Why You Should Stop Looking In the Mirror - And What to Do Instead
When it comes personal development, your physicality cannot be excluded or ignored. In fact, your journey to self-improvement may even start with fitness. At its deepest core level, personal development is about the improvement of self-image and, ultimately, self-esteem. Let’s face it: It’s pretty difficult to take full advantage of the abundance of opportunities available to us if we don’t feel capable or worthy. For many people, a large part of self-image and esteem issues can be linked to how they feel about their body. The more improvement they feel their appearance needs, the less confident they are, and the snowball effect begins. Here’s the thing. Much like having a negative inner dialogue, consistently focusing on our physical imperfections only reinforce and even magnifies those "flaws." Why looking in the mirror is a bad idea If you’re not happy with your body, looking in the mirror may be a bad Idea. Every time you look in the mirror with a critical eye, you may be reinforcing a negative self-image. Unless otherwise directed, most of us tend to focus on what we don’t like about our body. We stare with loathing at our or expanding hips, belly and back side. Then, we get pissed at our body for doing exactly what we told it to do. Of course you wouldn’t remember telling your body to gain weight and look like crap. Consciously, you probably didn’t, but unconsciously, you could be sending a message that’s guiding things in the direction you don’t want it to go. FOCUS There’s a simple psycho-emotional, energetic explanation for why this happens. It can be summed up in one short and familiar sentence. “What we focus on expands.” And it will keep on expanding until we stop focusing on it. So does this mean no more mirrors, ever? NO! The mirror can actually be a very powerful tool for creating and measuring positive change. What we see in the mirror is simply a reflection. But it’s not always an accurate reflection. This is exactly why I avoid looking in the department store dressing room mirrors. Those unflattering lights could make anyone look horrible. Changing the construct The reflection we see in the mirror either physically or metaphorically represents how we see ourselves. It’s a construct based on our self-perception. So even if you lose 10, 20 or 50 pounds, you may or may not see the reality of those changes in your reflection. In his groundbreaking 1960s book Psycho-Cybernetics, Dr. Maxwell Maltz explores how even radical external physical improvements may not translate into meaningful internal changes. For example, after having plastic surgery to eliminate early childhood deformities, some patients simply could not see any improvement. Their perceptions of themselves were simply too deeply ingrained to accept change. The image paradigm Say what we want about those mirror-hogging bodybuilders many refer to as meat heads, but there’s a lot they can teach us. They are masters at using the mirror as a tool to facilitate the physical changes they want to create. They don’t negatively focus on what they don’t like. Instead, they imagine seeing what they want to create -- bigger arms, smaller waist, more tapered legs, leaner butt and a more athletic midsection. Then, with that positive image in mind, they go about the job of making it a reality. In other words, they focus on the positive (real or imagined) with a creative and determined eye -- not a critical one. Your body may hold the key to the development of your personal super power. Like the mirror, you can use both your body and mind as twin forces to move you towards what you want. Or allow them to run amuck and lead you towards what you don’t want. Make sure they’re working for you and not against you. Next time you strip down and look in the mirror, forget about the imperfections. Instead, imagine yourself as you would like to be. Leaner, stronger, more fit and confident. You'll be surprised at how fast you can create a new navigation system that will lead you towards its manifestation.
2 Powerful Mindset Hacks to Embrace Aging and Turn It Into an Advantage
If you’re in your 20s, you’ve likely heard it. If you’re in your 40s, 50s or 60s you’ve more than likely said it...a few times. “Getting Older SUCKS” We hit 40 and suddenly we find ourselves slowing down, gaining weight and losing muscle tone. We’re less energized than a few short years ago and our libido – well, let’s just say it’s not what it was when we were in our 20s. Are the majority of those symptoms the result of actual chronological aging? Or are they the physical manifestations of our perceptions, beliefs and expectations? It’s been said that “aging is a mindset” and "you’re only as old as you feel.” Really...aging is all in our head? Well, not entirely. Although the impact of getting older on our physiology is undeniable, there is evidence that our mindset may be an even bigger factor. For several years, I had the inspiring pleasure of officiating at the National Senior Games weight lifting competition in Denver Colorado. Year after year, I was blown away by the sheer brute strength of these 60, 70 and 80-year-old athletes. The weights they were lifting was staggering. More impressive, however, was their way of thinking and acting. It wasn’t the fitness of their bodies keeping them young and spry -- it was their mindset. What I learned along the way has served me well as I’ve moved into my 50s. Naturally there is the obvious: • Eat healthy • Avoid excess alcohol consumption • Monitor your health often • Exercise regularly with intensity • Get plenty of rest • Don’t stop having sex – you heard me right. • Maintain a positive attitude Those are the things we should all be doing regardless of age. But I also learned something much deeper that went directly to what I now call a “new aging mindset”. New Aging Mindset Hack 1 When most people exercise and begin eating healthy -- especially as they mature --in the back of their minds they are moving AWAY from something they want to avoid. “I don’t want to be fat” “I don’t want to feel weak and tired” “I don’t want to get old”... getting old sucks!” But trying to move away from what you don’t want is a surefire way to get more of it. By focusing on what you don’t want, you’re programming your mind to move closer to it. What many of the senior game athletes have successfully done is program their minds to move with gratitude towards what it is they do want. This is what I would hear them consistently say: “I am so grateful for my lean, athletic and strong body.” “I am incredibly appreciative for all this abundant energy and strength.” “I feel blessed to look and feel so young and vibrant.” Adapting his “towards” mindset creates power, energy and focus in the right direction. It will keep you moving unobstructed towards what you will achieve and experience in your life -- not what you don’t want. New Aging Mindset Hack 2 This mindset hack has more to do with perspective than purpose. Let’s use your cell phone as an example: At some point, you’ve had to at least suspect that your cell phone is designed specifically to last for a given period of time before the battery or other circuitry just starts to wear out. You might say it’s programmed NOT to last forever. Most of us also have a set blueprint or an unconscious program for how we’ll age and how long we’ll live. This blueprint was passed on from generation to generation starting when our ancestors first walked the earth. Over the ions the blueprint has only changed by as little as 30 or 40 additional years. It in itself is old and antiquated. This is why, with few acceptations the average man and women begins to feel the onset of aging as early 35 or 40 and never makes it past 80 or 85. Unfortunately, unlike your cell phone, you can’t buy a new model to replace your body. But you can upgrade. It is possible to change your old aging blueprint. This can change everything. Suddenly 40 or even 50 is no longer middle-aged. Instead it’s simply the beginning of a new and more powerful second half. 1. Start by making a decision. You decide your desired aging timeline. I recommend being generous. Me, I’m programmed for 115 and I refuse to give up one single day to feeling old and worn-out. 2. Act and live as if you’re already 10 or 20 years younger. George Bernard Shaw, who lived to the ripe young age of 94, once said: “We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing." Get back on a bike for crying out loud. 3. Refuse to engage in “old talk” and thinking. Don’t even joke about getting old. Stop commiserating with friends about aching joints, Viagra, the need for reading glasses or anything else other than how great you feel. 4. Go back to the “Obvious” list above and get to work immediately. You can choose the recliner or you can choose to be young and healthy forever. All it takes is a different mindset.
2 Powerful Habits that Will Destroy Your Limiting Beliefs and Change Your Life
What’s something you believe to be absolutely 100% true? Think of something right now that you believe to be irrefutably true about the world, your surroundings or perhaps someone you’re familiar with. Now ask yourself this: What is the basis of that belief? Where did it come from? How did it develop? Why do you believe it to be true? Is it a positive, empowering belief or a disempowering one? In other words, does it help you get sh*t done or does it inhibit action? What are limiting beliefs? It was once believed the world was flat and the sun orbited the earth. It was also believed that a human being was physically incapable of a running a sub-four minute mile. For countless years and millions of people, these beliefs formed the basis of actions, inactions and daily habits. No one dared to sail beyond the horizon for fear that they would plummet off the edge of the earth to their death. Those who dared challenge that belief were often never seen again. Men had been exiled, imprisoned, and even sentenced to death for challenging the doctrine that the earth and its inhabitants were at the center of the universe. The mere idea that the four-minute mile barrier could be broken by a human being was considered preposterous. Any belief to the contrary was met with laughter and even ridicule from the informed running community. How limiting beliefs affect your growth Your beliefs may be the very thing keeping you from sailing beyond the comfort of your self imposed horizon -- either shattering your own four-minute mile barrier or taking the focus off yourself as the center of the universe. The more deeply ingrained those beliefs are, the greater their unconscious influence on your actions, habits and, ultimately, your results. 2 habits to break the barrier When the relatively unknown Oxford medical student began his quest to be the first man in recorded history to run a sub four-minute mile, he was empowered by a belief. Roger Bannister had something his competition lacked -- the absolute and unyielding belief that it was possible. What he was up against was the collective belief that human beings were simply not designed to run that fast. The previous world record of 4:01.4 had held for almost a decade. Not a single attempt after almost 10 years had been able to break through that barrier. As it turns out, the actual barrier had very little to do with what we humans are physically capable of. Banister: "There was a mystique, a belief that it couldn't be done. But I think it was more of a psychological barrier than a physical barrier." The young man cracked the code with what has been called the “the single greatest individual athletic achievements of all time.” By running a mile in 3:59.4 seconds, he also shattered a universal limiting belief. How else do we explain why, after just a few short weeks of Bannister’s successful record the four-minute barrier was broken again and again by several other runners? Australian John Landy had tried and failed on six previous attempts. On his seventh attempt, which took place less than one month after Bannister’s, Landy not only succeeded, but also shaved additional time off Bannister’s record. Bannister was successful for two primary reasons: He was in the "habit" of diligent and rigorous training. He was also in the "habit" of healthy, empowered thinking. Positive thoughts such as “this is possible…I can and will do it” give birth to positive and empowering emotions. Those emotions influence empowering goal oriented action and the daily habits that ultimately lead to positive outcomes. The opposite is also true. Negative and disempowering thoughts such as "this is impossible…I can’t do this” spawn negative and dis-empowering emotions. Which lead to negative actions and habits and ultimately disappointing results. Identifying supportive and non-supportive beliefs Want a surefire way of identifying your underlying beliefs and whether or not they support your efforts or sabotage your success? Become aware of the consistent thoughts you entertain and the emotions they invoke. Make a close inspection of your daily habits. Bannister could have believed anything he wanted. If however, he didn’t support his “I can…” belief with daily action (training) it would have amounted to nothing more than additional proof that it couldn’t be done.
Feeling Stuck In Life? Take a Leap Of Faith - Here's the Formula
There she stood, toes dangling over the edge of the platform as if the laws of gravity didn’t apply to her. She was shaking, and she was scared, but she was ready to take the leap. She had to be ready -- her very life hung in the balance. Sounds like a day in the life of 42-year-old cliff diving champion Ginger Leigh Huber. It’s not! It’s about you. That is, if you’ve ever stood on that scary but thrilling precipice of change wanting to leap. Few could argue that diving into a body of water from a 98-foot cliff requires a leap of faith. And it's the same with our most profound and life-transforming changes. Unlike death-defying dives, however, most “leaps of faith” occur as a result of fear or desperation. Something has to change, and so we close our eyes and take a wild uncalculated risk and hope for the best. It doesn’t always work out. Quite often, we crash and burn. As a consequence, we never want to risk leaping again. But what if you could consciously take that same life-changing leap without the risk of falling or failing? What if, instead of just closing your eyes and hoping for the best, there was a formula? Ginger Huber's Process Before, during and after standing on that platform, Ginger Huber engages with a conscious process. She has already created rapport and connection with her body through physical conditioning. While on the platform, she instantly reestablishes that rapport with several relaxing deep breaths. Her unconscious mind is congruent with the conscious task at hand. She has agreeance. She acknowledges, then dismisses or ignores her innate amygdala FEAR response. Lastly, with one final deep breath and a literal leap of faith, she puts into practice what she has prepared to do. Unlike the millions of failed attempts, a successful leap of faith is subject to rules. Whether you’re a cliff diver, a mom wanting to explore new horizons, or a business owner searching for the next lever, the rules are the same. The LEAP formula 1. Body rapport If you are going to leap, you must have the physical energy and strength to support it. If you’re week, tired, broken or disconnected from your body, you will hesitate and likely fail. Creating rapport requires 3 things: Nourishment: Healthy, clean eating will support the cells that support you. Along with the carcinogenic poisons you want to avoid, feeding your body crap will deliver an extremely damaging message -- “you’re not worth it!” Movement: A stagnant body prefers to remain stagnant. Movement creates momentum. Regular exercise is crucial to your leap. Hydration: Your body's cells are comprised of 70-80% water. The mind/body connection thrives on hydration. 2. Brutal honesty You must have conscious/unconscious agreement. This requires understanding and quite often changing disempowering beliefs about yourself and the world. If you believe you’re not capable or deserving or what you’re leaping towards, you will not leap. Be brutally honest with yourself; you do deserve and are capable of everything you seek. You must believe that with every hydrated cell of your being. 3. Temptation After having connected with your body and coming to terms with what you truly deserve, you might still hesitate. There will always be a level of fear and doubt associated with a life changing leap. Uncertainty supports the temptation to go back. It’s like an invisible force standing behind you, holding you by the neck. It’s why we often take one step forward and two steps back. That temptation is your overprotective ego -- and it’s scared to death of change. The only true way to overcome this misguided temptation is to recognize it for what it is. Imagine it like and old drinking buddy. He or she doesn’t really want you to get sober. If you did, they wouldn’t have anyone to get drunk with anymore. Ultimately, if you take that leap, your ego will leap with you. 4. ABIF (Action Based in Faith) In the movie Back to The Future, the reluctant hero, George McFly, is forced to confront his greatest fear, his arch enemy Biff. The mild-mannered and soft-spoken McFly could never find the courage to stand up to the relentless bully. But in a climatic seen, McFly comes across Biff sexually assaulting Elaine, the woman of his dreams. In that instant, he makes the conscious decision to act. He connects with his body, draws a deep breath and cocks his fist back -- but hesitates. It isn’t until a moment later when he realizes that it’s not about him or Biff at all, but about the woman he has to save, that he takes a massive leap of faith. He glances back at his fist, then at Biff, and finally at Elaine. He then swings with everything his body can give. The haymaker catches Biff square on the chin and knocks him out cold. His life is forever changed. What is your leap really about? If your leap is exclusively about you, you will hesitate. It must be about something more than just you. It has to serve a bigger role in the universe. Make your ABIF about inspiring, saving or supporting someone, or something else. Find that purpose and you will find the strength, courage and motivation to change not only yourself but the world.
