there is. Plain and simple. I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence.” Ricky Bobby“I hope that both of you have sons … handsome, beautiful, articulate sons, who are talented and star athletes and they have their legs taken away. I mean I pray for you to know that pain and that hurt.” — Ricky Bobby“I’m all jacked up on mountain dew!” — Texas Ranger“Like the frightened baby chipmunk, you are scared by anything that is different.” — Jean Girard“No one lives forever, no one. But with advances in modern science and my high-level income, it's not crazy to think I can live to be 245, maybe 300.” — Ricky Bobby“Old man, I’m gonna come at you like a spider monkey!”Texas Ranger“Well, let me give you a saying from Colonel Sanders: I am too drunk to taste this chicken.” — Ricky Bobby“Wow! I feel like I’m in Highlander!” — Ricky Bobby“Aaaaah, Ricky Bobby! Now we shall dance and yes, it will be a slow jam.” — Jean Girard“Are we about to get it on? Because I’m as hard as a diamond in an ice storm right now.” — Ricky Bobby“My husband Gregory and I want what any couple wants: to retire to Stockholm and develop a currency for dogs and cats to use.”Jean Girard“Dear eight pound, six ounce, newborn baby Jesus, don't even know a word yet, just a little infant, so cuddly, but still omnipotent. We'd just like to thank you for all the races I've won and the money that I have accrued over this past season Also, due to a binding endorsement contract that stipulates I mention Powerade at each grace, I just wanna say that PowerAde is delicious and it cools you off on a hot summer day and we look forward to PowerAde's release of mystic mountain blueberry. Thank you, for all your power and your grace, dear baby God, Amen.” — Ricky Bobby“Did that blow your mind? Because that just happened!” — Ricky Bobby“From now on, it’s Magic Man and El Diablo.” — Ricky Bobby“Girard is sitting on the pole, which is a statement of fact and in no way a comment on his sexual orientation.” — PA Announcer“Hang on Baby Jesus, this is gonna get bumpy!” Ricky Bobby“Hey, shut up you little pot-licker, I’ll stick you in a microwave!” — Reese Bobby“I don’t know what to do with my hands.” — Ricky Bobby“I like to picture Jesus in a tuxedo t-shirt, cause it says, like, I want to be formal but I want to party, too, cause I like to party, so I like my Jesus to party.” — Cal Naughton Jr.“I like to think of Jesus as a mischievous badger.” — Cal Naughton Jr.“I’m just a big hairy American winning machine, you know?”Ricky Bobby“I sent in my application to The Real World, so I’m hoping to hear back from that. I’m putting a lot of my eggs into that basket, the MTV basket. I’m also thinking about getting a gun, and dealing crack. Being a crack dealer. Not, like, a mean crack dealer, but like … like a nice one. Kinda friendly, like, 'Hey, what’s up guys? You want some crack?' I’m just waiting on those two things to just kinda flesh themselves out.” — Ricky Bobby“I threw a bunch of grandpa Chip’s old war medals off the bridge.” — Walker“If you ain’t first, you’re last.” — Ricky Bobby“Look, I like the Christmas Jesus best, and I’m sayin’ grace, when you say grace, you can say it to grownup Jesus or teenage Jesus or bearded Jesus or whoever you want.” — Ricky Bobby“I like to think of Jesus as an Ice Dancer, dressed in an all-white jumpsuit, and doing an interpretive dance of my life.”Cal Naughton Jr.“One of you turds is gonna get smacked in the mouth!” — Texas Ranger“Ricky, remember: The field mouse is fast, but the owl sees at night.” — Chip“Shake and bake.” — Ricky Bobby“Ricky Bobby appears to be unhurt, but that Wonder Bread car is toast.”Race Announcer“Susan, I’ve never heard you talk like that. Are we about to get it on? Because I’m as hard as a diamond in an ice storm right now.” — Ricky Bobby“We keep it on there for profiling purposes! We’ve also got The Pet Shop Boys and Seal.” — Bartender“Why do you want me to break your arm so badly?” — Jean Girard“You gotta learn to drive with the fear, and there ain’t nothing more God darn frightening than driving with a live cougar in the car.”Reese Bobby
5-Year-Old Girl Officially Adopted After Spending Nearly 2,000 Days in Foster Care
Dreams really do come true! Especially in the case of a little girl in New York celebrating being officially adopted by her foster family — after a whopping 1,954 days!Now five years old, little Cece first arrived at Cindy and Jeffrey Moore’s home in the village of Depew, east of Buffalo, New York, when she was just two months old."We were just supposed to be an overnight stay until they found [her] a long-term place," Cindy Moore told Good Morning America."Once we saw her cute little face, we jokingly told them, 'If you need a place long term, let us know,'" Cindy Moore recollected. "The next day they said, 'You know, if you're serious about it, we could really use a long-term placement for her.' And here we are over five years later, and that long-term placement has now become a forever home for her."Photograph courtesy of Jeffrey and Cindy Moore (via: Good Morning America)Cindy Moore explained to WKBW-TV what a rollercoaster the adoption process can be.“In the five years she has been with us, we’ve always known there is the potential of her to be going home,” she said. “So, there are ups and downs cause you do get emotionally attached to kids, especially little cute ones like this.”Cindy and Jeff Moore officially adopted five-year-old Cece on May 11th, 2023.The Moores began fostering in 2015 after exploring the foster parent process following a battle with infertility."Friends of ours had some children that they had fostered and then they were in the process of adopting some of them. So, we picked their brain a little bit, got a little bit of information about how the foster system worked and what their experiences were, and then they sent us information to the agency that we work through - Child and Family Services," Cindy Moore described. "That's how we ended up getting certified through them."Photograph courtesy of Jeffrey and Cindy Moore (via: Good Morning America)The Chief Development Officer of the agency, Mary Czopp, says there are currently 60 certified foster parents in Erie County, where the Moore’s are located, but there are 300 children on the waitlist for a foster, or a forever, home.“Children need safety and that’s what we hope to provide through foster care,” says Czopp. “Through adoption, or unification through a biological parent where we work with the home, foster home, and biological parents.”The couple has welcomed over 30 foster children into their home over the past eight years and were absolutely delighted that the adoption of Cece was ultimately possible after such a long foster period.Photograph courtesy of Jeffrey and Cindy Moore (via: Good Morning America)"It's really, really gratifying for us. We're very excited about it. Every time we take a child in our house, you never really know how it's going to pan out long term by the time you start," Jeffrey Moore explained. "We had very high hopes in the beginning that we would get to keep Cece long term and be able to adopt her into our family, and we're ecstatic that it finally, finally got to that point."In addition to Cece, the Moores have adopted two other children through foster care and are in the process of adopting another."The same day that Cece was actually adopted, we found out that her half-brother that we've been fostering has been freed for adoption. So, we'll be starting the adoption process with him as well," Cindy Moore exclaimed.The couple strongly encourages others to consider becoming foster parents and having the opportunity to change children’s lives for the better.“I always tell people you take a chance you’d be surprised you know how rewarding it is for both of you and the children in the house,” Jeffrey Moore stated."People's first response is always, 'I could never give them back.' And my response to them is always, 'Well, they're not yours. You're assisting and you're just helping take care of them while they're in a time of need,'" Cindy Moore explained. "Something that I think that people need to go into foster care knowing is that the primary goal is always reunification with the family. And if that doesn't happen, then you can go down the adoption route."Photograph courtesy of Jeffrey and Cindy Moore"For us, we're very blessed and we're very happy that for us, it ended that way. But we have had children that have gone back home, and we feel very good about that as well because we have seen the growth in their family and we have seen that they're going to a nice, safe, good place," she added.If you would like to find out more about fostering a child in need, click here for the United States and here for Canada.MORE INSPIRING STORIES FROM GOALCAST:Employee Blocks Teen From Riding Ferris Wheel Because of Her “Disability” – So Her Stunned Friends Take ActionFormer Nurse on Her Way Home From Vacation Does THIS to Save a Man Whose Hart Stopped — While on an AirplaneFirefighter Meets the Son of a Man He Rescued From a Fire 23 Years Ago in an Emotional Reunion
Wedding of the Century: Grandparents Say I Do After 40 Years of Living Together
It's never too late to spend the rest of your life with the person you love.In January 2023, the town of San Pedro de la Cueva in Sonora, Mexico, hosted one of the most anticipated weddings of the year. After nearly half a century of living together, octogenarian couple Genoveva Romero Encinas, 86, and Francisco Maldonado Valenzuela, 88, decided to formalize their union and be married in their local Church.Witnessed by their friends and family, the couple celebrated their big day with the entire town!Credit: Yo ♥ San Pedro de la Cueva/FacebookThe happy couple’s nuptials (and the party of the century) were held in the parish of San Pedro de la Cueva, where hundreds of locals gathered to celebrate the couple’s wedding. The bride, Doña Beba, arrived in a white dress, her face covered with a veil and trailed by a two-meter train. Groom Don Francisco wore a cowboy-cut black suit. The bride was all smiles as she was walked down the aisle by her brother José Jesús Romero Encinas.The entire day was documented on the Facebook page I love San Pedro de la Cueva:Party central was in the town's Municipal Plaza, where hundreds of supporters turned up to witness the big event, arriving from across Mexico, as well the United States. Local travel agencies even organized travel packages for out-of-towners to attend the couple’s big day. Stalls were set up across the town square, selling churros, fresh drinks, roasted meat, and a variety of other goodies.After the ceremony, the couple took a breather and then headed to the celebration to take photos with the partygoers at what was dubbed “the wedding of the century.”Credit: Yo ♥ San Pedro de la Cueva/FacebookThe affectionate comments were flowing:The whole community attended this unforgettable wedding!My cool lady looks beautiful. Congratulations, my grandparents. I am crying with emotion to see them!A thousand thanks to all those who supported us from a distance and the residents of the municipality and all the attendees who came from other places!Credit: Yo ♥ San Pedro de la Cueva/FacebookThis heartwarming story is a reminder that true love at any age is always possible. And we appreciate the reminder from these octogenarian lovebirds.MORE FROM GOALCAST:Bride Bows Head During Wedding Ceremony – The Voice She Hears Next Leaves Everyone in TearsDaughter Stages a Fake Wedding So Her Dying Dad Can Have The “First Dance”Bride Knows Her Twin Sister Will Never Get Married – So the Groom Carries Her Down the Aisle in a Wedding Dress
The Rock Films Custom Selfie for Girl Superfan Who Waited Two Hours to Meet Him
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is one of the busiest public figures in showbiz but he's never too busy to give back to his fans. In addition to being a globally popular movie star, The Rock also seems to be one of the truly nice guys out there. We often see The Rock making time for his fans, but one particular instance really warms the heart.The Rock posted a video to his Instagram which shows him greeting tenth grader Carol — a fan from Tennessee — who waited patiently for hours for a glimpse of her favorite star.She was clearly nervous at the thought of meeting him and she went into absolute shock when she finally saw him!"I’m sorry, I just don’t believe it," she gushed. Johnson thanked the girl for waiting for so long and took the time to take a variety of photos and videos together.Throughout the entire interaction, it’s apparent that Carol is a huge fan, thrilled to be interacting with a star she’s only ever seen on the big screen. The Rock was as nice as could be, patiently trying to help Carol regain her composure and spending loads of time taking pictures together.To top things off, The Rock gave Carol and her friends tickets to the opening of Black Adam, a film in the DC Extended Universe.He later stated on his Instagram page:"May sound silly but this kinda stuff (meeting and taking care of fans) will always be the best part of fame.Thanks for being awesome, Carol! Make sure you tell all your friends how mean, cold, and unkind #BlackAdam really is in person. Great to meet you."Credit: John Carroll/WREG MemphisThe Rock has been living in Memphis, Tennessee while he films the third season of his show Young Rock.Dwayne Johnson has spoken previously about an experience he had early in his career, where he explained that he “acted like a real jerk” toward his fans and that it taught him that he had the power to make people feel good. It was at that moment he made the decision to be kind to his fans, leaving them with nothing but positive experiences.And this kindness reminds us of another example of The Rock being exceptionally kind to three of his young fans a few years back, pulling over to take pictures with them. Credit: @TheRock/InstagramCarol’s experience with Johnson has clearly made her a superfan for life who will never forget these emotional moments.The Rock continues to shine after starting his career playing football, then into a legendary WWE wrestling career, and later into movie superstardom.The Rock, who has an astounding following of over 380 million people on Instagram, is clearly a man of the people. What type of move could you pull off for a The Rock selfie? Or better yet, your own customized video to flash off to friends, family members, fellow students, or co-workers...