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  • Shaz Khan

    Writer. Thinker. Engineer. Finding his passion somewhere between intellect & intuition, Shaz writes to encourage ideation, understand life, explore truths we often forget, and draw simplicity from all the chaos. Feel free to join along his journey on Facebook! Also check out a startup he is advising at: https://www.getonedesk.com
What Does It Mean to Live a Successful Life? This Exercise Will Give You Answers
Purpose

What Does It Mean to Live a Successful Life? This Exercise Will Give You Answers

As I prepare to release my next book, Cancel the Noise, I want to share with each of you a major discovery that has appeared to me more and more over the course of my journey. I will repeat this discovery until the day I pass, because I believe it is the most important thing you can ever recognize. If you read anything, read this. The idea that I want to talk about is the paradox of our priorities: how we pursue lifestyles built on our resumés, yet as we knowingly approach death, we yearn to be remembered by every quality except that resumé. You see, during the course of our lives, we seek success of every tangible sort, but when it comes to looking back on a life once-lived, those tangible things—the measuring cups of our entire existence—seem emptier than ever. I have never read, nor have I written, a eulogy that expressed how accomplished a person was, or how brilliant of a worker they were. Even the most celebrated innovators are not eulogized by the impact of their inventions, but by their motives, the bonds they formed, acts of kindness, and what they meant to the people around them. With this said, I’d like to offer a tidbit to those who ask “What should I do next?” referring to their life and career. This past year, my inbox has flooded with this question. I don’t know the answer, but I have a better question. What words will be used by loved ones describing and celebrating your legacy? If you wonder what a successful life really feels like, all you have to do is close your eyes and think about what you want your eulogy to sound like. Do it right now. Internalize this list. Memorize it. Stare at it every day. What you are staring at is your personal definition of success. It sounds crazy, but everything else you’re pursuing—everything else you whine and worry about—is secondary. And if you’re going to do those secondary things, make sure they serve your list; make sure they increase your capacity to live by the qualities on your list. Stop chasing things that’s aren’t on your list. Because that list is all you have. The reality—the inescapable pain—is that you’ll either pass away first, or you’ll live long enough to see everyone you love pass away. Every person you’ll ever meet will also have to endure one of these two outcomes. This can be a daunting, even depressing, truth to face... but it can also be your call to action: to put aside the past, to forgive, and to love people a little harder today. And that, my friends, is the only way to live a successful life. With intent, not regret. What’s on your list? Wishing you clarity on your journey. With love, Shaz

Why I Stopped Networking and How it Helped Me Build Successful Relationships
Entrepreneurs

Why I Stopped Networking and How it Helped Me Build Successful Relationships

Networking is an activity in which people focus primarily on increasing their odds of meeting someone who can do something for them. In pursuit of these outcomes, networkers fall in the trap of attending mislabeled soirées where everyone is looking for a "plug," where self-importance is the leading quality, and no one is vulnerable about their shortcomings. Networkers are the new speed daters. Lots of conversations, no meaningful relationships. Contrary to this, those who seek longevity in relationships aren’t concerned with short sales and being plugged—they care for the quality of their bond, not the utility of their network. The question being asked is not, “What can you do for me?” but “How aligned are our values and what do you care about?” By connecting and working strictly and solely with those who overlap in values, the likelihood of mutually beneficial opportunities—personal and professional—exponentiates over time. Trust reinforces this. If you stop trying to network and start building genuine connections with people, listening to them, learning to trust them, helping them get what they want, and you do these things consistently, eventually those same people will help you get what you want, and your circle will grow to include other aligned minds. Do this long enough despite setbacks, and you will always receive every opportunity you seek. Because you will be surrounded not by people who can take you where you want to go, but by people who want to go to the same places, who understand that no one gets there alone. These are also the people you can ask help to because you mutually have each other's back. A circle of influence is built on a foundation of trust. Most people want to climb their summits so badly, they negate the value of forming a trusting tribe along the way. That’s where the actual value is, after all. So stop trying to “network.” Focus on finding your tribe.

Love is Your Legacy and Happiness is Your Myth - Here's Why
Purpose

Love is Your Legacy and Happiness is Your Myth - Here's Why

If we look at everything in life that we consider great -- people and ideas alike, all of them left a long-lasting legacy that still makes us say “wow!" to this day. We all want to make a difference of our own. The big question is: how do we do it? We have to understand that legacy, in its essence, is a construct humans invented and perfected in order to feel significant in a universe that physically dwarfs us. Why do we care about legacy so much? Because feelings are perceived as reality in the human mind, the concept of a legacy teases us with the idea of immortality. This is arguably our greatest aspiration. To leave something behind that lasts well beyond our physical form, propelling us into significance. We cannot "prove" the meaning of life -- we cannot calculate why we show up, catch feelings, have experiences, and then just ...die -- so we rationalize our presence in this world by developing a core commitment to things that can outlast us: religion, children, businesses, etc. Life then becomes a series of contributions we make to these things in order to create the legacy that we so badly crave. We basically want to feel like we mattered. We use grand, selfless contributions to do so. And what is the essence of a grand, selfless contribution? Love. What matters the most During a recent business meeting, I said, “every one of you is here, ultimately, because you love someone.” Let us not forget that no matter what commitments we choose to fulfill our personal legacies, it is this selfless contribution of love that gives them meaning. So smile at strangers, be kind to everyone, meet anger with compassion, give unconditionally, change people’s lives, and expect nothing in return. Live a life of love. Build your legacy. But as you do so, remember that the journey won’t always feel like love; happiness won’t always feel like it's there. RELATED: Love Your Limitations: Without Them, You Would Never Grow I once used to find myself daydreaming of a life where happiness was a permanent state, only to have life teach me that this was not an ideal, but an illusion. I learned that there is no permanent state. Utopia is a lie. The ground beneath us will always shake. Always. Unhappiness doesn't ruin our lives, expecting permanence does I learned that sometimes there is happiness, and sometimes there is sadness, and that's just the way it is. And I learned that it's not sadness that hurts us most... it's clinging to either side. That's what ruins our lives: expecting permanence. We often use the idea of hope, perhaps of a "happier" future, to avoid looking at our scars, and in doing so, we deny ourselves the present moment. Every time we try to numb our pain, we miss out on being broken open to see what we're made of. We eat and drink and talk and work and exercise and write and read, and we tell ourselves we’re healing when all we’ve done is run away. After all, everything can be an escape if we try hard enough. What we need is to sit with our fears, and our pain, and our scars. We need to let ourselves fall apart. I believe that's the only way to live. Not in hope of tomorrow, or of "pulling yourself together," but in the present moment, knowing that nothing is permanent. There is more beauty in those "my life is over" moments than we allow ourselves to see. Yes, loss and rejection are terrifying and exhausting, but you're not giving up. You're ready. It’s time to stop running. It's time to step into the storm. You'll find calm in the center.

This Is How You Hack Purpose
Purpose

This Is How You Hack Purpose

I want to first talk about this word: contentment. This can be an ambiguous term, often even wrongfully being interchanged with the word “happiness”. However, they are not the same, and before we can understand purpose, we must first understand this difference: If you like what you’re doing, you are happy. If you love why you’re doing it, you are content. When we are happy, we are experiencing momentary joy; our brain is anticipating a rush of dopamine and serotonin during the course of an activity or a moment. If we are deprived of such a rush, we will be deprived of said happiness. When we are content, on the other hand, we are mindful of the moment, fully accepting challenges that may arise. Being content means being driven not solely by the prospect of joy, but by the longevity of purpose: which is to contribute to something bigger than ourselves. In other words, contentment transcends the mere need to experience pleasure, and places our value in the heart of a mission. Such a pursuit leaves us fulfilled even in the face of difficulties, because, as part of something larger, our burdens are dwarfed by the desire to maximize our potential and have an impact on others. So, to be content, we must clearly identify this purpose thing: an idea or a mission that we can be part of, to which we can commit ourselves with such conviction. Yet, when we don’t feel like we’ve found it, we grow evermore frustrated because we don’t even know what we’re looking for, all we know is the void felt in its absence. If all we know is this void, life becomes a cycle of just doing more things that simply make us happy in the moment. And so, we live our lives chasing highs, going from peak-to-peak and pleasure-to-pleasure, numbingly unenthused by what’s in between. We’ve all been there. And if you’re still there, it’s okay. I know what you’re thinking: how do I find purpose? …Ready to have your mind blown? If the path to contentment is purpose, then the secret to purpose is empathy. We have to first acknowledge that we are already part of something bigger than ourselves. It’s called the human race. Once you recognize this, you see that you have something to learn from everybody. Yes, every single person. Realize that every conversation is like reading a book, supplementing your existing foundation with newly acquired knowledge or perspective. By connecting with others and attempting to understand them, you will feel enthused to share your own thoughts, experiences & understandings with them. You will learn their stories and what they care about. The cumulative effect of these conversations and connections induces mental stimulation. You see the world in a new way, you consider new perspectives, and you feel understood by those who have similar or opposing narratives. Do this frequently and you’ll be able to reflect on the nature of the conversations that move you most. What conversations are you most passionate about? With whom are these conversations happening? What are you discussing that moves you? The answers here will point you to your purpose. Acquire as much knowledge as possible in the areas you identify. Find ways to test your new knowledge, perspectives, and ideas in the real world. Have more conversations about things you care about, and master those things by becoming intimately familiar with each. In time, you will identify opportunities and resources in the world that map to these passions, because now you actually know what to look for. By saying yes to new opportunities, you will better understand how you can apply your knowledge to add value, and you will soon be hunting opportunities to do things you love, ready to overcome every challenge as it pertains to your passions. This is how you hack purpose. Not by trying to be happy, but by trying to find the bridge between what others have to share, and that which moves you most. If you pay attention and observe the ways in which you’re growing as a result of this process, and if you feel understood by even one person with whom you share a passion, contentment will follow. You will no longer live from peak-to-peak, but instead find yourself committed to conversations and opportunities that fill the gaps. My early years were spent trying to prove to others how much I knew, because it was expression of intelligence that validated me alone. Today, I understand what others can teach me, because it is learning I value. As a result of this conscious shift, I have learned more from the people and the world around me than I did from hundreds of books in the decade prior. This state of empathy has allowed me to connect with people in several different industries, whom I can then share my skills with, adding value to their lives, and feeling fulfilled in the process. This tactic—of dedication to constant personal growth—requires the participation of community. By listening to others and asking what I can learn from them, I can gain: explicit knowledge, a hard skill, or an implicit analysis of why others act as they do. Each piece, paired with my own experience, evolves me to the next version of myself, and allows me, by example, to live my purpose and bring others closer to theirs. Everybody is your teacher. Live that mantra, and you will live your purpose.

All Roads Lead to This Place: A Story of Empathy
Stories

All Roads Lead to This Place: A Story of Empathy

“Gratitude must be something we strive for.” These were the words I uttered to my friend, as he asked me to weigh in on his divorce. I was quite intentional with the way I phrased my response, because when someone is expressing their pain to you, the first thing to do is listen. The second is to wait for them to ask for your input; and if they do not ask, do not offer it. More often than not, our deepest desire is simply to be understood -- to be heard… not to be told what should’ve been done, or what went wrong, or how things could have been different if we had only *insert advice*. All Roads Lead to This Place: A Story of Empathy If you are eventually asked for your input in the midst of someone’s crises, do not use the opportunity to employ your “I know what to do” agenda; do not rely on empty ego-boosts to distract them from their pain; and do not fall into the belittling of other parties. Above all else, do not say “everything happens for a reason,” because this offers zero value to a wandering mind and no consolation to an aching heart. When we are in the depths of our despair, we cling to anything that gives us hope, and this idea that ‘everything happens for a reason’ causes us to become hyper-focused on a future that unfolds some magic reason. In this state of mind, we yearn for immediate validation of our trauma, and in doing so, we become so obsessed with witnessing our ‘reason’ that we ignore our greatest truth: that we don’t need a reason. That life is still happening all around us. Moving forward in life is an eventual process. We must allow that process, and enable it in others with compassion, no matter how long it may take. We must understand that we are in no position to even begin understanding the lessons others will learn, nor can we lessen their pain along the way. But we can listen without being instructors. We can empathize without being saviors. We are in no position to even begin understanding the lessons others will learn, nor can we lessen their pain along the way. But we can listen without being instructors. We can empathize without being saviors. You see, as an empathic soul, you feel the struggle of others, but you also feel sympathy and want to help ease their lives, too. This response, however, tends to be based on ego more than anything. Sympathy and empathy are not the same. The idea that we must respond with our own diagnosis, that we are enlightened enough to 'correct' someone's journey, misses the point of empathy. The day I discovered this, I felt like I finally understood people. I learned what empathy truly is. Empathy is not hurting for others and offering advice for which a 'thanks' is due, but something much more challenging. It is being present for what someone wants to express in the midst of melancholy. Empathy is knowing the emotions that overcome all people in distress. And empathy is allowing them to express their reality, void of judgment, inquiry, or interruption. When we can step back and, by virtue of listening, say, "I may not understand, but I acknowledge you," then we've graduated to empathy. If we all acknowledge a little more, we can be brought into a calming awareness of the human experience – one that softens us into clarity rather than contempt. And with this softening, comes the birth of our freedom. This is the moment we begin living. The moment we admit our ultimate fear of laying on a deathbed having lived so often in regret that our only wish is to go back and live in a different way. And so, gratitude must be something we strive for, because the only alternative is fear—a fear we already have the power to extinguish. The real question is of when we choose to face that flame. The fear you didn't want to face, the experience you didn't want to endure, the love you didn't want to lose, the ego you didn't want to escape -- these are the things that will carve your story. The fear you didn't want to face, the experience you didn't want to endure, the love you didn't want to lose, the ego you didn't want to escape -- these are the things that will carve your story. The stake that drives you to the ground today is the launchpad that catapults you to the moon tomorrow. So when you offer advice on what others "should have" done, please remember, their experiences, too, are leading them on a journey of courage, far more valuable than the moment you perceive. What better way to exhibit this essence than to meet life with gratitude? Surely, we walk different paths, but all roads, it seems, lead to this place. I’ll meet you there.

We Must Cherish the Treasure Within Us All
Mindset

We Must Cherish the Treasure Within Us All

You know what's really tough? Loving people for who they are. Not for who we want them to be. Not for who we think they can be. But loving them exactly as they are today. It's tough, because we have our own expectations by which we measure others. We focus so much on whether the other person is meeting our standards that we forget to love them for being uniquely flawed and evolving, just like ourselves –- perhaps at a different pace, in a different place. But when we actually succeed, when we love someone for who they are, we see how quickly they begin to transform into the greatest, most inspired version of themselves.You see, the truth is that we don't know a thing about the silent battles fought by those we admire; battles that are perhaps compensated for by their very bravado we respect. We do not see the pain hidden behind their smile. We do not see the suffering and loss they have endured. But more importantly, we do not know what wisdom is hidden in the hearts of those who go unnoticed. Recognizing this humanizes our role models, flattens our egos, and gives us reason to treat every person with compassion and kindness. The most broken people have taught me more about life than some teachers ever could. They’ve taught me hope.We do not know what wisdom is hidden in the hearts of those who go unnoticed.Now, one of my favorite things to do is give that hope to others. To understand their fears, and assure them that their dreams are much more powerful than their demons. To dissolve their insecurities and remind them that they don't have to have it all figured out in order to move forward. These are my favorite things, not because I have more to share than anyone else, but because it is so often that I, myself, need to hear the words I speak. By offering hope to others, I develop hope for myself. See, the reality is that no matter how insightful someone may seem, they are equally clueless. Enlightenment begins here, with the sobering reminder that there are no masters in life... only helpers.Enlightenment begins here, with the sobering reminder that there are no masters in life... only helpers.Be a helper. Inspire someone. Empower their soul. Awakening to this journey is the treasure. It is the only treasure. Because cemeteries are not just where we bury those who have passed, but also where we entomb the treasures of our future. Think, for a moment, of all the untapped wisdom and love. Think of all the books that will never be written, hugs that will never be given, and dreams that will never come to light. In this light, the cemetery is the most valuable place on Earth — for it is here where our regrets come to rest.Think of this when that voice in your head says you're not good enough, or convinces you to start tomorrow instead of today. Think of this when you're holding a grudge. Think of how fortunate you are to have another day to share your gifts with the world. If for no other reason, think of this — be humbled by this — before you do the things you wish. I assure you, if you think as often as you should, you'll never postpone another day. So think. And spend every ounce of your life in the passionate pursuit of that which moves your soul. Let your treasure be known.Watch the video:

What Nature Can Teach Us About Life
Self-Development

What Nature Can Teach Us About Life

What Nature Can Teach Us About Life And even after all this time, the sun never says to the Earth, "you owe me." Look what happens with a love like that. It lights the whole sky. - Hafiz As a student of life, I believe that intelligence manifests itself not through expression or formality, but through observation and genuine curiosity. Observing nature is always an awe-inspiring, spiritual experience for me; I could sit and watch waves crash for hours. The ocean, in particular, reminds me how incredibly fascinating our planet is, and how little we know, despite what we think we know. There is nothing more humbling than being face-to-face with something so much bigger than yourself. But I often wonder why nature inspires us, and why we're in awe of certain scenery, and why we find these landscapes, oceans, and stars so breathtaking. We haven’t done anything to earn this awe, so why do we feel it? It is this very question that leads me to believe our most inspired state, then, is not one of accomplishment, but of humility. I think we naturally fall in love with places that prove how small we are... places that humble us with reminders that we have so much more to learn, so much more to grow; that we are part of something bigger than ourselves. Our significance lies in such potential, in that quiet recognition of the stardust in our bones and the oceans in our minds, knowing that a new sunrise paints our skies every day of our lives. And by virtue of just being—by existing—nature gives us free front row seats. It’s like we’ve won the evolutionary lottery. That’s why I find it perplexing that we live such misdirected, consumed lives. We could quite literally not exist at all; we could be nothing, we could be incapable of perceiving any of this. All of us are always just one unexpected phone call, one diagnosis, one broken heart, one newfound love, and one moment away from being completely different people with completely different priorities. Indeed, how frail we are. And yet, how blessed we are. You see, those seemingly insignificant moments spent with nature remind you of what’s important; they remind you that all we really have is our consciousness, and each other. After all, what is life without either? I would say, then, that it matters little what we've “achieved” if those achievements are not also in service of others. The sense of purpose we feel when we give... far outweighs what is derived from any achievement. Unlike a trophy, which fades into darkness, giving has a glory that lasts a lifetime.

The 6 Signs You Have Found Your Soulmate--And How To Prepare For It
Marriage

The 6 Signs You Have Found Your Soulmate--And How To Prepare For It

With additions by Ricky DeriszWhat we find in a soulmate is not something wild to tame, but something wild to run with.Robert BraultWhen you hear the word soulmate, you probably think of some unexpected, perfect, just-like-you match that comes into your life one day and takes your breath away. We love to believe this myth. One reason we love it is because it requires little to no effort on our part, as the outcome is written in the stars, and guided by fate.Sure, it’s frustrating to wait for Mr or Ms. Right, but believing in this myth is the easy path. If destiny is in control, finding love is a passive process. Not only that, but this parable justifies wandering wishes – of discovering someone who causes us little to no friction.Life is already tough. Wouldn’t it be great to find someone who can finally accept ‘you’ as-is? The irony is, believing in this myth could be the one thing preventing you from finding and developing a relationship with your true soulmate.DefinitionA soulmate, meaning someone with which you have the closest possible human bond. Although this can be platonic, such as a best friend, most people link the idea of a soulmate with romance. As the term implies, the relationship has spiritual connotations — including a shared connection that transcends time and space, or multiple lifetimes.A soulmate is usually far more disruptive than the false ideal of a missing puzzle piece that will complete your life and make everything okay. At its most intense, this person sees directly into your soul, destroying the inauthentic, false ‘you’ in the process. From this, something beautiful happens, as the real You is acknowledged, celebrated, and revealed. That includes your dreams, your beauty, and the immense strength you carry within.Consequently, a soulmate is in your life for a distinct purpose or mission. This is an important aspect of this relationship, as a soulmate isn’t here to make you feel comfortable, or make things easy. They know who you really are; they will help you break through the limitations you see in yourself, and if necessary they will upset the very foundation of your ego.(United States Information Service/PhotoQuest/Getty Images)Their greatest gift and most important role is that they don’t fit the myth of perfection. Instead, a soulmate is a loving and revealing transformer. A person who isn’t afraid to challenge the ideas you have of yourself. They will expose you to flaws that keep you from achieving your true potential – in mind, body, and in spirit.To quote Elizabeth Gilbert, “a soulmate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.”At times, the process hurts. Not because they are here to hurt us, but because if we protect the ideas we have of ourselves with a proverbial death grip, letting go of an ego-identity, to grow into something greater, feels like a risk. But the risk is always worth taking, especially in the company of a true spiritual companion.Relationships and spiritual growthWhen someone comes along who has gotten so close as to see into our truest, deepest nature, we become exposed. We become confused. We become vulnerable. And like any other muscle in our body, the heart and mind must be vulnerable to experience growth; only then can we develop true strength.As humans, we fear change and love comfort, but it is change that gives us the ability to stand in our own courage and proclaim victory over the challenges we never thought we could overcome, let alone those we never even knew existed.Fear hides behind ego, behind the illusion of strength… and so, there is a special love reserved for those whose grand, yet humble presence causes us to be so exposed that we actually become better people in our own eyes. We form a new kind of power that is rooted in what most people consider weakness. We find strength in vulnerability.The world has plenty of powerful people with seemingly indestructible egos, and even more naysayers and yes-men. What we really need are vulnerable people, those who live from the heart. Less fear, and more courage. Less smoke, and more mirrors. What we need are soulmates.The 6 signs you have found your soulmateThere’s no definitive checklist to confirm you’ve found your soulmate. Meaning and purpose with a partner is something felt on a heart level. Even if there are ups and downs, the connection feels resolute, strong, and nourishing. But if you have thought “who is my soulmate?,” these signs indicate you’ve found a potential contender:An intuitive knowing: This is the number one sign. Perhaps it feels as if you’ve met this person before, or your gut just tells you this person is special.The timing is right: There’s a poem that claims people come into your life for a season, a reason, or a lifetime. A soulmate will appear at just the right time in your life and theirs, to have the maximum impact.The relationship is built on respect: Without respect, the level of intensity or challenge can move into unhealthy, unsupportive territory. That’s not to say there’s no space for anger, jealousy, or difficult emotions to arise. But soulmate relationships are always underscored by respect. The dynamic moves towards authenticity: Any challenge, any reflection, will at its core lead you to yourself. It’s hard, if not impossible, to hide in a soulmate dynamic. Fears around intimacy or being truly seen may surface, but you will be shown the ways in which you aren’t embodying who you are here to be.You feel like the best version of yourself: A soulmate will help you flourish and thrive, not shrink and hide. The relationship will help you feel like the best version of yourself. Not always, of course, but mostly you feel this person totally gets you and accepts you for who you are.The practical meets the spiritual: It could be a soulmate appears only to be in your life for a short period of time. But typically, a true soulmate will align with you practically, as well as spiritually. That means having similar goals, visions, and approaches to life, in addition to a spiritual bond.When will you meet your soulmate?There is a note of caution with entering such a dynamic. It takes a willingness, independence, and spiritual insight to ensure the process of “destruction” is autonomous. Sure, it will hurt at times, but the ability to discern when someone is reflecting blind spots in a way that catalyzes growth, or when someone is being disruptive in an unhealthy way, is crucial.As a result, most people will meet their soulmate when they are spiritually and emotionally developed enough to enter such a relationship. For others, a soulmate relationship is nourishing and supportive, if that is what is most needed. Someone who lacks trust or had a difficult upbringing may attract a soulmate who provides a feeling of security and belonging.(Photo Media/ClassicStock/Getty Images)So the word of warning is to be aware of the line between supportive and at times difficult reflection, and traits that point more towards an unhealthy dynamic. How can you prepare to meet your soulmate? It begins with inner work. And inner work begins by asking yourself some tough questions:Do you trust your discernment? The desire to meet a soulmate shouldn’t lead to accepting damaging relationships. A soulmate relationship isn’t a power dynamic, but a dynamic of co-support that is honest enough to sometimes cause short-term upset. As a result, consider if you trust your discernment on an emotional and spiritual level.Are you prepared to be receptive to any reflection, without blindly accepting your soulmate’s perspective? Part of discernment is the ability not to accept anything you're told, but to take time to consider what has been presented. A true soulmate will give space for this integration. A partner who attempts to force their viewpoint is a red flag.Do you have a solid sense of self? Falling in love can lead to codependency and a collapse of ego boundaries. As a result, it’s important to have a solid understanding of who you are; that includes your boundaries, your values, your beliefs, wants, and desires. Yes, they’ll be challenged! And you may find them change. But the key is knowing what within you has to change, and what feels true.Have you cultivated self-worth outside of romance? Many people look to romantic relationships to complete them. The intensity of a soulmate relationship can easily mask any issues with self-worth or self-esteem, leading to an overemphasis on your partner to make you feel whole.Trust that these relationships contain a seed of mystery, and you’re not in full control of when you will meet your soulmate. The best action step is to be receptive, open, and focus on developing self-worth and spiritual growth, independent of any single relationship.It’s also worth noting that there is a distinction between a soulmate and a twin flame. Throughout life, you might have numerous soulmate relationships — or even a “soul tribe” of like-minded, like-hearted people. Any of these, at different times, can reflect what needs to be reflected. A twin flame, however, has a different quality, with even more mirroring. Regardless, no single person is to be pedestalled or to have the final say over your life. A soul mate knows this, and will guide gently, with love and respect.In conclusionToday, you may be completely oblivious to people who will mean so much to you in the future—ordinary people who will help you change your perspectives, and in doing so, will change the very quality of your life experience.We have zero insight into how or when such connections form, and yet, in that serendipity—in our collective blindness—lies the beauty of life. So, next time you feel like you don’t make a difference, think of the power one handshake or one “hello” has to transform an entire human being. Never forget this power.You can be the soulmate someone never knew they needed. And if you’re wondering when the time is right, just remember: it’s better to live a life of a few “oh wells” than to live a life full of “what ifs.”

What It Means To Be A Leader
Entrepreneurs

What It Means To Be A Leader

I see a lot of motivated, self-proclaimed successful people who use their status to talk down to "the masses", particularly Millennials, about how lazy they are, and how they don't put in the work to be successful. We've all read their endless lectures. Yes, I'm calling out many of my peers and mentors as well, because good leadership means taking the heat. But this—this whining about others is anything but good leadership. It’s not that I’m offended, but rather that I do not find the generational narrative to be an effective one. I am not defending inaction or laziness, but I will not support petty leadership either. True leadership requires you to actually help people change for the better instead of simply telling them why they aren't enough. The truth is that if you're going to bask in the glory of your own work ethic and success, then the only talking you should ever be doing is to motivate others to learn from your better habits. Offer your lessons. Take time to share your wisdom. Motivate and encourage others. Stop the dictation. That's how real leadership works. I don't care what your accolades are, I don’t care how old or young you may be; you must understand that not everyone is fulfilled in the same ways as you. You must understand that true leadership requires you to actually help people change for the better instead of simply telling them why they aren't enough, or why they aren't like you. So, perhaps it's not Baby Boomers vs. Millennials, but all of us, as leaders, that should be putting in more work to communicate our challenges and thus, be of greater service to each other. What It Means To Be A Leader Do you want to be a leader? Congratulations, you get to spend your free time mentoring others, in addition to the grueling hours you spend 'putting in the work'. Indeed, the work itself may be more than others are doing, but it's not enough for leadership. Leadership requires you to use your platform to transform those around you, while being honest about your struggle: the period of time spent between whining and winning. There is little wisdom at either of those end points, yet there is incredible value in the journey between. Talk about the mistakes you made along the way, and watch the gates of effort open. Ask others to question who they are and what they want, then give them credit for having learned the answer because leadership is also servitude: a double-edged sword that requires you to identify your own weaknesses before you can inspire another. Leadership lacks ego, which is instead replaced with an intense responsibility and allegiance to people—to bring them to some vague promised land. To give the world something it has never seen from you. And yet, to get there, you may find yourself enduring a lot of sleepless nights, cold sweats, outstanding invoices, miscalculations, repeated rejections, the haunting failures of your past, and the viral idea that you could've done better. You don't magically become immune to the pain once you find yourself celebrated. There are ups and there are downs and there are a lot of people who you can help, and whose help you will need along the way. Then there's the nagging question of whether you have what it takes – and the ethical question of what gives you the right to lead when you actually have no idea what's next. These fears are all very convincing. In fact, I would venture to say they are part of the human experience, but I've also [slowly] been learning that great leadership isn't measured by any of those fears. It's not about being right the first time, or 100% of the time. It's not about proving anyone wrong. It's not about fame. It's not about fortune. You don't magically become immune to the pain once you find yourself celebrated. There are ups and there are downs and there are a lot of people who you can help, and whose help you will need along the way. We see, today, too many self-proclaimed “leaders” who say they have all the answers, and that is simply never true; they only prey upon your fear of uncertainty. Leadership means showing up & facing the uncertainty with honesty and integrity. Every day. For the sake of others and for the sake of your vision. You show up with conviction, you make it very clear that this is your best plan, you discuss, and you execute. And if that plan fails, you try again. And again. And again. And somehow, if you have the confidence to try despite the cloudiness, people are willing to give you a chance, and they're willing to stand with you because you actually admit to not having all the answers. It's scary, and yet, that is where I've learned to find the slightest bit of comfort in teammates and friends who are empowered by transparency, not wowed by a false bravado. These are the people who will make the ups more exhilarating and the downs less devastating. I've learned to find the slightest bit of comfort in teammates and friends who are empowered by transparency, not wowed by a false bravado. I used to pinpoint success on words like "strategy" and "charisma" and "innovative" and a lot of other self-congratulatory crap that made me feel good, but the problem was when I failed, those words failed, too. So, these days, I'm just grateful to be surrounded by people who are willing to give it a shot—to give me a shot—because, no matter what, I’m never giving up. And that, my friends, is all that matters. We just have to stop nagging and help each other overcome our challenges. Yours truly, A fellow Millennial