The 3 Keys to Living With Confidence
Throughout our lives, we acquire a trunk full of masks. Masks for our families. Masks for our friends and intimate relationships. Masks for our careers and colleagues. Some may even have a mask for the lady behind the counter in the deli. Whatever the circumstance and to whatever degree of intensity, life has taught us to put on a little show depending on where we are and who we are with at any given moment. However, carrying around a trunk of masks is a heavy load -- creating confusion, frustration, and isolation as we begin to lose contact with the person underneath. While providing a level of comfort, life behind the mask is exhausting until you finally decide to reconnect with yourself and live with confidence as the wonderful, fulfilled, and imperfectly perfect person you truly already are. Focusing on the following three areas will help you to recalibrate your internal GPS and live with the unabashed self-assurance most of us haven’t experienced since early childhood. The 3 Keys to Living With Confidence Believe in yourself and there will come a day when others have no choice but to believe with you. - Cynthia Kersey Authenticity Truth is the shortest and simplest route to confidence. By examining your values, strengths and passions, you can tap into your authentic self. When you present yourself to the world just as you are with all your extraordinary talents and character-building imperfections, confidence is not a contrivance, it is a reality. You no longer have to rehearse every conversation in your head or strategize which persona you have to pull out of the trunk that day. Living authentically means you have the benefit of waking up each day in alignment with who you are without judgment or fear. The freedom of being your true self results in a level of confidence far greater than anything you could manufacture out of pretense. Boldness The freedom that is the natural by-product of authenticity provides you with the capacity to look at yourself in a much broader light. Living each day in truth gives you a perspective on your abilities that goes beyond the limitations that have been imposed upon you by others, and even yourself. Your skills in storytelling and writing can naturally evolve into being a writer. Your ability to communicate and convey ideas could result in producing a podcast or series of motivational videos. You begin to see your natural abilities with a boldness that gives you the confidence to try new things and be more adventurous. And regardless of whether you succeed or not, you have more than enough confidence to know that you are capable of trying, doing, and being even more. Clarity Knowing who you are and discovering the endless capacity within you gives you a clarity not only about yourself, but about how you connect to the world. You are not bound by the interpretations and conclusions others develop about you. You are the author of your own narrative. You present a clear picture of yourself to everyone you meet, defining what is important to you, what motivates you, and how you choose to show up in every aspect of your life. Clarity gives you confidence because you understand your own character and cannot be caused to waiver in self-doubt in the face of conflict. You are able to stay on course for your own journey, moving past the distractions of everyday life while also being able to reflect and adjust to ensure that you stay in alignment with your values and goals. Whether you follow a set path or stray from it, you remain confident in your decisions because they remain rooted in the clear vision you have of yourself. Confidence from the inside out Living with confidence is more than just an inspirational concept. In reality, confidence comes from the acceptance of ourselves, the perspective to see beyond our perceived limitations, and being clear on exactly how we engage with everyone and everything in our lives. Confidence is part of the natural state of being when we live in alignment with our true selves.
You're Already a Leader: Learning to See Your Impact on the World
“I’m not really a leader.” Not surprisingly, that is a statement I hear quite a bit as a leadership coach. Many people are so caught up in the day-to-day, the have-to’s, that they completely lose sight of the impact they have on the lives of those around them. “Well, that’s just what I do.” This is probably the statement I hear almost as much as “I’m not really a leader.” Whether it’s taking care of a 3-year old toddler or a $30 million-dollar business with a hundred employees (or both simultaneously), people begin to see the work they do as normal. They no longer see the extraordinary ideas, effort, and results that are borne of what they see as small, insignificant tasks. You're Already a Leader: Learning to See Your Impact on the World If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader. -- John Quincy Adams Perhaps you are reading this and seeing yourself in these two statements. You are starting to think about the “little things” you do every day and how they impact yourself, others, and the achievement of much broader goals. You are beginning to realize not only how your actions impact others, but that what and how you do those things are unique and special to you. This is your moment of leadership awareness. See your goals Many people have goals they can rattle off without much difficulty: a successful career or business. A happy family. Fulfilling relationships. All of these are wonderful and admirable goals. Yet how much do we truly see our goals? By “seeing" our goals, I mean seeing them for what they really mean to you. What do your goals ultimately say about what you want for your life and the lives of those around you? Goals are not just finish lines off in the distance that you're trying to reach. They are a reflection of who you are, what is important to you, and what you are working towards becoming in the future. Your goals are you. It may not seem like it, but when you sit down and list out all your goals and aspirations, take a moment to see them not as tasks and to-do’s, but instead as a reflection of yourself. READ: Finding Your Why: How to Discover Your Professional Purpose Leadership is the ability to motivate and inspire others to strive towards a common goal. By understanding how the goals you have for your career, your business, your family, or your life reflect who you are, you begin to understand your own motivations for reaching those goals. When you know your own motivations, your purpose, you can better understand how to connect to and inspire others, even if what inspires them is different from you. Identify your influence on others Influence can be powerful, whether it is wielded like a sword or whispered like a prayer. Influence doesn’t come to us through a fancy title or a big bank account. We all know people who have one or the other yet who inspire little confidence from those around them. Influence can be earned by your skill and ability to produce results. Influence can also flow from your own authentic passion and commitment. Maybe you don’t have the background and pedigree, but others are inspired by something intangible within you that speaks to their own goals and desires, or to their personal feelings towards you. Think about the influence you have in various parts of your life, and identify what it is that draws others to you. Who do you influence and why do they follow your lead? Leadership requires understanding where your influence comes from and making sure you use it in a way that is aligned with your authentic self and the goals you want to achieve. When your influence is corrupted by things that are detrimental to your goals, or even more importantly, to the people who trust and believe in you, that influence fades quickly. Whatever the source, influence is never taken. It is given, and can be rescinded when abused. Conscious leadership Raising your leadership awareness can be an uncomfortable process. Most of us are not taught to sit back and think to themselves, “Why am I so awesome?” We’re taught that humility and hard work are what yield benefits in our lives and careers. We may say things like “Oh, I didn’t really do much” or “Anyone could have done it.” Yet to truly be a leader, we must begin to tap into the parts of ourselves that are unique and dynamic. We must consciously embrace that there are special traits within us that are so powerful that they inspire others not only to believe in us, but to take incredible actions that defy their own self-perceived limitations and bring us closer to achieving shared goals. You are already a leader. Now is the time to recognize your leadership abilities and consciously utilize them to make a difference.