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28 Silly, Inspiring and Hilarious White Elephant Gifts Under $20
Friends

28 Silly, Inspiring and Hilarious White Elephant Gifts Under $20

Thank god for holiday gift exchanges or you'd be buying dozens of gifts for everyone you know. This holiday season, consider hosting a white elephant gift exchange to ramp up the entertainment factor while keeping things budget-friendly. Here’s how it works: Each person buys and wraps a present. When the gift exchange starts, everyone draws a number that indicates the order in which they will be picking a wrapped present out of the bunch. After the first person picks their gift, the others can either steal previously opened gifts or take a new one from the pile. If you get your gift stolen, you can just grab another one to unwrap. This process continues until everyone has a gift. White elephant gift exchanges are meant to be silly and fun and include gag gifts. When shopping for a present to bring, keep in mind that you don’t know who the gift is for. This is also why a $20 budget is perfect; the gifts aren’t meant to be special or useful but rather spread smiles and elicit laughs throughout the night.That being said, shopping for a white elephant party can be harder than it seems. Here are 28 family-friendly white elephant gift ideas that are under $20 so you can shop smarter – not harder!The Gift of Humor The Pet Butler prank gift box is an empty vessel to trick your friends and family into thinking you got them something strange and useless. But, that’s the point! The box is just a decoy. Have fun trying to keep a straight face watching this get unwrapped!Who it’s best for: This is a great gag for anyone who likes to give gift cards but doesn’t like to be a boring gift-giver. With this fun way of delivering it, no one will ever call your gift cards a snooze again.Why it’s a great gift: Given that a white elephant exchange is supposed to be full of joy and laughter, this would be a great addition to get everyone talking and thinking. Buyers are saying: Thomas M. said, “I could not stop laughing and neither could everybody else. The best part is watching the recipient opening it and the ‘are you serious...?’ 10/10, would prank again.”SEE IT: $8.99 at Amazon.com Coffee and Cocktails on DemandThis concierge-style bell has simple instructions written right on it. One ding for coffee and two dings for cocktails. Express yourself and your needs with the touch of a button – no words necessary. Who it’s best for: This adorable product is an ode to “nagging” and will appeal to friends and family with significant others.Why it’s a great gift: It makes a great white elephant gift as it delivers humor with a purpose. While not a conventionally useful gift, some spouses may take this and run with it! Buyers are saying: Gloria W. agreed in her short but sweet review, saying, “My spouse loved this gift. She dings and dongs this bell.” SEE IT: $12.17 at Amazon.com Did Somebody Say Waffles?There’s nothing quite like waffles on a Sunday morning. This mini waffle maker produces individual waffles to get you breakfast in a flash. Who it’s best for: This machine is great for those with little kitchen storage, or anyone living on their own. It comes in a plethora of cute colors to adhere to any aesthetic while still being functional.Why it’s a great gift: Many of your friends and family would get excellent use out of this appliance without feeling like it’ll clutter up their living space. Buyers are saying: Andrea N. raved about this product, “Perfect waffle maker for one or two people. Great for making kids breakfast. Cute and easy to store.”SEE IT: $12.99 at Amazon.com Infused with LovePerfect for any tea drinker, this silicone elephant infuser is a tribute to the game of white elephant itself but also a very practical present. It’s easy to use, made of non-toxic materials, and the elephant design will surely bring a smile to anyone’s face. Who it’s best for: Your favorite loose-leaf tea aficionado. Why it’s a great gift: What makes this a good choice for white elephant is that it’s fairly neutral. Most people drink some form of caffeine, and it may encourage a coffee drinker to take on morning tea, especially if it means staring at a smiling elephant. Buyers are saying: Abby C. loved this product, “So cute and no tea leaves can get through!” SEE IT: $18.71 at Amazon.com Knowledge is PowerThis 704-page book is full of interesting, weird and captivating knowledge. It includes lists, games, anecdotes, articles, and more that will pique your interest and nurture a curious mind. It features an array of topics ranging from the animal kingdom to politics and everything in between.Who it’s best for: This gift is for passionate learners and fun-fact lovers. It’s also a sarcastic gift for the know-it-alls in your life. Why it’s a great gift: Perfect for a white elephant gift exchange, this book contains actual knowledge but harbors a hilarious aspect of uselessness. It’s a conversation-starter that holds some secretly fascinating stuff within its pages. Buyers are saying: Rhonda W. loved it for all these reasons, “Know-it-all boyfriend needed more useless info. Was a joke but it was actually a really decent book. A lot thicker than I expected and some really interesting info.” SEE IT: $11.88 at Amazon.com Such a Mood Whether you work from home or not, you need this daily mood desk flipchart on your desk. This desktop accessory includes 47 moods to choose from, each equipped with a smiley and sarcastic definition. It includes facts about the mood as well as sample sentences to describe it to your coworkers. Who it’s best for: Perfect for social coworkers who like to start a conversation, or for the team that likes to have a little more fun than most other departments. Why it’s a great gift: If your office is participating in a white elephant exchange, this needs to be part of the gift roster. It’s a great way of encouraging moments of connection throughout the day. Buyers are saying: Kat W. bought this for her boss at work, saying “It is always a hoot to change the moods in the office and it has a wide range of interesting choices.” SEE IT: $16.49 at Amazon.comBetween a Rock and a Soft PlaceThis cozy, velvet throw pillowcase has more to offer than comfort. The design is actually an extremely close-up print of Dwyane “The Rock” Johnson’s face. Who it’s best for: This gift isn’t just for fans of The Rock, but it’s perfect for meme lovers and jokesters who get a kick out of random humor. Why it’s a great gift: This might seem like a stretch for a white elephant gift, but it’s a great way to insert some laughs throughout the exchange. It’ll provide the receiver with a truly comfortable pillow (and a famous cuddle buddy). SEE IT: $15.96 at Amazon.com Sushi, Anyone?These aren’t just chopsticks; these are epic lightsaber chopsticks. They light up with red and blue LEDs, making your sushi experience out of this world – literally. Who it’s best for: These are great for Star Wars fans who also like a good California roll, but they could also be part of a parent’s toolkit for picky eaters. Why it’s a great gift: In true white elephant fashion, this gift is functional without sacrificing the element of entertainment. It’ll attract attention and may even inspire a group sushi outing. It also works for multiple age groups if your game includes a younger audience. Buyers are saying: Chelsea R. summed it up well, “Make eating fun.”SEE IT: $9.97 at Amazon.com The Gift of Self-HelpThis New York Times bestseller has sold over two million copies. “Unfu*k Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Life” by Gary John Bishop is a refreshing take on self-help with an honest, BS-free approach to self-empowerment. Who it’s best for: This gift will resonate with many, making it a neutral yet thoughtful choice. Why it’s a great gift: It’s well-reviewed and gives the gift of self-help yet still has an entertaining title. Buyers are saying: Randy L says it’s “A book that helps focus on how to better your life and refocus yourself.”$12.79 at Amazon.com NAffirmators Original: 50 Affirmation Cards negative Nancyo One Likes a Negative Nancy Comedian Suzi Barrett created a deck of 50 affirmation cards to inspire you with non-cheesy daily positive affirmations. Illustrated by Naomi Sloman, each card will lift your mood. Who it’s best for: This set of affirmation cards is great for both positive minds and pessimists. Perfect for those who like to journal daily – or even those who are going through a rough patch. Why it’s a great gift: These make an awesome white elephant gift as anyone can use them no matter their age or gender. They’re lighthearted yet insightful. Buyers are saying: Kaila S. loved them because “they’re beautifully designed, well made, and really help set a positive tone every morning for the day.” SEE IT: $13.99 at Amazon.com A Mug for Your Boss This 11-ounce mug provides both humor and a vessel to hold your sacred cup of morning coffee. The high-quality ceramic and high-definition printing make it feel special. It’s also dishwasher- and microwave-safe.Who it’s best for: This is a hilarious and good-natured way of bonding with your boss. It’s also a great buy for anyone in your life who manages a team. Why it’s a great gift: Without a doubt, this will be a hit at your office white elephant party. All in the name of fun, this gift is snarky without being mean. It truly captures the spirit of white elephant.Buyers are saying: Nowshin E. confirms that it’s a “great gift for your boss” and says that her “boss loved the mug.” SEE IT: $14.95 at Amazon.com Happy FeetSocks for Christmas can be boring, but not these Donut Box Socks. They are extra-soft and feature a funky design in a unique packaging. Who it’s best for: These women’s socks are fun for mothers, nieces, or girlfriends – especially if they have a sweet tooth. Why it’s a great gift: Anyone will find these socks sweet and joyful, making them the perfect white elephant contribution. Buyers are saying: Anna B. sums it up nicely saying that these are “excellent quality in a nice box.” SEE IT: $19.99 at Amazon.com PremiBursera Palo Santo Sticksum Palo Santo Sticks This pack of five premium SEFOR-certified 100% sustainable Palo Santo incense is perfect for smudging, aromatherapy, or relaxation. The sticks come in resealable, biodegradable packaging that keeps them fragrant. Each stick can be relit several dozen times. Who it’s best for: This Palo Santo incense is perfect for your spiritual friends. It also makes a great housewarming gift for new homeowners, as Palo Santo incense wood helps cleanse spaces from negative energy. Why it’s a great gift: This is an interesting and unique white elephant present that can start a conversation or pique someone’s interest. Buyers are saying: Lana C. says that “each stick lasts for a very long time. And they are very pleasant and effective.”SEE IT: $19.99 at Amazon.com Hot Sauce in a Pinch Hot sauce fans are true spice lovers to the bone. This mini Sriracha keychain offers a portable, squeezable version of your favorite chili sauce. Just refill it and enjoy your favorite hot sauce on the go. The bottles are BPA-free and TSA-approved as well as leak-proof (and bland food-proof). Who it’s best for: If you have a spicy food-loving friend, this gift is going to be a game-changer! Why it’s a great gift: These keychain squeeze bottles are perfect for a white elephant exchange because they can be refilled with anything. Even if the receiver doesn’t love hot sauce, they can fill the bottles with hand sanitizer, lotion or any other type of liquid. Buyers are saying: Reviewer MB says these bottles are “excellent quality” and even goes as far as to say that they’ve been “hanging on purse for three days now, no leaks.”SEE IT: $19.99 at Amazon.com A True Conversation StarterThese cards are meant to help you skip the superficial and shallow small talk and get right down to the good stuff. The deck has 50 questions and prompts to help you get to know someone on a deeper level. Who it’s best for: Gift these to your significant other for a thoughtful date night, or to a coworker you want to get to know just a little bit better. Why it’s a great gift: As far as white elephant gifts go, this is on the more thought-provoking side. It might not get the loudest laugh, but it’ll start a conversation from the moment it’s unwrapped. Buyers are saying: Sarah M. says she “took this deck on a road trip with a new bf. It was a fantastic use of time.” SEE IT: $15.49 at Amazon.com Bath Wine Holder If you’ve ever wondered how you can keep your wine glass dry while taking a bath, this product is the answer. The silicone attachment adheres to the wall without leaving residue behind. Simply hang up your glass and sip when needed. Who it’s best for: This gift is ideal for the stressed-out moms out there, but any wine-loving friend or relative would find this particularly appealing. Why it’s a great gift: White elephant presents are all about being a little bit snarky and a little bit funny with a hint of truth behind it. Wine lovers will get a kick out of this. Buyers are saying: “Super cute, easy to use and easy to remove from your shower walls. I got my bestie this because she loves sipping wine either in the shower or in her bath! It was the perfect gift!” wrote Kailey. SEE IT: $14.99 at Amazon.com Doritos on the RunThis Airpods case is shaped like a Doritos bag and it’s everything we never knew we needed. It makes a statement and will garner non-stop compliments. Who it’s best for: Any salty snack lovers in your life will appreciate this product, but it’s also great for teens. Why it’s a great gift: A great addition to a game of white elephant, this Doritos case will protect their technology and put a smile on their face. Buyers are saying: Ryan P was a big fan of these. “Came out exactly how it looked in the photos, was easy to put on, sturdy, there’s nothing I don’t like about this case.”SEE IT: $8.69 at Amazon.com Cool Coasters Making coasters cool can be hard, but it’s a little easier with these vinyl record ones. They come in a pack of six and feature an anti-slip design to make sure your table stays dry and your drinks stay in place. Who it’s best for: Music lovers will adore these and your water-ring-hating roommates will love them even more.Why it’s a great gift: The unique design of these coasters makes them a great white elephant gift. Everyone needs a stack of coasters near their coffee table, but these offer a cool take on a necessity. Buyers are saying: Ian L. has bought these three times, saying “they have been perfect. Quality is great, price is fantastic, well worth getting people!” SEE IT: $6.99 at Amazon.com Mindful JournalingThe “Self-Care: A Day and Night Reflection Journal” offers a space to practice mindfulness and develop healthy habits. Cultivate a positive perspective and reflect on personal challenges through guided practices. Who it’s best for: This journal is the perfect companion for an intentional morning or evening ritual. Why it’s a great gift: Both teens and adults can enjoy this journal, which makes it a superior white elephant gift. It’s introspective and engaging. Buyers are saying: Charley T. says it’s “just as described and exactly what I wanted. Lovely reflection journal and great quality for the price.” SEE IT: $12.49 at Amazon.com Hit the Lights Color-changing LED lights went viral on Tik Tok at the beginning of the pandemic. These ones have a dimmer and a 44-key remote control that supports 20 colors and 8 light modes. Who it’s best for: Your children will thank you for this modern and funky way of spicing up their room. Why it’s a great gift: As a white elephant gift, these LED strip lights are awesome because they can be used all holiday long on certain color settings to set the mood, or all year round to keep a mellow vibe in the house. Buyers are saying: Julia F. says that “these are GREAT for the price. Really easy to install.” SEE IT: $16.99 at Amazon.com Giving Taco Tuesday a Whole New Meaning As far as blankets go, this tortilla wrap blanket is as hilarious as they come. It features a realistic tortilla print on a high-quality flannel fabric. Who it’s best for: This gift is irresistibly cute and also a great source of fun as you can wrap your friends and family up like burritos! Kid and adult approved. Why it’s a great gift: It’ll keep you warm all winter long and will definitely be the highlight of the party. Unwrapping it may feel confusing at first, which adds to the suspense. Buyers are saying: Amber D. agrees with us saying that her family likes to “roll up like burritos. Perfect blanket for this.” $16.99 at Amazon.com What the Neck? Most people who work a desk job know what back and neck pain feels like. It’s hard not to hunch and develop a shrimp-like posture. This neck and shoulder relaxer can help relieve neck pain in just 10 minutes a day. Who it’s best for: Any office worker or individual who suffers from stiffness in their upper body would be lucky to find this under their tree. Why it’s a great gift: This product can literally be life-changing. Don’t be surprised if people steal it more than once during the gift exchange. Buyers are saying: Jenn B. says that “this one item has done more for me in 10 minutes than any amount of yoga, exercise, weight loss, physiotherapy, massage, medication… you name it, ever could.” $20.99 at Amazon.com Bathroom Golf SetThis bathroom golf set includes one putter, two golf balls, a golf hole with a flag, and a putting green. It’s a gag gift that allows anyone to enjoy their favorite game of golf while spending time in the bathroom. Who it’s best for: Golf lovers obsessed with improving their game. Why it’s a great gift: The bathroom golf set is a perfect white elephant gift as it’s small enough to fit in an office, bathroom, or bedroom. It’s portable, easy to play, and tons of fun. Buyers are saying: Catherine Mary F. says that it’s a “fun gift for dad while he’s sitting there anyway.”SEE IT: $16.95 at Amazon.com Elephant Desk Accessory This elephant desk accessory can hold your phone and office supplies. The crook of the nose coddles your device while the pencil holder in the back can store pens, pencils, scissors, and more. It’s made from a high-quality resin that’s non-toxic and eco-friendly. Who it’s best for: This is a great addition to anyone’s workspace. Why it’s a great gift: Very on-brand, this elephant accessory is a solid white elephant gift. It can be a fun addition to a kid’s desk at home or a multipurpose storage option for a professional. Buyers are saying: Whitney P. says it’s “large/heavy enough to support my Galaxy S8+ case.”SEE IT: $16.99 at Amazon.com You Can Delete Tinder Now“Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find - and Keep – Love” by Amir Levine and Rachel S.F. Heller is a book that may just revolutionize someone’s love life. Who it’s best for: A relevant and smart take on dating, this book is perfect for your single friends or family members. Why it’s a great gift: This makes for an insightful white elephant gift as it can help both singles and those in committed relationships. Buyers are saying: Sieran L. goes as far as to say that “this is far more insightful than what I learned in my psych courses on attachment theory. I loved this book very much, thus the five stars.”SEE IT: $13.58 at Amazon.com Grapefruit Scented Candle Candle lovers unite. Mia’s Co. candles are made of 100% soy wax and hand-crafted in California. With long-lasting burning and cotton wicks, these candles will provide stress relief and cozy vibes. Who it’s best for: These candles will please any Target addicts or bath lovers and their scent is on point. Why it’s a great gift: Candles are always a good white elephant gift because, well, who doesn’t love to burn a candle after cleaning their house on a rainy Sunday?Buyers are saying: If you don’t believe the claims of long-lasting burning, just listen to Michael L. who says that they “burn for so long you’re saving money, they smell great and it’s very aesthetic.”SEE IT: $18.95 at Amazon.com Listen on the RunThis Bluetooth beanie with built-in headphones is a game changer. It’s a little over budget, but the double-knit material will keep its wearer warm while providing them with powerful HD speakers with crisp sound. Who it’s best for: Perfect for avid runners who like to complete their daily miles outside even in the colder months. Why it’s a great gift: This double-duty gift is not the type of thing people would think to get for themselves – but they’ll wonder how they lived without it once they try it. Buyers are saying: Rosa R. says it’s a “decent product at a good price. It is definitely something I will use a lot in the coming cold months.” SEE IT: $27.91 at Amazon.com “Let me Check my Schedule” The Simple Elephant planner helps you organize your life. It features a mind map and vision board as well as a great layout to help you achieve your daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly goals. Inspire anyone around you to increase their productivity, improve their organization skills and track important events. Who it’s best for: Gift this to your slightly scattered friends to send a cheeky message that it’s time to stay on track! Why it’s a great gift: A great on-theme white elephant gift, this planner is uber useful, too. It’s an all-in-one place to write down important notes as well as practice gratitude, future planning, budgeting and much more. Buyers are saying: Becky B. confirms that “it has space for personal goals and a good old vision board. Really easy to use and wonderful to get organized.”SEE IT: $9.83 at Amazon.com More in Holiday Gifting:The Best Christmas Gifts for Co-Workers30 Practical Gifts that Will Make Anyone's Life a Little Easier The Ultimate Guide to Meaningful Stocking Stuffers That You Can Buy on AmazonGifts for Executives and Aspiring CEOsThe Best Gifts for TravelersGoalcast may receive a portion of revenue if you click a link in this article and buy a service or product. The links are independently placed by our Commerce team and do not influence editorial content.

How to Tell Your Friend They Have a Toxic Boyfriend - And What to Do Next
Dating

How to Tell Your Friend They Have a Toxic Boyfriend - And What to Do Next

A true friend is someone who doesn’t tell you what you want to hear, but tells you what you need to hear. This is especially true when it may be the exact opposite of what you want to accept. And when the reality is the fact that your partner is bad for you, you need to hear the facts, and you need to act on them.But what about those times when you’re not the one who needs advice, but you’re the friend who needs to share the hard truth? RELATED: 7 Deep Questions Every Woman Must Ask Her Romantic Partner – And What The Answers MeanIf your friend has a toxic boyfriend, they may not be able to see their own situation clearly. It may fall to you to help them see his many flaws so that they can make their own decision to exit the partnership.But telling your friend that their partner is toxic takes a bit of finesse no matter how well-meaning you are, because if you do it wrong, you may instead push them away, and push them ever farther into his toxic embrace.What Is a Toxic Person? And How Does Toxicity Manifest?(Unsplash)According to WebMD, a “toxic person is anyone whose behavior adds negativity and upset to your life… They [tend to] act in ways that don't present them in the best light and usually upset others along the way.”To be clear, “toxic” is not an official term like “sociopath” and “narcissist,” and it’s not even a term that can be applied universally to a given person. In other words, a person may be toxic to some people but a perfectly good friend or partner to others; the toxicity comes into play when it manifests in a given relationship.RELATED: The 5 Love Languages, How Do You Speak Them – And Which One Is Right for You?The signs of toxicity to look for include manipulation, a lack of comfort in one’s own skin when the toxic person is around, a diminished sense of self-worth and pride caused by the toxic party, and a constant feeling like the person needs to make excuses for themselves and their partner.In short, a toxic boyfriend is someone is just no good for your friend; he doesn’t bring out the best in her (and may even bring out the worst) and never seems to have her best interests at heart. A toxic partner is self-centered rather than focused on an equal relationship, and he may feel and demonstrate a sense of entitlement, acting as if he is owed something merely for existing. But these negative traits may be hard for her to see from within the partnership, so don’t be surprised if she is surprised and defensive when you bring up the topic.How to Tell Your Friend Her Significant Other Is ToxicYes, there is a concern you are going to seem like a nosey person who is overstepping his or her bounds when you tell your friend you think her partner is toxic. Yes, it may be awkward and painful and ugly – at least for a while. If you truly believe your friend is in a bad place with her boyfriend, though, she’ll see your heart through the hurt sooner or later. So go for it.First, make it clear you are coming from a caring place and not a judging place, and make it clear you are giving thoughts and advice, not orders. And when possible, make use of the Socratic Method, asking questions that will lead your friend toward making the conclusions herself. Ask her how she feels about the relationship, ask her if she feels as safe and connected and free as she thinks someone should. Ask her if she has noticed any traits about her boyfriend that worry her.And then, depending on how she answers, you can frame your critiques of him as questions. Think: “Does he ever convince you to do things you don’t really want to?” or “Do you feel like you have to apologize to him a lot even though you’re not really sure why?” or “Are you as comfortable around him as you are around me and your other friends and family?”By asking questions rather than making comments (also known as criticizing) you are less likely to push your friend away and more likely to help her see the truth of the situation. That way, she will have come to her own conclusions which will make her more likely to act on them and less likely to lose her resolve.Just be ready to back down if she pushes back hard – it’s better to stay friends and try again later than to push too hard and lose your friendship.KEEP READING:Why Handling Reactivity Is Essential For Healthy Romance

Friends and Benefits: Everything You Need to Know About Platonic Relationships
Friends

Friends and Benefits: Everything You Need to Know About Platonic Relationships

There are many types of relationships you can have over the course of your life. These unique bonds bring something different. Your relationships with your family members, friends and romantic partners can each present layers and textures to your day-to-day existence.Some of these people will be the ones you ask questions. Others are the ones who will there for you (like Phoebe and Joey from Friends) when you want to celebrate. All of these relationships are important to your life. One of the more misunderstood types of relationships is the platonic friendship — also called platonic love. These have been largely characterized as bonds between heterosexuals who love each other but are not in love. The definition should be widened to include the LGBTQ community.To give a more inclusive overview, these platonic friendships are between two people who could couple up. But instead they decide to maintain a non-romantic bond. Does that sound a little unrealistic? Maybe to some people. But if you're interested in what a healthy platonic life partnerships are like, and what the benefits are, just keep reading. What Is a Platonic Relationship?​​Platonic love has its roots in ancient Greek philosophy. You may have made the connection, but the origin of the word comes from the famous philosopher Plato, who outlined categories of love in his text, Symposium.RELATED: You're Having Terrible Sex - But One Thing Could HelpAlthough Plato didn’t use that particular word in his work, he did define what we now consider platonic relationships. In Symposium, he said that love based on physical attraction and sexual intimacy is romantic love. But love that’s more intellectually or spiritually based — with no romantic feelings — is what we call platonic love today. Platonic LovePlatonic love occurs when two people have a bond in which they deeply care for each other and share mutual respect for the other's well being. They lean on each other, and share similar interests and values. However, they don’t pursue things romantically. You can experience platonic love at first sight if you’re drawn to someone instantly because you share a passion for an activity or subject. But love in the romantic sense just isn’t part of the equation. (At least not intentionally, more on this later.) This concept may be hard to grasp for people who don’t have this kind of relationship in their lives — and for good reason. We constantly hear about non-sexual friendships in will they or won’t they terms. As if romance is inevitable between any two people who could theoretically be sexually attracted to each other. There’s a stigma around what types of friendships are acceptable, and which ones are headed for disaster (or toward the bedroom). There’s No Such Thing as 'Platonic Lovers'Platonic love is not friends with benefits or hooking up. In fact, there can’t be a sexual aspect to the relationship. Platonic lovers just aren’t a thing. Because there are no romantic feelings a platonic friendship, unrequited love or affections from one person would also disqualify a relationship from being platonic. Examples of Platonic LoveTo better understand the differences between platonic and romantic relationships, here are two of the most common examples: Bromance or Womance These terms describe close, affectionate, non-sexual bonds between two men or two women. Think of bromances and womances like next-level friendships, these pairings are definitely in BFF territory. They love each other, but they aren’t in love with each other. Work Spouse "Work spouses" are coworkers who are so close, they rely on each other the way they would a romantic partner. Except, there's no romance. They might run errands for each other, attend events together, and hang out together outside of the office. They are also known for sticking up for each other (and covering for each other) in the office. Can You Have a Platonic Relationship and a Romantic Partner?In a word, yes. However, it’s important to understand that your romantic partner may need you to set clear boundaries with your platonic friend in order to feel comfortable. (And only you know how okay you are with this.)Some romantic partners may feel threatened by the idea of you having someone in your life who is so close to you, even if there are no romantic or sexual desire between you and your friend. Depending on the person you’re romantically involved with, they might believe that your relationship with them needs to come first, before your platonic love. Romantic relationships can be tricky—jealousy can be a factor even in the most secure of bonds. The Rules for a Healthy Platonic Friendship So what to do about this? Talk to your friend and your romantic partner, separately, about their needs and fears about the other major relationship in your life. You might be surprised about what you discover in an honest discussion with each of these important people. Remind them that your relationships with each person are not in competition—they aren’t comparable because they are completely different from each other. Discuss how much time you expect to spend with each of them and what behaviors and activities won’t work moving forward. For instance, if you talked on the phone with your friend every night until you went to sleep, your romantic partner may not feel comfortable with this, especially if you two decide to move in together down the road. Or, if you’ve shared a bed with your friend every now and then in a completely non-sexual way, your partner may not feel comfortable with this happening now that you’re in a committed relationship. Talking through these habits and scenarios when things with your romantic partner start getting serious will help you avoid tricky situations, trust issues and jealousy down the road.Finally, you have to determine how much you need or want to pull back from your platonic relationship now that you’re in a romantic relationship. While these bonds are very different, they do have some shared qualities: typically, your romantic partner is the person you’d confide in, share good news with first, lean on when you’re having a tough day and so on.Benefits of Platonic RelationshipsHaving a platonic relationship means that you have someone in your corner who you can trust, who has your back and who brings you joy, but who isn’t necessarily engaged with you in a sexual relationship. Here are just some of the benefits of fostering this kind of bond:Feeling Closeness Without the Pressure Talk about (hashtag) relationship goals. In a platonic relationship, you don’t need to worry about where things are going or if the other person is on the same page as you. You can maintain closeness with each other in a low-stakes way. You’re not thinking about the next step or where your relationship will be in a year. You’re getting the perks of a romantic relationship as far as emotional intimacy goes and none of the drawbacks. Getting a Unique Perspective If your platonic friend is of a different sex, gender or gender identity that you are, you’re able to reap the benefits of looking at a given situation (and the world) from their point of view. This can be helpful when navigating a tough situation at work, when you’re dating and trying to pinpoint red flags or whenever you just need another set of eyes and ears on your current life circumstances. Having Someone to Confide InA platonic relationship comes with the major benefit of being able to spill your secrets, deepest fears and unpopular opinions without worrying about judgement, retribution or word getting out. Having a confidant is one of the most significant perks of a deep, trusting friendship. Maintaining a Relationship with Boundaries Practicing setting and respecting boundaries is an essential life skill. Luckily, a platonic relationship allows you to do this all the time. Since you and your friend are committed to remaining just friends, you both uphold the boundary of no romance or sex, giving each other the freedom to just be with each other without wondering what if. This is also good practice for setting boundaries with other people, from family members to acquaintances. Not Having to Keep Up Appearances or Impress the Person When you’re in a romantic relationship, there’s usually a tendency, especially in the beginning, to try to impress the other person. You put on your makeup, do your hair, don the cutest outfits. You might defer to them about what to do on a date or feign enthusiasm for activities they enjoy. All of this is a little exhausting, to say the least. In a platonic relationship, you can just be you because the stakes just aren’t as high. By using your platonic relationship as practice for showing off the real you, you could actually find more authentic connections with potential romantic partners as a result.Being Able to Have an Honest Connection Platonic love isn’t about setting your feelings aside and putting your friend’s feelings first. It’s not about putting up a facade. These friendships thrive on honesty and clear communication. While you never want to be so brutally honest that you come off as mean or thoughtless, not having to hold back your feelings can be a relief for many people. Fighting Without Drama In a romantic relationship, conflict can be scary. (Because what if one big fight can lead to a breakup?) In a platonic relationship, you’re going to get annoyed with each other or have words about a given topic or situation. But what happens? You get mad, maybe you stop talking for a few days and then you work things out. It’s just not that big of a deal. Never Having to Wonder About the Status of Your RelationshipWith platonic love, your relationship is steady. Yes, you can get closer or drift apart here and there but your bond is not on some kind of trajectory with the end point being either marriage or breaking up. You don’t have to waste brain energy wondering where your relationship is going. It just is. What if a Platonic Relationship Turns Romantic?Of course, there is the potential for sexual attraction to develop, and for a friendship to turn into something more. These things are bound to happen between some platonic pairs. We’re all only human, right? Maybe something happened to make you see your friend in a new light. Or perhaps you were feeling lonely and decided to engage in some physical intimacy with each other. Maybe your feelings grew over time. It’s not unheard of for emotional support to turn into romantic interest from a formerly non-sexual relationship. RELATED: Do You Have These Desired Friendship Traits?Here’s what to do about it: Since you know your friend so well, clearly you’re going to feel a vibe if things are getting more than friendly between you. The best thing to do is get those feelings out in the open—ASAP!—before something physical happens because it’s harder to have a conversation if you’re in the throes of lust, or if things get weird. RELATED: 7 Deep Questions Every Woman Must Ask Her Romantic Partner – And What The Answers MeanHaving a talk about what you’re feeling may be a little scary since you may not totally know if your friend feels the same way but once you sense that the relationship is changing it’s hard to have things go back to the way they were before.Working together to talk about your feelings and what they mean will inevitably bring you two even closer together. You may decide that you don’t want to pursue things romantically, even if you’re feeling some love-like feelings. Or you may choose to turn your friendship into a romance. Trying to get on the same page before feelings progress is the best way to avoid having one person feel in love and the other decidedly not feeling it. Platonic Love Has No ExpectationsPlatonic relationships can still be highly misunderstood. Unless you’ve experienced these types of bonds for yourself it can be hard to grasp the idea of completely non-romantic personal relationships between two people who could theoretically be involved.RELATED: How to Tell Your Friend They Have a Toxic Boyfriend – And What to Do NextBut, honestly, that’s kind of society’s problem. The narrative many of us have been taught is that men and women can’t be friends. And, to include gay and non-binary people as well, there’s an assumption that it’s not possible to be completely platonic with anyone you would potentially identify as a love match for you. If we can unlearn these lessons about love and friendship, we can open ourselves up to some pretty wonderful relationships. Platonic bonds are super special because they don’t ask much of the people involved except to simply be themselves—and to be good friends to each other. There are no expectations of needing to check all the boxes on the other person’s wishlist, the way there is with romantic partners, and no need to show off the best version of yourself in order to impress the other person. With platonic relationships, people can be free to love deeply without all the romantic baggage. It’s time to cherish these bonds and seek them out!

You’re Making Friends Wrong - Here’s How To Make Good Friends
Friends

You’re Making Friends Wrong - Here’s How To Make Good Friends

Sometimes, as adults, we may find ourselves wishing we had more quality friends. But making friends can be easier said than done. Quite a few people wonder where exactly an adult can even find a new friendship and how to go about building these relationships. How do you even know if someone would be interested in being friends with you? And shouldn’t you already have lots of friends to call anyway? You might wonder if there's something wrong with you if you don’t already have a best friend.It’s easy to feel overwhelmed by this process and forget that making a true friend is actually a pretty simple, accessible task. That said, it’s very understandable and common to get discouraged, sad, or embarrassed if you don’t feel like you have best friends or more more adult friendships. Especially as in every TV show, movie, and social media feed you’ll typically see endless depictions of best pals and super close friendship groups, longtime friends, fair weather friends, people with mutual friends, or others who can make friends fast and effortlessly. RELATED: What Does It Mean to Be In a Romantic Friendship?As an adult, friends are often already established, so it’s natural to wonder why you don’t have that too—or to miss the friendships you may have had in the past. You might wish you felt closer to the friends you have or crave new meetup groups. Or you might want new friends who share certain interests with you or who live or work where you do. And even if you already have tons of friends, you might just be looking to make more.The good news is that everyone can hone their friendship skills and become adept at making friends at all stages of life. It’s never too late to make more friends or to become the type of person that picks up friends wherever they go. In this comprehensive guide to making friends, we offer tips and tricks on how to make friends, where to find them, and how to keep them. How To Make Friends(Photo by Katie Treadway on Unsplash)Kids learn to make friends as early as toddlerhood as a part of their socio-emotional development. From there, kids (and adults) seem prone to pair or group up into various friendships that may last days, months, years, or lifetimes. But while most of us have had a range of friendships by the time we reach adulthood, that doesn’t mean making new friends is always easy.How to make friends may seem like something everyone should already know how to do. But in actuality, it can be an even more intimidating, uncomfortable, or unsettling process as an adult simply because there aren’t always as many natural avenues available for meeting new people. For kids, they are often in proximity to lots of other kids, such as at daycare, school, sports teams, and other clubs or events. Combine regular exposure to other kids alongside shared interests, activities, and routines, and you’ve got a recipe for developing friendships. And most kids have tons of time for lots of friends— this is not true for most adults.RELATED: 135 Friendship Quotes: Best Friend Quotes That Show the True Meaning of FriendshipOften, it’s harder to meet other adults to be friends with, simply because we’re a bit out of practice in looking for friends. And the complexities of modern adult life can make finding them even more challenging. We all have our routines, responsibilities, and habits, and finding new friends requires stepping out of those patterns. Some adults already have a trove of friends and aren’t looking for new ones. Other adults are super busy and don’t have the time or inclination to pursue new relationships. But that doesn’t mean there aren't other adults out there open to making new friends. It just might take a bit more effort—and a refresher on making friends.Why Friends Are Important(Photo by Chang Duong on Unsplash)Research shows that people with a fulfilling social life and solid friendships are happier, healthier, and live longer. Friends offer an antidote to loneliness, a buffer to feeling low, and are great stress-relievers. Simply talking out your problems with a friend or having a laugh together can help to improve your well being. Friends stick by you in times of trouble, are there to cheer you on, and cheer you up. Plus, having friends means more social time, which likely means more fun. What Are the Different Types Of Friends?There are many different types of friends. There are work friends, school friends, childhood friends, neighborhood friends, hobby friends, and so on. The good news in this is that you can pretty much find potential friends in all types of scenarios and for all types of purposes. For example, you might want to find a friend to go to karaoke night with, friends to train for triathlons with, or someone who loves classic cinema, sushi, hiking, spa trips, or bowling as much as you do. Whatever it is, you can likely make a friend to fit that bill.Essentially, you can make friends to fit all the different sides of your personality, interests, and parts of your life. Additionally, you can make friends who are totally different from you, who expose you to all kinds of new things, ideas, and ways of living. RELATED: Selfless 5-Year-Old Gives All Her Saved Money To Friend In Need – Receives An Unexpected RewardThat’s really fun and beneficial, too. And being open to meeting different types of people, sets you up for making new friends wherever you go.Plus, you can have friends with different levels of closeness. Some friendships are long-lasting, some more short-lived. Some are intense and deeply bonded, others are much more casual or surface level. Some are very situational, as in work buddies, the guy who lives across the hall, or the pals you make in your ukulele, tamale-making, or knitting classes. Some friendships come in groups, while others are more one-on-one. Having many different types of friendships can be very fulfilling, giving you lots of people to choose from to talk to, get support from, and socialize with. It’s really up to you how many and what type of friendships to pursue, but knowing that there are so many different kinds can help you open your eyes to the many different potential pals that are all around you.How Many Friends Do You Need?(Photo by Courtney Cook on Unsplash)Some people will want a robust roster of buddies, while others may want (or need) only a select few friends. There is no right or wrong, or magic number of friends to have. Different people may thrive with dozens of friends in their life, while others would feel overwhelmed with so many. Some people might want lots of casual friendships and just one or two close pals—or vice versa. And the number of friends you need or want may fluctuate throughout your life.Really, it’s about the time and energy you have available and how social you want to be. Some people really need a lot of alone time or time with just one or two friends—and that’s perfectly okay. The point is to seek out the friendships you want or need in your life, whatever number that is.How Do I Know If Someone Will Be A Good Friend?Generally, lots of different types of people could become great new friends. But good signs that someone is likely to be a good match for you include if they are warm, friendly, and listen to you. Are they considerate and respectful? Do they show an interest in you and care about your feelings? Do you share interests or hobbies? And ultimately, do you enjoy spending time with them and talking to them?RELATED: Inspirational Winnie the Pooh Quotes About Life & FriendshipYou can suss out if you and a potential friend might be well-suited for friendship by simply talking to them, too. Questions to ask people to help you get to them include asking them about their passions, how they spend their time, what music or shows they like, their favorite foods, and where they’d like to go on vacation.Remember, you don’t need to align perfectly or even at all. Friends with totally different interests and backgrounds can be just as great as ones that share your passions and life history. The key is to notice if you like hanging out with this person. Do you feel comfortable talking to them? Do they make you feel supported and valued? And most importantly, are you happy to see them, and do you laugh and have fun when you’re together.Why Do I Struggle To Make Good Friends?(Photo by Andrew Neel on Unsplash)Some people seem to make friends effortlessly wherever they go. For others, it’s more of a struggle. Most people are somewhere in between—and it’s very normal to feel a bit uncomfortable or awkward when making the first move to make a friend. It’s hard to put yourself out there. And it can be hard to expose yourself to potential rejection.On the flip side, it’s brave to seek out friends anyway despite any discomfort you may feel. RELATED: The Truth Behind Will Smith and Mariah Carey’s Unexpected FriendshipIf you are introverted or have social anxiety, looking for new pals can feel intimidating or overwhelming, but that doesn’t mean that you can't go for it anyway. It may help to realize that most people feel a bit unsure when talking to new people. And while you might think they would reach out to you if they wanted to be your buddy, they might be thinking the same. So, next time, encourage yourself to go for it. Even if you feel a bit awkward at first, the payoff could be a new friend.What Skills Are Important For Making True Friends?(Photo by christian buehner on Unsplash)You don’t need to do anything special to make a friend. All it takes is reaching out and talking to another person. Then, ask them to do something together or accept their invitation to hang out. Or you can simply put yourself in places and situations where friendships can naturally develop, such as by joining a swimming class, bowling league, or book club. But there are some friendship skills you can work on that will facilitate talking to and making new friends. These skills include communication skills, emotional regulation, stress coping strategies, and general social skills. RELATED: Toxic Friends: 6 Signs of a Toxic Friendship, and When To Call It QuitsGood communicators pay attention to other people’s signals.They ask questions, and listen to the other person. In fact, active listening is key, as people notice if your attention is on them and if you are truly interested in what they have to say.Being a good friend is also essential. Traits of great friends include being reliable, communicating honestly, respecting others’ privacy, being available and happy to help when someone needs support, and regularly spending time together. Not gossiping or bullying others is key, too.Where To Make New Friends As An Adult(Photo by Aleksandra Sapozhnikova on Unsplash)You can find friends really wherever you go. If there are other people around, then there is the potential to make a friend. If you are friendly to others, a simple hello can lead to friendship whether you’re on a bus ride, in line at the grocery store, or walking your dog around the block. Sometimes, friendships can seem to find you. However, you can specifically put yourself in places that will provide even more opportunities for finding friends.Join a groupThink about what you like to do—or would like to start doing. Then, look up possible groups, clubs, or activities related to that interest. Then sign yourself up. Take a class or workshopWhether it’s a comedy, cooking, Spanish, or sewing class, you’ll find a group of like-minded people who could soon become your new friends.VolunteerIs there a cause you’re passionate about? Sign up to volunteer for the effort and you’re likely to find possible friends among your compatriots.Tap into your existing networkTake a look at your existing contacts, work colleagues, and acquaintances. Is there someone in your existing network who you might want to become friends with? If so, simply, send a text or ask them to go get coffee or on some other outing. Feel out the waters to see if they might be interested in pursuing a friendship, too.RELATED: Former Neo-Nazi Forms Unlikely Friendship With Parole Officer – Is Inspired To Remove Hateful TattoosAlternatively, you can ask people in your network to help connect you with possible new friends. Think about the type of pals you’re looking for—from a cinema buff to a biking fiend—then ask for suggestions of possible new friends.Making conversation in personA great way to make friends is to chat people up wherever you may be. From the subway to the lunchroom, you’re likely to make friends just by saying hello, and starting to ask questions.How To Make Friends In New Situations(Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash)If you’ve moved to a new city, it can feel lonely if you don’t already have many (or any) pals. But the good news is that most people like to help out people who are new in town. They are more likely to invite you to activities or offer to hang out if they know you’ve just moved. So, use that goodwill by letting people know you just moved and saying yes to any offers that come your way. Reach out to anyone you know who might know someone in your new hometown, too.How to make friends in collegeIf you’re in school, chat up people in your classes, in your dorm, or in any extracurricular activities you participate in. Typically, there are lots of opportunities to meet other students, from on the quad to in the dining hall. Join clubs, study groups, and other school-based activities where you might meet potential friends. Vary where you sit so that you can have an opportunity to meet more people.How to make friends at your jobYour workplace is often a great place to make friends, too. Being in the same field and office automatically gives you a connection and something to talk about. RELATED: How Rihanna & A$AP Rocky Proved Friendship Is Essential to RomanceMake an effort to introduce yourself to people at work that you don’t know and make small talk with those that you do. Ask people questions, like where they like to get lunch or go for happy hour—then, suggest going there together.How to reconnect with old friendsFriends you’ve lost touch with can also provide a wellspring of pals to hangout with today. Think about the people from your past that you’ve lost touch with. Skip rekindling the friendships that ended with animosity. Instead, reach out to the ones that you enjoyed hanging out with but just happened to drift apart from. A simple text to an old friend can be enough to restart a friendship.Making Friends: Dos And Don’ts(Photo by Jamie Brown on Unsplash)There are no strict rules for making friends. But there are some general do’s and don’ts that may make the process go smoother.Follow your instinctsIt can help to follow your instincts. If you get a sense that you’ll connect with someone, then take a chance on talking to them. If you have a feeling they aren’t interested—or if you decide you aren’t—then move on to someone else. SmileWhen you want to make a friend, it helps to look and be approachable. This includes smiling, having open body language, and generally being friendly. Aim to put yourself in a place where you have a chance to interact with others. Then, smile, say, hi, and start a conversation.Make eye contactLooking someone in the eye lets them know that you are paying attention to them. It shows interest, confidence, and connection.Make the first moveIf conversation is flowing, don’t be afraid to ask the person to hang out. Making the first move can feel a little scary, and sure, they might say, no thanks. But they also might say, yes. ShareOne key way to make buddies is to open yourself to others. Ask potential pals about themselves but also talk about yourself. Share your personality, interests, and questions. In order to make friends, you need to let others in and be willing to expose your feelings and inner self.Assume people like youWhen you’re on the hunt for friends, it can be easy to feel discouraged and think no one will want you as a friend. RELATED: A Goal Setting Guide For DepressionWhen you feel that way, decide to give yourself a break instead. Remind yourself that you have a lot to offer potential pals. Assume people like you—because they do! Be open-mindedDon’t limit who you might consider for a potential friend. Just like you want people to give you a chance, give others a chance, too. Don’t make judgments about people before getting to know them. Open your heartLet yourself be vulnerable, be yourself, and listen to your new potential friends. Giving others your attention and opening your heart to them, makes others feel important and lets them know you want to be their friend.Think positive thoughts about making new friends and you’ll manifest what you’re hoping for.How to get friends using technologySocial media is a great place to make friends. You can meet people from the security of your phone. Many apps out there offer ways to connect with people either through messaging or by directly matching you up, as in dating apps for friendship.How To Maintain Friendships(Photo by Dylan Ferreira on Unsplash)Remember that once you’ve made some friends, you’ll want to keep them. Maintaining your friendships is similar to making them. Giving your friends your time, attention, and honesty helps you keep them.Remember that most people are open to meeting new pals. Some people will reach out to you, others may need you to make the first gesture. If you encounter someone who responds to your overtures with coldness, don’t take it personally. Their disinterest or rudeness rarely has anything to do with you. Ultimately, it’s their loss. And really, it’s instructive as it just tells you to move on to the next person. Key takeawaysMaking friends can feel intimidating at times, but the process can also be exciting and fulfilling. Aim to just let go of your worries, self doubt, and embarrassment. No matter whether you are outgoing or shy, believing in yourself—and that you make a good friend—goes a long way. Start with a smile, a friendship attitude, and an open heart. Focusing on the fun of it can help nudge you along to finding the friendships you desire.KEEP READING:Crystals for Love: Understand How to Use Them, Their Meanings and Impact

The 9 Best Things to Text or Say to Help Jump-Start Someone’s Day
Friends

The 9 Best Things to Text or Say to Help Jump-Start Someone’s Day

It’s common to think of our loved ones and friends throughout the day. But we don’t always reach out, even if they’re standing right in front of us or a click away on our phones. We might think they already know that we think they’re awesome. And that we believe in them. We might think if we don’t have time for a full conversation or meet up that we should just wait to connect with them. Or we might assume they are busy and won’t want to hear our thoughts. But that’s usually not right, at all. Most often, people would be thrilled to hear from you, especially if you are sharing an encouraging sentiment. Even if it’s something they’re sure to already know, such as I love you, you are an inspiration, or you can do this. Just reaching out is meaningful.The bottom line is to never underestimate how much a few kind words can do for someone else. With that in mind, here are the 9 best things to text or say to jump-start someone’s day.What to Say or Text to Brighten Someone’s DayTaking the time to send that text or social media message or have a brief conversation can truly transform someone’s day. A few words (or even an image) can put a smile on their face, help them revive their spirit, and feel less alone, more seen, and more loved. Regardless of the specific situation or what you say or text, just letting them know they’re on our minds, can be powerful. State the obvious(Getty)This all depends on the intended recipient, but stating the obvious can be very affirming. This might mean simply saying or texting, “I love you,” “I believe in you,” “You’re a great friend,” “You make my day brighter,” “You’re an inspiration,” “You are funny,” “You’re a great mom,” “You’re the best dad,” or whatever else makes sense for your relationship. Typing out these words or saying them out loud can be very heartwarming, even if the person already knows how you feel. On the other hand, as obvious as it may seem to you, they might not really know for sure. So, texting or saying the words erases any doubt of your true feelings. You can also send emojis, gifs, or photos that capture the sentiment you want to share. Pass on wishesShare your wishes for them. Again, this may seem obvious but that doesn’t mean it won’t put an extra skip in their steps. Possible examples include more general sentiments, like “I wish you a beautiful day” and “Have a productive day,” or more specific statements like “I wish you good luck on your exam,” “best of luck on your presentation,” or “I hope your date goes well.”The more specific you can be the better, but general well wishes also tend to be uplifting as well. Consider context, though, so that what you say is appropriate for your recipient and the level of relationship you have with them. If you have second thoughts about sending something, particularly if you worry it could be offensive or taken the wrong way, then choose something else to say. Give complimentsAlmost universally, compliments make people feel great. Examples include “Your hair looks great,” “You have a beautiful smile”, “I love your top,” “You are so funny,” “You’re super smart,” “You smell great,” or “You have great energy.” The key is to match the praise to something that makes sense for this person.Just be sure that you have the type of relationship where the specific compliment you give will come off as supportive, rather than creepy. Use caution as when said inappropriately these comments may be unwanted or upsetting, even if you have good intentions. So, if it’s your best friend, cousin, hook-up, or childhood friend, then praising someone’s looks or physical self is great, but if it’s an acquaintance, work colleague, or someone you don’t know intimately, steer clear of comments relating to the person’s physical appearance. Ask open-ended questionsInstead of asking about specific achievements or results, ask open-ended questions. That way you allow room for someone to be struggling. These types of questions also focus more on emotional well-being, reality, and experience rather than on just the end result. Let humor in as well.(Getty)Instead of “Did your job interview go well,” ask “How was your job interview?” More examples include “How is your day going?” “What's on your mind lately?” “What are you interested in exploring?” “How is everything going?” “How's your work going?” “What’s the last thing that made you laugh out loud?” or “Is there anything you want to talk about?” Focus on intentions Inspire by reminding your friend what they want focus on today. Help them see the bigger picture and the goals they want to go after. Ask questions like, “What are you hoping to achieve today?” “What are you focusing on right now?” “What makes you happy?” “What inspires you?” or “What have you learned lately?” You can also include yourself, such as asking “What fun thing could we learn or explore together?”Offer help or support or simply to listenBe a listening ear. Offer help in anyway you can. This type of comment is especially appreciated if someone is enduring hardship or struggling in some way. You can ask, “Is there anything I can help you with?” or “Do you want to meet up to talk?” You can also say affirming statements like “Know that I'm always in your corner” or “You will get through this and I am here whenever you need me.” Generally, asking “How is everything going” or saying something like “Let me know if I can do anything to support you” lets the person know you care and can be called on, if needed.Make plans Sometimes, just having a plan to meet up with a friend or family member is enough to boost someone’s spirits. Having something to look forward to makes the drudgery of life much more bearable. Also, not everyone is good at making plans and they very well might be waiting for you to set something up. So, take the initiative and say “Let’s meet for coffee,” “Want to go out for drinks, a hike, dinner, lunch, or to a movie,” or “Tell them to pick an activity and tell you where and when to meet them.”Share your thoughtsWhen they cross your mind let them know. This can be as simple as texting, “Thinking about you.” You can also be more specific, such as “I was listening to a song that reminded me of you,” “I had a dream about you,” “I am reading a book or watching a show I think you'd like,” or “You're on my mind because…” We might see, hear, smell, or think of something that reminds us of them. We might come across something applicable to their life, such as a podcast that they’ll think is hilarious, an event they might like to attend, a cafe they would love, a job opening that they’d be perfect for, or a cute bartender they might like to meet. Just knowing that someone we care about is thinking of us can feel really good. Emphasize the positives(Getty)We might know that someone we care about is working toward a goal, studying for an exam, vying for a promotion, or struggling with their mental health. Offer a text or comment that helps them feel more positive or motivated. Doing so can help remind them of what is going well in their life or simply that they have someone out there who is cheering them on. You could text something like “What’s one thing you want to accomplish today?” “What’s something you did yesterday you feel good about?” Or “It was really cool the way you made everyone feel so welcome when we had dinner the other night.” Or “I’m really inspired by what a creative thinker you are.” Whatever comes up for you when you think of this person’s strengths or a specific example of what they do well is a good place to start.Key Takeaways on Lifting Someone’s Spirits With a TextIt’s easy to feel that we can’t do much to help others, but in truth it’s pretty easy to lift someone else up, even just a little bit. Texting or telling someone in person a few thoughtful words can work wonders—and is the hallmark of being a great friend, coworker, and loved one. Sharing encouraging words, taking the time to text or spend time in person, and noticing if someone in your life may benefit from a kind word or two can have a huge impact on someone else—and it makes you feel good, too.

135 Friendship Quotes: Best Friend Quotes That Show the True Meaning of Friendship
Friends

135 Friendship Quotes: Best Friend Quotes That Show the True Meaning of Friendship

Even though we sometimes forget, having a best friend is truly a privilege, and should be counted among life’s greatest gifts. The sweet friendship you can receive from a bestie is rare. If you have one, they should be cherished!True friends are there through the best and the worst of times. They help us grow and when we do, they are genuinely happy for our successes. They lift us up when we’re feeling down, listen to our nonsense, and give us that figurative slap in the face before we make a terrible mistake.A loyal friend is like a guardian angel — the family you choose — and time and distance will never harm the bond you share. Sweet friendship refreshes our lives, and only your real friends always seem to know just the way to pick you up. So enjoy the sweet friendship quotes below, find the perfect friendship quote for your special someone, and send it to the person that deserves it the most!Best Friend Quotes: Sayings for a True Friend Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one - C.S. Lewis (more C.S. Lewis quotes)Friendship is the only cement that will ever hold the world together. - Woodrow T. Wilson(Hulton Archive / Stringer / Getty)A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out. - Walter WinchellWalking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light - Helen Keller (more Helen Keller quotes)You can always tell a real friend: when you’ve made a fool of yourself he doesn’t feel you’ve done a permanent job. - Laurence J. PeterDon’t walk in front of me; I may not follow. Don’t walk behind me; I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend. - Albert Camus (more Albert Camus quotes)A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down. - Arnold H. GlasgowTrue friendship comes when the silence between two people is comfortable. - David TysonLots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. - Oprah Winfrey (more Oprah Winfrey quotes)It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them - Ralph Waldo EmersonThere’s not a word yet for old friends who’ve just met. - Jim Henson(Ron Wolfson / Contributor / Getty)One measure of friendship consists not in the number of things friends can discuss, but in the number of things they need no longer mention. - Clifton FadimanA friend knows the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails. - Donna RobertsKeep away from those who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you believe that you too can become great. - Mark Twain (more Mark Twain quotes)Of all possessions a friend is the most precious. - HerodotusTrue friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity, before it is entitled to the appellation. - George WashingtonTis the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense, and to have her nonsense respected. - Charles LambAnybody can sympathize with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathize with a friend’s success. - Oscar Wilde (more Oscar Wilde quotes)The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart. - Elisabeth FoleyA true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked. - Bernard MeltzerReal friendship, like real poetry, is extremely rare – and precious as a pearl. - Tahar Ben JellounIf it’s very painful for you to criticize your friends — you’re safe in doing it. But if you take the slightest pleasure in it, that’s the time to hold your tongue. - Alice Duer MillerThe best time to make friends is before you need them. - Ethel BarrymoreMany people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart. - Eleanor Roosevelt (more Eleanor Roosevelt quotes)(Bettmann / Contributor / Getty)The love that comes from friendship is the underlying facet of a happy life. - Chelsea HandlerIf you live to be a hundred, I hope I live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you. - Winnie the Pooh (more Winnie the Pooh quotes)Friendship marks a life even more deeply than love. Love risks degenerating into obsession, friendship is never anything but sharing. - Elie WieselThere are three things that grow more precious with age; old wood to burn, old books to read, and old friends to enjoy. - Henry FordA friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same. - Elbert HubbardNever leave a friend behind. Friends are all we have to get us through this life—and they are the only things from this world that we could hope to see in the next. - Dean Koontz(Paul Harris / Contributor / Getty)They were beautiful shells, as white as the surf in the sea. When you held one up to your ear you could hear the sound of your best friend talking to you, even if she was a thousand miles away. - Alice HoffmanA true best friend may get you into trouble, but they will always be there to pull you out of it too. - Kaylee StepkoskiSea sisters, Susa had called them once. Two pearls formed in the same oyster. - Samantha ShannonWhen the best friends come together, the shining spirit of solidarity replaces the brightest star Sirius! - Mehmet Murat ildanBest friends are people hard to find, difficult to be, and impossible to live without. They are the people you get along with so easily in the journey called life. - Khushi ParwalThe difference between your friend and your best friend is that your friend asks, ‘Are you are ok?’ and your best friend asks, ‘Do you want to talk about it?’ - Savania ChinaSome acquaintances become friends, but again these come and go with only a few remaining consistent. However, occasionally you will meet someone that changes who you are and who you will become. - Emily WilliamsYou can’t hate your best friend for taking opportunities he’d been given. That would be the worst sort of hate, wouldn’t it? Because it would mean you hate yourself, too. - Craig DavidsonLife’s a battlefield, and we remain loyal to those who fight for us; those who’d die for us. - Crystal WoodsBest friends are those people who reveal to you what is wonderful inside of you, and you can all still laugh together. - Debasish MridhaWhat do you say to your best friend when you stand at the gates of the gates of hell? Nothing. If it’s your best friend, she already knows. - Eliza CreweShort Friendship Quotes for True FriendsSometimes we don’t need a lot of words to express our appreciation towards our closest friends. In some cases, all you need is a warm and tender hand to hold during difficulties. Undoubtedly, your actions will speak louder than any long, cheesy quote. Ten minutes with a genuine friend is better than years spent with anyone less. - Crystal WoodsA true best friend loves you even when it seems like you’ve gone off the deep end. - Liz FentonA friend is not the shadow that mimics you, but the one who casts all shadows away. - Shannon L. AlderThere is a reason why you are my best friend. Destiny. - Almira BastariLife was meant for good friends and great adventures. - UnknownAwards become corroded. Friends gather no dust. - Jesse Owens(Bettmann / Contributor / Getty)Just because I’m not there, doesn’t mean I’m not here for you. - Jacquelyn MiddletonFriendship is not something that you seek but something that finds you. - Mokokoma MokhonoanaThere are friends, there is family, and then there are friends that become family. - UnknownBe slow to fall into friendship; but when thou art in, continue firm & constant. - SocratesThere’s nothing like a really loyal, dependable, good friend. Nothing. - Jennifer Aniston (more Jennifer Aniston quotes)(Jemal Countess / Staff / GettyPThat was our friendship: equal parts irritation and cooperation. - Ransom RiggsThe best friends are made in childhood when we have no ulterior motives. - Tapan GhoshTrue friends are always together in spirit. - L.M. Montgomery (more Lucy Maud Montgomery quotes)It’s the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter. - Marlene Dietrich(Getty)Good friends are like stars. You don’t always see them, but you know they’re always there. - UnknownA good friend is like a four-leaf clover: hard to find and lucky to have. - Irish ProverbThere is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. - Jane Austen (more jane austen quotes)(Culture Club / Contributor / Getty)Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher. - Oprah WinfreyThe only way to have a friend is to be one. - Ralph Waldo EmersonFriends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer. - Ed CunninghamThere is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate. - Linda GraysonFriendship is the golden thread that ties the heart of all the world. - John EvelynRare as is true love, true friendship is rarer. - Jean de la FontaineCute and Sweet Quotes about FriendshipA good friend is someone that is like your chosen family. That friend is someone that makes such a beautiful impact in your life, you wouldn’t know what you would do without them. A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when you’re not necessarily funny, and a friend represents comfort in a tough world. The truly great friends are those that we can rely on, and who will not ask for anything in return.Anyone can have a friend, but the one that would walk in a storm to find you is all you will ever need. - Shannon L. AlderYou can count on me like one, two, three/ I’ll be there/ And I know when I need it, I can count on you like four, three, two/ And you’ll be there/ ‘Cause that’s what friends are supposed to do, oh, yeah! - Bruno Mars(Johnny Nunez / Contributor / Getty)Friends are a strange, volatile, contradictory, yet sticky phenomenon. They are made, crafted, shaped, molded, created by focused effort and intent. And yet, true friendship, once recognized, in its essence is effortless. - Vera NazarianThat was the thing about best friends. Like sisters and mothers, they could piss you off and make you cry and break your heart, but in the end, when the chips were down, they were there, making you laugh even in your darkest hours. - Kristen HannahBecause with true friends, no one is keeping score. But it still feels good to repay them – even in the tiniest increments. - Emery LordI was so sure we’d be together ten years from then, […], with the same bond as ever. We said lofty things like friends forever, that we’d be there at each other’s weddings, even though we were a thousand miles apart. - Lily SeabrookeSenses of humor define people, as factions, deeper rooted than religious or political opinions. When carrying out everyday tasks, opinions are rather easy to set aside, but those whom a person shares a sense of humor with are his closest friends. They are always there to make the biggest influence. - Criss JamiA good friend knows all your best stories. A best friend has lived them with you. - UnknownA true friend is one you can go extended periods without seeing or talking to, yet the moment that you are back in touch, it’s like no time has passed at all. - Ellie WadeNow she hesitated, wondering whether she dare do what she wanted… but surely, if they were best friends, it was all right? - Robert GalbraithTrue friends are like diamonds – bright, beautiful, valuable, and always in style. - Nicole Richie(Doug Benc / Staff / Getty)One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and to be understood. - SenecaWhat is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies. - Aristotle (more aristotle quotes)True friendship is trading photos from toilets. It’s a willingness to be vulnerable and stupid and irreverent in a way that other people can’t accept and that you can’t accept from other people. - Mike WehnerWe’ll be friends until we’re old and senile… and then we can be ‘new’ friends! - UnknownIn youth we learn; in age, we understand. - Marie von Ebner-EschenbachBest friends are the people you can do anything and nothing with and still have the best time. - UnknownYou guys are so much alike it’s scary. I mean, either you would’ve been best friends or you would’ve strangled each other. - Rick RiordanAnything is possible when you have the right people there to support you. - Misty Copeland(52nd NAACP Image Awards/BET / Contributor / Getty)Friendship isn’t a big thing. It’s a million little things. - UnknownFriends are people who know you really well and like you anyway. - UnknownBut it was in the nearly silent times that the real strength of their bond was evident. A friend who understands everything without being told is the rarest and best kind of friend. - William JoyceI don’t have a ton of good friends, but you’re one of the best. - Lindsey OuimetI really want us to grow old together, you know? Go through all the typical life stuff together, even if that means we can only e-mail each other once a week because you moved to the middle of nowhere in Nebraska with your ten kids, and I’m still California because it’s amazing. - Claire KannSometimes a friend is most important, for friends are always there to laugh, cry, travel, see, hide, and feel with the other person. They will always be there. That is the measure of a true person: being a friend. It’s so much more than you think. - Sophia Braun(John M. Heller / Contributor / Getty)Loyal friends have your back. And the ones that don’t, can watch you from behind. - Steven CuocoThe interesting thing I’ve learned about best friends is that you can have more than one. I have two. One I love with passion, the other I love with complete affection. - April WhiteSome might wonder that the two men should consider themselves to be old friends having only known each other for four years; but the tenure of friendships has never been governed by the passage of time. - Amor TowlesAnyone can become your best friend when you spend time together and share your feelings about life. However, not every best friend can free you from yourself. This is when you reconsider the word ‘best’ and decide to expand your circle to include others. - Shannon L. AlderYou listen to me, you daft cow. You are not boring. If you were, we wouldn’t be friends. You’re funny and clever and, yes ,okay, you’re a bit of a dingbat sometimes but that doesn’t make you boring. The fact that we never know what’ll come out of your mouth actually makes you interesting. Now, that’s the end of that. - Michele GormanI swear my best friend is so fine. I see her every day after work and I’m always like, ‘she doesn’t even have to try!’ She’s that perfect! - Lionel Suggs(LIONEL BONAVENTURE / Stringer / Getty)I loved her like a sister and we’d known each other since we were babies, but on some level, you couldn’t have found two peas in the same pod that were so completely different. It was almost like opening the pod and finding a pea and a piece of corn. - Erica LarsenYour job won’t take care of you when you’ll be sailing through loneliness or going through a tragedy in life. Your friends will. Make good friends and stay in touch. - Chanda Kaushik‘Well, I don’t want to complain,’ Apple began. ‘Oh, go ahead and complain. That’s why you have a best friend forever after.’ - Shannon Hale

Honourable Teammates Fight To Keep Permanently Disabled Player On Payroll For 20 Years
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Honourable Teammates Fight To Keep Permanently Disabled Player On Payroll For 20 Years

Sportsmanship comes in many forms, and exists even off the field. It makes competitive games fun and enjoyable, and helps create lifelong bonds between teammates. Additionally, sportsmanship fosters positivity in life skills and good habits- both on an individual and community level. A forever teammateMajor League Baseball showed major heart when one of its rookie players, Matt LaChappa, suffered from a sudden heart attack at the age of 20. The young pitcher had been drafted to the San Diego Padres straight out of high school, and was going strong with a mean curveball in the spring of 1996. As fate would have it, the sudden heart attack resulted in debilitating brain damage that left him unable to speak and confined to a wheelchair for the rest of his life.Matt LaChappa is a Padre for life.Priscilla OppenheimerLifelong supportMatt LaChappa can't pitch a Major League game, but on paper, he has been a member of the Padres for over 25 years. The team knew that Matt would never work again, and his newfound condition would leave him unable to work for the rest of his life. The team, however, kept him on so that he would always be provided the medical insurance he needed. He’s such a good kid… and I’m so happy the Padres have kept it up after all these years.Priscilla OppenheimerMade officialPriscilla Oppenheimer, the former Director of Minor League Operation for the Padres, explained that when she found out about the tragedy, she explored whether or not there would be any rules against keeping him on the team indefinitely so that he would continue to benefit from the health insurance. Luckily, the action was allowed. After 20 years on the payroll, in April 2015, Matt was welcomed back onto the field, where he greeted fans with a baseball in his once-powerful left hand. Lifelong sportsmanshipMatt LaChappa, despite no longer being able to speak or move normally, embodies sportsmanship. Whether at home or in the Padres’ VIP suite, he always shows up for game time, ready to cheer for his team. In return, his team continues to support him with insurance. We could all learn a lesson about sportsmanship from the Padres. Being a teammate lasts a lifetime after everyone leaves the field. More uplifting newsAlert Stranger Notices Missing Girl’s Secret Hand Gesture – Acts Quickly And Saves Her From AbductorWoman Complains About Homeless Dad Sleeping At McDonald’s – His Response Takes Her By Surprise89-Year-Old Delivers Pizza 30 Hours A Week To Pay Bills – Breaks Down When Handed Unusual Tip12-Year-Old Trusts Her Instincts And Saves Little Girl From Being Abducted in Broad DaylightSPORTSMANSHIP IS IMPORTANT OFF THE FIELD TOO Scores get forgotten; your actions do not.

Relational Aggression: What It Is and How to Identify It
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Relational Aggression: What It Is and How to Identify It

You may not be familiar with the term relational aggression – but you've likely seen it portrayed in movies and on TV. One prime example of relational aggression comes from the popular 2004 movie Mean Girls. The socially popular antagonist Regina George controls her group of friends by using relational aggression tactics – from spreading gossip to pulling pranks, insults and more. The difference between physical and relational aggression is that the latter is nonphysical. Relational aggression is intended to hurt another person's social standing, which the aggressor then benefits from. And while overt and relational aggression is most prominently seen in early and middle childhood, it is something that anyone can experience – even in adulthood. This article will explore what relational aggression is, what causes it, how to identify it and how to counteract it. Suppose you suspect that a child or teenager you know may be a victim of relational and overt aggression in their peer group or at school. In that case, this article will also cover steps to take in order to rectify the situation. What is relational aggression? Relational aggression is a term that encompasses manipulative behaviors and bullying employed with the intent to cause harm to a person's relationships with others. Relational aggression can do just as much harmful damage as physical aggression. However, because it often lacks physical evidence, it can be hard to identify and address – especially within a school setting. Types of relational aggression (and related terms)Relational aggression manifests in many different formats and relates to other aggressive behaviors displayed in early childhood as well as by adolescents, preteens and teenagers. Here's a look at aggressive behaviors and what they mean. Reactive relational aggressionThis type of relational aggression happens as a result of a person feeling threatened or attacked. For example, someone may become relationally aggressive if they've been wronged by a friend (peer rejection), or in retaliation to someone that has threatened their social status at school.Instrumental relational aggressionThis example of relational aggression does not have a catalyst. It's motivated by the individual's desire to get what they want out of the person they're targeting. An example would be threatening to end a friendship, or threatening to exclude someone from peer relationships if they don't do what's asked of them. Social aggression Also known as relational bullying, this term encompasses tactics like gossiping, spreading rumors and/or purposely excluding someone from a social group of friends. (FatCamera / Getty)While there are gender differences related to bully types of behavior, this can occur with both boys and girls.Overt (physical) aggressionThis type of aggression includes physical aggression but can also involve causing harm mentally through threatening physical violence. Examples of relational aggressionIn order to put an end to relational aggression, it's essential to know what it looks like. Here are examples of relational aggression, and why they're harmful. Gossiping and spreading rumorsWhether it's used as reactive relational aggression toward someone who is feeling threatened or peer pressure to be perceived more positively, spreading hurtful rumors and gossiping about someone to peers is one destructive example of relational aggression. Having a story circulated about you is never a pleasant experience – but in today's digital age, the relational aggressor is able to reach a mass audience, which makes this behavior especially harmful. Excluding someone on purposeExclusion can be used as a way to maintain a person's own social status within a group – especially by someone who feels threatened. In scenarios where exclusion is being used, a student may purposely ignore someone who considered them a friend, making them feel invisible. Examples of this include pretending not to hear them, not saying hello, giving them the silent treatment, or even uninviting them from certain social events. Because social relationships are so important to adolescents and teenagers, the target of this tactic will typically spend time and energy trying to identify what they did wrong, causing prolonged stress and anxiety. Teasing and insultsBeing teased by someone you don't have a relationship with still hurts – but being put down by someone who presents themself to you as a friend is a type of relational aggression that has an even more severe impact. It's hard to spot or address these types of insults since the aggressor will state that it's being said in the friend's best interest. For example, the aggressor may say that the insult is being brought up because real friends are truthful – even when it hurts. When someone stands up for themselves in this relational aggression scenario, the aggressor may downplay the damage, saying they're being too sensitive rather than taking ownership over the person's hurt feelings the way someone would in a healthy relationship. CyberbullyingRelational aggression doesn't just happen in person – it happens online as well, which can be even more damaging when there's no respite from the aggression taking place, not even at home. Cyberbullying can mean anything from spreading rumors and lies over social media to harassing someone through messages or texts. In some cases of relational aggression, cyberbullying may even be used as a way to gain information from someone by pretending to be someone else. This can also be used to embarrass the person being targeted by relational aggression. For example, pretending to be a potential love interest, only to reveal that this person fell for the trick to the entire school. Social influences on relational aggressionWhat causes relational aggression in adolescents and teens? Studies in child development have correlated relational aggression behaviors with experiences in early childhood and have identified that this impacts their social development and social-psychological adjustment. For example, children may have learned these behaviors from older siblings, or through indirect aggression, they witnessed through their parental relationships. Why relational aggression happensSocial status seems to be one of the top motivators for relational aggression between adolescents and teenagers – but it's not the only reason. Here are a few other factors that can cause relationally aggressive behaviors.Peer Pressure No one is immune to peer pressure. For adolescents and teenagers, fitting in with a particular crowd becomes an essential part of their social experience at school. It makes sense that even the brightest, most well-adjusted kids may compromise their morals in exchange for a certain level of popularity. This can be a powerful motivator for relational aggression.BoredomStarting a rumor makes things more interesting – and being the one to start the rumor gives creative license over the excitement spreading around at school. This relational aggression might not even be about the target as it is a way to stir up drama for entertainment purposes. Low Self-EsteemPeople who put time and effort into making someone else look bad generally don't feel very good about themselves. In order to prevent others from picking on their shortcomings, sometimes bullies will leverage relational aggression to strike out and divert attention from themselves as an act of self-preservation.JealousyJealousy can be a crucial motivator for relational aggression – especially in a school setting where emphasis on appearance and status are most important. If someone isn't able to afford the things their peers have or isn't deemed as attractive as others, relational aggression can be used as a way of retaliating and an attempt to even the playing field.How to address physical and relational aggression If your child or teenager is experiencing relational aggression, here are some steps to take. EmpathizeAs adults, the relational aggression and bullying we may have experienced in school are far behind us. But it's important not to minimize your child's experience by assuring them that no one will remember the gossip that they're currently dealing with, or that the friend who betrayed them was not a good friend anyway. Instead, validate the experience your child is going through. It's hard to be at the receiving end of relational aggression – but make sure your child knows it's not their fault.ListenWhen your child is experiencing relational aggression, wanting to fix this by stepping in is a common reaction. However, it's essential for your child's social development to feel that they have some agency over the situation and that they should be the ones to decide how they deal with the received aggression.(Catherine Falls Commercial / Getty)If your child wants to talk to you about the relational aggression they're dealing with, allow them to speak without interrupting. Ask questions that help them identify what they think is best in order to address it. You may suggest that they talk with someone at school, but don't pressure them to do so unless they're ready and onboard. Talk to your child about cyberbullying Whether they've experienced this form of relational aggression or not, having a plan in place for how to respond to cyberbullying with your child puts you both a step ahead of the game. Educate your child on the importance of not responding – even if it's tempting to clear up things that are not true. Make sure you both keep a record of the cyberbullying that occurs – texts, posts, comments, etc., may be needed as proof in case the school needs to address this. If the situation escalates, report cyberbullying to the school. Build self-esteemSelf-esteem takes a hit at the hands of relational aggression, especially if it's persistent. While you and your child may not be able to control relational aggression, you can both build and strengthen their self-esteem. Take time to focus on everything that's great about your child and what makes them unique. Expand social circlesTelling your child not to be friends or associate with the person causing relational aggression is not the best tactic, as it calls their competency into question regarding friendships. Instead, try to expand your child's social circle outside of school. Maybe there's a hobby or sport they can join with children from other school districts. If your teenager is old enough, encouraging a part-time job where peers of a similar age work can also be beneficial. Encouraging prosocial behavior such as volunteering or charity work can also improve your teen’s mood and positively impact self-esteem. Know when to ask for helpJust because relational aggression doesn't encompass physical aggression doesn't mean that a situation can't or won't turn physical. If you suspect that your child may be in danger at school, notify your school's administration and work with them toward identifying a solution. There are many things a school can do as well to reduce relational bullying (see the Early Childhood Friendship Project for more details on that subject).If the effects of relational aggression have become detrimental to your child's mental health, whether it's social anxiety, depression or impacting their social development, consider reaching out to a counselor or therapist to work with your child one-on-one. SummaryRelational aggression can be hard to spot and tough to address, but you don’t have to be an aficionado of abnormal child psychology or subscribe to Early Childhood Research Quarterly to get a handle on it. While we can't protect our children from the aggressions of others, ultimately, we can teach them how to react, how to cope and how to protect themselves from cyberbullying. We can also teach them how to spot relational aggression early on in friendships to avoid relationships with such people. No matter what age we are when we experience relational aggression, learning how to respond in a way that leaves us feeling empowered rather than defeated is key to overcoming it.TAKE THE HIGH ROADAre you ready to stand up for yourself and others?

Wheel of Emotions: How It Can Help Your Relationships
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Wheel of Emotions: How It Can Help Your Relationships

"Tell me what’s wrong."I don’t know.Have you ever been left without words to explain your feelings? If you answered yes, then there is a chance that this difficulty in describing your feelings comes not from a lack of wanting or trying, but from not knowing and harnessing the power behind American psychologist Robert Plutchik’s wheel of emotions. When we do not have the vocabulary to fully express our basic emotions in the moment, it can leave room for misunderstanding where everyone ends up feeling short-changed. However, having the right words and a deeper understanding of the emotion wheel (sometimes called the feeling wheel) can greatly enhance self-awareness and emotional intelligence. You can use the emotion wheel to develop a stronger and more compassionate bond with yourself and others. When you are no longer fighting yourself to figure out how you feel and what it means, you begin to attract a higher vibration of energy. So how can you use Plutchik’s wheel of emotions to improve your inner self relationship and your connection to others? First things first, we need to see ourselves in the wheel of emotions and begin identifying our eight core emotions.Plutchik’s Emotion WheelAccording to psychologist Robert Plutchik, we are capable of experiencing around 34,000 emotions, and unfortunately, there are more negative emotions than positive. Can you imagine trying to name, identify, and understand the meaning or message behind all of them? In Plutchick’s model, you don’t have to. Rather, you can begin by focusing first on eight primary emotions, or the human emotions that Plutchik sees as forming all other emotions mammals are capable of experiencing. In short, you can’t have the other 33,992 emotions without these eight.The eight core emotions are described are:TrustFearSurpriseSadnessDisgustAngerAnticipation JoyThe Power of Primary EmotionsOnce you feel comfortable recognizing these formative emotions from the emotion wheel in your own body and mind, you can move into understanding how these emotions influence others and our physical reactions. Like blending primary colors to make a rainbow of new hues, these eight emotions can be combined to create what’s known as secondary emotions. Plutchik’s wheel of emotions also offers insight into the physical reactions that tend to accompany emotional pairings. You will see these reactions placed outside the wheel of emotions in between the petals. Combining Basic Emotions Life is full of many pleasant and unpleasant feelings, and emotions differ greatly partly because they are the result of what Plutchik calls emotion blending, in which two types of primary emotion combine to create secondary emotions.Here are a few examples: Anger + Anticipation : AggressivenessAnticipation + Joy: OptimismDisgust + Anger: ContemptFear + Surprise: AweJoy + Trust: LoveSadness + Disgust: RemorseSurprise + Sadness: DisapprovalTrust + Fear: SubmissionEach emotion on Plutchick’s wheel of emotions is also presented across from its opposing emotion so you can visualize where certain feelings sit on the spectrum. Seeing emotions presented with their polars on the emotion wheel gives us greater insight into how our feelings are related.If you are struggling to identify a certain emotion, it can be helpful to examine the opposites to get a clearer idea of what an emotion is and is not. Opposite emotions examples include:Fear and Anger Physiology: Get small and hide vs get big and loud.Anticipation and Surprise Physiology: Examine closely vs jump back.Disgust and Trust Physiology: Reject vs embrace.Joy and Sadness Physiology: Connect vs withdraw.Beyond binary emotions such as disgust / fear or anger / surprise, the wheel of emotions shows us the varying degrees or intensity level possible with each core emotion. It can be helpful here to visualize the wheel of emotions as a wheel of daisy flower petals. Each petal stems from the epicenter and flows outward much like our emotions stem from primary base emotions and can flow into other secondary emotions. The feelings closest to the flower’s center are by nature the most intense degree of emotional expression of the base emotions. For example, if we look at the emotion “anger,” we see it sandwiched between its associated lesser intense emotion and more intense emotion of annoyance and rage, respectively. Rage sits in the center and annoyance on the outermost petal tip.This means rage and annoyance are seen in Plutchik’s model as degrees of the base emotion of anger. Knowing this highlights the importance of owning and controlling our primary and secondary emotions to prevent escalation to more intense expressions. The Feelings Wheel Compared With The Emotion Wheel Truth be told, there are several versions of Plutchick’s emotion wheel and you can use whichever one you want to develop a deeper understanding about your emotions and even your mental health. The most important thing in picking a wheel to work with is that it resonates with you and is designed in a way that holds your attention. For now, it can be useful to print out or make your own copy of your wheel and keep it somewhere visible.There are a few different designs of the feelings wheel that can help you understand what’s happening beneath and influencing the eight basic emotions. Examples of other variants that can benefit your understanding of how emotions combine include:Geoffrey Roberts’ Feelings Wheel The Junto Institute Emotion WheelGeneva WheelThe Feelings Wheel (slightly different from the emotional wheel) is said to be originally designed by Gloria Willcox and adapted by Australian pastor Geoffrey Roberts, among many others. It is not as complex as Plutchik’s model, and perhaps this is where its popularity on social media stems from.In this design, there are three circles contained within and arranged by the following:Various primary emotionsSecondary emotionsTertiary emotionsIn Roberts’ feelings wheel, there are seven primary emotions:BadSadHappyDisgustedFearfulSurprisedYou’ll notice that while there is some overlap in emotions (e.g. disgust, sadness, fear, and surprise) but there are also noticeable differences. Roberts’ feelings wheel does not include joy, acceptance, or anticipation in its definition of core emotions. It does, however, offer a total of 130 emotions, and has been designed with a focus on negative emotions in order to help you recognize them and take back your power. Using Your Understanding of Basic EmotionsYou can use the feelings wheel to further your understanding of how core emotions influence other emotions. For example, the core emotion “bad,” as in, “I feel bad,” begs you to look beyond the first circle and into the associated secondary emotions and tertiary emotions. Such an exercise can help to narrow down what’s wrong and can give you invaluable insight into what created the “bad” emotion and your reaction. This can be particularly useful in child-guardian relationships, as well as with teaching children emotional literacy. For example, if a child is exhibiting anger through screaming, hitting, or stomping, after a moment of pause, it’s useful to show them the wheel and help them (and yourself) see why they were angry in the first place. Did the anger stem from being tired, busy, bored, stressed? Asking these questions is a great starting point for a better understanding of your own emotional states, and is part of walking the path to personal and relationship growth.Emotions Are Necessary For Survival Plutchick’s model proposes emotions are, “basic adaptations needed by all organisms in the struggle for individual survival.”In healthy individuals in nurturing environments, acknowledging your emotions means getting needs met (ie. being comforted, fed, put to bed for a nap, etc.). This is a positive reinforcement that helps us learn the meaning behind our emotions and the cause and effect of expressing emotions to trusted persons. Unfortunately, though, this is not the same situation for everyone. For those who have experienced trauma (abuse, neglect, gaslighting, etc.), you may have learned it’s a safer survival strategy to silence your emotions because expressing them never leads to relief. Perhaps in some cases expressing your emotions has even led to consequences so you’ve adapted by disconnecting from your emotions as a survival strategy. While this has served you so far, deep down you know denying your feelings is only further hurting yourself and impairing your relationships with others. You may be surviving, but you are far from thriving. The Benefits of Owning Your Emotions (And What’s Stopping You)If you feel weird checking in with your emotions and asking yourself how you’re feeling, this is a sign you have never been fully supported in expressing your true self and your full emotional spectrum. It takes some work to mindshift toward self-awareness and acceptance, but the rewards are nothing less than a new lease on life. Benefits may include:Moving from self-denial to self-acceptanceUnderstanding past actionsPreventing escalation of emotions (especially during stressful times and interpersonal conflict)Being able to explain your full self to someone else and increasing their capacity for knowing who you truly are (this creates next-level connections)Attracting other people with higher emotional intelligenceStopping or slowing your reactivity to emotional triggers Enhancing your capacity to understand where other people are coming fromBeing able to teach others (particularly adolescents) about emotional intelligenceDetaching from the power of any one emotionAddressing your personal needs and speaking up for yourselfThe Power of Naming Negative EmotionsOne of the greatest benefits of the emotion wheel is its ability to help you identify negative or unwanted emotions. Research has shown that naming negative feelings (labeling emotions) can help people take control and de-escalate their emotional state. This is a powerful revelation in the way many of us think about our emotions or feelings. Too many times, without the right words for how we are feeling, we are left without knowing how to communicate (and therefore cope) in a healthy way. Instead of naming our emotions, we may unintentionally fall victim to the mentality that we have lost control of our emotional state (ie. we are an emotional “wreck” or are emotionally “broken”). We may even feel we have no idea how we really feel about people, places, and things. This is akin to being lost, and it can be extremely discomforting.In this negative emotional state, we will understandably try anything to avoid dealing with the unknown feelings spreading their influence on our actions and relationship with others. This is what we have learned to do for self-protection, but it is actually self-abandoning. Every time you deny, refute, hide, or repress an emotional state, you’re abandoning the inner child within who needs your help. Pay attention to common ways people try to avoid feeling emotions:*Scrolling on social mediaCleaning houseHaving sexSmoking mind-altering substancesDrinking intoxicating substances like alcoholBinge-watching televisionPlaying online games Shopping without a purpose Mindlessly eating or binge-eating and purgingSelf-harming behaviors including risky driving Remember the degrees of emotional intensity: Delaying or avoiding feeling all the feelings can actually make matters worse in your inner and outer worlds. How do you know if you’re doing this? Listen to the way others speak of you. The following phrases are all red flags that you’re emotionally disconnected and it’s hurting your relationships with others. Has anyone ever said these things to you?I feel like you’re a million miles away.You’re always on your phone.It feels like I’m talking to a wall.Can you get off your phone? I feel disconnected.You’re always distracted.I don’t even know who you are anymore.You never let me in.In other words, you can try to avoid your emotions, but all that does is signal to yourself and others that your feelings don’t matter. Denying your emotions or ignoring their true meaning (which can be discovered with help of Plutchik’s model) is like leaving your flower wheel without water, sun, and fertilizer. With enough negative reinforcement, some petals of emotions will begin to wilt and dry, becoming fragile to the slightest touch. This means if an external or internal stimuli triggers that long-denied emotion, you could be left completely defenseless and likely to crumble under the slightest pressure.Obviously this is not what you want.When you acknowledge your feelings and emotions, let yourself truly feel your feelings and emotions, and embrace your entire spectrum of feelings and emotions, you open your universe to higher emotional intelligence and the kind of radical self acceptance we all deserve. How to Use Plutchik’s Wheel of Emotions to Benefit Your RelationshipsUsing Plutchik’s wheel of emotions means making an investment in your emotional literacy. The benefits of such a pursuit will spread to every relationship you have in life. Emotional Wheel + YouThe most important relationship is the one you have with yourself. Here is where you should focus the deepest because internal conflicts (ie. not knowing how you feel or why) create inner turmoil that seeps into every aspect of life.Ask yourself: “How am I feeling right now?”Start checking-in with yourself on a regular basis so you can begin identifying your personal spectrum of emotions in real-time. Check the wheel: Locate your emotion and its degrees.Pick an emotion on the wheel that feels the most accurate. Be patient with yourself because it can be a guessing game in the beginning if you’re new to thinking about your emotions. Then, check out the entire petal to assess where you are intensity-wise or see what other emotions are related to how you’re feeling. Did you let things escalate or did you check-in before that happened? Remember that simply naming your feelings helps disarm their potential to escalate.Strengthen your inner voice: Listen to what the wheel is saying and act accordingly. It takes some practice, but when you acknowledge your true emotions instead of denying or repressing them, you are able to practice greater self-forgiveness and self-compassion, as well as actually learn from your emotionally-driven mistakes. If you’re not sure where to begin, start by doing a mindful body scan exercise where you check-in with the different parts of your body. If you are spiritual, you can also scan your spirit self or your chakras and heart mind. If you have a nagging feeling you don’t have a word for how you feel, you can take a look at the wheel of emotions or feeling wheel to get some insight. Engaging in this exercise works your emotional intelligence muscles. This means you are less likely to self-destruct or follow a path that was never meant for you, and you are more likely to practice self-control and calm in the midst of chaos and conflict. Emotional Wheel + OthersYou can use the emotion wheel or feeling wheel to strengthen your relationships with other people including your children and relatives, romantic and platonic partner(s), co-workers, and literal strangers. Remember the emotion wheel: Accept that other people’s emotions are complexDon’t make the mistake of thinking because you know about the emotion wheel that you can identify emotions in other people. This is a recipe for relationship breakdown (and a waste of your energy). Both the emotion wheel and the feeling wheel teach us:Emotions are not isolated entities (they influence other emotions and actions)Emotions are not static (they can vary in intensity)Emotions are vast (you may not have even experienced certain emotions that are influencing others and vice versus)It is best to use the emotion wheel or feeling wheel to develop your own communication skills so you can better navigate interpersonal relationships. Do not use the wheel in an attempt to decode someone else’s emotions or tell them how you think they feel and why. This strategy is not likely to help your relationship in the long run. Focus on yourself, listening to your own emotions, and developing your own emotional literacy and just watch how your relationships start changing as a result.Before You GoYou already have everything you need within you to begin your journey to greater emotional vibrations and deeper emotional bonds with other people. You really can change the way you relate to your emotional self and the role emotions play in your relationships. This has the power to transform your connections and open new avenues in your path and all you need to do is begin by learning the language of emotions from the feeling wheel or emotion wheel.

Jamie Lee Curtis and Christopher Guest’s Advice For A Successful Relationship Is Just Two Simple Words
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Jamie Lee Curtis and Christopher Guest’s Advice For A Successful Relationship Is Just Two Simple Words

After 36 years of marriage, Jamie Lee Curtis and Christopher Guest’s love story is impressive by any standard, but especially by Hollywood’s. The couple, who met in the mid-1980s, is proof that when you open yourself up to love, great things can happen. But they’re also adamant about the fact that a long-lasting union isn’t easy. Rather, it takes ongoing work and Curtis’ advice for marital bliss boils down to just two simple words, which are likely to surprise you.Here’s what we can learn from Jamie Lee Curtis and Christopher Guest’s decades-long romance:"I think it’s crucial to put yourself in the path of love.” That’s the first piece of advice Jamie Lee Curtis offers when asked about how she managed to find her lifelong love at age 25. A huge proponent of taking a proactive approach to life (and love), Curtis has repeatedly spoken about how she pursued Christopher Guest after deciding he’d be a great match for her. “Look, I reached out to [Christopher’s] agent. I left my number. He didn’t call me by the way,” she shared with HELLO! in 2021. But that was by no means the end. Soon, the universe appeared to step in as they “ran into each other at a restaurant, and then he called me. But I put myself in the path of it, because I have believed in that my whole life: Put yourself in the path, do your work and let God take over the rest,” she encouraged.Our lives do hinge on a couple seconds that we don’t see coming and what we do in those seconds ultimately determines the rest of our lives. I met my husband by seeing his picture in a magazine and saying out loud to a friend of mine, 'I'm going to marry that dude,' and married him four months later. So the truth of the matter is, life hinged for me on a couple seconds that I didn't see coming.Jamie Lee Curtis to TODAYIt’s a sentiment she also shared with Oprah when she recounted the couple’s meet cute in detail. It was “one spring afternoon in 1984” and she was flipping through Rolling Stone with friend and Halloween co-writer Debra Hill. When she happened to land on a photo of three guys, she “looked at the man on the right, wearing a plaid shirt and a waggish smirk. I'd never seen him before, but I pointed at him [and said], ‘I'm going to marry that man,’” she recalled. Luckily, Hill did recognize him and gave Curtis the contact info for Guest’s agent. “The next day I called the agent, gave him my number, and told him to have Chris call me if he was interested,” she shared. That initial pursuit didn’t work and she didn’t hear from her crush, but a dinner at Hugo's in West Hollywood would soon change everything. “I glanced up and found myself staring straight at Chris, three tables away,” Curtis recalled, reminiscing how “he waved to me as if to say, ‘I'm the guy you called.’ I waved back: ‘I'm the woman who called you.’ A few minutes later, he got up to leave. Standing 20 feet away, he shrugged his shoulders and put up his hand as if to say, ‘I'll see ya.’ As he left.” This time, he did call and they went on their first date just a few days later. By the following month, “we'd fallen in love” and one month after that, he proposed. They were married before the year was over and haven’t parted ways since.Speaking with TODAY in 2021, Curtis elaborated on just how important it is to put yourself out there and lean in. "Our lives do hinge on a couple seconds that we don’t see coming and what we do in those seconds ultimately determines the rest of our lives,” she mused. “I met my husband by seeing his picture in a magazine and saying out loud to a friend of mine, 'I'm going to marry that dude,' and married him four months later. So the truth of the matter is, life hinged for me on a couple seconds that I didn't see coming," she said.Jamie Lee Curtis’ best relationship advice is just two words While most people may look at Jamie Lee Curtis and Christopher Guest’s relationship and think that they have it easy, the truth is that the couple puts in the work to make their union a success. It’s something Curtis has spoken about candidly on numerous occasions, like in 2015 when she told TODAY that her best marriage advice is “don't get divorced. It's a fascinating thing. I could write a book on marriage called 'Don't Leave,'" she quipped. Don’t leave. There’s a recovery phrase that says, ‘Stay on the bus, the scenery will change.’ You think you’re having a bad week, but stay on the bus, because one of these days you’ll look out the window and it’ll be beautiful. I’m not a wild romantic. I’m a realist. I respect him. And I just don’t leave.Jamie Lee Curtis to Good HousekeepingShe elaborated on the idea with Good Housekeeping a few years later in 2018, recommending, “Don’t leave. There’s a recovery phrase that says, ‘Stay on the bus, the scenery will change.’ You think you’re having a bad week, but stay on the bus, because one of these days you’ll look out the window and it’ll be beautiful,” she explained, adding, “I’m not a wild romantic. I’m a realist. I respect him. And I just don’t leave.” All these years later, it’s a concept that continues to serve them well, as Curtis and Guest are still putting in the effort to make their relationship the best it can be. Speaking with HELLO! In 2021, the Halloween star said she still believes that the best advice she can offer anyone is "don't leave. That's really it – two words. Because you will want to,” she admitted. “If you're telling me anybody who's married for a long time hasn't thought 'I hate them, I want out,' of course they have! I believe if you stay on the bus long enough, the scenery will change,” she assured.If you feel “comfort” and “connection,” you’re on the right pathJamie Lee Curtis and Christopher Guest may be “opposites” but they’re okay with that! “We don’t listen to the same radio station, we don’t read the same paper, we don’t go to bed at the same time,” Curtis told Good Housekeeping, but was quick to add that they do make an effort to share some pastimes. “We read the same history books,” she continued, adding that “for our 30th anniversary we both read a book called Undaunted Courage, the story of Lewis and Clark. Then we took eight friends and retraced a section of the Missouri River in canoes that followed the path of their expedition. We’re a little nerdy,” she joked. The fact that their daily routines are so different hasn’t taken anything away from their union because it’s their underlying connection that really matters. As Curtis told AARP, nothing can trump the way your partner makes you feel. Calling Guest her “one and only,” she revealed how she wrote him a song to celebrate their 35th wedding anniversary in which she sang, “I feel safe when I drive up and see that you are home." Opening up about the meaning behind those words, she explained, “That's the long marriage. It's the safety of knowing his car is in the garage, that I'm not alone, and that he's here," she told the outlet. She shared more of that sentiment on her Instagram while celebrating their 36th anniversary in December 2020, writing, “One of the longest relationships I’ve had seeking comfort and contact and connection is with Chris. My hand in his. Then and now. Connected through our children and family and friends, it became the links in our human emotional chain that have seen each of us through triumph and tragedy,” she gushed.Yes, the way Jamie Lee Curtis and Christopher Guest met is rare and not everyone can expect to have such a quirky encounter worthy of a rom-com, but what we can all learn from the couple, especially Curtis, is the right way to approach love. For one, you need to remain open to it, even in the most unlikely of circumstances, and once you have it in your grasp, the work doesn’t stop. In fact, that’s when it begins. As the actor has said time and time again, even when things get tough, the one thing to always remember is “don’t leave” because a true connection is worth working for.More inspiring stories:Jamie Lee Curtis Bravely Reveals Decade-Long Struggle with Opioid Addiction, Shows That Even the Mega Successful Have Painful SecretsWarren Buffett, Melinda Gates and Sheryl Sandberg Agree This Advice Is Essential For a Lasting RelationshipNicki Minaj Gives Simple but Powerful Self-Esteem Advice and It’s a Lesson for Every RelationshipBarbra Streisand and James Brolin’s Advice for a Successful Marriage Is Seriously Simple