Why We Need To Talk About Kim Petras—the First Trans Woman to Win a Grammy
Of the dozens of Grammys bestowed upon stars this year, the winner who stands out boldly from the rest is Kim Petras, as she became the first openly transgender woman to win the prestigious award. Petras, along with non-binary singer Sam Smith, won Best Pop Duo/Group Performance for their sexy, chart-topping song, "Unholy." RELATED: Elliot Page’s 6 Most Important Lessons about Authenticity for Trans and Cisgender PeopleFrom her youth spent in a small town in Germany to come out as trans, to her start in the music industry to her historical Grammys win, here is Kim Petras's story, and how she brings inspiration to her fans—both cis and trans alike.Kim Petras's Music Career, from Performing at Gay Clubs in Germany to Commanding the Stage at the Grammys@kimpetras/InstagramKim Petras was born and raised in Cologne, a city in Germany. She was assigned male at birth, but knew from a young age that she was a girl. In her early teenage years, she appeared on a German documentary which detailed her transition. The documentary was wildly insensitive—and at times, outright offensive—about her identity. Petras says, "became a joke as a 12-year-old on TV." She was harassed by strangers and bullied by her peers. She became suicidal and spent her days hidden in her room, turning to pop music for solace. Inspired by the likes of Madonna, the Spice Girls, Cher and Britney Spears, Petras dedicated her days to songwriting and singing. At 14, Petras began performing in gay clubs, the only place she said she could be herself. At 19, she moved to Los Angeles to break into the music industry. She released her debut single, "I Don't Want It at All," in 2017. RELATED: Marvel Finally Revealed a Superhero as Queer in Thor: Love and Thunder – And That’s CrucialEarly in Petras's career, Sam Smith reached out via Instagram DM, expressing they wanted to collab with her. Years later in 2022, the duo released "Unholy." The song became so popular it reached number one on the Billboard Hot 100, making Petras and Smith the first trans woman and non-binary person, respectively, to top the charts.On Sunday, Petras and Smith accepted their Grammy award. Smith graciously gave Petras the stage for the acceptance speech. In the speech, Petras thanked "the incredible transgender legends performing who kicked these doors open for me so I could be here tonight," and Sophie, a trans woman and musician whom Petras had collaborated with who passed away two years ago. She honored Madonna, for "fighting for LGBTQ rights." She praised her "Unholy" co-singer, Smith, for their unwavering support. And she honored her mother, who she said, "believed me that I was a girl and I wouldn't be here without her and her support." How Kim Petras Inspires Both Her Trans and Cis Fans Alike@kimpetras/InstagramThe significance of Petras winning this prestigious award cannot be overstated. Petras's success is an inspiration to trans and queer people everywhere, proving that transgender people can shine, even in a hostile world.RELATED: What is ‘Queerbaiting’ and Is Billie Eilish Guilty of It?Petras is conscious of her trans identity, and while she wants to be a light to the trans community, she also wants to showcase who she is outside of gender. In an interview with Billboard, she says, "Do I talk about being transgender in interviews and stuff like that, or then does everything become about me being transgender? Does the trans community not feel like I’m talking about it enough? Things like that are difficult, but we’re figuring it out. I just always want to make people feel good about themselves with my music.” With her rise in popularity, it's clear that Petras is doing just that—making everyone, both cis and trans, feel good through her musical talent and unapologetic personality. And she's only getting started.KEEP READING: At 64, Madonna Upsets Everyone With a World Tour—Proving She Doesn’t Care What You Think
What is 'Queerbaiting' and Is Billie Eilish Guilty of It?
Last year, singer Billie Eilish came under fire for her "Lost Cause" music video and an accompanying Instagram post. "I love girls," read her caption. To some, this might've seemed like a simple appreciation post for women. But for others, it sparked the question, "Is Billie Eilish coming out as part of the LGBTQ community?" The answer is no, she did not, and her heterosexual relationship history suggests she's straight. Of course, that's not a problem whatsoever; what people found problematic was that her actions came across as queerbaiting. RELATED: Billie Eilish Revealed a Secret, ‘Really Weird’ Condition – And How It Makes Her StrongerThis Billie Eilish controversy has contributed to the larger queerbaiting discourse, which has become more prominent in recent years. But what is queerbaiting, why is it problematic, and is Billie Eilish guilty of it? What Is Queerbaiting? Queerbaiting is defined as, "a marketing technique for fiction and entertainment in which creators hint at, but then do not actually depict, same-sex romance or other LGBT representation." Creators will queerbait in order to attract the widest audience possible, drawing in a queer audience while still retaining homophobic viewers who don't want to watch shows or films depicting overtly gay relationships. This is problematic, because media creators who participate in queerbaiting are essentially profiting off of the LGBTQ community while not actually contributing to them in a significant way. They queer-code their characters, add homoerotic friendships that remain perpetually platonic, or insert other forms of queer subtext. Examples of queerbaiting include the relationship between Luca and Alberto in Disney's Luca, Betty and Veronica in Riverdale, and Finn and Poe Dameron in the recent Star Wars installments. Some people believe that real people, not just fictional characters, can serve as queerbait, too, thus the criticism of Eilish. Another example of a public figure scrutinized for queerbaiting is Harry Styles. RELATED: Halle Berry’s Hilarious Reaction To The Little Mermaid Mix Up Is a Must SeeMany in the LGBTQ community feel they're being taken advantage of or manipulated by companies that release queerbait media. They're drawn in by queer subtext only to be let down upon realizing the creators never intended to provide true queer representation. In this way, many queer fans felt baited by Eilish's "Lost Cause" video. The Billie Eilish Queerbaiting Controversy, ExplainedIn June of 2021, Billie Eilish released the music video for her song, "Lost Cause." The video shows what appears to be a fun girls' night or sleepover. Billie and a group of young women play Twister, dance in the kitchen while eating candy and drinking, and lay with each other on a bed, all to the tune of Eilish's catchy beat. While the scenes could be interpreted as several close friends hanging out, there is a lot of sensual, sapphic subtext that alludes to more. RELATED: How Dance Moms Star JoJo Siwa Overcame Hate to Become a Powerful LGBTQ+ IconFor instance, Eilish and her friends snuggle on the bed, swaying together to the beat, hands on each others' bodies. Their Twister game is equally as sensual at times. Eilish even shares a small kiss with another girl as the group dances in the kitchen.Again, all of these things can be done platonically, but some viewers felt the sensuality was giving sapphic undertones reason to believe she was hinting at queerness or bisexuality. The Many Sides of the Billie Eilish Queerbaiting DebateOnce the video reached audiences, speculative murmurs of Eilish's sexuality began spreading on social media, which was further exacerbated by Eilish's Instagram post. The post featured behind-the-scenes photos of her and the other women with the caption, "I love girls." To add fuel to the fire, both the music video and the Instagram post were released during Pride Month, further reinforcing the public's notion that this was Eilish's coming-out. "[D]id billie eilish just freaking come out?!...if this is another case of queerbaiting i'm suing," a fan posted on Twitter. RELATED: Popular Examples of Gender-Neutral Celebrity Baby Names – And Why They’re ImportantOne user replied, "Can't she say she loves girls and be straight?" Another retorted, "Her sexuality is none of your business." And yet another user commented, "Can’t a human experiment [with] their sexuality without the need of labelling? Why do we assume everyone has to be straight until proven otherwise? Less labels more love."These are all valid points. Women can love other women in platonic ways; nobody owes anyone else an explanation for their identity or sexuality; and folks can explore their sexuality as they see fit. Thus, many fans brushed the queerbaiting accusations aside. But others that felt baited expressed their opinions online, too. RELATED: Why Adam Levine’s Sexting Affair Is No Joke – It’s Deeply DisturbingA fan on Twitter who self-identified as a lesbian provided her opinion with this Tweet: "(I’ve loved billie since 2018) her music video “lost cause” wasn’t queerbaiting. however, her post after the fact was annoying. she captioned her post “i love girls”. i 100% think that’s queerbaiting..." LGBTQ public figures also weighed in on the matter. YouTuber Samantha Lux, who is a transgender woman, said she didn't think Eilish was queerbaiting. Rather, the "Lost Cause" video was about "finding a sense of comfort and finding a sense of intimacy with your close friends," Lux suggested. On the other hand, another YouTuber, Kristina Maione, who is pansexual, felt queerbaited, and shared her frustration in her YouTube video.RELATED: Justin Bieber Ranks #2 in the World for Something That Will Shock His Haters"Billie Eilish promoted that video, being like, 'I like girls, and look at us girls licking each other, and all over each other,' and then promoting that to her millions of followers, getting millions of views, and probably making millions of dollars off of it," Maione said in her YouTube video. This feeling of exploitation is the problem that Maoine and many other LGBTQ fans had with the music video and Instagram post. To them, it felt like Eilish was profiting off of their identities. Maione adds that Eilish's song "was planned and produced and put out there into the world during Pride Month, it's like the epitome of queerbaiting, the epitome of exploitation of a marginalized queer community." Maione's words reflect what many other LGBTQ-identified folks feel, not only about Billie Eilish, but about queerbait media in general. While some are hurt by what they feel is exploitation, others remain unbothered. Ultimately, it's fair to say that the Billie Eilish queerbaiting controversy is subjective. However, it can be said that queerbaiting overall is hurtful to the LGBTQ community. In a world where queer folks are still fighting for their rights, adequate queer representation is needed now more than ever -- not for exploitative profit, but for the support and love of the LGBTQ community. KEEP READING: Elliot Page’s 6 Most Important Lessons about Authenticity for Trans and Cisgender People
Caffeine Addiction 101: Everything You Need to Know
Caffeine might currently be the most ubiquitous substance in western society. In fact, 62% of Americans drink coffee every day, and, on average, drink about three cups daily. One might look at those statistics and think, It's just coffee -- how harmful can that be? Well, when consumed in excess, it can be addictive and lead to negative physical and mental health consequences. Caffeine might not be as devastating as addictive substances like alcohol and drugs, but nevertheless, it's beneficial to consider its affects -- both positive and negative -- and evaluate how it might be impacting you.RELATED: What Is BeReal – And Is the ‘Authenticity-Focused’ Social Media App Really Healthier Than Instagram?Here is a guide to caffeine addiction, what it is, how it affects the body, signs of addiction and how to quit caffeine entirely or reduce consumption.What Is Caffeine Addiction, and Is It Even Real? While caffeine isn't addictive in the way drugs, alcohol and other substances are, one can develop an unhealthy dependency on it, just as an addict develops a dependency on their desired substance. Like other drugs or substances, the more a person uses caffeine, the less effective it becomes. Eventually, the person develops a tolerance and must consume more to obtain the desired effects.Caffeine is most known for its ability to "wake" a person up in the morning. While caffeine might help a person feel more alert, it doesn't wake someone up in the way one might think it does. Caffeine is a stimulant to the central nervous system that, upon consumption, quickly absorbs into the brain and promotes a feeling of alertness. This is because the substance blocks the brain's sleep-promoting receptors known as adenosine receptors. Caffeine can do this because, on a molecular level, it looks similar to adenosine, a molecule in the body that usually binds to these receptors to help regulate the sleep/wake cycle. Though most people think of coffee when they think of caffeine, the substance is found in many other products. Other common sources include soda, tea, chocolate, energy drinks and some over-the-counter pain medications, just to name a few. When consumed mindfully, caffeine can still be enjoyable and even beneficial. The FDA recommends keeping caffeine consumption to around 400 milligrams (equivalent to about four cups of coffee) per day.How Caffeine Affects Your Health, Your Body and Your BrainCaffeine is not all bad. There is scientific evidence promoting both the beneficial and detrimental effects of caffeine. However, it's important to know the risks one might encounter when consuming any substance. First, caffeine has been shown to have an effect on pregnancy. A 2017 study found a correlation between miscarriage and the amount of caffeine the pregnant person consumes; however, it does not influence fertility. RELATED: Are You at Risk of Exercise Addiction?Additionally, overconsumption of caffeine can be found in other mental illnesses, such as bipolar disorder, depression, sleep disorders, eating disorders and schizophrenia. Some research shows that excessive caffeine consumption could cause the lower chambers of the heart (ventricles) to skip beats. However, the good news is that caffeine doesn't cause irregularities the upper chambers of the heart (atria).Signs of Caffeine AddictionAn overconsumption of caffeine becomes an addiction when it begins to affect one's ability to function in everyday life. Again, while caffeine use disorder is not an official diagnosis, the DSM-5 (Diagnostic Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders), it has been placed under Conditions for Further Study. According to the DSM-5, here are the criteria that must be present to determine if one has a caffeine problem: Heart, stomach and urinary issuesInsomniaIrritabilityDepression and anxietyDifficulty thinkingWithdrawal Inability to control, reduce or eliminate useContinued use despite harm Who Should Avoid Caffeine? For some populations, caffeine should limited. These include: People who are pregnant or breastfeedingChildrenPeople with anxiety disordersPeople who have chronic headaches or migrainesThose with a sleep disorderRELATED: Billie Eilish Revealed a Secret, ‘Really Weird’ Condition – And How It Makes Her StrongerThose who take certain stimulants, such as heart medicinesPeople who have high blood pressurePeople with a fast/irregular heartbeatThose who have GERD or ulcersPeople with the mental disorders previously mentioned in the "Signs of Caffeine Addiction" section of this article should be wary of caffeine overconsumption also, as it can exacerbate their symptoms.Caffeine Withdrawal and SymptomsPeople who quit caffeine after addiction to it could experience caffeine withdrawal, a medically recognized condition that can be characterized by the following symptoms: Low energyIrritabilityHeadacheTremorsAnxietyRELATED: Amber Heard’s Histrionic Personality Disorder Diagnosis Is Vital to Understanding Celebrity CultureFatigueNauseaConstipationDifficulty concentrating Depressed moodDecreased energyDecreased motor activityUnlike other substances, caffeine withdrawal symptoms only last for around 7-12 days and the recovery period overall is relatively short. During that time, the brain will reduce the number of adenosine receptors Tips for Quitting Caffeine In order to minimize withdrawal symptoms, the best way to quit caffeine is to taper off gradually. Stopping consumption abruptly will exacerbate withdrawal symptoms, leading the person to start using caffeine again to avoid them, and the cycle continues. This article suggests slowly decreasing the number of coffees, teas, energy drinks, etc. one consumes in a day. Then, start substituting these for decaffeinated equivalents. For example, one could alternate between regular and decaf coffee every other day until they're able to switch to decaf fully. If done successfully, caffeine should only take about 2 to 3 weeks.
'Cancel Culture' Almost Killed Constance Wu - Her Comeback Is a Significant Lesson for Everyone
Constance Wu of Crazy Rich Asians and The Terminal List recently returned to social media after a three year hiatus. A vulnerable post on her Twitter account on July 14 revealed the reason for her absence: her mental health had severely declined after she was "canceled" on social media in 2019, causing her to attempt suicide. RELATED: Will Smith’s New Apology Video and What Chris Rock Teaches Us About NOT Being a VictimAfter seeking therapy, Wu is slowly reclaiming her story, and her comeback can serve as an encouraging lesson for everyone.Why Was Constance Wu Canceled? Before 2018's Crazy Rich Asians elevated the actress to prominence, Wu played the matriarch of an Asian American family in ABC's 2015 sitcom, Fresh Off the Boat (FOTB). In 2019, ABC announced FOTB would be returning for its sixth season. In response to this announcement, Wu posted a string of tweets: "F*****g hell," one of her Tweets read. "So upset right now that I'm literally crying. Ugh. F**k," another read.RELATED: Bella Hadid’s Toxic Relationship with Alcohol Is a Lesson for Immediate ChangeWu's words gave the impression that she was unenthused at the prospect of returning to her FOTB role. Consequently, the actress received harsh backlash from FOTB viewers. The show meant a lot to Asian American fans; FOTB provided Asian American media representation that was and is so lacking in film and television, so it's understandable that fans were upset seeing one of its lead actors post negatively about it. Fans and others in the Hollywood industry now saw Wu as ungrateful, spoilt by her Crazy Rich Asians fame. One Asian actress even went so far to say that Wu had "become a blight on the Asian American community." Constance Wu Mental Health Drastically DeclinesWu tried to clarify her tweets, admitting that her words were "ill-timed." She said she loved FOTB, but was disappointed at the news of its renewal because it meant she'd have to give up another project she was excited about.However, the internet shaming continued. And while her Twitter followers saw words exchanged on their screens, they didn't see the actress slowly breaking on the other side. Eventually, her mental health took a nosedive, driving the actress to attempt suicide. RELATED: The Real Reason Serena Williams Quit Tennis Is a Bittersweet Lesson in SacrificeThankfully, she was saved after a friend found her and got her to a hospital in time. However, this was a wakeup call for Wu, a sign that she needed to step back from the public eye. She deleted her social media accounts, took a break from Hollywood and started seeing a therapist. Now, three years post-attempt, she's slowly started to reenter the spotlight.Constance Wu Has Returned, and She's 'Making a Scene'On July 14, Constance Wu posted from a new Twitter account, @ConstanceWu, a vulnerable explanation of where she'd been, why she'd left, and her behind-the-scenes struggle. "I was afraid of coming back on social media because I almost lost my life from it: 3 years ago, when I made careless tweets about the renewal of my TV show, it ignited outrage and internet shaming that got pretty severe. I felt awful about what I'd said, and when a few DMs from a fellow Asian actress told me I'd become a blight on the Asian American community, I started feeling like I didn't even deserve to live anymore. That I was a disgrace to AsAms, and they'd be better off without me." RELATED: Rebel Wilson’s Latest Comments on Body Shaming Expose a Dangerous Problem in Our SocietyWu elaborates on her Asian heritage, reflecting on how "AsAms don't talk about mental health enough. While we're quick to celebrate representation wins, there's a lot of avoidance around the more uncomfortable issues within our community." Further, Wu said it hurt when her "AsAm colleagues decided that was the time to avoid [her]," in reference to when the internet shaming sent her into a downward spiral. "[B]ut it also made me realize how important it is to reach out and care for people who are going through a hard time," she added"That's why I wrote my book and why I'm here today," the actress elaborated. "[T]o reach out and help people talk about the uncomfortable stuff." The book she's referencing is called "Making a Scene," which details her experience growing up in a culture where she wasn't allowed to express her feelings. Constance Wu's Example and How Anyone Can 'Make a Scene' TooThough her journey was no doubt difficult and painful, her story and comeback can serve as an inspiration to everyone. First, in communities of color, especially the Asian American community, which Wu writes about, talking about mental health or emotions is not encouraged, and going to therapy is shameful. For anyone who feels ashamed that they are struggling with their mental health, the actress is a beacon of hope. Though she was raised in a culture that told her to bottle up her emotions, she was able to break that cycle and get the help she deserved. Additionally, Wu's decision to write about and publish her story in "Making a Scene" is admirable, and a valiant act of reclamation. She doesn't owe anyone an explanation for her absence, yet she's willing to publish her journey to help others. She's taking back her power from a dark situation by sharing her narrative and telling her side of the story. RELATED: Stranger Things Addresses Depression and Mental Health in the Most Crucial WayOf course, this is not to say everyone has to write a book in order to reclaim their story. There are many ways to go about doing this. Reclamation can be re-engaging in a hobby or passion once enjoyed. It can be seeking therapy, or creating art that tells the story of one's mental health journey. It can be writing a list of one's values and living life according to those. It can be choosing to take medication under the guidance of a licensed psychiatrist. It can be writing out a mental health "timeline," a long journal entry or bullet points of significant moments in one's life that lead to where they are today. These acts of reclamation can be public, like Wu, or private.All of these things can serve to help a person process their experiences and reclaim their story and parts of their life their mental illness took from them. However, vulnerability is necessary in any emotional healing process. As Wu wrote in her recent Twitter post, "If we want to be seen, really seen...we need to let all of ourselves be seen, including the parts we're scared of or ashamed of--parts that, however imperfect, require care and attention." KEEP READING: Stranger Things Addresses Depression and Mental Health in the Most Crucial Way
