Self-Reflection: Why Is It Important?
Do you ever wake up in the middle of the night and reminisce the time five years ago you said something you regretted? Or perhaps you’ve walked down the street and had a “lightbulb” moment on why a situation panned out the way it did?At times the human mind can be its own worst critic; we reimagine memories different to the truth and even create fake scenarios in our heads that can leave us standing in the shower angry at someone for something that hasn’t even happened.That being said, by tapping into our subconscious mind and taking time to understand our thoughts and behaviours, we can actually find some serious benefits in the long run. It’s time to change our perspective on what has previously been dubbed “over-thinking” and to use this in a positive way that will help us grow as individuals. Let’s talk about self-reflection.What is self-reflection?Self-reflection is the practice of actively looking at your thoughts, attitudes and behaviours to understand your impact on yourself and others. If you were to compare your thoughts to the words on the pages of a book, then self-reflection would be like going to book club and discussing them in depth. By taking an inward look at ourselves we adopt empathy for others, understanding how our actions impact those around us both positively and negatively. This helps us to become more self-aware and enables us to grow. To use the infamous Einstein quote, if “insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”, then self-reflection is the first step in achieving a different and desirable outcome. The act of self-reflection can be understood by the term itself: to reflect on one’s mind as if to hold up a mirror to yourself. An example of this, albeit satirical, is Derek Zoolander staring at his reflection in a puddle asking: “who am I?”, although you might want to opt for a setting that doesn’t result in getting splashed.This can be incredibly useful when trying to understand sources of conflict or resistance, moving towards a more self-compassionate state. In doing so, you are more likely to see the views of others and understand how your individual thoughts and actions have an impact on them. Let’s look at an example: perhaps you have been working at a company for a while now and feel like you deserve a promotion. Despite attempts to progress, you feel that you aren’t being recognised.In this scenario, self-reflection can help you understand more about your current thoughts and behaviours to enable you for a stronger future. By reflecting on your current state of mind you may ask yourself certain questions – why do I feel so frustrated? How do others see me from the outside? Is there anything more that I can be doing or giving to help me progress? How do I envision myself in the future – what specific attributes does this future-self have that I don’t currently? By asking these questions and reflecting on previous experiences you may be able to gain perspective on the problem. You may find that you need to tackle it from a different angle, give yourself more time or perhaps pursue new opportunities. By taking time to actively reflect on your previous experience you can define your own future.Why is self-reflection important? Despite what Hollywood might show us on the big screen, life is never truly as simple as we would all like it to be. There are always new challenges to face in both professional and personal settings and these experiences are what shape us as individuals. It is perfectly normal to feel anxious about these challenges as they bring change which at times can feel overwhelming. Self-reflection is a tool that can help you manage these situations. Remember, you can only truly review your own personal thoughts, beliefs and behaviours. With this in mind, you can gain a better understanding of what you are able to do in that moment. This could mean having a constructive conversation with a colleague, family member or partner, or perhaps just showing yourself some compassion and self-love to feel stronger in the situation. In the modern world with the speed and accessibility of technology, we are more impatient than ever before, and this can have a dire impact on our self development. By slowing down and taking a step back to truly reflect, we can take one step closer to where we want to be.What are the benefits of self-reflection?A great place to begin with self-reflection is having a goal or question in mind that you want to solve. This can help shape your focus on reflection and help maintain objectivity. By being goal-orientated you are more likely to be open-minded on the potential solutions available, rather than focusing on the journey at hand. If we don’t set a goal of positive outcome for ourselves, there can be a danger of becoming overly critical. Here are some examples of what you could achieve from self-reflection:Finding peace: We are consumed with our thoughts and the likes of social media can regularly have a negative impact on our perception of ourselves. By reflecting on your thoughts, behaviours and emotions, you can begin to identify your own inner strengths and focus on what is important to you. This can help add balance to your life and restore a sense of inner peace.(Oscar Wong / Getty)Improved relationships: Whether it be a partner, family or friends, we all struggle with the relationships in our lives from time-to-time. In these struggles, it can be hard to empathise with others if you have been hurt, but through the process of self-reflection you will gain a better understanding of your own thoughts and behaviours towards specific situations. This can help shape difficult conversations by demonstrating empathy towards others. You may find that this in turn allows the other person to do the same. Increased confidence & self-esteem: Like the muscles in our body, we need to break down layers in our mind before we can grow stronger. Through this process of introspection, we can uncover pieces of our potential identify and our hidden strengths – self-reflection is equally about the successes as it is finding the areas for development. Take pride in this and add that extra bit of swagger to your step. How can I practice self-reflection?While there isn’t a set routine to practice self-reflection, no cheat sheet or 1-month programme, self-reflection is something that we do more regularly than you think. It may be on your commute home, when exercising, at work or in bed – all of the time our minds are analysing the events of our days and you may find yourself asking questions about your thoughts, feelings and emotions. We are constantly developing by the second, however it can take longer than anticipated to reach our aspirations if we do not dedicate time to actually listening to our minds. This can lead to frustration and anger towards situations that with a little focus could become more manageable. Here are three easy steps to break down the process:Identify important questions:Either in actual conversation or inner monologue, you’ve probably found yourself asking questions about your own beliefs or characteristics to try to resolve a problem. Perhaps you’ve wondered “why do I avoid confrontation?” or “why do I struggle to control my emotions under pressure?”. You may also aspire for a new or changed characteristic – “I wish I was more confident having difficult conversations” or “I wish I could remain calm when my back is against the wall”. Either way, try probing beneath the surface a bit further, look for examples of your past-behaviours and reference times where you have achieved what you set out to do. Write down your thoughts in a journalA great tool to help you with this is to journal. By putting down your thoughts and emotions on paper you can literally review the contents of your mind in front of you. In doing so we can develop a deeper understanding of ourselves and what our true beliefs are, how they affect us positively and negatively and what we can do to either improve or celebrate these. It may seem scary or silly to actually put thoughts onto paper but allow your mind to take over and focus on getting something down, rather than producing a polished article. This could be first thing in the morning as a dream diary, or perhaps just a notes section in your phone to take down random thoughts, emotions and feelings. Make sure to return to these entries and look for common themes to address. If you feel comfortable enough, talk these through with a friend, colleague, partner or family member. Your journal does not need to be shared with anyone else if you don’t want to share it, so think of it more as a tool at your disposal when reflecting, rather than a record. Meditate (Luis Alvarez / Getty)As we go about our everyday life, our minds get clouded with waves of thoughts that can sometimes feel overwhelming. Practicing meditation can help gently organise your mind and become more present, even with just 5 minutes a day. While it’s not directly self-reflection, it has benefits such as improved concentration and better memory recall which can better equip you when looking inward. When we assess our thoughts and beliefs, we are referencing memories and events associated with these, so the more open-minded and objective you can be, the more likely you will be to think solution-first. Make sure you check out our guide to self-reflection meditation for more information.Remaining open and objectiveEven with a clear goal in mind, self-reflection can seem like a frustrating process as you uncover different layers about yourself. We can easily get wrapped up in fake scenarios and misconstrued memories which can lead us astray, so remaining open and objective is crucial to help us get to where we want to be.Remain open: Through the idea of looking inward at our thoughts, beliefs and emotions we are looking at our existing footprints, rather than finding the direct route to our next destination. You may find that things don’t necessarily turn out the way that you originally thought but this does not have to be a bad thing – keep an open mind and explore new possibilities and perspectives, you never know what you might find. Practice recognition: It is easy to get caught up in the negatives of what we find and to focus on perfection. The reality is that no one is perfect, so by recognising who you are and the people/things around you in your life you will be more likely to see the better side of your findings. Start with the things that we take for granted: a roof over our heads and food in our bellies and move your way up. Through this process of self-acceptance, we can move towards a more positive mindset and cultivate new habits.Adopt a new perspective: Each time that you ask yourself a question, try to think of how you are seen from another perspective. This could be a colleague, friend, family member or partner. Imagine yourself in their shoes and look at yourself from their lens. Whilst it may be difficult to face negative feelings, this will help provide clear actions that you can take to help you feel better. This could be things like asking more questions, being more direct or showing more compassion. Try out these new perspectives and gauge the results that you receive, you may receive a more positive reaction than what you have previously experienced.Providing positive insights as well as areas for improvementWhen asked to name three positives about ourselves, we are likely to struggle much more than if we were to be asked to name three negatives. Through the process of self-reflection this can equally be an easy route to take as we uncover things about ourselves that we may not necessarily like or agree with but understand the need to overcome. Remind yourself that purely by taking time to improve yourself you are demonstrating a huge amount of strength, humility and willpower, so give yourself a big pat on the back. Make sure to practice gratitude throughout the process of what you do have and keep in mind your goal when uncovering layers in your thoughts and beliefs. When setting these goals, it may be useful to adopt the SMART objectives acronym (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Timely). This will help you identify where your current strengths are in order to focus on areas for improvement. Whilst this is usually known for the work environment, the same can be applied for goal setting in your relationships. For example, perhaps you feel that your relationship with your partner is unbalanced. You feel that your wants and needs aren’t being fulfilled and you may want your partner to put more effort into the relationship. Firstly, identify where your strengths are and ask yourself key questions: “do I actively make an effort to please my partner?”, “do I take an active interest in their life?” “Do I feel happy and secure in my relationship?”. Remember to peel back the layers and put yourself in the shoes of your partner, reflect on previous experiences and reference the emotions, thoughts and behaviours that you had in those moments. These references can then help shape transformational conversations – perhaps you give too much of yourself without your partner asking for it. Maybe you don’t actively ask for things you want or maybe your partner feels you ask too much?Use these same references as guides to help you both achieve a positive outcome. Try to remain calm and adopt empathy, rather than using these as bargaining chips. Focus on improvement, not impediment. No one is perfect and no one can know everything, but adopting a positive mindset will help you on your way to what will hopefully be a positive outcome.Conclusion Without realising, you’ve spent your whole life self-reflecting. From babies to adults, we grow as humans through learning from our actions and listening to the feedback from others around us. So why does it seem so daunting to actively practice looking inside our minds? The prospect of finding something that we don’t like is scary, but it’s something we must face.Remember, by separating this as an activity rather than as a passive thought shower, you are always in control. You can choose when to self-reflect, you can choose which goals to set for yourself and you can choose the actions that you take as a result of it. This is not a practice of exposing flaws but quite the opposite, like creating a sculpture. Through the process of reflection, we see our creation under a more magnified lens. We can explore it, tweak it, mould and remould until we are happy with our new creation. (Ben Roberts Photography / Getty)We don’t get to choose what we see in our reflection but maybe, just maybe, eventually we might like what looks back at us. The strength to get there is inside of you right now.
Psychological Trauma: Symptoms, Signs, and Life Impact
Our experiences mold us into the people that we are, and when we go through something traumatic, we can be impacted for the rest of our lives. And this impact is not limited to experiencing physical symptoms, but psychological symptoms as well. You may have found yourself asking why you feel triggered at specific situations or traumatic memories, and searching for answers in your past. It is easy to brush this off and to say, “I’m sure I’ll be fine”, but it is important to understand the root causes in order to help you move on. Posttraumatic stress disorder is no joke , and traumatic experiences must be taken seriously in order to escape their negative effects over the long-term.What is psychological trauma? Psychological trauma is the impact of a previous event in your life that has resulted in a feeling of being overwhelmed, in danger or isolated. It can have a long-lasting impact on us and may reappear later in life in different forms. Psychological trauma can disturb or warp the makeup of our minds and how we see the world. It can distort our values and beliefs. Cognitive behavioral therapy tells us that it can also manifest itself in other psychological disorders such as depression, anxiety, obsessive compulsive disorder and eating disorders.We tend to think of psychological trauma as a specific event, however, it can be accumulated across a series of events over the course of years. Examples of events that can cause psychological trauma include:An unstable or unsafe environmentNatural disastersCar accidentsSeparation from a parentSerious illnessIntrusive medical proceduresSexual, physical, or verbal abuseDomestic violenceNeglectDifferent Types of Traumatic EventsOne of the biggest challenges of trauma can be to identify or acknowledge it. There is no one-size fits all diagnosis when it comes to traumatic experiences and traumatic stress symptoms. Acute traumaEvents such as natural disasters, car accidents, physical or sexual assault or the death of someone close to you are referred to as acute trauma. They cause an intense amount of stress immediately after the event and can leave a long-lasting impact on the brain. Secondary traumaAlong with the survivors of these catastrophic events, those who are first on the ground to respond to them can also suffer secondary trauma. Emergency service workers can also be trauma survivors, and may feel overwhelmed at situations that they are faced with and can “take on” trauma as a result. Chronic traumaPsychological trauma can also come in the form of repeated events over a longer period of time. For instance, physical, sexual or emotional abuse, neglect, domestic violence and bullying are all examples of chronic trauma. There may be no consistent pattern or severity to these events so it can be easy to brush off as insignificant. Alternatively, this can result in a development of sustained fear and hyperactive behaviours to prepare themselves for a potentially traumatic event. Childhood experiencesAdverse childhood experiences can also have an impact on socialisation and development. This type of trauma can be caused by experiencing/witnessing violence, abuse or neglect in the home. This could also extend to the community that a child is raised as this environment will have an equal impact on their development.Spotting the signs of psychological and emotional traumaTraumatic events can affect the part of our brain known as the amygdala, which is responsible for our emotions, survival instinct and memory. This is the part of our mind that allows us to manage risks and alerts us when we identify something as a threat. When it becomes damaged by past trauma it can become overactive and we may begin to see threats in everyday sights and sounds. For example, war veterans that suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder may experience a great deal of fear when hearing loud sounds similar to gunshots. It could just be a firework or a car backfiring, but their brain can instead recognise this as a more drastic situation and react in a more drastic way.Traumatic events can have a long-lasting impact on us and lead to problems later in life. This can include a wide range of symptoms both that affect our mental and physical health.Examples of symptoms:ExhaustionConfusionObesityRespiratory difficulties (such as asthma)Poor academic performanceSubstance abuseSexual problemsEating disordersHeadachesSleep disturbance/nightmaresPost-traumatic stress disorderDepressionAnxietyIrritability The impact of emotional and psychological traumaThose who experience trauma, whether in a significant relationship involving interpersonal violence or an experience like a serious car accident, may directly or indirectly find themselves experiencing longer-term symptoms. These can go easily undetected however these may have developed because of an event or events.Breakdown of close relationshipsThose who experience trauma can develop hostility towards others based on their previous experiences. They may not even acknowledge the trauma themselves let alone communicate it to others, so their behaviour can seem unjustified and irrational, almost like a mental illness. Without the right coping skills, something that can be taught by a mental health professional, they may act out at family members, friends or partners for seemingly irrelevant reasons which over time can push others away. Social withdrawalTrauma can also have the opposite effect through social withdrawal. Trauma sufferers may find it difficult to leave the house and go about their daily lives as a result of their heightened sense of fear. They may also experience feelings of shame through these experiences and may not want to discuss their problems with others. Coping mechanisms Dealing with complex trauma can feel incredibly overwhelming and difficult to manage. Sufferers may turn to alcohol or drugs in an attempt to “numb” the pain which can have a long-lasting effect on mental and physical health. (Halfpoint Images / Getty)Alternatively, some may find themselves developing close relationships with others based solely on their shared experiences of trauma. These relationships are known as trauma bonding and can become unstable, encouraging dependency and further abuse. Psychological trauma & chronic painPsychological trauma can have a long-lasting effect on the body and can even lead to chronic illness. The stress endured by the event or events is held by the muscles of the body and this tension can be difficult to release.Our minds and bodies are connected, so when our head is telling us that we are feeling stress, it sends signals of pain to alert us. In tandem, the pain that we experience then causes stress. The vicious cycle of mental and physical or pain hypervigilance creates more suffering for the individual over time as they struggle to relax, sleep and perform day-to-day tasks. Sufferers can also experience painful spasms throughout their body which can leave them exhausted for hours, or sleep disorders.Look out for early signs of aches or pains and try to establish when you began feeling them. They could be related to certain situations which may have been triggered by previous trauma. Make sure to practice relaxation techniques, take time off work if necessary and prioritise your health. Managing trauma day-to-dayWhen we go through physical trauma we go to the hospital, seek professional help and get treatment right away. This approach is the same for psychological trauma, however it is likely to have a longer lasting impact than a broken bone or burns. Additionally, physical trauma may also lead to psychological trauma, so it’s especially important to be able to spot the signs of trauma and manage it as effectively as possible.Continuing to connect with others and the outside worldAnxiety is a very common after-effect of a traumatic event. It can leave you feeling isolated and nervous about everyday activities. You may feel lethargic or lose interest in your hobbies and day-to-day life. Although it may feel overwhelming, it is crucially important to continue to get out of the house and connect with the outside world to gain some semblance of emotional support. The more that we isolate ourselves the harder it is to rebuild ourselves back up again. Start with small steps; it could just be taking a walk at lunch and taking in nature. Being amongst others even if you don’t speak to them has a hugely positive impact on our minds, and this can help us build up to bigger endeavours. Over time you may feel more comfortable to see friends, family or colleagues which can help rebuild social skills and increase confidence.Taking baby steps away from your traumatic experience is important. If you feel overwhelmed, take some time to reset and evaluate where you are in your own mind. The journey to self-love Psychological trauma can have a huge impact on self-esteem. You may feel inadequate in your surroundings, which can have a knock-on effect in your day-to-day life. Understanding the root cause of these feelings can help manage these feelings better. Practicing positive affirmations is a great exercise to improve your perception of yourself. You may feel silly telling yourself how great you are, but by repeating this daily routine will aid these thoughts to become reality. Subconsciously, if we tell ourselves that we deserve happiness and that we love who we are then we are more likely to believe it. Acknowledge the past and your own subjective emotional experience, and look at how it has shaped your present. From there you can begin to build a brighter future where you are able to love yourself for who you are, rather than from your previous experiences.Taking good care of your healthLooking after your personal health is a great place to start when you may be struggling with your mental health. Chemically speaking, our minds are able to function better when our bodies are well nourished.This has been proven time and time again by various studies. We are more productive after breakfast, our mood can be much more positive with a balanced diet and exercise releases endorphins which make us feel happy and satisfied.Review your existing health and look at easy wins to change this. It could be as simple as drinking more water, eating more fruit or going for a run a couple of times a week. Minor changes can make big results and help you manage mood swings or negative tendencies that may have been caused by psychological trauma. Although a great deal of work has been done in recent years to raise awareness of mental health there is still stigma around this topic. Remember that mental health is not always easy to spot and someone may be suffering in silence. Remind yourself of these mental illness quotes to help raise awareness.When to seek professional helpUncovering or dealing with psychological trauma might feel overwhelming and you may not know where to start. Whilst we want to be there for those closest to us, friends, family or partners may not always be able to provide the right type of support for you.In some cases they may have been the direct or indirect cause of the trauma, so these conversations can be difficult to have and could cause further issues. If you are experiencing symptoms of psychological trauma it may be worth exploring the options of professional help: CounsellingCounselling provides a safe space to speak about issues that you are currently facing. By speaking to someone who does not know you or anything about you, you may feel freer to speak about issues or situations that you have not discussed with anyone else before. All conversations are kept confidential and counsellors are trained to listen non-judgmentally. You may find that by talking through the trauma you may uncover other parts of yourself. This can be incredibly empowering and can help you begin to manage the trauma more effectively. Make sure that you pick the right counsellor for your needs as this can have an impact on the experience.PsychotherapyPsychotherapy is another talking therapy similar to counselling, however it focuses on feelings and experiences as opposed to action and behaviour. This is to help gain a deeper understanding of our feelings and emotions associated with early trauma, which in turn provides more long-term solutions to recurring issues. (microgen / Getty)This can help with managing psychological trauma. It looks at how past experiences contribute to current behaviours. Psychotherapists use a variety of techniques including counselling and cognitive behavioural therapy to help you work through these issues effectively. It is typically a longer type of therapy which can last for months or even years. This is to help manage the issue effectively and focus on the big picture as opposed to a more short-term solution. Speak to a psychotherapist before you commit to long-term therapy. It is key for both parties to feel that this is the right solution and that there is a good fit, and most professionals will offer a short intro conversation for little or no charge.Cognitive behavioural therapyCognitive behavioural therapy or CBT helps to understand both how we think and behave. Similar to the other therapies, CBT helps to identify negative thinking patterns that affect our behaviours which could be caused by emotional and psychological trauma.CBT helps to cultivate new habits whereby you are able to notice these negative thinking patterns or “cognitive distortions” sooner. In turn, you will be able to manage situations more effectively and break the cycle of difficult emotions. Acknowledging your trauma and sitting with emotionSometimes acknowledging the trauma itself can be incredibly difficult and overwhelming, particularly if it was caused by a loved-one or someone who was close to you. It can be hard to accept that a certain person is or was capable of causing harm and you may feel guilt or shame by associating that person with this action.It may also be hard to actually identify a source of trauma, especially if you have suffered over a prolonged period of time. Our memories can become distorted, and we may reimagine different scenarios whereby we dismiss traumatic events.In order to begin to better manage this trauma it may be helpful to begin focusing on your present state first, rather than the past. Identify behaviours about yourself that you may have developed or you are unsure about. For example, you may over-apologise in situations where you don’t need to. Or perhaps you have stopped going places or doing certain things that would previously be no problem to you. Once you have found this, cast your mind back to when these behaviours began. There may be a clear event that you can relate this to that you may have dismissed or suppressed. Think about how that event made you feel and the trauma-related emotions that you associated with it.It can be easy to continue to dismiss these events but by allowing your mind and body to acknowledge and feel those thoughts, feelings and emotions can begin the healing process. You may feel overwhelmed so continue to reach out to personal or professional support where possible and make sure that you are in a safe space. In conclusion Traumatic events are not things that we choose to participate in, they are something that happens to us. These events can stay with us for a lifetime but do not have to be definitive of our character. Once we understand the source of psychological and emotional trauma and acknowledge suffering, we get to decide how we shape our own future.
The Sunk Cost Fallacy: Understanding Sunk Costs
Picture the scene: it’s a Wednesday night, it’s raining outside and you feel like you’re coming down with a cold. However, you’ve spent money on tickets to see a band you’ve wanted to see for a while – what do you do? You could swerve the gig. It’s probably best if you stay in anyway, so you can feel better over the next few days. Plus, the weather is looking bleak as it is. So why can’t you ignore that annoying voice in your head telling you to go? You find yourself lugging your way out of bed, away from the TV and on your way to an event that you don’t really want to go to, afraid to throw good money away. Even though you paid for the tickets ages ago, and the money is no longer going to be a factor, you put on a brave face and try to “enjoy” the band regardless. This is what’s known as the sunk cost fallacy.Sunk cost fallacy definitionThe sunk cost fallacy is a curious aspect of behavioral decision making, the act of continuing to pursue an outcome based solely on a previous investment rather than using more rational decisions. This investment could be time, money or effort, although the most common tend to be monetary, as this is more directly accountable. Natural human decision processes make it hard to ignore sunk costsWhen we concede to sunk costs we focus on the input rather than the output. Despite making the initial investment to achieve a bigger gain, when variables change we set aside this clarity and hold our nerve based solely on the initial investment made as a form of perceived loss aversion. Whether we are aware of it or not, the cost has already “sunk” meaning that the outcome of your investment is no longer dependent on it. By focusing on what we have put in when it’s already gone, rather than what we get out, we can become blind-sided and risk not achieving a positive outcome at all. And the desire to avoid negative emotions related to sunk costs doesn’t just affect the decision making process of individuals. We see this kind of thinking on a larger scale as well; it is evident in national economic behavior, in decisions by companies to remain committed to outdated products or strategies, and even entire societies fall victim to irrational decisions. Examples of the sunk cost effectThe new invention of cryptocurrency has made it easier than ever for the general public to make investments without even knowing what they are buying. Say you invest $500 in the hope that it will double, you may find that it is tempting to hold out even if your investment begins to tumble. You may then be further in than you can afford, but you still believe that you cannot withdraw your money. A similar example is when companies continue to buy new pieces of equipment, machinery or put money into advertising campaigns. Those that study organizational behavior see that, typically, there are bigger investments at stake, investors to please and potential profits to be made. But this can still make it difficult for corporations to back out of these when the predicted outcomes change and a focus may shift to “make it work”. It’s not always about moneySunk costs do not always have to be monetary either, they can also relate to other factors such as time and effort. For instance, some people may stay in a relationship for years purely because of the significant amount of time they have spent with each other. If two people are not right for each other, then it is easy to succumb to the sunk cost as a reason to stay together. (Dmitry Belyaev / Getty)The same applies to the likes of education or careers. Continuing on a course or in a job that you no longer enjoy or see a future in can be an easy trap to fall into the further you pursue it. The amount of physical, mental and emotional effort invested in a venture like a university degree or starting a new career is huge and this is magnified at a younger age where experience and money are typically harder to come by. Why do we fall for the sunk cost fallacy?In a word: emotion. You may have heard hard-nosed business folk say “leave your emotions at the door” when speaking about investments and this applies to the sunk cost fallacy. As humans we are conditioned to assess risk in order to survive, however as part of this we can end up attaching ourselves to these same risk factors even once they have passed.When we spend significant time, money and effort on something we are emotionally invested as we know that this has an impact on our future. Despite the fact we may end up with a positive outcome, it is difficult to get past the potential negative effect. It is this weight on our mind that prevents us from remembering why we made that investment in the first place.How do you avoid sunk costs?To gain the best outcome for our investments, the most important thing is to recognise the signs of potential sunk costs. It’s likely that the majority of us have at least one example of a sunk cost in our lives, so here are a few tips to help you minimise your exposure: Getting feedbackWithout realising, you may attach yourself emotionally to investments that you make or are responsible for. As a result you could find yourself blindsided to try and prove a point to ourselves or others. This can ultimately distract us from the original purpose of the investment. To avoid this it’s crucial to gather feedback from others to help you. Not one person can know everything, so seek advice from a third party to help validate or correct a decision before you make an investment. Make sure to remain objective when requesting and receiving feedback as any further emotion could cloud your judgement. In a professional setting it may help to do this anonymously, whereas in a more personal investment it may be better to do this in private to avoid any external bias.Better still, data is your best friend. Even your most trusted circle may not be able to give you the best advice possible, so dig into the details and use this to spot the signs of when to get in or out. This could be analysing market trends or even just calculating your monthly outgoings – either way the numbers can’t lie. Cultivating new habitsIf you find yourself regularly regretting going to events or throwing good money away you could be falling into the sunk-cost fallacy. To make changes, first recognise what these habits are and identify the patterns. Most importantly at this moment make sure to not fall for the fallacy once again! Through this process of introspection it can be daunting to acknowledge and appreciate our problem. You may find yourself saying “that’s just who I am” or “I won’t ever be able to change”, but this is by virtue the root of the problem. Everyone is capable of bettering themselves, so don’t let old habits die hard.Once you have identified these patterns the causes and solutions will become much clearer. These may not always be the easiest to action, you may have to cut down your spending or perhaps be a bit more assertive in a relationship, but by tackling this head on you can achieve a better outcome. Make sure to reflect on past situations where things have panned out differently and use these as reference points. Each time that you make these new actions you are taking a step closer to becoming the best version of yourself, so remind yourself of the hard work that you have done to stop yourself becoming overwhelmed. Fail fastIt’s not always possible to avoid the sunk cost fallacy, so it’s important to at least fail fast. Failing may seem like a negative term, but really it should be a synonym for trying. Without taking risks in life we are unable to learn and grow as humans, however it’s better to fail, learn and move on quickly if you are going to take a risk.This is especially important for businesses and entrepreneurs when accounting for costs or proving new concepts. It can feel tempting to “make it work” when you have made an investment but make sure to recognise when a cost is sunk. Balance the output vs the input and make a rational decision on your next steps. Better still, cover your down-side before making the initial investment so that you have something to fall back on if the original plan doesn’t go through. This could be a case of having a contingency budget or taking out insurance in order to help alleviate some of the impact. Learn, adapt, improve and do it quickly. The most successful people in the world are able to look inwardly at themselves and have the integrity to know when they have made a mistake. This helps them stay ahead of themselves and even their competition. Dealing with sunk costs and future costsHindsight may be a wonderful thing, but it isn’t always possible to avoid sunk costs. Through the sunk cost fallacy, you may find yourself emotionally absorbed with past decisions and that can take a real toll on your mental and physical health. It happens to everyoneFirstly, remember that even the best businesspeople, governments, celebrities and likely a lot of your own friends and family have fallen into the sunk cost fallacy at least once in their lives, so you are not alone. Remind yourself that however seemingly impossible it may seem to get out of a sunk cost, acceptance is the first step towards growth.From here it is key to think practically. Ask yourself what are the immediate factors that I can control or influence? Who can I ask for help in this situation? What are the steps that I need to take to get to a positive outcome? Ensure that you keep momentum by taking a breath before you act. Even a minor pause and internal countdown can help process your actions and make them more effective. Meditation can help with this by focusing the mind and enabling self-awareness. At each step in your journey acknowledge how far you have come and remind yourself of why you are doing something rather than how you are going to do it. Dust yourself off and give yourself gratitude for taking positive action, and when it gets too much practice some stress relief techniques such as exercising, journaling and even just putting down your phone for a while.Selflessness vs selfishnessFor anyone who describes themselves as an empath, saying no can be a terrifying prospect. Unfortunately, this can also be a big cause for sunk costs. You may have spent years agreeing to plans, opinions and investments to pacify others, but this can become overbearing and distract you from achieving what you set out to. In this scenario it’s important to separate selfishness from selfless behaviour. Despite good intentions, not saying no may actually be more selfish than it is selfless. Let’s say that a friend invites you to a dinner party that you know you aren’t able to attend. You accept the invitation and go to the dinner, having to sacrifice your other plans. You may feel resentment towards your friend for ruining your plans and tell yourself you were “just trying to make them happy”, when in reality it would have been better for all parties involved to say no to the invitation.(cnicbc / Getty)Be clear with your intentions from the output and this will make it easier to say no. There is always the potential for it to feel awkward and to upset others in the process, however continuing old habits to appease others will only cause more damage in the long run. Make sure to acknowledge and reference previous experiences of when this has worked as this will enable you to deliver the news in the correct manner.In conclusionOpportunity is a wonderful and exciting thing. It’s why we buy lottery tickets, go on new adventures and commit ourselves to others. However, no one teaches you to stop giving when you don’t need to anymore. Unless you were born an accountant, economist or risk-analyst you’re probably less likely to know how to listen to the rational voice in your head.It’s perfectly fine to make mistakes, if anything it’s a fantastic quality about us as humans. But to truly unlock the best qualities in ourselves we need to acknowledge these mistakes and make the tough decisions to go down the new track.