Shawn K

The pressures can seem constant, and they're flying at us from every direction, morning to night. Performance and productivity are the buzzwords of our age, and speed and efficiency are its lifeblood. But what would happen if instead of rushing through our lives in a perpetual state of fatigue and distraction, we simply tried to slow down -- enough to catch a breather and a moment, savor ourselves and each other, and reclaim the peace of mind that is essential to tapping into our deepest essence and harnessing our potential? All around us, we see people who are firing on all engines, working themselves to the bone, seemingly terrified that if they're not racing towards their career goals, they're falling behind. The torrent of messages flood our inboxes, social media feeds and mental space. They light up our smartphone screens with the parade of superfluous notifications demanding our attention. And the Internet is awash in tips and tricks for "hacking" the clock, and squeezing more and more out of each minute we exist. But are we actually squeezing more time and activity out of every day? Or are we only squeezing more life out of ourselves? Slow and Happy Wins the Race: Why Doing Less Will Give You More The great benefit of slowing down is reclaiming the time and tranquility to make meaningful connections -- with people, with culture, with work, with nature, with our own bodies and minds. - Carl Honoré I'd like you to slow down for a moment... and think about when you are at your most focused, creative, and dynamic. Is it when your mind is rested and well, or when you're stressed and overwhelmed by the flood of demands on your time and mental energies? Our culture of speed is arsenic for the anxious, and stress has become such an integral part of our daily lives that many of us have forgotten how destructive it is, not only for our mental and physical health, but for the very goals we claim to be sacrificing for. The problem with this industrial-era idea of productivity is that it was designed for economic output rather than human potential. And as the modern epidemics of burnout, stress, anxiety, obesity and other lifestyle-related illnesses loudly remind us, there's a high price to be paid for riding roughshod over the bodies and minds that nature gave us. Sabotaging ourselves in a culture of speed Too often, the first casualties of our breathless and hyperactive lives are the very things that are so essential to our health and well-being. We have little time for our friends and loved ones. We have little time to prepare proper meals and enjoy them with our families. We have little time to exercise, meditate, nourish our minds and souls with cultural and leisure activities, or cultivate hobbies outside of work. But not everyone is buying into the (very Anglo-American) idea that faster is better. Around the world, there is a growing movement of people who feel that if we slowed down and did less, we would reap the benefits in the additional love and care made available for the fewer things that are worth doing, and worth doing well. Carl Honoré's international bestseller, In Praise of Slowness: Challenging the Cult of Speed, lists some of the main examples. In praise of slow: harnessing our potential In Italy, the Slow Food Movement is trying to turn back the clock on our industrialized lifestyles that have seen us increasingly abandon proper food preparation and ingredients, as well as the ritual of dining together, in favor of fast food and processed ingredients that are literally killing us. In the world of education, some of the most prestigious private primary schools in the world have implemented a ban on homework for students under the age of 13 -- often over the initial objection of parents, who worried that their children would fall behind. The result? In one such school in Scotland, students' math and science test scores went up by 20%. Even Ivy League universities like Harvard are now actively encouraging students to slow down and be happy with doing less. And perhaps most important of all, all across Europe the work week is getting shorter, with Scandinavian countries leading the way in demonstrating that the happiness and productivity of workers go hand in hand, and that both go up as employees get to enjoy a healthier work-life balance. Even some of the biggest corporations in the world have begun to understand that more work hours don't equate to more results, and that it's likely even the opposite. That's why Google allots 20% of their employees' paid time to roaming freely around the grounds, engaging in social interaction or reflection so as to stimulate their creativity. If Einstein said it, it must be so What Google, the Scandinavian countries, the Scottish primary school, and the Italian Slow Food Movement have all understood is that humans are at their best when their environments and lifestyles are working with, and not against, the necessities of our mental, physical and emotional well-being. Albert Einstein famously said that imagination was the highest form of intelligence, and that creativity was "intelligence having fun." Give yourself permission to slow down, and you'll reap the rewards of an intelligence that is rollicking its way to greatness.

Emotional intelligence is a big buzz word these days, and with good reason. Decades of research show that it's the single biggest predictor of success, with 90% of top performers having high emotional intelligence. It's emotional intelligence that explains why people with average IQs outperform those with the highest IQs 70% of the time.But what exactly is emotional intelligence, and why is it so vital to achieving your goals?The shortest answer is that it's all about self-awareness. It's the ability to recognize, understand, and manage one's emotional responses, so as to better be able to recognize, understand and influence the emotions of others.Let's delve into the longer answer now, so we can see how self-awareness is the single most important factor in finding happiness, success and fulfillment in life.Know Thyself: Why Self-Awareness is the Starting Point for Your GoalsKnowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.- AristotleThe term "emotional intelligence" was coined by two researchers in 1990 and popularized by author and psychologist Daniel Goleman in his groundbreaking 1995 book, Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ.The idea was pretty revolutionary for the time, in a culture where the word "intelligence" (still) tends to refer by default to the logic-based form of thinking that's tested by IQ. Suddenly, we were told that there is not one form of intelligence, but potentially many, and that our emotions, rather than being weaknesses or obstacles to be overcome, instead possessed their own inherent wisdom that we could learn to harness. Emotional intelligence shook up our old assumptions, by showing that our emotions and intelligence are not in conflict with each other, but actually work together.How?The four stages of emotional intelligenceThe term emotional intelligence might be very recent, but the idea behind it as old as history. Back in the day, when Ancient Athenians would go to see the oracle to discuss their problems -- basically the old-school Greek equivalent of going to see your shrink or priest for advice -- an inscription above the doorway served as a constant reminder of the source and solution to all our problems: Know thyself.When Daniel Goleman listed the four stages of emotional intelligence, it all began at the same starting point:Self-awarenessSelf-managementSocial awarenessRelationship-managementI like to think of these stages as four concentric circles, where we begin at the center with self-awareness, and gradually expand our abilities outwards as we deepen our knowledge of ourselves, and by extension, others.Let's go on an adventure now through the four stages of emotional intelligence.Self-awareness: where it all beginsOur journey to self-awareness begins with practicing mindfulness in our everyday. For me, it was yoga that launched me down the path to deepening my self-awareness. Engaging in silent meditation, deep breathing, or other meditative activities (anything from walking, to sewing or painting, to listening to music) are all powerful techniques for calming the mind so that you can hear your emotions speak. Keeping a journal can be a wonderful tool for clearing your thoughts and getting to know yourself better too.Whatever avenues you choose, the crucial part is that you learn to listen attentively to what's happening beneath the surface without letting your mind suppress or distort what emerges. You need to listen as you would to a dear friend, without judgment, so that you can learn from your emotions. If you speak over them whenever they disappoint or frustrate your ideal version of yourself, you'll prevent yourself from arriving at a faithful portrait of who and where you are now.Self-managementTo move from self-awareness to the second stage of self-management requires that we take responsibility for our emotions. To own our emotions isn't to assign fault or blame -- that would amount to some pretty major judging after all! -- but to understand that the causes of our emotions are always internal to us, and not ascribable to whatever external factors may have triggered them.When we begin to understand that the causes and triggers are two separate things, we can start to observe and understand better the relationship between the two in our inner worlds. And once we understand the things that trigger us and why, we can start to manage our behavior when emotions arise, or even anticipate and prepare beforehand if we sense a trigger coming our way.It's a powerful thing to reclaim your emotions. When we learn to stop blaming others for our feelings of hurt, fear or anxiety, we stop trying to control others or retaliate against them. We focus instead on managing our own inner worlds, and guiding our lives to maximize the positive influences around us.On the flipside, when we stop crediting others for our feelings of joy or accomplishment, we become less dependent on others for our happiness, and are more able and empowered to build strong and healthy relationships.Social awarenessThis takes us neatly into the third stage of emotional intelligence, which flows naturally from self-awareness and self-management. Put simply, the more you get to know yourself, the less you seek validation from others. Rather than looking at people around you and imagining mirrors reflecting back at you, you begin to truly see them. You relax, and find that a secure and peaceable mind is one that opens up more readily to others.I know, because this used to be me. I had a veil of insecurities that hung between me and my closest friends, and that prevented me from developing deeper connections with them. Today, my exceptional closeness with my friends is the achievement I cherish most in my life.In short, the more you know yourself, the better you get to know others.Relationship-managementThis is where we've reached the peak. Because fewer skills are more central to your life goals -- be they related to happiness, fulfillment or professional success -- than being able to read others' emotional language, understand and empathize with them, and build strong and lasting connections that will steady you when you faulter, launch you to the next level when you least expect it, and propel you across the finish line with a smile.So the next time someone asks you for the secret to success, you can throw a little Socrates their way. It's two simple words: Know thyself.