How to Be Happy: 10 Simple but Profound Daily Habits to Increase Happiness
No one would turn down the offer for more happiness, am I right? Happiness is one thing we cannot get enough of. We want happiness in all magnitudes and in all areas of our lives, including physical well being, emotional connections, financial abundance, steamy romance, loving and supportive family and friends — all leading to the overarching ideal of what we picture as Happiness with a capital H. However, the question of how exactly to gain a happy life for yourself doesn’t have a clear cut answer. Although it has led to the production of innumerable books, poems, documentations, scientific research and psychological studies throughout human history. In the end, the key to personal happiness remains somewhat of a mystery, leaving us wondering if there is a magical formula to a semi-permanent and lasting positive mood for us mere mortals here on earth.Life satisfaction: The mind-body connectionNot until more recent years did Western cultures begin to widely recognize the significance of our body, mind, and spirit connections and what that means for our mental health and overall happiness. Continued studies in psychology and neuroscience also confirms our environment and our thoughts have a direct linkage to our brain chemistry, responsible for signaling different sensations in our bodies. (The Good Brigade / Getty)This quick read in Psychology Today summarizes how our physical experience triggers the neurotransmitters in our nervous system and affects our mental health. In other words, our thoughts can affect hormone secretion which regulate our feelings and sensations.Mental health through fitnessIn short, how we take care of our physical body takes care of our mind which dictates our mood; and how we take care of our mental and emotional health takes care of our physical well being and our overall happiness. Taking care of this intricate balance forms the very foundation we build upon to gain everything we strive for, so we can achieve ultimate life satisfaction, one filled with positive emotions and a positive attitude.But how many people can truly say they are happy? According to an article from Greater Good Magazine by University of California, Berkeley, the 2019 World Happiness Report finds that people are feeling worse than ever before. Not only has a positive outlook been harder to achieve, but negative emotions are rising around the world, indicating a widening happiness gap. While this alarming news is something to be concerned with, the good news is, many of us with greater self-awareness now realize that happiness isn’t just something that happens to us, it is something we can create and maintain by positive habits. Fortunately, not all new habits have to cause drastic changes in your daily life. Sometimes, the simplest micro habits can make an impact for your overall happiness subtly but effectively. This can be true in many ways, whether you practice gratitude, upgrade your sleep routine, or find yourself enjoying the journey instead of always focusing on the destination.“When you fall in love with the process rather than the product, you don’t have to wait to give yourself permission to be happy. You can be satisfied anytime your system is running.”― JAMES CLEAR, AUTHOR OF ATOMIC HABITSWhat is happiness anyway?What truly constitutes the state of happiness? And how can we be sure it isn’t temporary, like many external pursuits can be? Consider this definition of happiness: Happiness is a feeling of contentment, that life is just as it should be. Perfect happiness, enlightenment, comes when you have all of your needs satisfied. Since the feeling of happiness and fulfillment is highly individualized, what makes one person happy doesn’t necessarily do the same for the other, I thought I would curate a list of habits that focuses on providing building blocks to support positive thoughts. This includes a heightened awareness and clarity of our surroundings and our personal journeys, greater self awareness, stress reduction, gratitude, and compassion, so you can achieve lasting happiness for exactly the way you’d like it.1. Begin your morning with an affirmationIt is important to set the tone for the rest of your day with a positive intention. Sometimes we can carry over the remnants of a grumpy mood from the day before or just from how we slept overnight. A loving and motivating affirmation will help you snap into a brand new day of possibilities. It is a way of practicing gratitude as a way of finding ways to be happier.Set aside a quiet minute first thing in the morning. Take a deep breath and say the affirmation out loud and let the intention sink in. This can be done before you even get out of bed. Depending on what you are currently working on, here are a few examples of affirmations:I am here to receive love, support, and guidance with an open heart and an open mind.I look forward to exploring all the opportunities this new day has to offer.I am safe. I have everything I need. I have nothing to fear.2. Move your body to avoid negative emotionsPhysical exercise is essential to our mental health as well as physical health. You are probably already familiar with the benefits of spending time doing physical exercise in general, and the increase of endorphin production in the body and the release of other feel-good chemicals such as dopamine and serotonin. You can move through stress, anxiety, or depression by staying physically active.Getting your body moving and warmed up first thing in the morning can also do wonders for your energy and mood on a daily basis. It doesn’t need to be an hour long workout or a 3-mile run. Just a quick 10-15 minute warm up routine or few sequences of vinyasas are sufficient to get the blood flowing and gently wake up your system.Moving your body throughout the day is also important so that blood continues to flow throughout the body delivering oxygen wherever it needs. Avoid sitting for a long period of time. At your lunch break, get up to turn your head, stretch, and change your position frequently throughout the day. This will not only relieve muscle fatigue but will also prevent brain fog, scatteredness, and promote better focus and concentration.Helpful tip: Create an alert twice a day on your calendar (Mine are set at 11am and 3pm) for a break to stretch, walk, or a quick solo dance session :)3. Smile for more happinessHow often do you find yourself smiling? When you walk past the mirror, do you catch yourself smiling or frowning? We’re not talking about a fake smile here, but a genuine, happy smile that screams “I’m living my best life!”Neuroscience researchers found that the pleasure we get from smiling is equivalent to eating 2,000 chocolate bars or receiving $25,000. Seriously! The simple act of smiling is kind of like a rainbow that appears over anyone’s cloudy day. The reason this is so has to do with the fact that our smile is directly linked to the brain, signaling us to do so when we receive stimuli of pleasure, amusement, or excitement. The reaction is autonomic and we simply can’t help ourselves. When we smile, even if it’s a bit forced sometimes, we signal back to the brain that we are experiencing more joy within ourselves, prompting the release of feel-good neurotransmitters such as dopamine. This is one instance of the “fake it till you make it” hypothesis I wouldn’t object — A smile will always do well to carry you through a happier life.4. Stay in the presentWise words from Lao Tzu states: “If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present.”We often get into trouble when we allow our mind to wander off worrying about something that hasn’t happened yet, or still jousting over what had happened last week that really bothered us. If we are able to reel ourselves back to the present moment, we will see that there is only what’s in front of us, nothing more, nothing less. It’s what we make of the present moment that truly matters. Our past is gone, and our future depends on the choices we make in the present moment.Helpful tip: If you catch yourself drifting off into a space other than the now, simply bring your attention back to the present moment. Take a deep breath and feel yourself grounded and centered where you are. Repeat as necessary. You may even think about starting a gratitude journal to center yourself and bring yourself back to the present.5. Meditate The popularity of meditation has exploded world wide because of its undeniable health benefits and contribution to overall happiness and success of each individual. Just a few minutes each day can reduce stress, relieve pain, increase focus and concentration, boost clarity, not to mention enhance intuition and connection to a higher purpose.(Pyrosky / Getty)All of which are factors contributing to deep, fulfilling, lifelong happiness. Many successful athletes, entrepreneurs, and public figures are known to meditate on a daily basis to help guide their careers and personal choices.Make meditation an important ritual of your day and you will find yourself more calm, peaceful, with a bigger capacity to give and receive happiness. If you have trouble getting started with meditation, this article from Soulove may bust a few myths about meditation and help you get started, especially if you have an overactive mind.6. Use positive language Much like our thoughts, our spoken words have a big influence on our happiness and our self esteem. When we express ourselves through our words, we output an energy associated with those words into the universe. And the universe, whether you see it or not, always responds. Some may call this The Law of Attraction. When thoughts become words, spoken out loud, creating sound, a measurable vibration released into your space, you can often feel or see an immediate reaction. That reaction can take the form of a smile, a friend’s comment, an uncomfortable silence, or more subtly, an inner joy, or a knot in your stomach. The Law of Attraction suggests we attract what we think and say most often, that we bring in what we put out, therefore, keeping our words positive will attract more positivity and happiness into our lives. A more practical explanation would be, positive words are truly important factors, and always lift up the atmosphere and make everyone around you feel happy. And that happiness will undoubtedly be returned to you one day, if not immediately.7. Eat on timeOne of the often overlooked habits that cause us more stress than our culture realizes is starving ourselves. This unhealthy habit has been glamourized by the beauty industry as well as pop culture in the past few decades. We associate food with being overweight and associate skipping meals as being health conscious or hard working. Starving ourselves, however, can cause stress in parts of our body, and affect our brain function as well.Eating on time and not allowing yourself to starve are good habits, and can invariably affect your overall mood and concentration. (The term “hangry” was not without validity). Having an established routine of eating at a certain time is a good way to manage your day with a fundamental activity we must all engage in.This simple routine will serve as an anchor to your busy day and set expectations of when you can take a break and enjoy some food. 8. Connect with nature Sure, spending money or getting a massage can be great, but have you tried immersing yourself in the healing energy of mother earth? It is an undisputed way to refresh your senses and destress from your daily grind.The wonderful feelings we experience from connecting with nature aren’t just because we’ve stepped away from our work environment or the majestic sights we often come across when in nature. They are backed by scientific reasoning in that we recharge by exposing ourselves to negative icons only found in natural elements. High concentrations of negative icons can be found in areas of mountains, ocean, waterfalls, lake, streams, dirt/earth, etc. We are typically surrounded by positive ions in our modern daily lives. Exposure to excess can have poor health consequences. When our environment and body are out of balance we experience fatigue, allergies, infections, and in severe cases, diseases. Positive icons are mostly concentrated indoors and are associated with household electronics, fluorescent lighting, metal, plastics, carpet, air pollution, etc. Here are a few quick and simple ways to spend some time with nature everyday:Gardening — potting repotting plants; pruning and trimming; harvestingWalking bare feet in a grassy parkWalking bare feet on a sandy beach, or swimming in a lakeHiking in a nature trailBreathe deeply where there is fresh air9. Let goWhen our days are bombarded with productivity, scheduling, and deadlines, a few things are bound to go unplanned, and misunderstandings and conflicts can happen. It’s important to realize that many things are outside of our control, but the one thing we can control is how we respond to them. Having a tool to successfully release feelings of anger, disappointment, and hurt is helpful when it comes to our overall happiness. It gives us the confidence we need to face any challenges in life without feeling like they can tear us down.Here is a quick and simple energy meditation to help you diffuse those feelings and bring you back to neutrality:Sit in a quiet space, eyes closed. Allow yourself to feel the uncomfortable feelings of anger or hurt in full. Identify each of those feelings with a color or shape (anything that comes to mind is okay. There is no wrong answer.) Put those colored shapes into a balloon and release it into the air when you are ready. Say goodbye to the balloon and watch it float farther and farther away until it pops and disappears.10. Give gratitudeGiving gratitude is one of the most important practices to welcome more happiness into our lives. This includes expressing gratitude to those who have helped you as well as acknowledging your own accomplishments in personal growth.Ending your day with gratitude is a mindful practice of how much there is to be grateful for despite the turn of events that can sometimes bring us down. Each night before bed, spend time writing down at least three things you are grateful for during the day. Even if it was just the smallest joy such as a hummingbird coming to visit your porch, habits like these can lead to increased happiness. Read the list outloud to yourself and end the session with a smile. This simple ritual will help focus more of what you want into your life and allow for what you don’t want to dissipate into the background. ConclusionConsistent practice of the simple habits above will in time become a regular routine in your daily life that helps you focus on the present moment and keeps the negative thoughts away. Even if you don’t see a difference immediately, you will notice subtle shifts in your clarity, focus, mood, self confidence, even health and energy level after consistent practice. (Getty)True happiness isn’t about what to do to instigate a feel-good moment but to remove all obstacles between you and all the gifts life has to offer.
How to Deal with Loneliness Inside and Out
There hasn’t been a test in a long time on our collective mental health and emotional stability quite like the one of the past 18 months. When the pandemic unexpectedly hit us in February of 2020 and was followed by a global travel ban and shutdown, we as a human race panicked. Suddenly, we’d been cut off from the many external resources such as entertainment, friendships, support groups, and other social interactions that would normally help us cope in a situation like this, or at least help distract us from a harsh reality.Cases of loneliness have been steadily on the rise in the last decade, and not surprisingly skyrocketed during the pandemic. According to an article from the Harvard Gazette, young adults and teens seem to be the hardest hit of the age groups, even more so than the elderly. The reason is they’re just on the verge of transitioning from their inherited family, but haven’t yet entered their chosen family. In other words, most of them are still single and without everyday companionship of a spouse or partner.But one can argue combating loneliness isn’t exclusive to those who are single and unattached. Even in marriages and committed relationships, many adults experience feelings of loneliness, sometimes just as intensely as someone who is single, or even more so. Since the expectations of intimacy and emotional fulfillment are attached to having a spouse or partner, it would cause each person to feel disappointed and lonely if they’re not on the same page. The feeling of loneliness in that scenario is likely amplified.It’s evident loneliness isn’t just from a lack of physical companionship. The state of our mental health is also a factor why some of us don’t deal with loneliness as well as others. As society as a whole grows to have a deeper sense of the body-mind-spirit connections, we begin to understand how our physical state can affect our psychological state, which can affect our emotional state and vice versa. The good news is, we now also have an understanding that overcoming loneliness and many other mental and emotional distresses can be taught and learned. It’s a skill like any other that can be acquired through some practice. Ready to transform your loneliness? Start reading!Identifying types of lonelinessBefore we can dive into the what and hows of dealing with loneliness, we need to first understand the reasons why we feel lonely. And this goes beyond the inspiration we can find when reading loneliness quotes. Since the degree and complexity of loneliness can vary with each person, a fair amount of self observation and reflection is required. The more we get to know ourselves and our circumstances, the more we’ll understand our own needs and how to fulfill them. The dictionary definition of Loneliness describes it as simply “feeling sad or unhappy because one has no friends or company.”However, anyone who has experienced more than a few days of loneliness can probably attest it’s never as simple and straightforward as that. There can be many triggers to feeling lonely and each trigger can bring up a different emotion. It varies from person to person. For example, for a person who is single, to see a happy couple walk by can trigger feelings of sadness and sink into a depression; yet a different person who is also single may feel anxiousness instead and become eager to seek companionship. So it’s just as important to pay attention to how we respond to our loneliness triggers as much as the type of loneliness we experience.“Loneliness is not lack of company, loneliness is lack of purpose.” – GUILLERMO MALDONADO 1. Physical lonelinessThis is a common type of loneliness with an urge for physical connection. One side of the spectrum can be the need to have another physical body close by — just someone we can share our moments with. The other side of the spectrum is the need for physical affection such as hugging, kissing, and sex. (Robert Reed / Getty)As shown by years of psychological and neurological studies, a mental health professional will tell you that physical affection from another human releases oxytocin and reduces cortisol (the stress hormone), therefore nurturing relaxation and trust with others. The power of the physical touch is deeply healing.Physical loneliness is usually short-lived, based on the amount of interactions with other people.2. Mental lonelinessMany people crave intellectual connections, whether it’s chatting about what happens throughout the day with a family member, communicating what goes on in our minds to help us feel connected, or discussing matters of the world with others. With the amount of upheavals and uncertainties the world has seen in the last 18 months, there’s no doubt this would be an important aspect of releasing pent-up thoughts and concerns. Not being able to would likely cause confusion, frustration, social anxiety, anger, and could even negatively affect our physical health.Mental loneliness can vary from short-lived to chronic loneliness, based on the quality of interactions and individual needs.3. Emotional lonelinessFor those who operate more on an emotional level, empathetic relationships will play an important role. Most of us feel the need to express our feelings in response to what happens in our lives. In this case, rather than processing external information logically, we feel it more on a primal level — emotionally and intuitively. Regardless of how logical a person may be, there’ll always be a situation where an emotional response is triggered. Not receiving positive emotional feedback can result in feeling sad, lonely, and disconnected. Emotional loneliness can be short-lived, but can certainly become chronic if the experience is prolonged. It can even last a lifetime if we are unaware of it and accept it as a way of life. 4. Spiritual lonelinessThis is a type of loneliness not often talked about, and the reason is that it is far more elusive, and lives in the deeper part of our psyche. Most of us have probably had moments of sensing something, but we just can’t quite put our finger on it. They say a person’s spiritual journey is alone, but I can confidently say from experience that while each of us is on our own path, it is possible to have those by our side who understand our deepest desires and purpose in life. For some, the pursuit of spiritual alignment based on purpose, belief, and practice is of the utmost importance. Not having someone who understands or shares similar spiritual pursuits can leave us feeling empty and unfulfilled.Spiritual loneliness can vary from short-lived or chronic, though that depends highly on someone’s own spiritual pursuits and level of consciousness.Now the big question: How to stop feeling lonely?If you’re new to the loneliness space, this can be a scary and intense feeling. But not to worry, everyone at one point or another has experienced some type of loneliness, and to eventually make efforts to combat loneliness. It is ingrained in us to connect with family members and friends, as well as life forms all around us. If you’re experiencing chronic loneliness and have lived with feeling lonely most of your life, also not to worry, this too shall pass. You can acquire the tools to help you get to where you want to be. Sometimes the very idea of permanence is what keeps us stuck in a loop of self-pity, which perpetuates the feeling of loneliness. Let’s get you out of there! It’s not impossible to overcome loneliness (and other mental health issues) when you have the right tools.“Loneliness is proof that your innate search for connection is intact.”– MARTHA BECK1. Feel lonely? Creating opportunities for more social interactionsIf your loneliness falls somewhere between physical and mental illness, then increasing social interactions and forming new relationships would likely help your overall well being.As most adults graduate from college and are no longer provided with the constant social interaction that is so typical of that part of our lives, connecting with a nearly identical demographic, making friends and maintaining friendships. Now, after college, to do the same thing can take more effort. Our goals and priorities may have also shifted during the course of our transition into a different lifestyle.In order to draw more people into our lives, we need to develop a comfortable set of social skills. While this may seem elementary, having good social common sense and etiquette is a valuable skill to have. After all, relationships are about being able to relate to one another.Here are some helpful tips if you are ready to welcome new friends into your life:Let others know you feel lonely and are looking for more friendsSay “yes” to invitationsKeep an open mind to new interests and activitiesLook for commonalities rather than differences between friendsMake plans to get together and follow through in your existing relationshipsBe respectful of others’ boundaries and be honest about your own boundariesDon’t force it2. Form deeper connections The feeling of not being understood in our own life can cause the bulk of our emotional loneliness, can lead to negative feelings and affect our general mental health over time. The language of our emotions is unique to the individual and doesn’t always make logical sense. And it usually takes more than a few casual get-togethers to share that part of us, especially if you’re shy to begin with. If you constantly feel you’re alone and no one understands you, there could be a number of reasons, such as:You’re surrounded by people who don’t really listen or hear youYou’re surrounded by people who can’t relate to what you’re saying because they lack personal experienceYou haven’t developed the skills to articulate exactly how you feel to othersYou haven’t been open and honest in telling others about your feelings because you fear resentment or judgmentYou’ve given up letting yourself be known because you have accepted and expect that “no one will understand”If you can identify with one or all of the above then you can try doing the following :Change your environmentPlace yourself in a safe space. Surround yourself with people who listen and provide genuine support and encouragementSharpen your communication skillsDo this through the practice of describing your feelings and emotions as often and accurately as possible. The more you fine-tune your ability to communicate, the more people will relate and understand where you’re coming from.Practice vulnerabilityDon’t be afraid to talk about your personal experiences, history, struggles, etc. The only way to form deeper and more meaningful connections is by putting yourself out there. It is also a way to filter out those who are not on the same page as you.3. Protect your mental health: Develop a routine of inward-focused practicesContinuing your journey of self-discovery will always benefit your quest to feel less lonely. If you are a person that experiences loneliness for many years, and have always felt unfulfilled no matter what, then it may be wise to lean into this time and learn to love your own company. A routined inward-focused practice will help you confront the shadow parts of yourself you’ve not been willing to face in the past. Journaling or free writing can be a liberating experience for anyone. Begin by journaling every night and write down anything that comes to mind, without filter or judgment. You can also carry a small pocket journal wherever you go during the day to write whenever you need to. End each session with a quiet minute noticing how you feel afterward.Develop a consistent practice of yoga, breathwork, or meditation. These practices enhance body, mind, spirit connections and allow for us to set aside some time for stillness and pay attention to what’s happening inside. With consistent practice, you will notice more calmness, focus, and presence.(Westend61 / Getty)Practice gratitude every day. Even if there’s only one person who is there for you, willing to talk to you when you need it, or cares about your happiness, then you have more love in your life than many others. Acknowledge who those people are. Cherish those relationships and express your gratitude toward them whenever possible. Doing so will open the space to invite more of them into your life. 4. How to cope with loneliness: overcoming mental conflicts or obstaclesSometimes our feelings of loneliness live only in our minds, when in reality, we may be surrounded by those who are more than willing to listen and spend time with us. Childhood or ancestral traumas could cause our self-esteem to take a beating at an early age and prevent us from receiving love from others as an adult. Societal norms can also place confusion and restraint on the way we connect with others, causing us to feel trapped and alienated. If that sounds familiar, reprogramming your mind and filling it with positive thoughts will likely create a big shift in your social as well as romantic life.Acknowledge your fearsAcknowledge fears and insecurities that may be holding you back. Some of the common obstacles for many are fear of rejection and fear of being judged. The emotional ramifications of being judged and rejected harshly are enough to keep us in our shells and hide our truths. Bravely recognizing and confronting those fears will gradually free us from the cage we’ve unintentionally built around us. It’s not always about you. When you do experience rejection and judgment from others, like we inevitably will, know that it’s not always about what you said, what you did, or who you are. We’re each responsible for maintaining our own balance, peace, and boundaries. How others react are their choices and are out of your control. Not everyone will click with you and that’s okay. The universe will always provide those who will if you leave that door open.Give up control and allow for relationships to naturally unfold. Sometimes we get so hung up on the exact type of relationship we’re looking for, we stifle the potential for them to grow and become something wonderful. Nurture the connection you do share, and don’t focus on what you don’t have. Use mantras and affirmations 3 times a day. Choose a positive phrase that resonates with what you’re currently working on, such as: “I welcome new relationships into my life without resistance” or “I feel lonely right now, but it does not define my life and my future.”Dealing with loneliness: ConclusionRegardless of your current circumstance and the intensity of loneliness you feel, when you understand that feeling lonely is really just feeling disconnected, you’ll better be able to navigate through your current state of mind knowing there is always a way out. Whether you can do that on your own, with the help of a professional, through some sort of employee assistance program or support group at work, there are always options to explore. Ultimately, finding your way to a meaningful and fulfilling life may look unattainable right now, but it’s the life we’re all meant to live — it’s our only destination. The choice of inviting others into our lives or keeping them out has always been ours. (Lucy Lambriex / Getty)We each have the power to create as many meaningful connections in life as we like, if we choose to.