Why Kanye West's Admission That He Was Wrong In His Marriage Is More Important Than We Think

There aren’t enough adjectives in the dictionary to accurately describe the impact Kanye West has had on pop culture. 

A visionary artist, a dauntless provocateur, the possible future Mr. President — he’s run the gamut of heated controversies over the last two decades. As of late, his separation with influencer Kim Kardashian has been grabbing all the headlines, and for a good reason, too. From the very beginning, their relationship has been subject to widespread media interest and ridicule. Of course, they were both eminent media personalities before coming together, but as a power couple, they exploded into the public consciousness like no one before them. 

Naturally, news of their divorce hit the world like a truck. The signs had been there, but never did any of us believe they would go through with the split. It’s never one factor that leads to a couple calling quits, and both Kim and Kanye have been forthcoming about what went wrong. This doesn’t stop the media from depicting Kanye as the aggressor, the villain in the dilemma who likely triggered the separation. 

While we can’t absolve Kanye of his misjudgment or mistakes, we can praise him for owning up to them. Here’s what it says about his growth:

Kanye opens up about what went wrong in his marriage with Kim

During a visit to Skid Row in Los Angeles, Kanye West elaborated on the circumstances surrounding the divorce and his hopes for a future with Kim. “In all these relationships, we’ve made mistakes. I’ve made mistakes,” he said right off the bat. He is under no illusion about the role he’s played personally in driving her away. 

Kim had opened up earlier this year about the sacrifices she’s made in the name of preserving their marriage. However, there comes a time in everyone’s life where they realize that they’re just utterly lonely and dissatisfied with the status quo. With Kim, she was growing increasingly exasperated and “lonely” with Kanye moving “from state to state” every month. His erratic behavior and rash decision-making had a limit, and she wanted to be with someone who understood her and wanted to spend time with her, someone she shared meaningful commonalities with. “I want someone that we have the same shows in common. I want someone who wants to work out with me,” she told her mother, Kris Jenner, on KUTWK. 

Kanye does realize the error of his ways and is keen on changing the narrative. “I’ve publicly done things that were not acceptable as a husband,” he said in his speech. He had become so caught up in his whims that he disregarded what Kim wanted from him and their partnership.

In all these relationships, we’ve made mistakes. I’ve made mistakes. I’ve publicly done things that were not acceptable as a husband.

Kanye West via US Weekly

In a video on his Instagram titled ‘Thanksgiving Prayer,’ the rapper, who recently changed his name to Ye, dove deep into some of his exact choices that alienated Kim and essentially shattered their relationship. “Good lord, my wife did not like me wearing the red hat,” discussing his public support for controversial former U.S. President Donald Trump. “I made me and our family a target by not aligning with Hollywood’s political stance, and that was hard for our marriage,” he shared. 

He also touches upon his failed presidential campaign, which he said he launched “without proper preparation and no allies on either side.” The toll it took on Kim was irreparable; she had to stand by her husband and smile for the rest of the world, even though nothing about the initiative made sense. They were already in the spotlight, yes, but the way Kanye deliberately offered sensitive information about their family just to gain traction in the race was problematic. Case in point: in one press conference, Kanye divulged how she and Kim considered abortion when they were pregnant with their first child. The reveal “embarrassed” Kim immensely and contributed to their marital discord. 

He also takes full “accountability” for his actions and swears to reunite with Kim

What must be noted is that he hasn’t always been so regretful or candid; in the aftermath of his breakup with Amber Rose, for example, he spent years slamming the model and badmouthing her in his music and went so far as to call her a “stripper” who trapped Wiz Khalifa.  Not to mention the crude ways he’s described many of his ex-lovers and fellow rappers in his charged lyrics. The man has often been characterized as a walking red flag, someone so aggressive and blunt you should know better than to ruffle his feathers. 

Kanye’s fumbles shouldn’t be excused by any means, but credit where credit is due: he acknowledged his wrongdoing in this case and did seem to understand that his actions, many of which were quite ill-advised and dangerous, seem to carry severe consequences. You need to be able to identify your offenses before you can take the rightful measures to mitigate them. So often, the media is so eager to paint Kanye as the unstable, narcissistic figure who doesn’t think rationally and is driven by his impulses, not letting anything or anyone get in his way. But times like these demonstrate he’s capable of genuine accountability and transparency and is willing to do what’s necessary to make amends. 

All I think about every day is how I get my family back together and how I heal the pain that I’ve caused. I take accountability for my actions. New word alert: Misactions. 

Kanye West on Instagram

He’s always been honest about his ego, referring to it as his “Achilles heels.” Therefore, to put aside his ego and to accept his role in the dissolution of his marriage with Kim is nothing short of remarkable. He is aware of his tendency to cross the threshold of being “motivating and entertaining”  to straight-up “overwhelming.” He understands there are ways of being confident without being “arrogant.” And though the road to redemption is long and excruciating, he should be applauded for taking the first step. 

However, just because Kanye has owned up to some of his issues doesn’t mean Kim should in any way be pressured to reconcile with him. Ye does seem to think a romantic reunion is in the cards, though it’s unclear at this point if he is being hopeful or delusional; or if it is something Kim herself has indicated to him privately. What matters is that he’s putting in the effort and looking forward to a brighter future. 

Acknowledging your mistakes is the first and most important step

Everyone in the world is regretful about a time in their life, a moment where they let themself and someone else down; where they knew what was right or wrong, and still chose the latter. We can’t reverse time, but there is still a way for us to deal with the weight of bad decision-making. 

Acknowledgment of your oversight, however small or large it may be, is the first step to earning forgiveness. At the very least, it’s the first step to ridding yourself of the guilt and remorse that’s keeping you awake at night. If you can’t tell the truth to yourself, how in the world are you going to convince someone else? Once you’re fully cognizant of what you’ve done wrong and how it’s hurt people, you will know exactly how you can right those wrongs and dissolve the pain just a little bit.