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  • Natasha Burton

    Natasha Burton is a freelance writer and relationship expert who has written for Cosmopolitan, Maxim, Women’s Health, Livestrong and Brides, among other publications. She’s the author of What's My Type?: 100+ Quizzes to Help You Find Yourself―and Your Match!, 101 Quizzes for Couples, 101 Quizzes for BFFs and 101 Quizzes for Brides and Grooms, and the coauthor of The Little Black Book of Big Red Flags.
Over 100 Questions to Ask a Girl You Have a Crush On
Motivation

Over 100 Questions to Ask a Girl You Have a Crush On

Okay, so you have a crush. Awesome. Now, what questions to ask a girl to encourage her to like you back? Breaking the ice can be tough but when you ask a girl fun questions, you can start to bridge the gap between like and love. Interesting questions can be great conversation starters whether you’re chatting online or on your first date. (Even a well timed silly question can really get the conversation flowing.) As your relationship progresses, you can move from fun questions to deep questions and learn all sorts of interesting answers about each other. RELATED: How To Handle Emotional Cheating In A RelationshipRead on for some great ideas of questions to ask a girl you like. Questions to Ask a Girl (Photo by Mitch Walker on Unsplash)Below are over 100 questions to ask a girl you have a crush on to get the ball rolling on your relationship. Start with some fun questions and then move on to deeper questions as you get to know each other better. Flirty questionsWhat’s the worst pickup line someone has ever used on you?Do you believe in love at first sight?What would your best friend think about me?What is your ideal boyfriend like?RELATED: How to End a Relationship: A 5-Step Guide to Breaking up and Letting GoWhat’s the hottest thing a guy can do or say?What’s your favorite thing for a guy to wear?What do you think is the sexiest thing about you?What’s your biggest turn on?What’s your biggest turn off?Hobbies and fun questionsWhat do you like to do for fun?What’s your best skill?What hobby or skill would you like to learn or get better at?What hobby have you tried that you totally suck at?Do you prefer to do things outdoors or indoors?Do you like to do hobbies with other people or by yourself?Have you ever tried a new hobby or activity for an ex-boyfriend?How much time do you typically devote to hobbies and leisure time?What TV show are you binging right now?What’s your idea of a perfect day?What hobby have you tried that you hated and will never do again?Do you like sporty hobbies or crafty hobbies?Favorite things questionsWhat’s your favorite dish to cook (or eat)?What’s your favorite memory?What is your favorite movie?What’s your favorite song?What’s your favorite place to travel to?What’s your favorite place that you’ve lived?RELATED: 7 Deep Questions Every Woman Must Ask Her Romantic Partner – And What The Answers MeanWhat’s your favorite book?What’s your favorite color?Who is your favorite person?Who is your favorite fictional character?What’s your favorite candy?What’s your favorite sport?Who’s your favorite Disney princess?What’s your favorite smell or scent?What’s your favorite holiday?What’s your favorite season?Silly or random questions(Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash)If you could have a super power what would it be?What’s the silliest joke you’ve ever heard?What’s the best practical joke you’ve ever pulled on someone?If you could pick any animal to have for a pet what would it be?Do you read your horoscope or believe in astrology?Have you ever gone to a psychic?What would you like to be reincarnated as?Would you rather questionsWould you rather stay up all night playing video games or watching movies?Would you rather go out on Friday nights or stay in?Would you rather have a ton of acquaintances or one super close best friend?Would you rather lose your sense of hearing or your sense of smell?RELATED: 5 Ways to Know You’ve Found the Right Partner — and 5 Things to Do If You Haven’tWould you rather be able to fly or be able to breathe underwater?Would you rather retire early or work only four days a week?Would you rather be able to go back in time or see the future?Would you rather eat cake or pie?Relationships questionsWhat are your top relationship goals?What are you looking for in a romantic partner?Do you believe that two people can stay together for the rest of their lives?What’s the worst thing that’s happened to you in a relationship?Do you believe in soul mates?Have you ever been in love?Have you ever said “I love you” to someone?What are your relationships with your exes like?Why do you think your past relationships never worked out?Family questions(Photo by Jarritos Mexican Soda on Unsplash)How would you describe your family?How important is family in your life?Does your family have a nickname for you?What’s your most interesting story about your family?What are your relationships with your parents like?If you have siblings, what are your relationships with them like?What do you love most about your family?What annoys you most about your family?What is your favorite family tradition?Who is your favorite person in your family?Who’s the weirdest person in your family?Who do you turn to in your family for advice?How does your family celebrate holidays and milestones?Are you interested in having kids someday?What are your top three goals for your future family?Work and career questionsWhat do you like about your current job?What’s the most frustrating part about your current job?Where do you see your career in five years?What would your dream job be?What do you think is a healthy work life balance?If you didn’t have to work what would you do instead?Have you ever pulled an all nighter for work?What would your younger self think about your job?RELATED: The 5 Love Languages, How Do You Speak Them – And Which One Is Right for You?What do your parents think about the career path you’ve chosen?Do you ever wish you went into a different industry or down another career path?Would you ever go back to school or change careers?If you could start your own company what would it be?Childhood questions(Photo by Wiktor Karkocha on Unsplash)What was your most embarrassing moment from when you were a kid?Who was your celebrity crush growing up?What’s the weirdest thing you used to do as a kid?What’s your first memory?What kinds of things did you like to do when you were a kid?How has your personality changed or evolved since you were younger?What advice would you give to your younger self?What was your favorite cartoon as a kid?Did you have a favorite stuffed animal?Are you still close with any of your childhood friends?What was your favorite year of school growing up?Who was your favorite teacher?Have you ever broken a bone?Friendship questionsWhat role do your friends play in your life?Who do you usually hang out with?What would your friends say your best quality is?How did you meet your best friend?What defines a good friend in your opinion?Have you ever broken up with a friend?What’s the biggest fight you’ve ever had with a friend?What would you tell your friends about me so far?What’s the most annoying thing a friend can do?When have your friends helped you get through rough times?What is your role in your friend group?Deep and personal questions What’s the biggest lesson life has taught you so far?What has been the happiest moment in your life so far?What has been the hardest moment in your life so far?If you could bring someone back from the dead, who would it be?Who is the most important person in your entire life right now?What’s your biggest regret?What’s your biggest fear?What do you love most about yourself?What are you most insecure about?What do you worry about?If you had one day left to live, what would you do?If you could choose how you die, what would you pick?Ask a Girl the Right Questions(Photo by DocuSign on Unsplash)When it comes to determining what questions to ask a girl, always go with your gut. Great conversation comes from being an active listener and really tuning into the person you’re talking to. Remember that interesting conversation ultimately comes from your engagement. When you speak from the heart, you’ll be on the right track. (Now you know what questions to ask a girl, take a look at these questions to ask a guy for more conversation inspiration.)KEEP READING:Why Handling Reactivity Is Essential For Healthy Romance

Weight Loss Motivation Tips to Keep Your Lifestyle Goals on Track
Diet & Exercise

Weight Loss Motivation Tips to Keep Your Lifestyle Goals on Track

Making a lifestyle change is hard work. You often need to override your current habits, get out of your comfort zone and develop new routines. Finding the motivation you need to achieve success isn’t easy. And staying motivated over the long term to hit your goal weight can be just as tough.When it comes to weight loss, so many factors are at play when it comes to sustaining motivation as well as weight loss maintenance. You may be cutting calories, adopting healthy eating, starting an exercise routine and dealing with comments from family members or friends about your new choices, not to mention dealing with everything else in your life. But how to get motivated to lose weight and to keep it off, you may need to adopt new ways of thinking and healthy food intake habits to keep you on track. Here’s what you should know about the (perfectly normal!) struggles many people have when it comes to losing weight, as well as some tested tips for regaining your focus. You can do this! Losing weight: Common strugglesWhether you’re starting an official program or navigating this journey on your own, you may find yourself having a hard time keeping up with your newfound weight loss goal. There are a few reasons you might struggle, even if you’re far along in your weight loss plan and have seen success so far. Maintaining motivation over time takes mental focus and hard work (not to mention a healthy meal or two!)Here are three common weight loss motivation struggles: Focusing too much on on external motivationIf your focus for losing weight is to please other people, or fit into societal standards about what the ideal body should look like, you will likely lose your motivation to continue on your weight loss journey. Why? Because extrinsic motivation—motivation that’s fueled by external accolades and pressure—isn’t as sustainable as intrinsic motivation—the motivation you find within yourself.Extrinsic motivation is categorized by two things. First, there’s avoiding the guilt of not meeting other people’s (or society’s) standards. Then, there’s people pleasing, the desire to win approval from other people. While extrinsic motivation can work well in the beginning, giving you a jumpstart into a new, healthy lifestyle, it won’t allow you to keep up with your weight loss goals over time. Letting your stress go uncheckedLosing weight is sometimes quite a difficult endeavour to undertake. Yet, life still goes on even when you’re working toward this big goal. It’s important to find ways to deal with the stress of everyday life while you’re working on weight loss. Even if this means having to scale back on your exercise so that you can take your dog for a walk and get fresh air, grabbing coffee with a friend so you can get some necessary social time in, or even meeting with your therapist to help manage your stress. (Srdjanns74 / Getty)Too much stress can wreak havoc on your mind and your body. When your body is stressed, the hormone cortisol shoots up. Chronic stress (and that cortisol release) has been linked to increased appetite and weight gain. It can also make you tired, which leads to less energy to work out and a lowered ability to maintain willpower when it comes to keeping up with your healthy habits. Having a perfectionist mindsetWeight loss—like any lifestyle change—is about persistence over perfection. If you’re beating yourself up over every missed workout, every unhealthy snack or every pound gained instead of lost, you’re going to burn out quickly. It’s impossible to maintain perfection when you’re dedicated to weight loss —you’re only human, after all. Operating from an all-or-nothing mentality with lots of restrictions built in (like off-limits foods) can lead you to binging or even giving up entirely. Focus on your journey as a whole, not on every little choice you make having to be perfect. How to stay motivated in your weight loss programStaying in tune with yourself is the best way to maintain weight loss motivation over time. First, harness your inner confidence and autonomy. As mentioned, intrinsic motivation, which comes from within you, is far more likely to help you in accomplishing long term weight loss. Relying on, and pleasing, yourself is far more motivating than losing weight simply to please others or fit in. Just as it is with the American singers Lizzo, weight loss, and Doja Cat's weight loss, body positivity can be a good thing, but not if you’re doing it for the wrong reasons. Accepting yourself as you are outside of how others perceive the way you look is sometimes the better long-term option. (Getty)Check in with yourself periodically about your weight loss goals and intentions. Tuning in to how you are feeling, where your stress levels are at and how you can best work to take care of yourself will be far more motivating than any outside force. When you treat yourself and your body with respect and kindness, you will believe that you are worth doing anything you set your mind to. Tips for staying motivated to lose weightIn addition to finding intrinsic motivation, there are a number of ways you can help inspire yourself to stay motivated. While some of the ideas on this list may seem extrinsic (like enlisting an accountability partner to help motivate you to lose weight), when the ideas come from a place of self worth and self actualization, these outside forces fulfill your goals and desires, not other people’s. Use the tips below as a jumping off point for developing the practices that will help you stay motivated to lose weight. Some of them will speak to you while others won’t fit with your weight loss journey or goals. That’s okay. By curating your own unique motivation techniques, you’ll be successful on your own terms. Set achievable goalsKeep the focus on progress, not perfection. Set a weight loss goal for yourself that you know you can achieve rather than a too-lofty benchmark that you may not be able to meet. This way, when you accomplish your goal, you can feel a sense of pride that will motivate you to keep going. Smallering milestones to meet will create sustainable motivation to keep you moving in the right direction.Zero in your “why”Determine why you really want to lose weight. If you’re focused on meeting societal standards and pleasing your partner (or other family members), remember that these “whys” are based on extrinsic motivation, which won’t be sustainable. Think about what weight loss will bring to your life: Will you be able to stop taking certain medications? Reduce your risk of certain diseases or conditions? Have more energy to do the things you love? Feel more comfortable within your body? Whatever your why is, identify it and keep it top of mind. Build your confidenceIf you’re having a hard time finding the internal motivation you need to keep going with your weight loss goals, work on building your confidence and loving yourself as is, right now. Losing weight is an important, sometimes life-saving, goal. But accepting yourself for who you are, at any size, gives you the necessary inner strength to believe that you are worthy and enough to make changes that will benefit you. Create a vision boardHaving a visual of what your weight loss will bring to your life can inspire you to keep going. Maybe it’s a picture of your kids taped to your exercise bike. Maybe it’s a screensaver of an adventurous destination you want to travel to on your computer. A visual reminder of your why that’s rooted in what motivates you from within can keep you focused on your weight loss goals. Conversely, photos of super skinny models will only make you feel ashamed and unworthy—don’t surround yourself with unrealistic images of beauty and societal standards that nobody can meet without the help of photoshop and filters. Tackle your emotional hurdlesWhat’s stopping you from becoming your best self? Typically when people begin any kind of transformational journey, including a weight loss program, intrusive thoughts and feelings can come up. Sometimes these are voices from people in our past, emotional pain from not-so-great memories and other trauma you may have faced. Give yourself the time and space to work through any issues that arise, enlisting a therapist if you need additional, professional guidance. Keep a journalDocumenting your weight loss journey can be motivating so you can see how far you’ve come. This isn’t a food diary where you write down everything you eat, which usually just makes people feel anxious and guilty. (Ranta Images / Getty)This is more of an emotional diary where you can track how you’re feeling about your weight loss, how you’re maintaining motivation, what’s been hard or easy for you and so on. Being able to write down your thoughts and feelings can relieve stress and serve as a reminder for your future self about where you were in different stages of your weight loss journey. Clean out your fridgeTypically, eating healthy is one of the main weight loss goals people have. One easy way to accomplish this is to clear out any foods that don’t fit with your new lifestyle from your fridge and your pantry. This doesn’t mean that you have to purge everything with sugar or fat. But you can think about what foods are worth indulging in and which ones just aren’t. Maybe you keep your favorite candy on hand as a treat but you toss the (already stale) cookies that you don’t love quite as much. Stocking your home with nutrient-rich foods that you actually like to eat will help you maintain your weight loss motivation. You have to make room for those items. Clear out your closetIt may seem counterintuitive to suggest that you give away any clothing that doesn’t fit you—especially clothes you’ve been saving to wear until after you’ve lost weight. However, when you see these items hanging lifelessly in your closet, they tend to not be very motivating. They just take up space. Instead, donate anything that doesn’t fit you right now and create a wardrobe of items that you feel confident in. Chances are the items you’ve been saving are old and out of style anyway. Feeling good in your body, right now, is better motivation than seeing clothes you can’t fit into—especially if you feel guilty or ashamed because your body isn’t ready for them quite yet. Track your progressFind a way to track your weight loss to help you stay motivated. Some people take a photo each day, do weekly weigh-ins, vlog about their progress—do whatever works for you to have a tangible record of your actual weight loss. (Zinkevych / Getty)This helps you see how far you’ve come, which is motivation to keep going. Do a social media purgeTake stock of your social media feeds and determine if the accounts you follow are helpful, or decidedly not helpful, as you work to lose weight. Follow any unmotivating or toxic accounts—especially any accounts that make you feel bad about yourself physically or mentally. Feel free to block or unfollow toxic people (even people you know in real life). Fill your feed with inspirational people and accounts that encourage you to keep going, make you laugh and help you de-stress in general. You can also limit your time on social media and work toward connecting with loved ones directly. Move your body every dayDo some form of physical activity. Even just five minutes of exercise can boost your heart rate–and your mood. While dietary changes are typically what help people lose weight, moving your body in some way can contribute to weight loss as well. (Prostock-Studio / Getty)Find an exercise routine or workout that you actually enjoy and stick to it. Whether you walk outside, do yoga or crush hardcore weight classes at the gym, exercise can make you feel good inside and out. Find an accountability partnerIs there someone in your life who you can talk to about wanting to lose weight? Someone who you can turn to when you’re feeling your motivation wane? Someone who will check in with you and keep your spirits high? Think about who this person could be: Your partner, a friend, a parent. This person can hold you accountable to your goals and give you the push you need to keep going when you feel discouraged. Be competitiveIf you’re the type of person who thrives in the face of a challenge or friendly competition, enlist a buddy to compete with you, in a healthy way, with your weight loss. You can encourage each other to hit a certain goal by a certain date, compete in how many workouts you can complete in a month or train together for a big competitive event, like a 5K or a marathon. If competition lights a fire under you, it can be a fun way to keep motivated. Work on your self talkThe voice in your head could be your best friend—or your worst enemy. Start being aware of how you talk to yourself when you’re doing what you’d consider a “good job” losing weight. Do you give yourself the credit you deserve or do you downplay your milestones? Also pay attention to how you talk to yourself when your motivation wanes or you do something that’s not in line with your exercise, food or health goals. Do you beat yourself up about it or accept that you’ll make mistakes and gently prod yourself to get back on track? Your inner advocate (or critic) can either inspire you to keep going or hold you back from truly feeling like you’ve accomplished your goals. Reward your milestonesWeight loss journeys need to include rewards for yourself. Make a plan for how you’ll give yourself those rewards, and you’ll contribute a lot towards your personal weight loss success.Give yourself a budget for something fun you can do for yourself, like getting a massage, buying a new outfit or treating yourself to a fancy dinner at your favorite restaurant. (wundervisuals / Getty)Determine when you will get your rewards—is it after losing a certain amount of weight? After a month of sticking with your plan? Figure out how you will measure success and give yourself the credit you deserve by rewarding your hard work. This will help you stay motivated to get the next reward—and the next on, and the next one and so on. Don’t be too hard on yourselfLosing weight is a journey, not a quick fix. Not only is it hard to lose weight, but it’s hard to stick to a diet perfectly and maintain an exercise routine, as well as simply live your life. Weight loss doesn’t happen overnight and you don’t automatically become a totally different person when you start losing weight. You’ll still have insecurities. You’ll still have stress. So be sure that you’re not being too hard on yourself if you’re not changing quickly enough or you feel like you’re not making enough progress with your weight or in other areas of your life. Weight loss takes timeGive yourself the time and space to make the necessary lifestyle changes you need to make in order to be successful in losing weight. It may take years to adapt to a new lifestyle, especially if this includes new ways of eating and moving that don’t come naturally to you. Staying motivated over the long term comes from within: You have to believe that you can do this over the long haul and that means having the confidence to know that these incremental changes will add up over time.(Inside Creative House / Getty)Dig deep into yourself for that intrinsic motivation, knowing that you are worth the time and effort it will take to ultimately lose weight and make your new lifestyle stick. As your confidence builds and you see results, you’ll be inspired to keep becoming the person you were always meant to be.

25+ Fun Date Night Ideas for Every Relationship
Dating

25+ Fun Date Night Ideas for Every Relationship

The old dinner-and-a-movie may be a classic, but it’s not exactly breaking new ground when it comes to fun date night ideas. So why not mix things up with some new activities?RELATED: Best Dating Quotes to Keep You Motivated in Your Search for LoveThe following cute date ideas and first-date tips are divided into categories to help you figure out the perfect excursion for you and your main squeeze (or potential partner). Whether you’re going on a first date, or your 50th, these fun date ideas will surely inspire your next romantic outing!Cute Date Ideas for a First Date Photo by Felipe Bustillo on UnsplashAh, your first date. Such a milestone, right? When choosing the first activity you’ll do together while getting to know each other, consider the following: First, you want the conversation to flow, so it’s important to go where there’s enough distraction to keep you talking. In short, finding a place with lots of stimuli is key. RELATED: Do the 36 Questions That Lead to Love Really Work?Second, you don’t want to accidentally drink too much alcohol because you’re nervous. So, it’s a good rule of thumb to steer clear of bars on a first date. And, finally, it’s always best to meet in a public place for safety and to give you an easy out if the date is not going great.Got all that? The following first date ideas fit all of this criteria and more for making this initial activity together a success. Get CoffeePhoto by Good Faces on UnsplashBy far the most popular first-date idea, grabbing something at a coffee shop is a low-stakes way to get to know someone. If you hit it off, you can continue getting to know each other by taking a walk, window shopping or getting a meal together. If you don’t quite click, no biggie. After finishing your beverages, simply go your separate ways. Walk Your DogsPhoto by Kate Wallace on Unsplash Not only is this a great (and cheap) date idea, it’s also super-cute. Plus, it’s the perfect way to see if your furry friends hit it off, too. Don’t have dogs? Why not visit an animal shelter and give some lonely pooches a little love? You’ll get to see each other’s softer sides, and do something nice for animals in need. Play Games at an ArcadePhoto by cottonbro from PexelThis first-date idea is interactive, fun and casual, making it an ideal choice for people just getting to know each other. An arcade isn’t super-romantic, but it can get cozy when you’re standing shoulder-to-shoulder, battling each other in a fighting game. Plus, a little healthy competition can be a good ice-breaker. Take a Trip to the Farmer’s MarketPhoto by Nana Lapushkina from PexelsMeeting up at your local farmer’s market is a great way to get to know each other’s culinary tastes, and to make easy conversation. If your outing turns romantic, you can even feed each other produce samples, making this the perfect date to help you segue into the second date. Browse Your Local BookstorePhoto by Budgeron Bach from PexelsIf you’re both into reading, what could be more fun than swapping literary tastes at your local bookstore? You can read each other passages from your favorite books, talk about favorite authors and, perhaps, even pick out a book for the other to read before your next date. Fun Date Night IdeasPhoto by Matheus Bertelli from PexelsIf you’re looking for a little adventure, the following fun and creative date night ideas focus on activities and experiences that can really bring a couple together. Doing new things, together, is a great way to bond. Some research even shows that having novel experiences together can strengthen a relationship. RELATED: How to Maintain a Long-Distance RelationshipSo, jump into the favorite date night ideas and get ready to laugh, play and move out of your respective comfort zones. Take a Painting ClassPhoto by ANTONI SHKRABA from PexelsLook for a local painting class (or a painting and wine class) where you and your date can channel your inner artists. You don’t need to consider yourself creative to take an art class. In fact, it may be more fun if neither of you has any natural talent.At the end, swap paintings so you can each take the other’s home with you. Do Something Thrill-SeekingPhoto by Doruk Yemenici on UnsplashTrapeze lessons, bungee jumping, braving the rides at a local carnival — there are a number of ways to get your adrenaline pumping together. Thrill-seeking together is a fun way to bring you closer and have an experience you can look back on for years to come. Go to a Sports EventIf you prefer spectating, get tickets for a local sporting event. You can root for your team, share some stadium food and spend time together as sports fans. If you don’t have a professional team in your area, college sports are sometimes even more fun to watch. Sing KaraokePhoto by Daniil Onischenko on UnsplashFind a local karaoke bar, and make a night of it. If you’re feeling brave, sign yourselves up for a song or two. Or, just watch and cheer on the locals belting out their favorite tunes. Either way, you’ll have a blast. Do a Winery or Brewery TourPhoto by Kym Ellis on UnsplashTaking a tour of a winery or brewery gives you all the fun of a bar experience with a little more novelty. Even if you know nothing about beer or wine, you’ll still have a good time trying different options. You might even learn a thing or two about the varieties you sip. You can also recreate this date at home by buying different types of beer or wine and doing your own tastings. Visit a Theme ParkPhoto by João Rabelo from PexelsChannel your inner child by heading to a theme park. Ride the rides, see the sights, and watch the fireworks. Find that sense of wonder together, and you’ll see a new side of yourself and of your partner. Romantic Date IdeasPhoto by Jonathan Borba on UnsplashIf you’re looking for more romantic date night ideas, the following options are meant to be a little more private and personal. Making special time for you and your other half can give your relationship a needed boost or help you celebrate a milestone. Go to the Drive-inPhoto by Jona on UnsplashWhether you love comedies, dramas or horror, seeing a film at the drive-in is definitely more romantic than being squashed between strangers in a traditional theater. You can bring your own snacks, blankets and drinks to customize your date, and cuddle up together in the relative privacy of your car. Take a Cooking ClassPhoto by AllGo on UnsplashCooking together can be very romantic. However, you might not know where to start, or have the skills needed to pull off a delicious meal at home. That’s why taking a cooking class can be romantic and practical at the same time. After learning how to cook a few dishes, you can then recreate your meal at home for your anniversary or Valentine’s Day, if you choose. However, if cooking doesn’t interest you, dance classes are another fun and romantic way to learn a new skill and spend some special time together. Go to a ConcertPhoto by Thibault Trillet from PexelsChoose a band or solo act that’s special to you both, and book tickets. Being able to look forward to a date builds anticipation. The night of the show, you can dress up, get dinner and make a whole celebration out of it. Pack a PicnicPhoto by Subodh Bajpai from PexelsGoing on a picnic is always a cute date idea. It’s low-key, it’s easy and super-romantic. Either do it yourself at home, then pack food for your excursion, or else order food you can take to-go. Then, choose a spot with beautiful views, or good people-watching, that’s secluded enough so you can feel a bit removed from the action. Finally, enjoy your spread — and time with each other.Go on a StaycationPhoto by Andrea Piacquadio from PexelsGet a break from your everyday life and book a night at a posh local hotel. Sit by the pool, order room service, and act like a tourist for 24 hours. This is a great idea for an anniversary or birthday to celebrate you and your partner with a bigger date activity. Go Camping Photo by cottonbro from PexelsIf you prefer the great outdoors over a luxury hotel, try camping for a night or two. You’ll need to work together to put up the tent, build a fire and make meals. Then you can spend the night cuddling for warmth. Bonus points for bringing an astronomy book so you can star gaze and pick out the constellations together. Daytime Date IdeasPhoto by Budgeron Bach from PexelsWhile we often think of dates as nighttime activities, there are a number of fun things you can do during the day that can have romantic potential. RELATED: Boost Your Shot at Intimacy With This Psychological Love Eye TrickThe following date ideas are great ways to take advantage of daytime hours, and can add some variety to your life. Have BrunchPhoto by Colin Michel on UnsplashDinner dates may be the go-to for couples, but brunch dates are highly underrated. Start your day with breakfast (and mimosas, if you’re feeling extra fancy), and then you can chill the rest of the day (and night). Breakfast in bed is another great option if you don't feel like getting out of your pajamas. Take a Hike Photo by Yaroslav Shuraev from PexelsNot only does this count as one of the best cheap date ideas, getting outside with your partner (and working up a sweat in nature) is healthy, too! Pick a hiking route with gorgeous scenery, pack some snacks (and water!), and take in the sights around you. If you’re feeling like making this date extra adventurous, you could try horseback riding through the woods or on local trails, with a guide to point the way. Go Thrifting or Antiquing Photo by cottonbro from PexelsCheck out your local secondhand shops to see what gems you might find. You could come away with some amazing vintage T-shirts, cool knick-knacks, or even keepsakes like records or jewelry. Not into rifling through other people’s stuff? Visit some high-end furniture stores and try out all of the fancy couches while imagining your future dream home. Visit a Museum or a Botanical Garden(Jacobs Stock Photography Ltd / Getty)For a little culture, go to your local art museum to see which paintings and sculptures speak to you. You don’t have to know anything about art to appreciate what the museum has to offer. And there are always guidebooks and tours to lead the way. You’ll come away with new knowledge, and added appreciation, for the arts. RELATED: What Sexual Chemistry Is and Why It Matters in a RelationshipYou might also check out your local botanical gardens for a stroll among the flora. It gives you a chance to appreciate the plants, flowers and trees native to your area. Chances are, you’ll learn a lot about the natural world right around you. Water SportsPhoto by Sebastian Voortman from PexelsIf you’re a more athletic couple (but don’t want to try rock climbing), why not rent kayaks or paddle boards for a sporty outdoor date experience? As long as you live close to water, you’ll get the chance to do something fun outdoors together — don’t we all spend too much time in front of screens? — while doing something great for your bodies, too. After all of that paddling, you can grab a nourishing meal, and maybe a drink, to reward your hard work. And if it’s winter? Well, there’s always ice skating!Group Date IdeasPhoto by KoolShooters from PexelsSometimes it’s fun to get together with other couples for a group date (or simply a double date). Doing this shakes up your typical date routine, gives you a chance to socialize, and provides new ideas for what you can do on your dates. All of that helps to keep things spicy and interesting in your relationship. Novelty is always a good thing, right?The following ideas are activities you can certainly do with just the two of you. However, they will probably be even more fun with a group.Go BowlingPhoto by Pavel Danilyuk from PexelsMore fun than going to the local library, bowling is definitely more of an old school activity, but it’s great as a group date. You can hang out and chat, while also doing something somewhat active, as well as compete with each other. RELATED: What Does It Mean to Be in a Romantic Friendship?However, if the idea of sticking your finger into random balls and wearing rented shoes gives you the heebie-jeebies, you can opt for another group sporting activity like miniature golf, actual golf or pickleball. Try to Get Out of an Escape RoomPhoto by Zachary Keimig on UnsplashEscape rooms have become increasingly popular. If you’re not familiar with the concept, you’re locked in a room filled with clues, and you have to figure out how to get out, typically by working together as a team. This is a fun night for a group date, because it’s easier to escape when more people are working on a problem. Everyone can find a way to contribute, solving codes to unlock the final door. After your big escape, you can celebrate with drinks. Take a City TourPhoto by Katerina Holmes from PexelsYour town likely offers a number of tours that are fun to do as a group. From ghost tours to food tours, there’s something for any kind of group that will give you the inside scoop on local history. You’ll learn a lot and even see your city in a new light, plus make a lot of memories along the way. Book Tickets for Dinner TheaterDinner and a show, anyone? From comedy shows to magic shows to mystery dinner theater, going as a group to one of these events is always an experience. Dinner theater is a great idea for group dates when people don’t know each other all that well because you’ll definitely have something to talk about when the show is over.Play Laser TagPhoto from PexelsAnother date idea for channeling your inner child, playing laser tag is a fun way to stir up some competition with your partner. Plus, it’s way more fun playing among friends than random people. Breaking up into teams, you can opt to band together with your other half or be opposing to each other—whatever sounds more enticing to you. If laser tag is too tame for your group, you can always go paint-balling, which is a little more intense. Fundraising, Anyone?This is not always available, but if you can find one, think about attending a local fundraising event. Choose a good cause that shows off the spirit of giving in your heart, and you may come away with more than a good feeling. Showing off your generosity and participating in something as a couple may teach you that by giving, you’ll actually receive. At-Home Date IdeasPhoto by Andres Ayrton from PexelsIf you’re not able to get out of the house much these days -- maybe you have kids but no reliable babysitter -- there are plenty of home date night ideas.RELATED: Love at First Sight: Does It Exist in Today's World? With the following date ideas to guide you, you’ll have so much fun that you’ll almost forget that you haven’t even left the house. Just be sure to set a day and time with your partner so you can both anticipate the date and prep accordingly. Cook TogetherPhoto by Gary Barnes from PexelsSometimes the best ideas are the simplest. Instead of ordering in, take the time to cook together. Chances are that you don’t do a lot of this during the week, especially if you have kids and you divide and conquer tasks in those few hours between work and bedtime. Pick a recipe that fits your cooking abilities and work together to create the perfect meal. Do a Board Game NightPhoto by cottonbro from PexelsThere are plenty of board games you can play with just two people, from classics like chess to modern favorites like Hive. That's not even counting video games, or even trivia night. Playing games together lets you have some easy fun while also engaging in a bit of healthy competition. If you’re not into games per say, you can always do a puzzle together and help achieve a common goal. Plan a Movie NightPhoto by cottonbro from PexelsA little more structured than binge-watching, you can choose a movie together, pop popcorn and maybe even make a themed cocktail or mocktail to go along with the film. Then, cozy up under some blankets and settle in. Watching movies at home can be far superior to squishing into theater seats—especially since you can always hit pause when you need to use the bathroom or grab a snack. Take a Virtual ClassPhoto by Alena Darmel from PexelsIn light of the pandemic, you can learn nearly everything from your laptop these days, with skilled people offering tutorials on their talents via paid platforms like Masterclass or for free on YouTube. Pick a skill you’d like to learn, from guitar to painting to cocktail mixing (even a dance class!) and spend some time together perfecting your abilities. You’ll come away with new knowledge and fond memories.Build a Backyard CampfirePhoto by Pavel Danilyuk from PexelsTurn your backyard into a cozy place to cuddle, stargaze and eat s’mores together. Even if you’re tight on space, you can easily fit a small, portable fireplace to burn some wood and find some romance by a roaring fire. You may still be at home, but creating a new setting can make your space feel like new. Make Time for Each OtherIn the end, all of these fun date ideas are about creating special moments for you and your partner (or for your potential love interest if you’re just getting to know each other). It’s one of the best ways to achieve your goals in a relationship. You don’t need to go on the perfect date in order to get that quality time in, you just need to find an activity that speaks to you and have an open mind about trying new things together. Know that it’s more about the company, not about the activity itself. Take the pressure off by choosing joy, having fun and making lasting memories together.KEEP READING: Questions to Ask Your Crush

Positive Anxiety: 5 Ways to Make Your Stress Work for You
Mindset

Positive Anxiety: 5 Ways to Make Your Stress Work for You

It’s safe to say that no one likes feeling stressed out. When you’re overwhelmed with life, anxiety can creep in, leading to all sorts of uncomfortable emotions. We’re taught to avoid stress at all costs. But learning to sit with, and even appreciate, low level stress can actually impact your overall mental health in a positive way. Instead of vilifying stress, it’s important to honor that you’re feeling stressed out and allow those feelings to impact you positively instead of paralyzing you. RELATED: What Is Groupthink? How To Avoid This Common BiasHere’s what you need to know about letting your stress work for you, rather than against you. What the Science Says about the Upside of Stress(Unsplash)While pervasive, unyielding stress (known as chronic stress) is undeniably bad for our mental and physical health, a recent study supports the idea that a little bit of stress, for a limited amount of time, can actually be good for you. According to Daniela Kaufer, associate professor of integrative biology at the University of California, Berkeley, who co-authored the study, “some amounts of stress are good to push you just to the level of optimal alertness, behavioral and cognitive performance.” RELATED: Open-Mindedness: 5 Practical Steps To Open Your MindLow to moderate levels of stress can create resilience, as well as have other positive impacts on your life in general. Kaufer, along with UC Berkeley postdoctoral fellow Elizabeth Kirby, found through their research that stress can impact people for the better, depending on how they perceive the stress and how long the stress lasts. Basically, the way you think about your own stress matters.Can Anxiety Actually Be Good for You?(Unsplash)Stress-induced anxiety is common these days, especially in the wake of the recent pandemic and all of the other issues people face . But anxiety itself is not the problem, according to therapist Britt Frank, author of The Science of Stuck. Frank calls anxiety the “check engine light” of your brain. When you feel anxious because of stress, your anxiety is not the actual issue—it’s a signal that something is going on beneath the surface. RELATED: What Is the Google Effect, How Does It Hurt Your Mind – And What Can You Do About It?When you reframe everyday stress and anxiety as cues that signal a problem you need to face, you can start to appreciate those uncomfortable feelings of stress, overwhelm and anxious thoughts, then get super curious about the root cause. (Of course, chronic stress and anxiety can be debilitating and do not fall within the scope of this discussion.)5 Ways to Harness the Positive Side of Stress (Unsplash)Now that you know that stress isn’t the absolute worst, and that it can even be helpful, here are five important ways that you can make your stress work for you. 1. Use stress as a source of information, not judgmentThink of stress the way Britt Frank frames anxiety—your check engine light is on and trying to tell you some useful information. Get curious about why you feel stress and what’s at the root of that stress. Don’t try to push your stress away, shove it down or tell yourself to just get over it. There’s no need to shame yourself for feeling stressed. Use your stress as a catalyst for finding a deeper self-awareness. 2. Use stress as a self care reminderWhen you feel stressed, chances are that you need to take a beat and make time for nurturing your mind, body and soul. Ask yourself: When’s the last time you ate something nutritious? Had a glass of water? Moved your body? Instead of ruminating in stress, take action toward self care. If you have trouble thinking of ideas, keep a running list of actions on your phone of things that bring you joy, like texting a friend, going for a walk or petting your dog. That way, when you’re deep in stress, you can easily find a self care strategy to help you through it. 3. Use stress to help you take actionStress can be a great motivator. Once you acknowledge and understand the source of your stress, take one small step of action. RELATED: Sensory Deprivation Tank: What Are the Benefits of ‘Floating’?This could be crossing one item off of your to-do list, answering one email, committing to five minutes of exercise or setting a timer for 10 minutes while you begin to tackle cleaning your house. This first step is typically all you need to hunker down and finish the task at hand. 4. Use stress to assess your time management skillsTake stock of your energy management when you’re in a period of stress. Write down what’s eating up your time and what you’d rather be doing instead (or needing to do instead). Evaluate what you can delegate or just skip. Oftentimes, stress comes when we feel like there aren’t enough hours in the day to get it all done. However, this stress can be alleviated when we realize that we don’t have to shoulder all of the burden ourselves. Use stress as a catalyst for setting boundaries and saying no when you need to. 5. Use stress to remind you of your resilienceFinally, allow stress to be your reminder of how strong you are. Even in the face of overwhelm and big emotions, you can persevere. Remember the times in your life when you felt anxious or over burdened and think about how you got through those periods. Harness your strength and resilience to tackle whatever it is that’s causing you to stress out. Accept that stress will come and go. Ride the waves knowing you can handle whatever hand life deals you. Yes, Positive Anxiety Exists(Unsplash)While it’s hard to feel like there’s an upside to stress and anxiety, since we are often told that these emotions are to be avoided like the plague, they are simply part of life. When you feel stressed, don’t try to fight it. Welcome these feelings, and even the anxiety that can come with them. Use stress as a tool to understand yourself better. When you get curious about stress you can take better care of yourself, set firm boundaries, manage your time more efficiently and feel the benefits of resilience that come from weathering the storm of anxiety. Instead of fearing periods of anxiety, realize that they are bound to come. It’s up to you how you acknowledge stress and use it for your betterment.KEEP READING:Train Your Brain to Shed Distracting Habits and Concentrate Better

5 Serious Questions You Absolutely Have to Ask Your Boyfriend About the Future
Dating

5 Serious Questions You Absolutely Have to Ask Your Boyfriend About the Future

Once you’re in a relationship, your union can go one of two ways—either you stay together for the long haul or you break up. While it may be a bit jarring to think about your relationship in these stark terms, it’s true. You’re either going to be with this person, or you won’t. RELATED: How To Handle Emotional Cheating In A RelationshipAt some point, you and your romantic partner will need to talk about the future and understand if you’re on the same page regarding both your relationship and your life goals. This will help you better determine if you will indeed evolve into a forever couple or if you’re destined to only be together for the short term. Here’s when to have the talk—and how to psych yourself up for it—as well as exactly what questions to ask. You’ve got this. When to Talk About the Future With Your Partner(Unsplash)There’s no set time to have the talk about the future—it’s different for every couple. Typically, you’ll get a feeling that this conversation needs to happen. Your feelings for each other are deepening. Your lives are becoming more entwined. And yet, you haven’t exactly spoken concretely about where your relationship is headed and if your future goals are compatible. When you’re feeling like a talk needs to happen, you know it’s time.RELATED: How to End a Relationship: A 5-Step Guide to Breaking up and Letting GoAs for the right time to broach the topic of the future, try to pick a moment that’s as neutral and stress-free as possible. After a long work day or following a visit to one of your parents’ houses is probably not the best time. Maybe try a lazy Sunday morning (after you’ve both eaten) to bring up the topic. Why Talking about the Future Can Be Scary for Couples(Unsplash)If you’re feeling nervous about having this talk, that’s more than understandable. While you may feel like this conversation is needed, you might also have the urge to put it off as long as possible. This is because not knowing your partner’s life and relationship goals could be easier than knowing them. On the one hand, you might find that you are both completely aligned. On the other hand, you might have totally different ideas about where you want your union to go and how you want to live your lives—this discrepancy has the potential to blow up your relationship. RELATED: Overcoming Jealousy: 5 Tricks to Silencing Your Green-Eyed MonsterRemember that it’s always better to have an honest, open relationship than live in the dark or in fear of what you don’t know. If you and your partner do indeed have opposing goals or ideals about the future, it’s best to know ASAP so that you can move on before you’re in too deep emotionally (or work together to better align your goals). Know that having the talk will always feel scary. But not knowing—and having a nagging feeling that you may not ultimately be compatible—is way worse. 5 Serious Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend(Getty)The following five questions will help you get the conversation started for talking about the future. Having the answers will allow both you and your partner to have a better idea of each other’s goals and expectations, opening the lines of communication about where you’re headed, both individually and as a couple.What’s your idea of a happy, fulfilled life?This question helps you get an overview of what your partner is looking for out of life in general. It’s important to know what his definition of a happy life is, especially if he mentions having a family and a long term partnership right away (since that could involve you). If his answers center more on his professional goals, know that he may prioritize his career above all else. If his focus is more on his values and being a good person, know that he will be more interested in personal development and less focused on material things.What are your top 5 goals for the future?Here’s where you can get into more detail about your partner’s goals. If one of his top five goals doesn’t include a relationship, you might want to dig into why that is. If his goals center around travel or living in other countries, you could consider if this is something you would like to be part of (or if it’s even feasible for you). Knowing his goals can provide a window into his ideal future. It’s an opportunity to understand if this is a life you want to be part of. It’s also a chance to discuss how flexible these goals are. What are your relationship goals?This question helps you get more details about what kind of relationship your boyfriend ideally wants—and whether or not he wants to get married or have a life partner. You should ask this question so you can understand if your relationship goals match your boyfriend’s. RELATED: 7 Deep Questions Every Woman Must Ask Her Romantic Partner – And What The Answers MeanIf you both seek a long term relationship, great. If he’s looking for marriage and you’re not, this is something to address head on so that neither of you waste each other’s time. You’re better off parting ways and finding someone who has similar romantic goals. Where do you see yourself in 10 years?Asking this question gives you more clarity on your boyfriend's goals and the timeline he has for himself. Does he see himself accomplishing the goals he laid out by this time? Why or why not? It also gives you the chance to imagine your life in 10 years and see if his ideas align with yours. Do you both expect to be married with kids? Or do you see yourselves traveling the world? Or are you chasing down your career goals? The answers will help you understand if you’re really compatible for the long run. Where do you ideally see our relationship going?Finally, zero in on your union. Now that you’ve been together for as long as you have, what’s the plan? If your boyfriend is still in the “let’s just see what happens” stage, this would be good information for you to have if you’re expecting to be married in the next couple years. If he says he can see a solid future together, then you can feel more confident about staying in the relationship and letting it develop further. Be honest with each other about how things are going between you two—this is your chance to open up and be vulnerable about your wants and needs in your relationship. Couples Need to Talk(Getty)Having a talk about the future can feel overly serious and overwhelming—and that’s okay. It can be a bit nerve wracking to ask someone to open up, and to reveal your own goals and dreams in return. But it’s always better to dig deep with each other than to speculate about where you two are headed. When it comes to relationships, the more information the better, especially if you’re feeling unsure about your current direction. KEEP READING:Why Handling Reactivity Is Essential For Healthy Romance

Fantastic Sister Tattoo Ideas to Celebrate Your Bond and Frighten Your Parents
Family

Fantastic Sister Tattoo Ideas to Celebrate Your Bond and Frighten Your Parents

While couples tattoos are sweet and romantic, sister tattoos celebrate a deeper, more permanent bond. You can’t break up with, or divorce your sister, after all. So, if you have a great relationship with your sister, consider getting matching tattoos to commemorate your bond with each other.RELATED: These Tattoo Artists Are Giving People A Second Chance At LifeIt’s easy to get lost in the myriad tattoo ideas that celebrate sisterhood so we collected the best of the best, while also providing some insight on how to create your own unique matching sister tattoo design. Grab your sister (or sisters) and see what styles inspire you. Meaningful Sister TattoosThe most important aspect of getting matching sister tattoos is that whatever design you choose is meaningful to you. First, decide who is getting the tattoos: Do you just have one sister? Or if you have two sisters, maybe you can get trio tattoos. Do you have a brother who might want to get a similar tattoo? Do your parents want to get one too? This is always a good place to start before you think about the design.Then, focus on what’s meaningful to your and your sister (or sisters). Here are some brainstorm starters to get you thinking about what you might want your tattoos to look like:Shared hobbies and passionsStart thinking about what you and your sister really love. Are you really into nature? A particular activity, craft or sport? RELATED: 13 Mother Daughter Tattoos Ideas that Will Convince Your Mom to Get Inked with YouIf you have any shared passions or there’s something specific that you really bond over, these could be a good jumping off point for creating a tattoo design. Nicknames and inside jokesNext, consider any nicknames you have for each other or names you called each other growing up. If you have any funny inside jokes, these could also be great inspiration for tattoos, especially if you want something unique that only you two will really understand on a deeper level. Special quotes or wordsFor some people, getting a tattoo of a quote or just one word feels more authentic than getting an illustration. If you have a favorite TV show, movie or book, you might consider a line from that as a tattoo. Or you could get a tattoo of a quote from someone you both admire. Maybe there is one word or a mantra that defines your relationship or feels fitting for your bond. If you don’t have a particular favorite quote or mantra, but you know you want a word tattoo, check out these sister quotes for inspiration. Animal Sister Tattoos(IG)Many sisters choose animals as tattoos. Not only does an animal make a cute tattoo but it can also be a fun way to define big sister and little sister roles visually as well. Plus, who doesn’t like animals? (Psychopaths. That's who.) Here are some of the more common animal tattoos that make great matching sister tattoos: Bird tattoosBird tattoos commonly symbolize freedom and flight. Getting matching bird tattoos could be a fun way to commemorate a big step in your life like graduating from high school or college. Different birds have different meanings, too. RELATED: 9-Year-Old Best Friends Torn Apart For 82 Years Due To The Holocaust Finally Reunite Thanks To One StrangerOwls symbolize wisdom while doves symbolize peace. You can use birds to symbolize nearly any meaningful word or value you two share. If you don’t want to get a full bird, feather tattoos are a sweet option, too. Butterfly tattoosBeautiful and intricate, butterfly tattoos are stunning to look at. A butterfly tattoo symbolizes beauty and femininity. So if you and your sister are more on the girly side, this animal design may really speak to you. There are also lots of options for making a butterfly design your own—a butterfly can be any color, shown in profile or flat and it could be big or small. Pet tattoosAnother creative animal tattoo to get is one of your childhood pet. If you had a beloved dog or cat (or turtle) growing up, getting a tattoo of your pet is a great way to honor this animal and celebrate your sisterly bond. You can bring a photo of your pet to your tattoo artist to help them come up with just the right design. Nature Sister Tattoos(IG)If you and your sister are passionate about the natural world in any way, getting a nature-inspired tattoo can be meaningful and also pretty from a design perspective. Here are some ideas from nature that make stunning tattoos:Sea shell tattoosFor ocean lovers, getting a tiny seashell is a great way to celebrate your affinity for the sea as well as your sisterly bond. With so many designs to choose from, you’re bound to find something you both love.Flower tattoosFlowers make beautiful tattoos and each flower has its own meaning, making the design even more special. You might choose your favorite flowers or to get each other’s birth flowers tattooed on yourselves. RELATED: Woman Fleeing Ukraine War Is Handed 2 Children – And Makes a Harrowing PromiseThere’s a lot of room for creativity here with shape, color and size. You can do just a tiny daisy or a whole garden. Celestial tattoosIf you’re into astrology, getting a celestial tattoo can be a great option. You could get complementary tattoos with one person getting a moon tattoo and the other a star tattoo. You could also get zodiac or constellation tattoos to celebrate your signs. These tattoos can be simple and small or more intricate, depending on your tastes. Cartoon Sister Tattoos(IG)Many of us bonded with our siblings over TV shows and movies when we were young. Getting a cartoon is a great way to honor your relationship and throw it back to your days growing up together. These ideas can jog your memory and help you discover the perfect cartoon tattoo for you: Disney tattoosFrom princesses to villains, we all have our favorite Disney characters. Think about which characters you loved as a kid to see if any of them can make interesting tattoo designs. RELATED: She-Hulk’s Sexual Liberation Is Crucial for Marvel and Disney+If you and your sister are Disney lovers, you might consider getting tattoos of classic characters like Minnie, Daisy or Tinkerbell. Or, you could get simple mouse ears to symbolize your love for all things Disney. Powerpuff girls tattoosFor those with three sisters, Powerpuff girls are the go-to option for a cartoon tattoo. The characters are cute yet tough and their design makes for great tattoo art. Likeness cartoon tattoos You and your sister might consider getting cartoons drawn of yourselves to symbolize your sisterly bond. From stick figure tattoos to intricate anime-inspired drawings, cartoons that are inspired by you make a unique choice. Sister Tattoo Location Ideas(Photo by Caroline Hernandez on Unsplash)Some people like to come up with a design before deciding their tattoo placement. Others like to have a spot in mind first. Talk to your tattoo artist about what’s possible so you can determine the best spot for you. They’ve likely seen it all—shoulder sister tattoos, foot sister tattoos, tattoos around the wrist, on fingers—so they can help you narrow down the placement if you’re not exactly sure what would look best. Getting inkedGetting a tattoo with your sister is a great bonding experience. The tattoo itself is a visual reminder of the love that you share and the connection you'll always have. If your sister isn’t up for a tattoo, maybe ask mom to get inked instead? These mother daughter tattoos will provide some great inspiration—and maybe even help convince your sis that matching tattoos could be a super fun idea. KEEP READING:Gabrielle Union, Disney and the Vital Importance of Speaking Truth to Power

Friends and Benefits: Everything You Need to Know About Platonic Relationships
Friends

Friends and Benefits: Everything You Need to Know About Platonic Relationships

There are many types of relationships you can have over the course of your life. These unique bonds bring something different. Your relationships with your family members, friends and romantic partners can each present layers and textures to your day-to-day existence.Some of these people will be the ones you ask questions. Others are the ones who will there for you (like Phoebe and Joey from Friends) when you want to celebrate. All of these relationships are important to your life. One of the more misunderstood types of relationships is the platonic friendship — also called platonic love. These have been largely characterized as bonds between heterosexuals who love each other but are not in love. The definition should be widened to include the LGBTQ community.To give a more inclusive overview, these platonic friendships are between two people who could couple up. But instead they decide to maintain a non-romantic bond. Does that sound a little unrealistic? Maybe to some people. But if you're interested in what a healthy platonic life partnerships are like, and what the benefits are, just keep reading. What Is a Platonic Relationship?​​Platonic love has its roots in ancient Greek philosophy. You may have made the connection, but the origin of the word comes from the famous philosopher Plato, who outlined categories of love in his text, Symposium.RELATED: You're Having Terrible Sex - But One Thing Could HelpAlthough Plato didn’t use that particular word in his work, he did define what we now consider platonic relationships. In Symposium, he said that love based on physical attraction and sexual intimacy is romantic love. But love that’s more intellectually or spiritually based — with no romantic feelings — is what we call platonic love today. Platonic LovePlatonic love occurs when two people have a bond in which they deeply care for each other and share mutual respect for the other's well being. They lean on each other, and share similar interests and values. However, they don’t pursue things romantically. You can experience platonic love at first sight if you’re drawn to someone instantly because you share a passion for an activity or subject. But love in the romantic sense just isn’t part of the equation. (At least not intentionally, more on this later.) This concept may be hard to grasp for people who don’t have this kind of relationship in their lives — and for good reason. We constantly hear about non-sexual friendships in will they or won’t they terms. As if romance is inevitable between any two people who could theoretically be sexually attracted to each other. There’s a stigma around what types of friendships are acceptable, and which ones are headed for disaster (or toward the bedroom). There’s No Such Thing as 'Platonic Lovers'Platonic love is not friends with benefits or hooking up. In fact, there can’t be a sexual aspect to the relationship. Platonic lovers just aren’t a thing. Because there are no romantic feelings a platonic friendship, unrequited love or affections from one person would also disqualify a relationship from being platonic. Examples of Platonic LoveTo better understand the differences between platonic and romantic relationships, here are two of the most common examples: Bromance or Womance These terms describe close, affectionate, non-sexual bonds between two men or two women. Think of bromances and womances like next-level friendships, these pairings are definitely in BFF territory. They love each other, but they aren’t in love with each other. Work Spouse "Work spouses" are coworkers who are so close, they rely on each other the way they would a romantic partner. Except, there's no romance. They might run errands for each other, attend events together, and hang out together outside of the office. They are also known for sticking up for each other (and covering for each other) in the office. Can You Have a Platonic Relationship and a Romantic Partner?In a word, yes. However, it’s important to understand that your romantic partner may need you to set clear boundaries with your platonic friend in order to feel comfortable. (And only you know how okay you are with this.)Some romantic partners may feel threatened by the idea of you having someone in your life who is so close to you, even if there are no romantic or sexual desire between you and your friend. Depending on the person you’re romantically involved with, they might believe that your relationship with them needs to come first, before your platonic love. Romantic relationships can be tricky—jealousy can be a factor even in the most secure of bonds. The Rules for a Healthy Platonic Friendship So what to do about this? Talk to your friend and your romantic partner, separately, about their needs and fears about the other major relationship in your life. You might be surprised about what you discover in an honest discussion with each of these important people. Remind them that your relationships with each person are not in competition—they aren’t comparable because they are completely different from each other. Discuss how much time you expect to spend with each of them and what behaviors and activities won’t work moving forward. For instance, if you talked on the phone with your friend every night until you went to sleep, your romantic partner may not feel comfortable with this, especially if you two decide to move in together down the road. Or, if you’ve shared a bed with your friend every now and then in a completely non-sexual way, your partner may not feel comfortable with this happening now that you’re in a committed relationship. Talking through these habits and scenarios when things with your romantic partner start getting serious will help you avoid tricky situations, trust issues and jealousy down the road.Finally, you have to determine how much you need or want to pull back from your platonic relationship now that you’re in a romantic relationship. While these bonds are very different, they do have some shared qualities: typically, your romantic partner is the person you’d confide in, share good news with first, lean on when you’re having a tough day and so on.Benefits of Platonic RelationshipsHaving a platonic relationship means that you have someone in your corner who you can trust, who has your back and who brings you joy, but who isn’t necessarily engaged with you in a sexual relationship. Here are just some of the benefits of fostering this kind of bond:Feeling Closeness Without the Pressure Talk about (hashtag) relationship goals. In a platonic relationship, you don’t need to worry about where things are going or if the other person is on the same page as you. You can maintain closeness with each other in a low-stakes way. You’re not thinking about the next step or where your relationship will be in a year. You’re getting the perks of a romantic relationship as far as emotional intimacy goes and none of the drawbacks. Getting a Unique Perspective If your platonic friend is of a different sex, gender or gender identity that you are, you’re able to reap the benefits of looking at a given situation (and the world) from their point of view. This can be helpful when navigating a tough situation at work, when you’re dating and trying to pinpoint red flags or whenever you just need another set of eyes and ears on your current life circumstances. Having Someone to Confide InA platonic relationship comes with the major benefit of being able to spill your secrets, deepest fears and unpopular opinions without worrying about judgement, retribution or word getting out. Having a confidant is one of the most significant perks of a deep, trusting friendship. Maintaining a Relationship with Boundaries Practicing setting and respecting boundaries is an essential life skill. Luckily, a platonic relationship allows you to do this all the time. Since you and your friend are committed to remaining just friends, you both uphold the boundary of no romance or sex, giving each other the freedom to just be with each other without wondering what if. This is also good practice for setting boundaries with other people, from family members to acquaintances. Not Having to Keep Up Appearances or Impress the Person When you’re in a romantic relationship, there’s usually a tendency, especially in the beginning, to try to impress the other person. You put on your makeup, do your hair, don the cutest outfits. You might defer to them about what to do on a date or feign enthusiasm for activities they enjoy. All of this is a little exhausting, to say the least. In a platonic relationship, you can just be you because the stakes just aren’t as high. By using your platonic relationship as practice for showing off the real you, you could actually find more authentic connections with potential romantic partners as a result.Being Able to Have an Honest Connection Platonic love isn’t about setting your feelings aside and putting your friend’s feelings first. It’s not about putting up a facade. These friendships thrive on honesty and clear communication. While you never want to be so brutally honest that you come off as mean or thoughtless, not having to hold back your feelings can be a relief for many people. Fighting Without Drama In a romantic relationship, conflict can be scary. (Because what if one big fight can lead to a breakup?) In a platonic relationship, you’re going to get annoyed with each other or have words about a given topic or situation. But what happens? You get mad, maybe you stop talking for a few days and then you work things out. It’s just not that big of a deal. Never Having to Wonder About the Status of Your RelationshipWith platonic love, your relationship is steady. Yes, you can get closer or drift apart here and there but your bond is not on some kind of trajectory with the end point being either marriage or breaking up. You don’t have to waste brain energy wondering where your relationship is going. It just is. What if a Platonic Relationship Turns Romantic?Of course, there is the potential for sexual attraction to develop, and for a friendship to turn into something more. These things are bound to happen between some platonic pairs. We’re all only human, right? Maybe something happened to make you see your friend in a new light. Or perhaps you were feeling lonely and decided to engage in some physical intimacy with each other. Maybe your feelings grew over time. It’s not unheard of for emotional support to turn into romantic interest from a formerly non-sexual relationship. RELATED: Do You Have These Desired Friendship Traits?Here’s what to do about it: Since you know your friend so well, clearly you’re going to feel a vibe if things are getting more than friendly between you. The best thing to do is get those feelings out in the open—ASAP!—before something physical happens because it’s harder to have a conversation if you’re in the throes of lust, or if things get weird. RELATED: 7 Deep Questions Every Woman Must Ask Her Romantic Partner – And What The Answers MeanHaving a talk about what you’re feeling may be a little scary since you may not totally know if your friend feels the same way but once you sense that the relationship is changing it’s hard to have things go back to the way they were before.Working together to talk about your feelings and what they mean will inevitably bring you two even closer together. You may decide that you don’t want to pursue things romantically, even if you’re feeling some love-like feelings. Or you may choose to turn your friendship into a romance. Trying to get on the same page before feelings progress is the best way to avoid having one person feel in love and the other decidedly not feeling it. Platonic Love Has No ExpectationsPlatonic relationships can still be highly misunderstood. Unless you’ve experienced these types of bonds for yourself it can be hard to grasp the idea of completely non-romantic personal relationships between two people who could theoretically be involved.RELATED: How to Tell Your Friend They Have a Toxic Boyfriend – And What to Do NextBut, honestly, that’s kind of society’s problem. The narrative many of us have been taught is that men and women can’t be friends. And, to include gay and non-binary people as well, there’s an assumption that it’s not possible to be completely platonic with anyone you would potentially identify as a love match for you. If we can unlearn these lessons about love and friendship, we can open ourselves up to some pretty wonderful relationships. Platonic bonds are super special because they don’t ask much of the people involved except to simply be themselves—and to be good friends to each other. There are no expectations of needing to check all the boxes on the other person’s wishlist, the way there is with romantic partners, and no need to show off the best version of yourself in order to impress the other person. With platonic relationships, people can be free to love deeply without all the romantic baggage. It’s time to cherish these bonds and seek them out!

13 Mother Daughter Tattoos Ideas that Will Convince Your Mom to Get Inked with You
Parenting

13 Mother Daughter Tattoos Ideas that Will Convince Your Mom to Get Inked with You

Getting matching tattoos isn’t just for best friends or star-crossed lovers. In fact, getting complementary mother daughter tattoos is a safer bet than enlisting a friend or partner to get inked. While those relationships could potentially come and go, the unbreakable mother daughter bond is forever. RELATED: Fearless Mom Throws Herself Amidst Danger To Save Her Daughter From Being AbductedIf you and your mom have ever considered getting matching tattoos—or even if you haven’t—here’s some inspiration to convince you that getting inked with the woman who bore you may just be the best idea ever. Finding Inspiration for Mother Daughter Tattoo Ideas(Getty)Tattoo designs can be literally anything—any symbol, animal, illustration, you name it. So, it can be a little overwhelming to narrow down what you’d want your matching mother daughter tattoos to look like. Take your time choosing the right design. Look online for ideas and maybe even visit a local tattoo parlor to flip through books. Anything goes when it comes to symbols and designs. Maybe you love animals and have one in particular that you’re drawn to that could serve as inspiration for your tattoos. RELATED: Jamie Lee Curtis Marrying Her Daughter in a Nerdy Wedding Is #ParentGoals – Here’s WhyMaybe you have a passion for a particular activity or place to travel to that can be made into a design. Make a list of these commonalities and things you both love to get initial ideas. Customize your tattoos to reflect your tastes. You might opt for a watercolor tattoo for something more noticeable or a simple black design to keep things classic. If your mom has two daughters you might consider asking your sister to get a tattoo with you and your mom to celebrate your bonds together. Meaningful Mother Daughter Tattoos(@kasia_kefifi on Instagram)Celebrate the deep love between you and your mom with a permanent reminder of your relationship. Here are some tattoo ideas to consider for meaningful mother daughter tattoo ideas: Favorite flower tattoosFlowers are a symbol of life, joy and the rebirth of spring. Flower tattoos can have a meaning deeper than that, too, since each flower has its own symbolism. You can choose a favorite flower, a birth month flower or a bloom that has deeping significance to honor your mother daughter duo. Quote tattoosMany people choose to get quotes as tattoos encircling their wrists or ankles, on their inner arms or along their torsos. RELATED: These Tattoo Artists Are Giving People A Second Chance At LifeYou may already have a favorite quote that’s meaningful to you, or you could browse these family quotes, daughter quotes, love quotes and mother quotes for inspiration. Commemorative tattoosThink about what you and your mom love and really bond over. Maybe it’s a classic novel or a passion for Greek and Roman mythology. Commemorate whatever you share an interest in with your ink. You can ask your tattoo artist to mimic a drawing, combine a few elements into one design or create something unique. Minimalist Mother Daughter Tattoos(@tattoo.me.bri on Instagram)If you prefer smaller or simpler tattoo designs, consider doing a tiny tattoo or a symbol tattoo. Here are some super minimal ideas: Heart tattoosA tiny heart tattoo is a beautiful and sweet way to honor your mother daughter bond. You can even choose a favorite color for your matching heart tattoos. RELATED: Passengers Stunned At Flight Attendant’s Response To Frazzled Mom And Her Crying BabyMake them extra minimal by just doing an outline of a heart instead of one that’s filled in. Word tattoosPerhaps there is one word that defines your relationship with your mom. Even something as simple as powerful as the word “love” could make a great tattoo. Symbol tattoosA simple design, like the infinity symbol, can commemorate your unbreakable bond without being overwhelming or overly intricate. Animal Mother Daughter Tattoos(@inkmarked on Instagram)If you’re looking for adorable matching tattoos that celebrate a mother’s love, consider animal tattoos. Here are a couple ideas to get you started: Bear tattoosA mama bear and baby bear tattoo, either in drawings of bears or in just words, can be a sweet way to celebrate the mom-daughter bond. Hen and chick tattoosAnother cute tattoo idea is to get a mother daughter pair of a mama hen and a baby chick. Hens and chicks are a common mother-daughter symbolElephant tattoosElephants symbolize strength, protection and wisdom, which are three things mothers typically provide to their children. RELATED: Single Mom Skips Class to Take Care of Her Baby – Her Professor’s Response Stuns HerGetting a mom and baby elephant tattoo can be a powerful way to celebrate this bond. Whale tattoosIf you and mom love the ocean, consider whale tattoos. As spirit animals, whales are known as guardians, making them a logical choice for mother daughter tattoos. A whale tail symbol is also associated with protection. Celestial Mother Daughter Tattoos(@slowpuncture on Instagram)There’s something otherworldly about the bond between mothers and daughters. If you and your mom are more spiritual or like to delve into the psychic realm, you might consider celestial tattoos to mark your relationship, like these ideas, below: Sun and moon tattoosSymbolizing day and night, these tattoos are fun for mothers and daughters who are opposites and want to celebrate their complementary natures or personalities. Rising sun tattoosA sign of birth and rebirth, a rising sun can be a meaningful way to honor the mother-daughter relationship. Star tattoosFor those looking for a celestial design that’s also simple, a star, shooting star or pair of stars can be both sweet and meaningful. Where to Get Your Mother Daughter Tattoos(Photo by Maria Oswalt on Unsplash)You should of course get your tattoo from a tattoo artist in an official tattoo parlor. But the more important question of where is this: Where on your body should you and your mom get your tattoos? Typical places for mother daughter tattoos are bracelet tattoos, wrist tattoos, hand tattoos (the spot on the top of your hand close to the thumb) or ankle tattoos. You and your mom don’t need to get tattoos in the same spot, of course. Tattoos are very personal so if your ink happens to be in the same place, great. If not, no worries. RELATED: 15-Year-Old Dwayne Johnson Saved His Mom From Taking Her Own Life – And It’s A Moment He Will Never ForgetIt’s more important that both of you feel comfortable with the spot you each choose than it is to have your tattoos in the same exact spot.If you’re on the fence about getting something permanent—or you or your mom need some convincing—try a temporary tattoo first so you can play with color, size, placement and design. Getting Inked to Celebrate Your Mother Daughter Bond(@a_merry_mary on Instagram)A meaningful tattoo is a wonderful way to forever cherish your mother daughter relationship. Even when your mom is gone, you will have something tangible on your body to remember your love for each other. You’ll always hold close the memory of getting your matching mother daughter tattoos. KEEP READING:Woman Notices Young Mom And Her Daughter Eyeing Food At Costco – What She Does Next Is Unexpected

Why the Term "Mutual Abuse" is Complete BS - And How We Can Do Better Right Now
Dating

Why the Term "Mutual Abuse" is Complete BS - And How We Can Do Better Right Now

**Trigger warning: Domestic violence and abusive relationship situations**The term "mutual abuse" has been swirling around of late—thanks to the televised train wreck that was the Johnny Depp-Amber Heard defamation trial. Basically, the couple's marriage counselor, who’s a clinical psychologist, used the phrase to describe the dynamic of the famous pair’s relationship, at one point saying that Heard "gave as good as she got" in reference to abuse. (Those were apparently Depp’s words, not the psychologist’s.)RELATED: Are You Being Emotionally Abused? Here Are The Signs To Look Out ForFor many people in the psychological community—and survivors of domestic abuse—hearing a professional talk about abuse in this way was irresponsible at best and harmful and enabling at worst. Why? Because experts overwhelmingly pushed back on the use of the phrase “mutual abuse,” calling it both problematic and flat out wrong. The use of this term can be extremely offensive as well as mischaracterize what actually happens in an abusive relationship. Here’s why it’s harmful. What Is Mutual Abuse?(Photo by Brynden on Unsplash)Going deeper into the purported definition of this phrase can help people understand why it’s problematic. The term is used to characterize both people in an abusive relationship as perpetrators. Typically, people who are suffering from abuse will use the term to excuse their partner’s behavior as a coping mechanism. Or, the person who is being abusive will use it as a way of deflecting blame from their actions. RELATED: Woman Survives Psychological Abuse And Proves You Can Find Healthy Love AgainHowever, abuse is defined by an imbalance of control and power within a relationship. Even if both people involved are engaging in toxic behavior, one person typically has the upper hand and is the instigator of abuse. This is what makes a relationship abusive: one person exercising their will over the other. Why the Term Mutual Abuse Is Harmful(Photo by Courtney Clayton on Unsplash)Among domestic violence experts, the term mutual abuse is not only a myth but a harmful concept to perpetuate because it falls into the realm of victim blaming. The Heard vs. Depp case isn’t the first high profile one to highlight a victim’s accountability. (The O.J. Simpson and Nicole Brown Simpson murder case did the same.) Sadly, it likely won’t be the last case to do this either, especially if terms like mutual abuse continue to be used incorrectly.According to Ruth Glenn, president and CEO of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, within every abusive incident between two people, there's always a "primary aggressor," she tells NBC News. (Glenn references the term “reactive abuse,” which is sometimes used in place of mutual abuse.)"I don't believe in mutual abuse,” Glenn continued. "It just doesn't sound right, reactive abuse. I'm going to abuse you as a reaction? No, I'm going to defend myself as a reaction."Both of these phrases are problematic for the reason she outlines. The person being abused is not the initiator. They might be defensive. They might act out as a reaction to being abused. But they are not trying to control their partner or wield power over them. In anything, a person who is reacting to an abusive person is trying to get the abuse, violence and control to stop. When phrases like mutual abuse (and reactive abuse, for that matter) are misappropriated, they end up harming victims and minimizing the gravity of their situations. Decoding the myth of mutual abuseSo if it’s not mutual abuse, or reactive abuse, what is really going on? According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, the myth of mutual abuse lies in the following three criteria which designates an abuser from someone who is being abused—or trying to survive abuse—in their relationship. Abusers aren’t engaging in self defensePeople who are abusive act this way to gain power and control over a situation or another person. Someone being abused may act out as a reaction to this abuse—for instance, if an abusive partner is blocking a doorway and preventing their partner from leaving, that person may need to use physical force in order to get by and find safety. While it’s not healthy to scream back at someone or use violence, people who are being abused may need to resort to these actions when their physical safety is at risk or if they are pushed to their mental breaking point. Self defense is not abuse. That’s worth repeating. Self. Defense. Is. Not. Abuse. RELATED: Signs You’re Dealing With Narcissistic AbuseVictims of abuse may reframe their situations as mutually abusive out of self-preservation or as a defense mechanism. To admit that they are suffering from abuse can increase their fear of their partners, as well as feelings of despair and loneliness from being within an abusive situation. Abusers often try to shift blame When abusive partners claim that their relationships are “mutually abusive” they are often trying to shift the blame from where it belongs (soley on them) to their partners. Abusive people don’t usually take responsibility for their actions—making excuses (“you made me do it”) and shifting blame are common tactics. This is a form of manipulation and abuse in itself. When a person who is being abused believes that they are also at fault this leads to them thinking they are responsible for their own abuse and even that they deserve the treatment they are getting. This further subjugates a person being abused and allows the abuser to exercise even more control. Abusers aren’t seeking change Another key difference between someone who is abusing and someone who is being abused is that the former isn’t usually looking to change the status quo. The person being abused wants the abuse to stop. Abusive people rarely seek help—they might fall into a pattern of trying to make up for their behavior temporarily only to continue the cycle of violence but breaking free of that cycle isn’t something they will typically initiate. Getting Out of an Abusive Relationship(Photo by Brynden on Unsplash)Mutual abuse simply isn’t a thing. The power dynamics of an abusive relationship are one-sided by nature. Basically, ban this phrase from your vocabulary so that you’re not perpetuating harmful myths that minimize and discount the pain of people suffering in abusive relationships. Okay?If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, help is just a phone call away. Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233, day or night. The hotline is available 24/7 in both English and Spanish with over 200 other languages through interpretation service.KEEP READING: Domestic Abuse Survivor Marries The First Responder Who Saved Her Life