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Ikigai: The Japanese Philosophy for Purposeful Living

People often say that finding purpose is the foundation of a healthy and more fulfilling life. Yet for millions of people, purpose feels elusive, like some far-off destination, an epiphany waiting for divine intervention.Narratives around living the life of your dreams can package purpose in a very set way, telling stories of a select few who were lucky enough to find their purpose, and never looked back.All of these assumptions about purpose make it both intimidating and seemingly unattainable. Factor in cultural ideas of what purpose looks like — from starting a billion-dollar venture in Silicon Valley to living a life in service of the greater good — and you’ll likely be left feeling frustrated, or confused, about how to add purpose to your life.Fortunately, these assumptions are misleading. Purpose is much easier to attain than it seems on the surface. And, thankfully, the Japanese concept of ikigai makes discovering your purpose practical. There’s no need to wait for a eureka moment, or yearn for the day purpose will arrive on your doorstep. With ikigai as your own personal Japanese secret, you can start taking deliberate steps to add purpose to your days and inhabit a more happy life. This article will show you how you can start your own personal ikigai journey. Let’s get started!What is the Japanese concept of Ikigai?The best translation for ikigai (pronounced “ee key guy”) is “a reason for being.” The term is formed from the Japanese words iki (life) and gai (worth or benefit).Ikigai is central to Japanese culture, with its origin stretching all the way back to the Heian period, a period of classical Japanese history lasting between the years 794 and 1185.American researcher Dan Buettner, who presented the popular Ted Talk How to Live to 100, identified ikigai as one of the main factors for greater longevity in Japan. Buettner popularized the concept in the West in the early 2000s.Long before then, Japanese psychiatrist Mieko Kamiya, the Mother of Ikigai, wrote one of the most popular modern-day books on the philosophy, Ikigai-ni-Tsuite (What Makes Our Life Worth Living), in 1966. This was around the time early positive psychology was born. Psychologists such as Abraham Maslow, Carl Rogers, and Viktor Frankl shifted the paradigm of psychology away from pathology, and towards what makes for a fulfilling, meaningful life.(Getty)Moving towards a more meaningful lifeKamiya herself compared ikigai to Frankl’s approach to meaning. Both were well-versed in how suffering could lead to personal growth. Frankl from his time spent in concentration camps during the Holocaust, and Kamiya worked with leprosy patients. Kamiya described ikigai as:“Ikigai means ‘power necessary for one to live in this world, happiness to be alive, benefit, effectiveness.’ When we try to translate it into English, German, French etc, it seems that there is no other way to define it other than ‘worth living’ or ‘value or meaning to live’. Thus, compared to philosophical theoretical concepts, the word ikigai shows us how ambiguous the Japanese language is, but because of this it has an effect of reverberation and amplitude.”She acknowledged that “the fact that this word exists should indicate that the goal to live, its meaning and value within the daily life of the Japanese soul has been problematized.” In other words, the word exists because modern-living, to some degree, has disconnected people from their innate sense of purpose, or their soul’s calling.Kamiya further defines ikigai into two categories — the source of ikigai, and the state of mind someone feels when connected to the source (ikigai-kan). For Kamiya, ikigai-kan is linked to Frankl’s concept of meaning. In life, a person’s mission is to connect to their mission. Failure to do so can result in depression or anxiety.In order to become clear on this mission, Kamiya suggested two questions:What is my existence for?What is the purpose of my existence?Gaining ClarityOnce clarity is gained, ikigai becomes the North Star that you are guided to. The journey itself is what’s important, not the final destination. Those who are moving towards that North Star experience a sense of fulfillment, ikigai-kan.Kamiya was careful to note those pursuing their purpose weren’t always distinguished people — someone can be in service to ikigai when raising children, teaching at schools, or working in medicine. What’s most important is that a person is able to connect to their purpose, and honor it, in whichever way is unique to them.For Kamiya, the process of clarifying and honoring their soul’s calling is the discovery of a new theme of existence. For many people, this process could unfold during a spiritual awakening, where their motivations radically transform. For others, it could be a slight, but noticeable change of direction.Ikigai and Maslow’s hierarchy of needsIn addition to parallels between Frankl’s work on the value of meaning, Kamiya also discovered that to experience ikigai-kan, someone must first have several personal needs met. The result is a similar model of thinking to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, which outlines the journey of growth and self-actualization.The needs Kamiya identified are:The need for life satisfactionThe need for change and growthThe need for a bright futureThe need for resonanceThe need for freedomThe need for self-actualizationThe need for meaning and valueThese closely resemble Maslow’s pyramid of physiological needs, safety needs, love and belonging, esteem, self-actualization, and self-transcendence (the often forgotten additional layer). It’s worth keeping in mind, though, that Maslow noted for some, lower levels can be transcended by higher values, such as creativity being more important than safety needs or esteem.The same can be said of ikigai — if your mission or purpose is something greater than you, it’s likely that it can overshadow other personal needs and contribute to well being.Why is Ikigai important for a fulfilling life?As Buettner discovered, meaning is one of the most influential factors in living a long and healthy life, both for younger generations and those that are older. Buettner has researched so-called Blue Zones, the locations where people lived for longer and enjoyed greater wellbeing.Five locations Buettner discovered were Okinawa, Japan; Sardinia, Italy; Nicoya, Costa Rica; Ikaria, Greece, and Loma Linda, California. He noticed that these five locations placed a lot of emphasis on meaning and purpose.This has been backed up by multiple studies. A 2014 UCL-led study of 9,000 people with an average age of 65 found that those with a greater sense of meaning and purpose were 30 percent less likely to die in the following eight-year period. More recently in 2019, a study of 7,000 people over the age of 50 found “life purpose was significantly associated with all-cause mortality.” So much so, the lowest scorers of the study were twice as likely to have died than those with the highest scores five years later.The power of ikigaiNoriyuki Nakashi, from Osaka University, explains the power of ikigai as:“Ikigai is personal: it reflects the inner self of an individual and expresses that faithfully.Ikigai, which is the highest level of desire, may be considered to be essentially the process of cultivating one’s inner potential and that which makes one's life significant, a universal human experience we all wish to achieve.”Purpose gives you a deeper reason for living, it makes your life significant. As noted by thinkers such as Kamiya and Frankl, there is an interesting component to this — it appears, deep down, each of us has a purpose that we intuitively know and understand. Our mission is to listen to that calling and do all we can to honor it, in order to cultivate our inner potential.Longevity is a byproduct of doing something right. Purpose gives you the energy and inspiration to pursue your goals, overcome struggle, and keep going when times are tough. It provides strong foundations of fulfillment and can give your life a new direction, not towards fleeting happiness, but towards things of high value. In the words of Oscar Wilde: “To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”Understanding the Ikigai chart and your own ikigai journeyAre you ready for your mind to be blown by ikigai, the Japanese secret that so many swear by? For your understanding of ikigai to take a drastic u-turn into a new theme of existence? The ikigai venn diagram, shared by millions and rising to meme-like popularity on social media, isn’t linked to ikigai. Instead, it was an idea from Marc Winn, an entrepreneur and blogger who merged the idea of ikigai with a venn diagram of purpose.Winn was introduced to the concept of ikigai and the ikigai diagram from Buettner’s Ted Talk. “I don’t know whether to laugh or cry,” he wrote in 2017, “less than an hour of my time has made more of a difference in the world than all my time put together.”Winn acknowledges his own surprise that his idea, and the diagram, spiraled out of control. The diagram is shown below:While the venn diagram is incredibly useful, there’s one major downside — the true meaning of ikigai isn’t about making money. The diagram might be valuable in understanding how you can launch a career of meaning, but in many ways, it’s the result of ikigai running through the money-oriented worldview of the West.In fact, a 2010 study of 2,000 people in Japan found that only a third saw work as their ikigai. In addition, the Japanese translation of life means both your lifespan, and everyday life. This leads to another possible misinterpretation — ikigai can be discovered in the simple, day-to-day joys of living, not a grandiose plan or life mission worthy of Hollywood fame. It’s a spectrum of joy, from the seemingly mundane to the miraculous, and everything between.The five pillars of ikigaiSo if the ikigai isn’t discovered through a venn diagram, how do you apply the concept to your life? In The Little Book of Ikigai, Japanese neuroscientist and author Ken Mogi offers a five-pillar framework. By following this framework, you’re able to cultivate the type of lifestyle that allows for the emergence of ikigai:Pillar One: Start SmallDiscovering a new theme of existence begins with small steps. That could be as simple as making the inner commitment to start creating a life of enhanced purpose.What changes could you make, today, to start that process? Is there a passion, or calling, that you sense on the periphery of your awareness? What could you do in order to start honoring that? Remember, purpose doesn’t have to be elaborate or grand.Applying Kamiya’s work, you could journal and answer the two questions: what is my existence for? What is the purpose of my existence? Don’t think about it too much, just see what surfaces.Additionally, consider what things in life are the source of ikigai, or when are the moments when you feel ikigai-kan. For me, writing is the source of both. Although now established as a writer, in the beginning, it started with a commitment to write a little every day.Pillar Two: Releasing YourselfThis pillar demonstrates how deep the philosophy of ikigai is, and its entanglement with other Eastern philosophies that have stood the test of time, such as Buddhism. (Getty)Releasing yourself means to let go of all the things in life you hold onto, that cause some form of suffering.It’s similar to the Buddhist practices of non-attachment. Are you attached to your self-image, what other people think of you, or always thinking about a time you’ll finally be happy?Releasing yourself requires accepting where you’re at, who you are, and the moment in front of you. It leads to a state of peaceful surrender, going with the flow, rather than grappling with life.Ikigai is, after all, a practice of aligning with nature. “The greatest secret of the ikigai, ultimately, has to be the acceptance of oneself, no matter what kind of unique features one might happen to be born with,” Mogi writes.Pillar Three: Harmony and SustainabilityThis step is connected to your environment. Ikigai incorporates the people in our lives, our immediate community, the quality and sustainability of all living things we interact with.As Mogi says, “A man is like a forest; individual and yet connected and dependent on others for growth.” Harmony and sustainability are both inner and outer experiences, reflected in your emotions, your thoughts, the way you interact with the world, the way you go about your work.(Getty)Consider any area of life where there is disharmony. Perhaps you have a few relationships that cause friction, or you are pushing yourself to extremes, unable to sustain that approach to hustle culture for the long term. In what ways can you invite a more peaceful approach? How can you be the source of harmony, for yourself, and for the wider world around you?That doesn’t have to mean being half-hearted in what you do, quite the opposite, as ikigai encourages commitment and passion in equal measure. But make sure not to fall into traps of seriousness, and keep an explorative, playful attitude to yourself, your relationships, your community, and your work.Pillar Four: The Joy of Little ThingsIkigai is a comprehensive philosophy, as well as being an antidote to a lot of modern approaches to finding happiness through constant striving, or the craving for success or recognition.Deeply embedded in the Japanese concept is finding joy in little things. Your morning coffee. A smile from a stranger. An unexpected spell of sunshine. A message from a friend you’ve not spoken to in a while. A delicious sip of energizing green tea. All of these are opportunities to enjoy small sparks of joy, sparks that pave the way for a life in honor of ikigai.(Getty)As Kamiya notes, those dedicated to ikigai spend all their days in fulfillment. Yes, there might be a challenging process of realizing your calling, and adjusting your life to make sure you have supreme focus on fulfilling your potential. But ikigai isn’t about the end destination, it’s about smelling the flowers on the way.The easiest way to do this is to look for gratitude in your life. What things bring you a sense of comfort? What in your life would you have never predicted or thought you’d be able to achieve? What have you overcome? Who adds laughter or who supports you? All of these reflections of gratitude support the feeling of ikigai-kan.Pillar Five: Being in the Here and NowTo reaffirm the intention of ikigai, and its link to mindfulness, the final pillar reminds us to be present. To pause. To become fully aware of what’s directly in front of us. To take things one step at a time, and notice when our minds get caught in the past, or jump ahead to the future. The more present you become, the richer life is, the more nourishing each moment, and the less fearful you become about uncertain futures.The irony of trying to find happiness is that it keeps us always looking ahead, waiting for a moment to come. But as many Eastern philosophies have taught, that is an illusion. Only the present ever exists. And the more you’re able to truly arrive in the present moment, the more likely you will be to experience deeper fulfillment.Ikigai is a philosophy that reminds us that, with a brief pause, a moment of gratitude for the small things, acceptance for who we are and where we’re at. Then you might end up finding purpose where you never expected it — right in front of you.Right here, right now. If you have any unanswered questions click here, and good luck on your journey!

Use The Three Ws of Goal Setting To Set Meaningful Goals
Mindset

Use The Three Ws of Goal Setting To Set Meaningful Goals

Greek philosopher Aristotle is known for once saying: “Educating the mind without educating the heart is no education at all.” As a key thinker in the emergence of Western philosophy, Aristotle understood the importance of balancing knowledge and wisdom. Feeding the intellect alone isn’t enough — you have to also feed the heart and soul, and live your life aligned with values.RELATED: SMART Goals: A Complete Guide To Achieving Your DreamsGoal setting operates in much the same way. If you only use your mind, set logical goals, or limit what’s possible to what’s rational or reasonable, your vision will lose its zest. Life-changing goals, the type of goals that lead you into new horizons, need to be connected to the heart, as well as the mind.Enter the Three Ws of Goal Setting. This model, although seemingly straightforward, often goes overlooked. By asking yourself these three important questions, you’ll begin to set goals that are most aligned with your highest potential. Not only that, but you’ll grow throughout the entire process. So what are these three questions?The First W of Goal Setting: Why?In Man’s Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl shares a famous quote from Friedrich Nietzsche: “Those who have a 'why' to live, can bear with almost any 'how'.” Frankl, who survived time spent in concentration camps during the holocaust, before establishing his own form of psychotherapy, applied Nietzsche’s wisdom to his experiences. The people most likely to keep going, and survive against all odds, had a powerful why.Each of us has an inherent hierarchy of whys. They might not always be immediately clear, but exist in the back of your mind, influencing the decisions you make. By making your whys clear, you’ll better focus on your goals. Your why can be all-encompassing, like the North Star of your life, or specific to a certain area.For example, let’s say you want to become a published author. One of your whys might be because you’re technically skilled at writing (the logical element). But dig a little deeper, and you might discover that you’re driven to use the power of your words to change minds, or offer fresh perspectives on life. Your why is to inspire others, or to offer support, through the written word.Your why is usually a powerful vision, something that is the result of achieving your goal, beyond the goal itself. For example, if you have fitness goals, your why may be the vision of playing with your children, or grandchildren, into old age. Making sacrifices to look after your health then becomes more bearable. The why is always the heart of your goal — start there.The Second W of Goal Setting: What?The why is the heart, the what is the mind. This is the way you plan and envision what exactly it is you’d like to achieve, in practical terms. Becoming an author requires a lot of hard work and preparation. You’ll need to research, refine your ideas over time, and develop the technical skills to capture those ideas in a captivating way. With your health, you’ll have to improve your diet, exercise, and reduce stress.Identifying your what is where the SMART Goals template comes in. Make sure your what is specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound. Be as logical and practical as you like at this stage — but be aware of any limiting beliefs that surface. It’s common for goals aligned with your heart to sometimes feel unattainable, something you’re unworthy of. Know you deserve to experience this goal, to live out your vision. The Third W of Goal Setting: Who?Where the Three Ws of Goal Setting offer something different to other conventional models is in the third consideration: who will you need to become in order to achieve your goal? This is deliberately explorative. Allow it to lead you into creative spaces. This’ll show you the ways you have to develop and grow, as you move closer and closer to your goal. It shows you how the combination of following your heart, and planning with your mind, will lead to greater focus and discipline.RELATED: What Are Values? How To Discover Yours And Build A Life Of PurposeThe who of your goals is aligned to the growth mindset. Rather than placing all of the emphasis on achieving your goal, it encourages you to explore your values, and the lessons you’ll learn in pursuit of your goals. The outcome then becomes less important than the dedication and resilience you demonstrate along the way.Better still, considering who you’ll need to be makes your goals purposeful and supportive of your development. On paper, goals appear straightforward and practical. Goals might be written on paper, but they’re achieved in the big wide world. You’ll have to inspire yourself to become resilient, someone who acts with integrity and doesn’t give up at various hurdles.Taking our above examples, to become an author you’ll have to become someone with high levels of self-discipline, to sit down and write every day. You’ll have to develop a positive relationship with rejection or criticism, developing the self-compassion to keep going. You’ll need to learn how to ask for help, or develop the confidence to build a network, find an agent, or believe in your idea enough to pursue it at all costs.ConclusionYou’ll know the cliche “it’s not the journey, but what you learn along the way.” Never is this more true than when setting goals. Admittedly, our culture is hyper-focused on outcome, down to the foundations of capitalism, where anything from healthcare to works of art live and die by profit margins and returns on investment. But life’s most meaningful events aren’t outcomes, but processes.Setting relevant goals, aligned to your values, is a big process. Goals aren’t the be-all and end-all. But the Three Ws of Goal Setting will refine those goals, whilst keeping you focused on personal growth. Success or failure, win or lose, won’t be as relevant as the person you become along the way, maturing in heart, mind, and soul.KEEP READING Understand Projection Bias to Develop More Accurate Goals

9 Logical Fallacies That You Need to Know To Master Critical Thinking
Mindset

9 Logical Fallacies That You Need to Know To Master Critical Thinking

William James, who was known as the grandfather of psychology, once said: “A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.” All of us think, every day. But there’s a difference between thinking for thinking’s sake, and thinking in a critical way. Deliberate, controlled, and reasonable thinking is rare.There are multiple factors that are impairing people’s ability to think critically, from technology to changes in education. Some experts have speculated we’re approaching a crisis of critical thinking, with many students graduating “without the ability to construct a cohesive argument or identify a logical fallacy.”RELATED: How to Tell if ‘Political Correctness’ Is Hurting Your Mental HealthThat's a worrying trend, as critical thinking isn’t only an academic skill, but essential to living a high-functioning life. It’s the process by which to arrive at logical conclusions. And in through that process, logical fallacies are a significant hazard. This article will explore logical fallacies in order to equip you with the knowledge on how to think in skillful ways, for the biggest benefits. As a result, you'll be able to detect deception of flawed logic, in others, and yourself. And you'll be equipped to think proper thoughts, rather than simply rearrange prejudices.What Is a Logical Fallacy?The study of logic originates back to the Greek philosopher Aristotle (384–322 b.c.e), who started to systematically identify and list logical fallacies. The origin of logic is linked to the Greek logos, which translates to language, reason, or discourse. Logical fallacies are errors of reason that invalidate an argument. The use of logical fallacies changes depending on a person’s intention. Although for many, they’re unintentional, others may deliberately use logical fallacies as a type of manipulative behavior.Detecting logical fallacies is crucial to improve your level of critical thinking, to avoid deceit, and to spot poor reasoning; within yourself and others. The influential German philosopher Immanuel Kant once said; “All our knowledge begins with the senses, proceeds then to the understanding, and ends with reason. There is nothing higher than reason.”RELATED: Fundamental Attribution Error: Definition & ExamplesThroughout history, the world’s greatest thinkers have promoted the value of reasoning. Away from academia, reason is the ability to logically process information, and arrive at an accurate conclusion, in the quest for truth. Striving to be more reasonable or calm under pressure is a virtuous act. It’s a noble pursuit, one which in its nature will inspire your personal development, and allow you to become the best version of yourself.Why Critical Thinking Is ImportantIt seems like humanity has never been so polarized, separated into different camps and stances; Democrats vs. Liberals, vegans vs. meat eaters, vaccinated vs. unvaccinated, pro-life vs. pro-choice. There’s nothing inherently wrong with thinking critically, and taking a stand. However, what is unusual is the tendency for people to lean into one extreme or the other, neglecting to explore gray areas or complexity.Many of the positions people take are chosen for them. It takes a lot of effort to research a point of view. And even then, we’re faced with the challenge of information overload, fake news, conspiracy, and even credible news which is dismissed as conspiracy. Far from academic debates or politicians facing off during leadership races, the ability to share respectful dialogue is an essential part of understanding our place in the world, and maintaining human relationships.The hot topics facing humanity aren’t going to be resolved by reactivity or over-emotionality. There should be room for all sorts of emotions to surface; it’s understandable to feel anger, grief, anxiety, etc, faced with global events. But critical thinking asks for a more reasoned, calm consideration, not getting completely carried away with emotions, but appealing to higher judgment.Examples of When to Use Critical ThinkingIt’s not always clear why critical thinking is so valuable. Isn’t it only useful for education, philosophy, science, or politics? Not quite. When applied appropriately, logic has a universal appeal in life. Examples include:Problem-solving: “The problem is not that there are problems,” wrote psychiatrist Theodore Isaac Rubin, “the problem is expecting otherwise, and thinking that having problems is a problem.” Life is full of problems. Fortunately, that means life is full of opportunities to problem solve. Critical thinking is an essential problem-solving skill, from managing your time to organizing your finances.Making optimal decisions: the more logical you are, and the less you fall into logical fallacies, the better your decision-making becomes. Decisions are the steps towards your goals, each decision making you closer to, or away from, what you really desire.Understanding complex subjects: with attention spans reducing due to social media and technology, it’s becoming rare to take time to attempt to understand complex topics, away from repeating what others have said. Whether through self-study or to comprehend global events, critical thinking is essential to understand complexity.Improving relationships: adding a dose of logic to your interactions will allow you to make better choices in relationships. Many “messy” forms of communication, from guilt-tripping to passive aggression, are illogical. By tapping into a more balanced point of view, you’ll better overcome conflict, argue your point (when necessary), or explain the way you feel.The Most Common Logical FallaciesWhen you begin to explore logical fallacies, language becomes a game. There’s a sense of having a cheat sheet in communication, understanding the underlying dynamics at play. Of course, it’s not as straightforward as a mechanical understanding — emotional intelligence, and non-verbal body language has a role to play, too. We’re humans, not computers. But gaining mastery of logic puts you ahead of the majority of people, and helps you avoid cognitive bias.What’s more, most people fall into logical fallacies without being aware. Once you can detect these mechanisms, within yourself and with others, you’ll have an upper hand in many key areas of life, not least in a professional setting, or in any place you need to persuade or argue a point. The list is ever-growing and vast, but below are the most common logical fallacies to get the ball rolling:1. Ad HominemOriginating from a Latin phrase meaning “to the person,” ad hominem is an attack on the person, not the argument. This has a twofold impact — it deflects attention away from the validity of the argument, and second, it can provoke the person to enter a defensive mindset. If you’re aware of this fallacy, it can keep you from taking the bait, and instead keeping the focus on the argument.Perhaps the most popular example of this in recent times is the viral interview between Jordan Peterson and Cathy Newman. Love him or hate him, Peterson is an embodiment of logic, sidestepping Newman’s ad hominem attacks and fallacies in a calm and controlled manner. 2. Red HerringYou might have heard of this phrase in the context of fiction: a red herring is an irrelevant piece of information thrown into the mix, in order to distract from other relevant details, commonly used in detective stories. In a political context, you might see a politician respond to criticism by talking about something positive they’ve done. For example, when asked why unemployment is so high, they may say “we’ve made a lot of effort to improve working conditions in certain areas.”A popular type of red herring in modern discourse is "what aboutism," a form of counter-accusation. If the person mentioning unemployment is a fellow politician, the same politician may say: “what about unemployment rates when your party was in charge?”3. Tu Quoque FallacyClosely related to the above, and in some ways, a mixture of the ad hominem and a red herring, is the tu quoque fallacy (pronounced tu-KWO-kway and originating from the Latin “you too”). This is a counter-accusation that accuses someone of hypocrisy. Rather than acknowledging what's been said, someone responds with a direct allegation. For example, if you’re in an argument and your partner raises their voice, you may bring that to their attention, only for them to say: “you raise your voice all the time!”.4. Straw ManThe straw man logical fallacy is everywhere, especially in dialogue on hot-topic issues, because it's effective in shutting down someone else’s perspective. The person runs with someone’s point, exaggerates it, then attacks the exaggerated version — the straw man — seemingly in an appropriate way. For example, when your partner asks if you could do the washing up, you might respond: “are you saying I don’t support you around the house? That’s unfair.”On the global stage, one of the big straw man arguments in recent times is the rhetoric of the anti-vaxxer, applied to resistance to mandated vaccines, social distancing, or lockdowns. The simplified term is a way of positioning someone as extreme, even if raising valid points, or looking to open dialogue about the repercussions of certain political choices, made without the option for the population to have their say.5. Appeal to AuthorityIf someone in a position of authority says something is true, it must be true. This type of logical fallacy is ingrained in the psyche in childhood, where your parents' (or adults around you) word was final. Society is moving increasingly in this direction, especially in the fields of science. But that doesn’t come without risk, as even experts are known not to get things right. In addition, many positions of authority aren’t always acting in pursuit of honesty or truth, if other factors (such as financial donations) have influence. While appeals to authority used to gravitate around religious leaders, a 2022 study found that, when linked with scientists, untrue statements are more likely to be believed, in what researchers call the Einstein effect.6. False DichotomyAlso known as the false dilemma, this logical fallacy presents limited options in certain scenarios in a way that is inaccurate. It’s closely linked to black-or-white thinking or all-or-nothing thinking, presenting two extremes without options in between. This is perhaps one of the most invasive logical fallacies in navigating life’s demands. For example, you either go to the gym or become unhealthy.These limitations require a dose of psychological flexibility and creative thinking to overcome. They require exploring other alternatives. In the example above, that would mean looking at other ways to become healthy and exercise, such as running outdoors or going swimming.7. Slippery Slope FallacySimilar to the straw man fallacy, the slippery slope is a way of taking an issue to a hypothetical extreme and then dismissing it based on what could happen. The potential of one thing leading to another, and the repercussions of that chain of events, may cause the original issue to be overlooked. For example, if you fail to set a boundary in one situation, you’ll forever be stuck in accepting certain behaviors.The issue with this fallacy is that a valid process of critical thinking is to look at what decisions can lead to in the future. Rather than dismiss outright, however, it pays to make reasoned decisions, avoid jumping to conclusions, and see how things unfold over time.8. Sunk Cost FallacyThis is the logical fallacy that, when having already invested in something, you continue to invest in order to get return on your sunk costs. Although using gambling terminology (such as chasing losses on roulette) the sunk cost can apply to any area of life. The investment itself doesn’t have to be financial. For example, investing lots of time and energy into a creative project, or a relationship.The sunk cost fallacy causes people to overlook a true and accurate analysis of the situation in the present moment, instead choosing to continue because of past decisions.9. Hasty GeneralisationAlso known as an over-generalization or faulty generalization, this logical fallacy makes general claims based on little evidence. Before writing this article, I went to a new gym, where my toiletry bag was stolen. You could argue it’s bad luck for something like that to happen on your first visit. If I decide that the gym isn’t safe, and make a hasty generalization, I may end up not going again. But what if the rate of theft in this gym was below the average in the city, and I was just unlucky? What if it wasn’t stolen, but someone absent-mindedly put it in their bag?The opposite of a hasty generalization is to find the appropriate context for events. A logical conclusion, on the other hand, takes time. It’s reasonable, doesn’t jump in, and collects as much data as possible. If I go to the same gym, and something else is stolen, and I then see in Google reviews that others have had the same, it’d be logical for me to conclude there’s a high rate of theft.How to Detect and Overcome Logical FallaciesBoth logic and critical thinking can be improved with practice. The knowledge of the nature of logical fallacies, and the above examples, will get you started. Deciphering when certain fallacies are active in real time is part of applied learning. Be conscious of applying the same level of rigor to your own level of reason as you do others.There are a few components to detect and overcome logical fallacies. The first is self-awareness. As mentioned above, we’re humans, not machines. In situations where the stakes are high, we’re usually driven by factors other than logic, ulterior motives, or strong emotions that run the show. How often, when angry or triggered, do you say or act in ways you later regret?Emotional regulation is useful in being calm enough to engage in critical thinking. But at times, logic isn’t the most skillful. For example, in conflict with a loved one, it’s more important to attempt to have compassion and understanding than to be the “most logical.” Sometimes, there are factors outside of reason that influence us, matters of the heart that can’t be captured, defined, or deconstructed by the mind.Knowing how to apply logic, and when, is a vital skill. Through practice, over time, you’ll cultivate an even greater virtue — wisdom. A precious commodity in short supply, if you’re able to achieve wisdom and reason, the world is your oyster, a positive slippery slope to supercharge your growth.KEEP READING What is Cognitive Bias? How To Wave Goodbye To Mental Distortions

Dark Triad vs. Light Triad: How To Know You're 'A Good Person' (And What to Do If You're Not)
Mindset

Dark Triad vs. Light Triad: How To Know You're 'A Good Person' (And What to Do If You're Not)

Whenever there’s talk of light vs. dark, I can’t help but think of Star Wars, and the Jedi-Sith war. George Lucas’ expansive fictional universe is a prime example of good versus evil, a gold standard of storytelling. But it’s also an insight into human nature and depth psychology. Everyone, to some extent, has the capacity to lean towards the light or the dark, just like Luke Skywalker. Our power lies in our willingness to choose to be better.RELATED: What is Shadow Work And What Is The Benefit of It?In psychology, the study of personality shows that people fit certain characteristics. The reasons for this are highly complex, a mixture of nature and nurture, genetics, and environmental and social factors. But one thing is clear — people do have ingrained traits. And, just like Star Wars, psychologists have identified two opposing forces when it comes to “goodness” — the dark triad vs. the light triad.What Is A Personality Type?Chances are you’re familiar with personality types to some degree. Many people have completed online quizzes to find out what their “type” is. The origin of personality types dates back to Carl Jung, who attempted to reconcile theories from Sigmund Freud and Alfred Adler. As a man who was committed to seeing beyond limitations, Jung attempted to map the human psyche as broadly as possible. In Psychological Types, he writes:“To be quite accurate, human nature is simply what it is; it has its dark and its light sides. The sum of all colours is grey - light on a dark background or dark on light.”The Myers-Briggs test is one of the most common models, which consists of 16 personality types. Developed by Isabel Briggs Myers and her mother Katharine Briggs, the framework builds upon Jung’s early work, offering insight into what their personality type is. This can support people in relationships, work, and various areas of life.Are Personalities Fixed?Personality research is a branch of trait theory (or dispositional theory), within which Myers-Briggs and other theories exist. Traits are habitual patterns of behavior, from thoughts to emotions. It’s a common misconception, though, that personality traits are fixed. One major study from 2018 tracked the “Big Five” personality traits across a group for 50 years and discovered that many traits are malleable, and can even change drastically.What Is The Dark Triad?In 2002, Canadian psychologists Del Paulhus and Kevin Williams published a paper that took the field of psychology by storm. In exploring what makes up bad character, the pair created the Dark Triad model to explain three main “dark” personality traits — subclinical psychopathy, Machiavellianism, and narcissism. What’s interesting about this research is that it didn’t study criminals, but a broad section of the population.Examples of Dark Triad TraitsSince the dark triad became widely known, there’s been an abundance of research, all of which affirm its validity. A study in Personality and Individual Differences from 2021 looked to explore the dark triad traits in greater detail, discovering many associated traits connected to the big three, all of which are antisocial in their own way:Psychopathy is linked to low levels of empathy and high levels of impulsivity. Six domains have been identified: detachment, aggression/impulsivity, antisocial, manipulation, risky behavior, and thrill-seeking.Machiavellianism consists of tricks and deception and is highly manipulative. Its domains include four dimensions: cynicism, amorality, manipulation, and detachment.Narcissism is extreme self-centeredness. Within that term, there are introverted and extroverted forms of narcissism. It contains eight dimensions: antagonism, authority, distrustful self-reliance, agentic extraversion, indifference, superiority, acclaim-seeking, and narcissistic shame.Paulhus and Williams identified that at the core of the dark triad positively correlated to “callous manipulation” — exploiting others for personal gain. Clearly, these aren’t people you want to take lightly. Fortunately, as is true in nature, everything has its opposite, and there is a Jedi to the Sith.What Is The Light Triad?The trend in psychology seems to first look at the negative before evolving to the positive, or thriving. The likes of Sigmund Freud, who emphasized various forms of pathology, were followed by the likes of Abraham Maslow or Carl Rogers, people who led the way for positive psychology and the study of fulfillment, purpose, and goodness.In 2019, a group of researchers addressed the imbalance. “While there is a growing literature on ‘dark traits’ (i.e., socially aversive traits),” they write, “there has been a lack of integration with the burgeoning research literature on positive traits and fulfilling and growth-oriented outcomes in life.” Their paper marked a milestone in exploring the light triad personality type. They explored the full spectrum of dark and light, in one study — the gray sum of all colors Jung mentions.Led by Scott Barry Kaufman, the group created the Light Triad Scale to capture the benevolent traits of human nature. These so-called “everyday saints” are marked highly in three key traits. Unsurprisingly, these traits are linked to better outcomes in life, including happiness and fulfillment.Examples of Light Triad TraitsAlthough there is some overlap, people who ranked higher in the light triad had a direct negative correlation to the dark triad traits. The light triad consists of high levels of honesty and humility and ranked highly on the Big Five trait of agreeableness. People ranked higher on other qualities such as compassion, politeness, and enthusiasm, and lower on qualities such as withdrawal.Self-esteem also ranks higher in the light triad vs the dark triad, along with authentic living, self-awareness, relational authenticity, and unbiased processing. Following the research, the team settled on three points of the light triad:Kantianism: inspired by Immanuel Kant’s moral philosophy of treating people as an end in themselves, not to be used for something else. In other words, humans have inherent value.Humanism: this values the dignity of every individual.Faith in humanity: believing in the fundamental goodness of humanity.To follow the thread of faith in humanity, it’s crucial to note that no one person is all dark, or all light. Research has even discovered what is known as the Dark Empath, someone who has dark traits and high empathy. The lines are blurred, each of us exists on a spectrum. And as the research shows, our personalities are always changing. How do you make sense of the dark triad and light triad, then? How can it be used for growth or inspiration?Your Personality Isn’t Fixed — And That’s a Good ThingResearch in psychology is beginning to align with certain spiritual concepts. In particular the Buddhist concept of no self, explaining how there is no rigid, fixed personality. Studies show how many traits are malleable. Practices such as mindfulness and meditation have been shown to alter people’s personalities — one qualitative study found that people who meditate increased their levels of openness and receptivity and ranked lower in neuroticism.RELATED: Compassion Fatigue: What is it?Many other theories of personality point to this, too. We are not the victims of the past or imprisoned by our upbringing or genetics, but always have the autonomy to make the choice to change. Perhaps the contrast between dark triad and light triad can act as an inspiration and a warning, a way to identify darker traits and work towards cultivating more compassionate qualities.Carl Jung, whose work on personality type has been hugely influential in the field, was cautious to warn people of their shadow. Just like Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader, there is a seed of dark and light within everyone, and it’s up to us how we choose to nurture it. Part of Luke’s hero’s journey is overcoming the temptation of being tempted by darkness — this is true of your own journey of growth. Steps to Take To Move To The Light SideQuestioning whether you are inherently good is a powerful exercise, which in itself is an indicator of goodness. But what can you do to become more Jedi and less Sith? What are the practical steps? Many qualities associated with the light triad are in essence spiritual practices. These are ingrained and set traits, but qualities that are possible to cultivate. For example, a loving-kindness practice can improve your level of compassion towards others. Empathy can be increased by consciously trying to understand other people’s perspectives.Other practices, such as gratitude and forgiveness, can move you away from a more self-centered, egoic approach to life. Meditation and mindfulness are powerful tools to boost these practices; their magic lies in the changes they seem to make in terms of outlook and perspective. As shown, they can change your personality and degree of openness.Studies have also found that practices aimed at improving agreeableness — such as donating to charity or talking to a stranger and taking an interest in how they are — can reduce dark traits, making people less impulsive and selfish. Hope is not lost.The Paradox of “Enlightenment”Paradoxically, moving toward the light requires acceptance of the darkness. As Jung warns: “One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.” You have to embrace your shadow, to fully become aware of how the dark traits influence your behavior from your unconscious mind. Believing yourself to be all bad, or all good, will distort your self-perception — it’s likely you’ll end up suppressing or denying any traits that you associate with being bad, allowing them to operate behind the scenes. Above all else, connect to values that lead you away from yourself. Start to deeply question the value of cultivating more kindness and consideration for others, and aim to move towards those values as best you can, day by day. Learn emotional regulation, in order to avoid your impulses or desires clouding your judgment. And try to keep in mind the golden rule: treat others how you would like to be treated.Goodness doesn’t come by chance but is the process of choosing good and light, in the face of the darkness.KEEP READING How To Improve Self-Awareness: A Comprehensive And Practical Guide

Toxic Masculinity: What It Means, How To Fight It
Mindset

Toxic Masculinity: What It Means, How To Fight It

Toxic masculinity describes unhealthy or harmful behaviors — such as violence or abuse, emotional suppression, or sexual harassment. Awareness around toxic masculinity has sparked a cultural revolution, as unhealthy or harmful traits, previously normalized and accepted as “boys being boys,” are no longer tolerated.RELATED: What to Do When You’re in a Toxic Relationship (Even if You Can’t Get Out)As the model of manliness changes, it leaves a question: what does it mean to be a man? The answer isn’t straightforward. Fighting toxic masculinity starts by identifying gender stereotypes, saying “no” to toxic behaviors, and working towards a more considerate, compassionate, and heartfelt definition of masculinity.Toxic Masculinity Is Not the Same as MasculinityMasculinity describes qualities and behaviors associated with men and boys. It is linked to gender, not biological sex. Gender describes a person’s attributes, whereas sex describes biological characteristics, such as male, female, or intersex. Masculinity as part of the male gender stereotype is a mixture of biological factors and social constructs.You can think of this as a template for what it means to be a man. The traditional model might be someone who has a full beard, big muscles, doesn’t show emotion (other than anger), is into sports and drinking beer, and doesn’t like the color pink. All of these criteria are a mixture of biology and expected behaviors, which together create the template.As the name implies, toxic masculinity points to harmful behaviors often associated with the masculine gender stereotype. It doesn’t describe unchangeable elements of the male sex, fixed to a person’s biological makeup, but socially constructed behaviors. The behaviors themselves aren’t only demonstrated by men, either. But the template of masculinity makes men more likely to demonstrate them.Traditional Male Behaviors and Toxic MasculinityAlthough you are born male, female, or intersex (we won’t diverge into the finer nuances of the science here), no one is born a gender. Many expectations are internalized through the culture in which you grow up. For example, parents who have internalized gender stereotypes may not allow their sons to play with dolls, wear a dress, or outwardly express upset or sadness. These traditional male behaviors are reinforced at school, with teenage boys having to hide their sensitivity.RELATED: What is Wellness? Understanding the Concept of WellnessThe stereotype of men being stoic has big repercussions — studies have found a link between toxic masculinity and suicide risk, and males are four times more likely to die by suicide than females. As an extension, many traditional male behaviors encourage emotional suppression, aggression, or sexual harassment. Other examples of toxic masculinity include linking masculinity with power, believing men are more valuable, intelligent, or deserving than women (gender inequality), and physical or emotional toughness.There is a constant relationship between the societal construct of masculinity, as a cultural or spiritual illness, and the way men behave. Many men might feel the need to live up to the stereotype, to prove their manliness. That in turn reinforces the stereotype. But as we’ve seen with the revolution of masculinity, a change in stereotype can influence behavior, and a change in behavior can influence the stereotype.What Does Healthy Masculinity Look Like?Perhaps a bigger question is: what is healthy masculinity? It’s easier to point out issues with toxic masculinity than to offer alternative behaviors or approaches. It’s likely that, eventually, a new model of masculinity will emerge, which includes the best of traditional male behaviors and gets rid of the worst, in a process of evolution. But that requires clarity around what men should aspire to be. According to A Call To Men, traits of healthy manhood include:Emotional vulnerability. Not being afraid to cry or share difficult emotions.Validating the emotions of other boys and men.Valuing the lives of women and girls.Having an interest in women and girls outside of sexual conquest.Enforcing gender stereotypes to bully or ridicule others.Avoiding violence or aggression.Part of evolving the concept of masculinity is to understand gender exists on a spectrum. Some men are more feminine, some men are more masculine, and all are valid expressions of manliness. However, understanding healthy masculine traits can encourage men to cultivate their masculinity, not reinforcing traditional male behavior, but connecting to masculine values. For example, protecting vulnerable people and acting with nobility and integrity can all be seen as masculine traits. To further illustrate this, Jungian analyst Robert Moore identifies the four archetypes of the healthy masculine as the King, the Warrior, the Lover, and the Magician. Connecting to these symbols of masculinity is one way to connect to healthy masculine energy.How to Fight Toxic MasculinityFinding a solution to the crisis of masculinity requires two approaches. The first is to continue to expose toxic masculinity and challenge the gender stereotype. For all men, this means cultivating self-awareness to look at their own behavior.When noticing toxic masculinity within, be compassionate, and see it as an unhealthy internalized behavior. Do all you can to change and make amends for any harm caused. When noticing toxic masculinity in others, don’t be afraid to call out that behavior, in an appropriate way.The next step is to aspire toward healthy masculinity. For each man, that requires insight into their own balance of masculinity and femininity. There’s no expectation or pressure to meet any template, but there are healthy masculine traits you can cultivate, to find greater balance.No one wins from toxic masculinity. Many men struggle to live up to unfair standards and don’t feel they can authentically be themselves. Many women and men are on the receiving end of hurtful behavior, under the name of masculinity. The more people stand together — avoiding the temptation to demonize all men — the greater the chance of fighting toxic masculinity.KEEP READINGHow To Improve Self-Awareness: A Comprehensive And Practical Guide

Positive Anxiety: 5 Ways to Make Your Stress Work for You
Mindset

Positive Anxiety: 5 Ways to Make Your Stress Work for You

It’s safe to say that no one likes feeling stressed out. When you’re overwhelmed with life, anxiety can creep in, leading to all sorts of uncomfortable emotions. We’re taught to avoid stress at all costs. But learning to sit with, and even appreciate, low level stress can actually impact your overall mental health in a positive way. Instead of vilifying stress, it’s important to honor that you’re feeling stressed out and allow those feelings to impact you positively instead of paralyzing you. RELATED: What Is Groupthink? How To Avoid This Common BiasHere’s what you need to know about letting your stress work for you, rather than against you. What the Science Says about the Upside of Stress(Unsplash)While pervasive, unyielding stress (known as chronic stress) is undeniably bad for our mental and physical health, a recent study supports the idea that a little bit of stress, for a limited amount of time, can actually be good for you. According to Daniela Kaufer, associate professor of integrative biology at the University of California, Berkeley, who co-authored the study, “some amounts of stress are good to push you just to the level of optimal alertness, behavioral and cognitive performance.” RELATED: Open-Mindedness: 5 Practical Steps To Open Your MindLow to moderate levels of stress can create resilience, as well as have other positive impacts on your life in general. Kaufer, along with UC Berkeley postdoctoral fellow Elizabeth Kirby, found through their research that stress can impact people for the better, depending on how they perceive the stress and how long the stress lasts. Basically, the way you think about your own stress matters.Can Anxiety Actually Be Good for You?(Unsplash)Stress-induced anxiety is common these days, especially in the wake of the recent pandemic and all of the other issues people face . But anxiety itself is not the problem, according to therapist Britt Frank, author of The Science of Stuck. Frank calls anxiety the “check engine light” of your brain. When you feel anxious because of stress, your anxiety is not the actual issue—it’s a signal that something is going on beneath the surface. RELATED: What Is the Google Effect, How Does It Hurt Your Mind – And What Can You Do About It?When you reframe everyday stress and anxiety as cues that signal a problem you need to face, you can start to appreciate those uncomfortable feelings of stress, overwhelm and anxious thoughts, then get super curious about the root cause. (Of course, chronic stress and anxiety can be debilitating and do not fall within the scope of this discussion.)5 Ways to Harness the Positive Side of Stress (Unsplash)Now that you know that stress isn’t the absolute worst, and that it can even be helpful, here are five important ways that you can make your stress work for you. 1. Use stress as a source of information, not judgmentThink of stress the way Britt Frank frames anxiety—your check engine light is on and trying to tell you some useful information. Get curious about why you feel stress and what’s at the root of that stress. Don’t try to push your stress away, shove it down or tell yourself to just get over it. There’s no need to shame yourself for feeling stressed. Use your stress as a catalyst for finding a deeper self-awareness. 2. Use stress as a self care reminderWhen you feel stressed, chances are that you need to take a beat and make time for nurturing your mind, body and soul. Ask yourself: When’s the last time you ate something nutritious? Had a glass of water? Moved your body? Instead of ruminating in stress, take action toward self care. If you have trouble thinking of ideas, keep a running list of actions on your phone of things that bring you joy, like texting a friend, going for a walk or petting your dog. That way, when you’re deep in stress, you can easily find a self care strategy to help you through it. 3. Use stress to help you take actionStress can be a great motivator. Once you acknowledge and understand the source of your stress, take one small step of action. RELATED: Sensory Deprivation Tank: What Are the Benefits of ‘Floating’?This could be crossing one item off of your to-do list, answering one email, committing to five minutes of exercise or setting a timer for 10 minutes while you begin to tackle cleaning your house. This first step is typically all you need to hunker down and finish the task at hand. 4. Use stress to assess your time management skillsTake stock of your energy management when you’re in a period of stress. Write down what’s eating up your time and what you’d rather be doing instead (or needing to do instead). Evaluate what you can delegate or just skip. Oftentimes, stress comes when we feel like there aren’t enough hours in the day to get it all done. However, this stress can be alleviated when we realize that we don’t have to shoulder all of the burden ourselves. Use stress as a catalyst for setting boundaries and saying no when you need to. 5. Use stress to remind you of your resilienceFinally, allow stress to be your reminder of how strong you are. Even in the face of overwhelm and big emotions, you can persevere. Remember the times in your life when you felt anxious or over burdened and think about how you got through those periods. Harness your strength and resilience to tackle whatever it is that’s causing you to stress out. Accept that stress will come and go. Ride the waves knowing you can handle whatever hand life deals you. Yes, Positive Anxiety Exists(Unsplash)While it’s hard to feel like there’s an upside to stress and anxiety, since we are often told that these emotions are to be avoided like the plague, they are simply part of life. When you feel stressed, don’t try to fight it. Welcome these feelings, and even the anxiety that can come with them. Use stress as a tool to understand yourself better. When you get curious about stress you can take better care of yourself, set firm boundaries, manage your time more efficiently and feel the benefits of resilience that come from weathering the storm of anxiety. Instead of fearing periods of anxiety, realize that they are bound to come. It’s up to you how you acknowledge stress and use it for your betterment.KEEP READING:Train Your Brain to Shed Distracting Habits and Concentrate Better

Are You Unhappy? It’s Probably Because You’re Failing at This One Key Task
Mindset

Are You Unhappy? It’s Probably Because You’re Failing at This One Key Task

Fate is fundamental to many modes of self-development, ranging from established philosophies such as Buddhism and Stoicism, to ‘new-age,’ modern-day spiritual communities. It’s not always explicit, but the ethos goes something like this: outside of your conscious control, Godlike forces influence your reality. Aware or unaware, your life’s experiences are designed to present the exact lessons you need to grow into your fullest potential.Very quickly, this line of thinking arrives at a moral dilemma. If we ‘choose’ experiences, and reality presents us with unpleasant circumstances, does that imply victims of abuse chose the abuse? Is there a malevolent God? Is poor fortune or negative events people’s fault? Exploring the depths of these questions is beyond the scope of this article, but they do lead to a philosophical conundrum: how do you relate to events far outside of your control, especially unfavorable ones?RELATED: Is Social Isolation Affecting Your Mental Health? There’s a Term For ThatBuddhism states that suffering is inevitable, and accepting this leads to inner peace. Stoicism suggests your approach to events, not events themselves, shape your destiny. New Age thinkers promote the idea that, as the creator of your reality, you can transcend limitations and choose a higher path. Another great thinker — Friedrich Nietzsche — championed accepting the hand you’re dealt. Fate played an integral role in Nietzsche’s overall philosophy of life, fulfillment, and happiness. More than others, Nietzsche suggested your relationship with fate was the path to greatness. It all gravitates around a Latin phrase and the focus of this article: amor fati.A Formula for Greatness(Photo by Ryan Moreno on Unsplash)Amor fati translates to ‘love of one’s fate.’ Nietzsche held this practice in such high esteem, he called it a “formula for greatness in a human being,” and “the highest state a philosopher can attain.” This mindset has the willingness to see everything that happens in life as necessary; the good, the bad, the ugly. It’s beyond simple acceptance. Nietzsche encouraged would-be philosophers to love, not simply accept, all events. In a letter to a friend in 1882, Nietzsche wrote “I am in a mood of fatalistic ‘surrender to God’ — I call it amor fati, so much so, that I would be willing to rush into a lion’s jaws.”As can be expected from one of humanity’s most profound thinkers, Nietzsche’s approach to amor fati is far from clear-cut, despite appearing straightforward on the surface. Comprehending amor fati requires an understanding of the wider context of Nietzsche’s work, and in particular, his ‘affirmation of life’ which is captured in The Will to Power:“If we affirm one single moment, we thus affirm not only ourselves but all existence. For nothing is self-sufficient, neither in us ourselves nor in things; and if our soul has trembled with happiness and sounded like a harp string just once, all eternity was needed to produce this one event—and in this single moment of affirmation all eternity was called good, redeemed, justified, and affirmed.”RELATED: What Is Groupthink? How To Avoid This Common BiasThis excerpt points to Nietzsche's radical gratitude for living, that sees each individual life as a small part of a much bigger, interconnected web. From the Big Bang to the development of the Earth’s atmosphere priming the conditions of life, to multicellular life, to the first mammals, to homo-sapiens… all of it is imbued with meaning. And within that, here you are, a person with a name and a subjective experience and a life where good, bad, and everything in between unfolds.With amor fati, Nietzsche taps into a cosmic perspective of being — as expansive a perspective as possible — with profound results. How often do we reflect on the sanctity of life, when caught up in day-to-day worries? Are we able to see the bigger picture, to embrace our role as witnesses to something far beyond our comprehension, a type of universal fate unfolding in front of our very eyes?A Mindset for Transformation(Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash)Nietzsche’s amor fati was inspired by Stoicism. Marcus Aurelius channeled the spirit of amor fati when he encouraged people to “accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart.” Seneca echoed the same sentiment when he wrote that “fate leads the willing, and drags along the reluctant.” Leading Stoic thinkers explored the notion of fate as part of a divine plan by God, inclusive of an ‘inescapable’ sequence of causes.Crucially, the Stoics believed in elements of free will, that within this divine plan, there was an opportunity to choose a virtuous life, to grow, to transform. Clearly, Nietzsche agreed, by calling amor fati a ‘formula for greatness.’ RELATED: Open-Mindedness: 5 Practical Steps To Open Your MindThe element of control and intent is the bridge between philosophical concepts and practical application. Whether there is a divine plan or not, loving one’s fate is transformative in its very nature. It dilutes regret, eases unnecessary suffering, and develops a life full of purpose.One of the most prominent spiritual teachers of the present age, Eckhart Tolle, tackles this conundrum when he writes: “Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it. Make it your friend and ally, not your enemy. This will miraculously transform your whole life.” This aligns with the Buddhist approach of non-judgment as a way to ease suffering. Whether or not fate is an objective truth, act as if it is, and witness the miraculous transformation.How Amor Fati Relates to Self-Development(Photo by Yosi Prihantoro on Unsplash)Many philosophers have contemplated the intention behind Nietzsche’s words. Our purpose isn’t to academically deconstruct amor fati, but to help you apply its wisdom to your life. With that in mind, how does this mindset relate to change? Does it mean we should all give up, surrender to God, and run into the lion’s jaws? Or is there a way this can be integrated, to move towards greatness, whilst still feeling in control of life?Amor fati is a reminder that so much of what happens in life is outside of our control. Resisting this, fighting it, wanting things to be different, regretting things in the past, all contribute to unnecessary suffering. Only when you let go of all desire of how you wish things were different, can you fully embrace your present reality. Only when you fully embrace the present, can you change course, and move towards what you truly desire.When viewing all of life’s events as meaningful and purposeful, everything takes on a new dimension. Rather than a passive ‘shit happens,’ everything is presented as like the growth mindset on steroids — not only is every experience an opportunity for learning, it’s part of a cosmic divine plan, you playing your part in nature’s evolution.It takes time and practice to authentically embrace amor fati in an embodied way. It’s no small feat; remember Nietzsche calls this the “highest state a philosopher can attain,” making it on par with forms of Eastern enlightenment. Be patient with yourself, and let amor fati inspire you. Be aware of the risk of intellectually wishing to love everything that happens, in a way that leads to emotional suppression, or denial.Start with acceptance. Whenever you notice yourself stuck in the past, or getting caught up on things not going as planned, let yourself consider that this is fateful, that there’s a much greater lesson being learned, that the hand you’ve been dealt is leading you to horizons you wouldn’t have chosen, but that will elevate you to greater heights. Above all else, in loving your own fate, don’t become passive. Amor fati isn’t resignation, but the wisdom to love that which is inevitable.Take everything as it comes, and be bold enough to become the master of your own fate, to write your own script, orchestrate your divine plan, to fulfill your personal destiny.Life is a journey. And with amor fati, you’ll learn to love every step.KEEP READING:Train Your Brain to Shed Distracting Habits and Concentrate Better

Mistakes Can Help Your Career - If You Use This Weird Social Phenomenon to Your Advantage
Mindset

Mistakes Can Help Your Career - If You Use This Weird Social Phenomenon to Your Advantage

Which character do we tend to side with in books, TV shows, or movies: the flawless, utterly competent “golden child” archetype who never makes a mistake, or the downright decent, down-to-earth striver who gets it wrong some of the time but sticks to his or her goal and gets the job done in the end?The answer, of course, is the latter – we tend to have a negative reaction to people we perceive as never making mistakes and always achieving things with competence. This is because such people make us feel vaguely threatened, perhaps a touch envious, or even less secure about ourselves. And it’s why someone else’s mistakes can make us feel more at ease, more sympathetic, and more self-assured.RELATED: Self-Efficacy: How to Never Stop Believing in YourselfThis is called the Pratfall Effect: it is a phenomenon in social psychology wherein witnessing someone else’s minor (and generally harmless) error actually improves the way we feel about that individual. Simply put, when we see someone spill a glass of water, miss a step and stumble, use the wrong word in a sentence, or commit some other pedestrian error – the exact kind we can and do make ourselves – we like that person more.And the Pratfall Effect is most effective when the person making that minor mistake is someone we might otherwise have estimated as threateningly competent.The Origins of the Pratfall Effect(Photo by Amanda Dalbjörn on Unsplash)While of course in practical terms the effects of this social phenomenon have existed for as long as humans have lived in societies, the specific identification of the Pratfall Effect can be dated to the year 1966 and attributed to a social psychologist named Elliot Aronson.In seeking to prove a theory he had, Aronson created two audio recordings of a quiz-style game show (staged for the experiment, though participants were unaware of this). In the first version of the show, a poised and clever-sounding host led participants through the competition and the proceedings went off without a hitch. RELATED: Overcoming Depression: What to Do When You Feel Like Giving UpIn the second version of the show, the only difference was that the host was heard to knock over a cup of coffee and respond to his accident with casual humor.As Aronson had expected, study participants in the group that listened to the recording with the spilled coffee incident found the host of the show much more likeable and relatable. The only difference? He had made a small mistake.Examples of the Pratfall Effect(Photo by Yogendra Singh on Unsplash)If you think back, you will probably realize you have experienced the Pratfall Effect myriad times in your life: perhaps your boss knocked over a cup of coffee during a meeting and laughed it off, suddenly seeming less powerful and unapproachable and instead amiable and relatable. Perhaps you have seen a Hollywood star slip on a red carpet or a runway model miss a step and found them suddenly relatable. RELATED: The Persona: Why Growth Means Removing The Mask You Show To The WorldEven a president who makes the occasional gaffe during a speech or press conference can seem more down-to-earth and likeable than a cool, collected politician who always has the perfect diction. And in your everyday life, you have surely seen a stranger stumble on a street corner or drop a bag in an airport and immediately sympathized with and even been charmed by the person. (Ironic, isn’t it, how embarrassed we can be when we make these harmless little mistakes ourselves even though we know how we would feel when seeing someone else do the same!)The Pratfall Effect as a Psychological Tool(Photo by History in HD on Unsplash)Those who have a clear understanding of the Pratfall Effect can use it as a powerful tool in politics, marketing, sales, and other arenas – mind you, they should only do so with good intentions, of course. By intentionally making yourself seem more relatable and likeable, you can help relate more closely to a constituency of potential voters; you see politicians doing this all the time when they adopt the mannerisms and speech patterns of a local population, even using improper grammar or colloquialisms that make them seem more approachable. RELATED: When Shaq Discovered A Teen Boy’s Mom Couldn’t Afford Extra-Large Shoes, He Did ThisIn sales or marketing setting, if the pitch person (be they a speaker at a conference, a TV presenter, or the car salesman or saleswoman sitting across the desk from you) seems perfectly polished, you are less likely to respond to them as a human and thus less likely to end up buying what they are selling. If, on the other hand, the person makes a few little mistakes, is a bit self-effacing, and seems a bit imperfect, you are more likely to connect with them on a human level and also to be more likely to be comfortable becoming a customer.When the Pratfall Effect Backfires(Photo by Jan Antonin Kolar on Unsplash)When a person who seems highly competent makes a minor mistake, in most cases, our perceived attraction of them will go up and we will find them more likeable, more relatable, and more trustworthy, and that, to reiterate, is the essential nature of the Pratfall Effect. On the other hand, when someone who does not seem all that competent or capable makes a mistake, it has the opposite effect: we see that person as even less competent, as less likable, and as less attractive.The Pratfall Effect is also ineffective or works against a person when they make a major mistake. While we may laugh at and appreciate a famous neurosurgeon flubbing a word or dropping a stack of notes during a lecture, there is no good that could come of a doctor making a mistake during an operation, for example – not in the eyes of others or for the patient on the table. Major mistakes – or transgressions or judgment errors – just don’t make someone likeable.So too can someone who makes too many mistakes go from initially more likeable to less so. If you want to put the Pratfall Effect to work in your factor, take care not to try too hard to appear likeable through error lest you may accidentally lower others’ estimation of you. A safer bet is to just be your genuine self and not to worry so much if and when you do make a mistake, because chances are good an honest mistake will actually work in your favor.KEEP READING:6 Ways to Slow Down the Aging Process and Stay Sharp and Strong

All About Nudge Theory: What It Is and How Can It Shape Human Behavior
Mindset

All About Nudge Theory: What It Is and How Can It Shape Human Behavior

As we go about our days, whether at work, in the grocery store or browsing the web, tiny cues continually influence our behavior—many times without us even knowing. Called “nudges,” these suggestions aren’t overt but they are significantly changing our actions and choices. If you’ve never heard of nudges or “nudge theory,” the behavioral economics concept that explains how and why these nudges work, you’re not alone. And for the companies that employ nudge theory to help increase their bottom lines, people’s cluelessness about nudging is actually ideal. But there are ways that nudge theory can encourage people toward healthier behaviors, both for themselves and the environment, as well as improve their likelihood to stick to good habits.Here’s a breakdown of nudge theory to help increase your general awareness of the concept and show you how it can benefit you and the world around you. Nudge theory definitionFirst, let’s dive into the definition of nudge theory a little deeper. Nudge theory hinges on the idea that if you shape the environment around people in a certain way, you can influence the choices they make. For example, if you want students to make healthier choices, banning junk food on campus is not always ideal. Instead, you might replace the food available in vending machines, providing different choices. The key is influencing behavior in a subtle way, so that people won’t realize that they’re being pushed toward making one choice over another. This is as true for junk food as it is for economic incentives in larger society.This theory of indirecting suggesting is used not only in behavioral sciences and economics but also in political and social theory. With nudging designed by a behavioural insights team or institution, people still feel like they have control over their own decisions and retain a freedom of choice. So, overt advertising, pressuring someone’s decision making process or otherwise flaunting a certain choice would not be considered nudging. Nudge theory has long been used in society but it was popularized as a concept by behavioral economist Thaler and Sunstein, legal scholars that released their 2008 book Nudge: Improving Decisions About Health, Wealth, and Happiness, available through Yale University Press. What exactly is a nudge?A nudge is anything that alters someone’s decision making or behavior in a predictable way—without taking away their options or incentivizing certain choices in a meaningful way. By changing the environment, a nudge makes it more likely that a person will make one choice over another when their brain’s cognitive processing automatically selects the favored choice. To understand how this works, it’s important to understand human decision making. People will often do things that they know are not in their best interest, even when we are aware of that fact. In many cases, we act based on whatever is put in front of us. Especially when we are tired or pressed for time, we’re more likely to make decisions based on our immediate environment rather than fully thinking about how a given decision lines up with our goals and values.In some situations, this is great. We might be encouraged to make a choice that’s actually better for us or better for society - think opt-out organ donation as opposed to opt-in. Nudges have historically been helpful for improving decisions about health, as we’ll soon discuss that in more detail However, in other situations, nudges may be detrimental, especially in situations where they encourage people to spend more money than they otherwise would have. You might encounter the term “libertarian paternalism” in these sorts of discussions, which is the idea that it is both possible and legitimate for institutions to affect behavior while also respecting freedom of choice. Libertarian paternalism acts as a sort of middle ground between the extremes.Different types of nudgesThere are a number of different types of nudges (sometimes referred to as a “nudge unit,”) each of which alters people's behavior by altering the “choice architecture” around us - all without us knowing. That said, once you know about nudge theory you will likely become more aware of when and how you are being nudged.Here are the most common types of nudges:Setting a default optionTypically, people won’t deselect a default option to choose something else. So when a certain option is intentionally selected as the default, this increases the chances that people will “choose” it, just like the organ donation example described above.Making certain options easier or harder to selectThis one depends on the level of ease when choosing certain options. For this nudge, either the so-called “good” option is easier for people to choose or the so-called “bad” option is harder to choose. This steers people toward selecting the good option. Making certain options more noticeableAnother way nudging can encourage people to choose a good option over a bad one is to make the good option more noticeable or the bad option less noticeable. This attracts people’s attention toward the good option, making them more likely to select it. Creating influence with a crowdThe idea that other people are doing something is a strong psychological anchor. People like to do what’s considered popular or what other people are doing. We want to follow social norms, even if we aren’t consciously aware of that drive. This sphere of influence isn’t just focused on what people close to us or what people we admire do but what people in general tend to do. Sending a reminderThis nudge may seem a little more overt but it’s not taking away people’s freedom of choice. These reminders might come in the form of your doctor sending you an email to remind you to make your yearly checkup appointment. This reminder increases the chances that you will make that appointment. Real Life Examples of Nudge Theory Talking about nudge theory theoretically is one thing. But it makes more sense when you see how it’s put into practice in various aspects of daily life. These real life examples of nudges in action will show you how this behavioral science theory works.In the workplaceReducing meeting time: By capping meeting times, people are more productive (because they have more time for deep work) and they are less likely to talk casually and waste those precious minutes, making the meeting time more meaningful. Offering fewer waste baskets and printers: If you only have one trashcan and one printer per office floor, people have to exert more energy to throw things away and to print things, respectively. This helps create less waste overall. Installing creative carpeting for open floor plans: When people aren’t in individual cubes, privacy can be tough. Some offices in the UK government actually install half circle shapes of carpet in a color that’s darker than the rest of the floor’s carpet under people’s work stations. The shape is big enough to create a small “island” for each worker’s desk and chair, plus a little extra. This helps discourage other people from hovering over their coworkers’ desks. Having a visual demarcation of space allows people to feel less crowded by others and like they have more privacy. Putting up inspirational posters and photos: Installing thoughtful quotes or images of inspirational people can influence behavior for the better. These subliminal messages encourage employees to follow the words they see or act more like the people in the photos. (You might also see inspirational posters and photos in schools and in doctors’ offices.)Offering an on-site gym or workout classes: Giving people a way to move their bodies during the day can not only encourage healthy habits but also influences workers to come into the office earlier or stay later so that they can use the facilities. For that matter, offering catered lunches or an on-site cafeteria also nudges people toward eating in the building (or at their desks), especially when the food is paid for by the company. In societyCharging for plastic bags: When it costs you 10 cents for a grocery bag, you are less likely to ask for one. (Ariel Skelley / Getty)Changing the placement of healthy food ideas: When candy is swapped out for nutritious items at the grocery checkout counter, people are often more inspired to buy healthy snacks.Encouraging recycling with size: Trash services giving customers a small trash bin and a larger recycle bin can decrease waste and encourage recycling. Offering renewable energy as the default: When energy companies offer renewable energy as a default option on their websites, people are more likely to sign up for that service. Decorating stairs to encourage exercise: In Sweden, the popularity of stairs painted like piano keys led to the installation of similar stairs in Milan and Istanbul. At Utah Valley University, campus stairs were decorated to show how many calories you can burn by walking up them.In businessesHighlighting most popular choices: You’ll see this on Amazon when certainly products are highlighted as “Amazon’s Choice.” Language like “x number of people also have this item in their carts” also encourages purchases when online shopping.Reducing plate sizes: Restaurants can choose slightly smaller plate sizes to reduce food waste and overall costs—without lowering their prices. Typically customers will not notice this small change. Installing arrow stickers on floors: These arrows on store floors can lead people to certain items or displays that a business wants people to buy.Encouraging food upgrades and combo meals: Fast food restaurants prominently offer combo meals to influence people to buy more. You might also remember hearing the phrase “Do you want to Supersize that?” every time you order from a popular fast food chain. Nudging YourselfYes, you can nudge yourself to make better choices, particularly when it comes to improving decisions about health. While you will be aware of the nudges, these cues can encourage you to make healthier decisions or more easily accomplish goals that you’ve set for yourself (and for your family). Here are a few strategies for applying nudge theory to influence your own “good” behavior:Placing healthy snacks in an easy-to-access drawer or cabinet, or leaving fresh cut fruit on the kitchen counter (Put cookies and sweets in harder to reach places.)Setting time limits of your phone for certain websites or apps Offering a reward for kids to complete homework or choresPutting up visual chore charts and calendars so that everyone can see themPutting your dental floss next to your toothbrush to encourage you to both floss and brush every dayLaying workout clothes out the night before so you put them on first thing in the morning and actually do your workoutKeeping phone out of reach when you don’t want to use it (i.e. put it in another room while you watch TV or plug it in somewhere not next to your bed so you don’t read for it first thing in the AM)Wearing a fitness watch that reminds you to stand with a vibration or beep alert at hourly intervals(Oscar Wong / Getty)What’s in a nudge?As you now know, nudge theory is a concept in behavioural economics that proposes positive reinforcement and indirect suggestions. Some people are critical of nudge theory, especially as it relates to business practices of encouraging people to spend more money—basically influencing people to act in the company’s best interest instead of their own. However, there are a number of ways that a mere nudge can be used to help people make better choices for themselves, for others and for the planet without having to be guilted or pushed into doing so. Because of that, nudge theory remains an important tool for improving decisions, especially when it comes to public health and safety.

The Shocking Truth Behind Paris Hilton's Dumb Blonde Persona Will Change How You See Her
Mental Health

The Shocking Truth Behind Paris Hilton's Dumb Blonde Persona Will Change How You See Her

When we think of Paris Hilton, we always have a certain image in mind: the ditzy, dumb, conceited, blonde heiress. What we don’t realize is that her public perception has very much been shaped by the media; these platforms have profited off depicting Paris in a certain way to generate more views, more sales, and more clicks.While it’s no secret that Paris has made some problematic decisions over the years, it’s also unfair to examine those choices without looking into her past. Believe it or not: before the sex tape, the reality shows, the perfume lines, and the horror movies, Paris was just an innocent teenager. In the documentary This Is Paris, it emerges that Paris as a teenager wanted nothing more than to fit in and be loved by her family and friends. Her adolescence, however, was rife with personal tragedies and insecurities, which led to further pain and disillusionment in her twenties and thirties. </p><p>At 41, Paris has learned her lessons; she has found it in her heart to move on and focus on building a world that is just a little better than it was yesterday. Her journey from a bad-girl socialite to a confident businesswoman tells us that it’s difficult but not impossible to heal from those tragedies and live our life with purpose and meaning.<br/></p><h2>Paris’s “Abusive” Experience at Boarding School Left her Permanently “Traumatized” </h2><p>As a teenager, Paris had developed a reputation for being a party girl. In the documentary, she <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wOg0TY1jG3w&ab_channel=ParisHilton">recalled </a>being “addicted to the nightlife” in New York. Her parents were growing more and more concerned over their young daughter’s behaviour but instead of addressing those issues in a reasonable, empathetic manner, they decided to ship their child off to a boarding school. </p><p>At first, she was sent to an “outdoor wilderness program,” revealed Paris’s mother, Kathy Hilton. Hailed as an “emotional growth school,” in the middle of nowhere, this camp forced Paris and other teenagers to do manual labour all day long. </p><p>Paris tried to break out of the facility with another girl but they were caught and brought back. Paris described the ordeal, saying: <br/></p><blockquote class="wp-block-quote"><p>The guys that worked at the camp grabbed us and then we got back and they literally just beat the hell out of us in front of everyone. </p></blockquote><p>Paris was then sent to another camp for troubled teenagers but she managed to run away this time for real. Kathy and Rick Hilton were getting more and more impatient by the minute; finally, they decided to ship Paris off to Provo Canyon School in Utah. </p><p>To avoid Paris’s protests, her parents literally arranged for strangers to grab their daughter off her bed in the middle of the night to take her to the school. Paris thought she was getting “kidnapped,” at the time. </p><p>The school itself was the “worst of the worst.” The school operated under rigid structures that didn’t allow any recreation or fun of any kind. Paris said: <br/></p><blockquote class="wp-block-quote"><p>There’s no getting out of there. You're sitting on a chair, staring at the wall all day long, getting yelled at or hit. I felt like a lot of the people who worked there got off on torturing children and seeing them naked. </p></blockquote><p>Paris added that the school would prescribe these unknown pills to the students. Paris had no idea what they were for but they made her feel “tired and numb.” When Paris refused to take the pills this one time, she was basically locked in “solitary confinement,” without any clothes for twenty hours straight. <br/></p><blockquote class="wp-block-quote"><p>I was freezing, I was starving, I was alone, I was scared [...] It's terrifying, and I relive that every night. I experienced it, and to this day I'm still traumatized [...] They were constantly being abusive in every way. </p></blockquote><p>Paris said that she still suffers from insomnia and nightmares as a result of her experiences at Provo. Furthermore, she began to “hate” her parents for putting her through the whole mess. </p><h2 id="h-her-boyfriend-had-pressured-her-to-make-the-infamous-sex-tape">Her Boyfriend Had Pressured her to Make the Infamous Sex Tape<br/></h2><p>Paris’s early “claim-to-fame” was widely believed to be the sex tape that leaked in 2003. The tape was recorded in 2001 with her ex-boyfriend Rick Salomon. The public’s assumption that Paris herself released the tape to achieve fame couldn’t be further from the truth —the sex tape was released without her consent. <br/></p><p>Paris said she was just eighteen and not in the right “headspace," when she made the choice with Rick. For a girl who’d been so starved of love and appreciation in her life, she wanted to do something that would please her boyfriend and put her in his good graces. She said about the matter:<br/></p><blockquote class="wp-block-quote"><p>I was just so in love with him and I wanted to make him happy. I just remember him pulling out the camera, and he was kind of pressuring me into. Like, 'Oh, you're so boring. Do you want me to just call someone else? No one will ever see it.' It was like being electronically raped, and for people to think that I [leaked] it on purpose? </p></blockquote><p>Paris said that if the same occurred today, the reaction wouldn’t have been harsh for her. She wouldn’t have been made to be the “bad person,” or as someone who is fame-hungry. </p><p>The sex-tape incident, in combination with the betrayal of her parents, turned Paris into a perpetually untrusting woman. Over the years, she said she has endured five abusive relationships, some of which turned physically as well as mentally violent. She had even sworn off men for a while. <br/></p><blockquote class="wp-block-quote"><p>I was like, ‘He loves me so much that he is going this crazy.’ I just wanted love so bad that I was willing to accept being hit or yelled at or screamed or strangled. A lot of things. </p></blockquote><p>Even now, she has to take a number of precautions to maintain romantic relationships with her partners. First, she said she sets up cameras in her room so she can keep track of what happens when she’s not there. Then, she also gets a new computer every time she has a new beau so they don’t try to break in or threaten her for passwords. </p><h2 id="h-paris-is-focused-on-her-career-and-on-raising-awareness-about-boarding-school-abuse">Paris is Focused on her Career and on Raising Awareness About Boarding School Abuse</h2><p>The latest documentary also sheds light on Paris’s ambitions as she approaches forty. Though her sister Nicky insists that she should be less focused on being “greedy,” Paris is insistent that she wants to be a billionaire, but she definitely does want to become a mother down the line. She said:<br/></p><blockquote class="wp-block-quote"><p>I just don't know when I'm going to have time. I will not stop until I make a billion dollars, and then I think I can relax. I know it sounds crazy. I just don't want to have to worry. I don't want to ever have to worry about anything. </p></blockquote><p>The entrepreneur revealed that she’s frozen her eggs, so she does have the option to undertake motherhood at some point in the future. As for the time being, the influencer is dedicating her energies to building her empire through the various projects she’s got in the works. She also wants to raise awareness about Provo Canyon School, which has been slammed with 56 accusations of either physical and sexual assault. She <a href="https://people.com/tv/paris-hilton-opens-up-about-the-secret-terrifying-abuse-she-suffered-as-teen/">told </a><em>PEOPLE</em>:<br/></p><blockquote class="wp-block-quote"><p>I want these places shut down. I want them to be held accountable. And I want to be a voice for children and now adults everywhere who have had similar experiences. I want it to stop for good and I will do whatever I can to make it happen. </p></blockquote><h2 id="h-thinking-in-stereotypes-doesn-t-help-anyone">Thinking in Stereotypes Doesn’t Help Anyone </h2><p>Paris Hilton has often been portrayed as the epitome of the rich, blonde girl who’s had everything spoon-fed to her since birth. Though she grew up privileged in many ways, she too suffered from having negligent parents who didn’t want to truly know or help their daughter. As a result, Paris dreamt of getting out of their shadows and building her own brand. In her worst days at Provo, that’s all she ever dreamed of. </p><p>“Thinking about what I wanted to do and who I wanted to become when I got out of there,” was the mantra that drove her as a young woman. </p><p>The fact she was able to heal and put her life back together despite the obstacles that jumped in her way is remarkable in and of itself. Along the way, she made mistakes, learnt from them but managed to zero in on the big picture. Her story tells us that we should never judge someone based on the stereotypes slapped on them. Paris was never the dumb blonde; she has been a kind, thoughtful, and driven activist that wants to make the world a better place. </p><p>Paris is hardly going to be the last individual with whom we judge based on stereotypes. Therefore, it’s worth remembering that you can’t judge a person without interacting with them or knowing their background or story. </p><p>Everyone’s fighting their own struggles behind the scenes, even the ones we assume to be privileged and fortunate. Perceiving people as who they are, as opposed to what they seem like, doesn’t just go a long way in building more fulfilling, stronger relationships in our life; it helps us spread more compassion as everyone continues to face challenges. </p>