6 Tips to Improve Your Conversations and Make Lasting Impressions
It turns out that making simple conversation is not as simple as some would think. Recently, I was able to witness how sometimes even successful people with a great bundle of knowledge in various topics cannot build an engaging conversation.That led me to think about what qualities make a person good at conversations. Going through my mind and remembering all the people who had a great impression on me, I highlighted a few points that might be helpful to build a great conversation.6 Simple Tips to Improve Your Conversations and Make Lasting ImpressionsMost conversations are simply monologues delivered in the presence of a witness.- Margaret Millar1. Know your audienceImagine you are selling vacuum cleaners. Would you target teenagers studying at high school? Surely not. The same applies when you build a conversation. You might have experienced it before when a person with different passions from you keeps going on about something without taking note of your lack of interest. If you avoid those people yourself, then do not be one. For example, do not go into discussing only rugby with a person who is not into sports. If you do not know the person, then ask them about their interests first, and then improvise. I was a guest at a party once where a few people came up to me and introduced themselves. After learning what I do for a living, they started asking questions about it and then commented with their opinions. You can do the same by asking a person about their job or interests and improvising with a later conversation. 2. Be aware of off-limit topicsThere are things you can discuss and things you cannot discuss. Of course, if the person you talk to is a very close family member, friend or someone you are sure will tolerate your opinions, you might disregard this advice. But if it is a person who you do not know well, do not even try getting into a conversation about politics or religion.These topics are extremely personal, and everyone I have ever met has their own unique thoughts on both, even among people who belong to the same political party or belief system. The discussion is never-ending and will often lead to nothing but fights. 3. Become a person of tactHave you ever had a conversation where the person you're talking to makes a comment that upsets you or puts you in a difficult position? For example, I was sharing my intention to study abroad with a girl one time, when she replied: “Yes, that is a great idea, but only smart people get an education abroad.” Back at university, I knew a guy who repelled everyone he ever had a conversation with because he would make comments that made everyone feel less of themselves.There are people who cannot control being untactful, even if they might be good peopl. Being tactless comes from a lack of emotional intelligence, and a lack of awareness of the things you say and their impact on others. If this is you, then you should pay more attention to what you say. You need to challenge your limits, be more open-minded and think twice before saying something in a rush.4. Organize your speechA few weeks ago, I had a phone chat with a well-educated professional. During the conversation, he asked questions and responded to them himself. He constantly jumped from one topic to another without completing his sentences. I could not understand him.There are people who are well read and educated but cannot put two words together in a sentence properly. It is due to their way of thinking. They think chaotically. The solution is to slow down while speaking. By making pauses once in a while and breathing slowly, you can have a brief break to organize your speech. I find it quite helpful myself, because while talking fast without stopping, we may not be able to hear and analyze the words coming out of our mouths.5. Learn to listenPeople love attention no matter how much they deny it. Imagine a conversation where you are interrupted by the person you are talking to. You wouldn't like it, would you? Speaking properly is important, but listening properly is equally important. Effective communication is not possible without good listening. Listening with attention shows your respect towards the other person. Moreover, you might be able to sense what they really want to say and respond accordingly. Thus, you will be able to build the right connection. Who would not want to talk to you after that? You might be an all-knowing snob with amazing speaking skills but if you speak without listening to others, do not be surprised when people start avoiding you.6. Be positiveBack when I was a teenager, I had a friend who was always negative. After some time it bored and devastated me, so much that I decided to break the ties. Every day we face stressful situations, traffic jams, occupational stress and family issues. If we all fixate on those issues, we will all be devastated by negativity. Positive people, on the other hand, attract everyone around them and make them feel better about themselves. Communication coach Julian Treasure says in his TED speech that negativity is hard to tolerate after a while, and that positivity is what makes communication interesting.Becoming better at conversations might not be the easiest task, but if you work on these tips, it will surely pay off.
5 Ways to Reduce Occupational Stress and Start Loving Your Job
Professional life, no matter how much you love your job, can be stressful. Reasons for occupational stress can vary, from excessive workload to low salaries and problems with managers. Yet one thing is always true: both people and organizations are impacted negatively by stress in the workplace. As a person who was happily recruited by an executive search company, I have my own experience of coping with stress at work. Here are a few tips that might help you to overcome occupational stress. 5 Ways to Reduce Occupational Stress and Start Loving Your Job For fast-acting relief, try slowing down. - Lily Tomlin 1. Get physical There are tons of studies showing the positive impact of sports and other physical activities on human health, both physical and mental. The more you move, the less you get stressed. A few years ago, Harvard Health Publications published a report describing how people can cure themselves of stress and relax more by exercising. Of course, many might immediately complain that they don't have the time to exercise enough. But there are always ways to move more. I, for instance, prefer stairs to the elevator. My boss walks around the office when talking on the phone and arranges his meetings outside at a good walking distance from our office. You can do the same when talking on the phone. If you want a cup of coffee, go get it by yourself instead of asking your colleague. Or go for a walk after lunch, even if it's just around the office building. 2. Take a break Think of the last time when you worked non-stop for a few hours. How did you feel? Working non-stop might bore and stress you after some time, and working without breaks is not good for long-term productivity either. Even high-ranking managers like Robert C. Pozen acknowledge that the employees who spend the most time working are not the most productive ones. In order to keep calm and not get stressed, I usually take a break for a cup of coffee, read an article on one of the websites I follow, or talk to colleagues. That way, I refresh my mind and return to work more ready and eager. 3. Have an inspiring morning ritual Everybody has a morning ritual. Waking up in the morning and having a quick breakfast is one kind of morning ritual. It's better, however, to find a morning ritual that is going to make us more motivated and inspired throughout the day. Many think that a morning ritual is limited to out-of-work time. Not necessarily, writes Marcel Schwantes, founder of Leadership from the Core. He says that your morning ritual can start even at your office. I have tried many different ways to start a productive day: jogging, waking up early, reading emails first and organizing the daily schedule. However, none of those helped. Moreover, I got stressed instead of getting motivated. Gradually and over a long time, I found my own morning program that proved to be right: having a cup of coffee while listening to relaxing and inspirational music (90% of the time it is Ravel's Bolero). Later, I would continue by filling in my daily agenda. It is simple but works for me. 4. Get the most of your personal time We have both professional and personal lives that should be separated from each other for the sake of living a healthy and happy life. Dr. Shawn M. Burn writes in Psychology Today about the importance of maintaining work-life balance, saying that not only do we need to work on our non-work selves, but also have time for our well-being. Many people forget about this important rule and sooner or later find themselves in the vibrant chaos of work and home. It is important to work on your work-life balance. How to do that? Unplug. Turn off your computer, block your email notifications on your smartphone, and do not respond to incoming work-related calls. Enjoy your after-work time and weekend. Go somewhere, spend time with loved ones, and most importantly, spend time with yourself: read something, watch something, practice sports or a hobby. During lunch time, which is usually an hour, take all the time you need for a break. Eat your lunch slowly, enjoy it. If you finish it before your lunch time ends, then go for a walk or talk to colleagues. Do not rush back to your desk. 5. Take regular vacations Contrary to what you might think, working without a vacation is not going to get you anywhere good. First, no one is going to praise you for not taking a vacation. Second, your ability to work and deliver great results is only undermined by your depriving yourself of crucial vacation and relaxation time. Studies show that vacations are essential for improving productivity, preventing heart disease, improving sleep quality, and alleviating stress. I did not take a vacation for more than a year after being employed, because I believed I would accomplish more and advance my career. Yet after a year of working without vacation, I noticed that I was feeling down and was less able to work under pressure than I had been at the beginning. The problem was solved when I decided to plan a short trip to Europe. The few days spent away from work not only made me feel relaxed and happy, but allowed me to return to work with renewed enthousiasm, and to finish the year with better results. Nowadays, it seems stress is present in every aspect of our daily lives. It can affect us at home. It can affect us at work. It can even affect us while commuting between the two. It's time you started to prioritize your emotional well-being, and decided to stop letting stress get the best of you.