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Ever wondered how power couple, Beyoncé and Jay-Z keep their love alive for 16 years? Hint: luck has nothing to do with it. If you've been blaming your failed relationships on "the wrong person"—think again. It may be time to reconsider who is really at fault.
Love is a risk. The willingness to open your heart, to love deeply and boldly, opens us up to the possibility of pain. There’s a reason vulnerability is often accompanied by a sense of anxiety, or tenderness. The potential for conflict, rejection or unmet needs, or misunderstanding can be disruptive. But when that pain comes from the actions of one person, through infidelity, it’s devastating.RELATED: Are You in a One-Sided Relationship? 3 Steps to Heal or Let GoWhen in a committed monogamous relationship, cheating is the ultimate betrayal. Some therapists have likened the pain to PTSD due to its impact. But is infidelity the end of a relationship? It doesn’t have to be. In this article, we’ll explore the nuances of infidelity, from the surprising reasons why people cheat to common misconceptions, and the steps it takes to heal, forgive, and grow through the experience.Why Do People Cheat?Esther Perel is one of the world’s leading experts on relationships. Part of Perel’s gift, and the reason for her popularity, is her willingness to explore complex topics with as much objectivity as possible. She explores everything, from desire, sex, and eroticism, to what makes committed relationships thrive over the long term. In addition to working with clients as a relationship therapist, Perel is a podcast host and the author of two books: Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs.The State of Affairs is Perel’s deep dive into the nature of infidelity, written with Perel’s trademark willingness to avoid black-or-white thinking. She writes: “The intricacies of love and desire don’t yield to simple categorizations of good and bad, victim and perpetrator. Not condemning does not mean condoning, and there is a world of difference between understanding and justifying.”Perel’s research is so illuminating because it turns lots of common misconceptions upside down. According to Perel, the core motivation for people to commit infidelity has nothing to do with their marriage or committed relationship. Instead, it’s a personal exploration, an opportunity for the cheater to discover parts of themselves they feel to have lost, or never experienced.The Misconception of the Symptom TheoryThe symptom theory describes how, a typical approach to exploring infidelity is to see the affair as filling a void, making up for something lacking in the relationship. There are many reasons people cheat. Motivations for infidelity are varied. Common themes, such as a lack of passion, lack of fulfillment, or need for excitement, all occur. Perel notes a number of issues with the symptom theory, based on her experiences working with clients. She says the idea of people committing infidelity because something has gone wrong reinforces the “perfect marriage,” which is mistakenly believed to protect people from acting out sexual fantasies with others, or from relationship dissatisfaction. In her practice, Perel notes that many cases of affairs don’t fit the box of dysfunction. Many people who commit infidelity say they are even happy in their relationships.RELATED: How to Spot Commitment Issues and What You Need to Do to Get Over ThemSo why do happy people cheat? “For these seekers, infidelity is less likely to be a symptom of a problem, and more likely an expansive experience that involves growth, exploration, and transformation,” she writes. That might not ease the damage for the injured partner, but it does create a wider understanding of why people behave in ways that are hard to make sense of.The allure of someone new can be exciting. But that excitement comes with a huge cost. In reference to one of her clients, who was having an affair that she was struggling to end, Perel reflected that “she is really afraid to lose is not her lover — it’s the part of herself that he awakened.” When people are unaware of lost parts of themselves they project onto an affair partner, or mistake love for limerence, they set themselves up for self-discovery in an incredibly damaging way.The Emotional Damage of InfidelityPerel is careful to note that there is no way of condoning an affair. Notions of expansion and self-discovery become insignificant when compared to the pain of the person cheated on. As Perel writes:“Generally, there is much concern for the agony suffered by the betrayed. And agony it is — infidelity today isn’t just a violation of trust; it’s a shattering of the grand ambition of romantic love. It is a shock that makes us question our past, our future, and even our very identity.”Other leading therapists have compared the trauma of infidelity with PTSD. Infidelity is a huge act of betrayal, especially when placing trust in someone, becoming vulnerable, and developing emotional bonds and sexual intimacy. Dennis Ortman, a former Catholic priest and clinical psychologist, created the term Post-Infidelity Stress Disorder. Although Ortman wasn’t identifying this as a distinct disorder, he notes that people who have been cheated on often display all the signs of PTSD.That includes painful ruminations, panic attacks, dissociation, and emotional numbing. And then there’s another painful stage, where the person cheated on obsessively looks to the past, to try and spot clues that were missed, questioning every aspect of the relationship. Recovering from infidelity is one of the toughest emotional challenges to face.Can a Relationship Recover from Infidelity?Whether to give the relationship another go will depend on unique circumstances, whether it’s healthy or unhealthy. For example, abusive or manipulative dynamics as well as infidelity, such as gaslighting, and blaming the affair on the injured partner, are huge red flags. But that’s not always the case, and it’s impossible to tell how a relationship will weather the storm of infidelity. Perel writes:“Catastrophe has a way of propelling us into the essence of things. In the wake of devastating betrayals, so many couples tell me that they are having some of the deepest, most honest conversations of their entire relationship. Their history is laid bare—unfulfilled expectations, unspoken resentments, and unmet longings. Love is messy; infidelity, more so. But it is also a window, like none other, into the crevices of the human heart.”Perel notes that an affair ends the first marriage, but there is an opportunity to begin a "second marriage," with greater honesty. Perel doesn’t give a definitive answer as to when or how someone should disclose an affair, but for the purpose of this article, we’ll make the assumption the infidelity is out in the open. Although many relationships (and the affair) end, some go on to become even stronger. It takes immense courage, but is possible.The Six Stages of ForgivenessIn Transcending Post-Infidelity Stress Disorder, Dennis Ortman offers six stages of overcoming infidelity, which are listed below. Ortman’s focus is on the journey of forgiveness, which is the foundation of recovery. In his words: “You forgive for your own sake, so you can mend your broken heart and find peace. Arriving at that place of forgiveness requires an extensive preparation of the emotions, mind, will, and heart. A forgiving attitude is the fruit of purposeful effort, a cultivation of virtues, and the healing of inner wounds.”1. Calm the Emotional StormYou can’t move on if painful emotions are suppressed or ignored. The worst outcome is trying to continue a relationship without addressing core wounds, and ending up in abuse or dysfunctional dynamics, filled with passive aggression or resentment. The choice to continue has to consider moving forwards in a healthy way — no matter how challenging that path will be.2. Understand the AffairThis is the inquiry stage, part of the process of what Perel notes as “propelling into the essence of things.” This takes a lot of patience and restraint, to have incredibly tough conversations to shine a light on the cause of the affair. Most couples will need the support of a therapist at this stage, in order to get an objective view. For the injured partner, this takes huge amounts of compassion, in order to try to understand, rather than blame or insult the partner who had the affair.3. Understand YourselfBoth Perel and Ortman encourage people to move away from black-or-white, victim-versus-perpetrator thinking. “Such a one-sided misrepresentation will only set you up to repeat the tragic drama of betrayal,” Ortman writes. There has to be a willingness to understand personal shortcomings, within self-blame or judgment. Were there areas of the relationship you were neglecting? Were you meeting your partner’s needs? Were you afraid to express your needs, or be vulnerable enough to have necessary but difficult conversations?4. Make a Wise DecisionThe top three stages are essential whether staying in the relationship or not. They’re prerequisites for healing. At stage four, Ortman encourages people to make a wise decision about the nature of the relationship. Do you end it, or keep going? To make a choice that’s in the best interest of everyone involved requires a decision made not in the heat of the moment, but from a calmer, more reasoned point of view. The greater understanding you have of yourself and the relationship, the clearer this decision will be.5. Discover Self-ForgivenessAs these stages unfold, the injured partner (and the person who committed the infidelity, if working together), will have worked through a lot of painful emotions. The sadness, the fear, the rage (which Ortman notes as a primary symptom), all the emotions at once. At this point, it's essential to forgive yourself for any perceived shortcomings, anything you “missed,” or any self-blame. That can involve feeling naive or stupid for “allowing” such a thing to happen — which is often the voice of self-protection.6. Forgive the Unfaithful PartnerThis is the final stage for a reason — it’s the most difficult. A Buddhist loving-kindness meditation always starts with the self, then moves onto someone you love, then an acquaintance, then someone you have difficulty with. Having compassion for someone who has caused a lot of emotional pain is a huge emotional challenge. Forgiveness is a natural extension of compassion. It doesn’t condone what happened, but it sets the intention to move forwards. Ortman writes:“You recognize how your resentment saps your strength, peace, and contentment. You heal inwardly as the poison of anger is transformed into the medicine of compassion. Through recovery, your broken heart is opened up to love in a deeper way. You may also develop the virtues of generosity, gentleness, patience, and loving-kindness.”It’s vital to note that these stages won’t unfold in an orderly, clean fashion. Like all aspects of relationships, it will be messy. It will take time. Infidelity is exceptionally painful, and the impact can have lasting effects. But remember that you deserve love, you deserve to recover, heal, rebuild trust and learn to open your heart again.Whether that’s with your partner at your side or not is secondary to the process you’ll have to go through. It won’t be easy. But it will be worth it. It will, as Perel says, lead you into the crevices of the human heart, and your capacity to love, heal, and move forwards.KEEP READING How To Rebuild Trust In A Relationship: A 4-Step Process to Regain Trust
Like it or not, relationship milestones are the common way to measure progress in romance. Of course, love isn’t straightforward. Not every relationship meets certain criteria, and love can’t be measured by society’s checklist. But if you’re on the same page as your partner, and wish to demonstrate commitment, there comes a time when you may start to think about the biggest commitment of all: marriage.RELATED: 101 Deep Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend, Girlfriend, or PartnerSociety’s relationship with marriage has changed dramatically in recent times. In 2020, marriage rates in the U.S. dropped to their lowest ever. And the average age people get married has increased, from around 20 years old to closer to 30. Despite this, marriage remains the ultimate expression of love, the seal of approval, and the symbol of your desire to remain loyal to your partner.If you’re in love and feel the romance, you may feel the appeal of getting married. And if you’re considering marriage, you'll likely be contemplating how soon is too soon to propose. While there’s no right or wrong answer, there are important things to consider, to make sure the time is right to pop the question.How Long Does the Average Couple Wait Before Getting Engaged?As social animals, it’s natural to compare. When considering how soon is too soon to propose, it helps to know what other couples choose. The celebrity world is full of stories of A-listers getting married after only months, or weeks, together. But what about the real world? A study of over 3,000 Americans found the average dating time before proposing was around 2.5 years. Interestingly, there are significant differences, state by state. In Indiana, for example, the average is just over 14 months, while in Ohio, the average is 47 months. This might only be half of the picture, though. According to Pew Research Centre, one of the most significant signs of a successful marriage is living together before proposing, with two-thirds of couples saying cohabitation was a step toward marriage.RELATED: Are You in Love? These 5 Proven Signs Will Help You Know for SureThe promising news is that, out of the couples surveyed, those who decided to marry reported higher levels of relationship satisfaction. So, despite the declining numbers of people getting married, it seems marriage has a positive influence on a relationship. According to these statistics, the unhelpful answer of how soon is too soon to propose looks like… it depends.Questions to Consider Before You ProposeThe truth is, there will no doubt be couples who have got married in the early stages of their relationship, who end up in happy marriages. And there will be those who get married after years together, who end up in divorce. Statistics are useful to gauge what most people do, but they say little when it comes to what decision you should make for your relationship. A better way to test this is to consider a number of key questions.What is Your Underlying Motivation for Getting Married?Thankfully Pew Research shows that romance isn’t dead, as most couples marry for love and companionship. However, some couples marry due to financial convenience, and the legal rights that come with the documentation. Others made the decision to demonstrate commitment.Are You and Your Partner on the Same Page? Naturally, proposing is a risk, with high excitement. You never know if your partner will say yes, and when it comes to rejection, the stakes can’t be higher. That’s why it pays to consider, are you and your partner on the same page? You don’t have to completely kill the romance, but at least have a few conversations about what marriage means to you both individually, and what it could represent in your relationship.Marriage isn’t a magic fix, either. Are you considering marriage, believing that the ritual itself can improve your relationship? Or do you feel, considering the current health of your relationship, that marriage is the logical next step? If you are in a healthy, committed, and loving relationship, that alone is a strong sign it’s not too soon to propose.Signs You’re Ready to ProposeIf you’ve read this far and you have a feeling of excitement or butterflies in your stomach, it’s a clear indication you’re emotionally ready to propose. Considering marriage is a balancing act of the romantic and the practical. One extreme might be the cliche of flying to Las Vegas and being married by an Elvis impersonator. The other would be avoiding marriage purely on practical terms, such as finances. If you’re dedicated to getting married, you can find a way that works.Do You Already Live Together?According to research, a big question before considering proposing is whether it’s too soon to move in. If you already live with your partner, and successfully navigated the honeymoon period, the odds are in your favor. Cohabiting is a significant step before marriage, and if you’re enjoying sharing a home with your partner, the chances of a healthy marriage are high.Can You Handle Rejection?Another unconventional sign you’re ready to propose is knowing you’d be okay with your partner saying “no.” Why is this a sign? Because it demonstrates that your trust in the relationship isn’t dependent on your partner saying yes to marriage. It shows that you understand marriage is a big commitment, and if someone isn’t ready, it doesn’t mean that they don’t love you, or even that it’s personal. It shows you trust the way you both communicate and navigate difficult emotions, all signs that you’re in for the long haul.You Plan For the FutureAnd then there are the classic signs: you naturally plan for the future, feel sure that they’re the one, and the thought of commitment is exciting, and not scary. Marriage isn’t the be-all and end-all. But in a world of increasing fears of commitment, disposable relationships, or lack of true intimacy, getting married is an act of love, a demonstration that love stories do still exist. In the words of Kahil Girbran:“You were born together, and together youshall be forevermore.You shall be together when the whitewings of death scatter your days.Ay, you shall be together even in thesilent memory of God.But let there be spaces in your togetherness,And let the winds of the heavens dancebetween you.”This is your love story. Look deep within your heart, look into your partner’s eyes, and trust your gut. How soon is too soon to propose? Deep down, you know the answer to that question, don’t you?KEEP READING Is Your Fear of Intimacy Sabotaging Your Relationships?
Most people know that Adam Sandler has created a massive career and net worth (think $420 million) entertaining audiences on Saturday Night Live and on the big screen for more than three decades. But what many people don’t know is that for the past 22 years, Adam Sandler has enjoyed an unshakeable romance with his wife Jackie Sandler, formerly Jacqueline Samantha Titone. RELATED: Adam Sandler Proves He's the Most Humble Celebrity Out ThereOver the years, the couple has worked together repeatedly, sharing a number of sweet love moments on red carpets. However, for the most part, Jackie keeps a pretty low profile. If you want to know more about Adam Sandler’s wife, Jackie Sandler, you’re in the right place. Read on for everything you need to know about her, as well as the secret to the couple’s long-lasting relationship. Who Is Adam Sandler's Wife, Jackie Titone Sandler?Adam Sandler poses with his bride, model-actress Jackie Titone (Photo by Nick Gossen Courtesy of AdamSandler.com/Getty Images)Even if the name Jacky Sandler doesn’t immediately ring a bell, if you’re a fan of Adam Sandler’s films, there’s a high likelihood that you’ve seen his wife on the big screen. RELATED: Adam Sandler Didn't Listen When a Professor Told Him to StopBorn in Coral Springs, Florida, Jackie got her start in modeling after graduating from Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School, where she was a cheerleader. However, her destiny didn’t lie in Coral Springs. After earning a good living as a fashion model, she decided to pursue a different path: acting. How Did Adam Sandler Meet His Wife?Jackie’s very first film role was in 1999’s Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo. Although it was only a small part (she played Sally), it was one that changed her life forever. The aspiring actress caught the eye of the film’s star, Rob Schneider, who soon put in a good word with his friend, Adam Sandler. That led to Adam casting Jackie in his 1999 movie Big Daddy. Although it was another bit part (she was credited as "Waitress"), it led to something major: marriage.From 'Big Daddy' to a Happy MarriageAdam Sandler and Jacqueline Titone in Big DaddyBig Daddy was released in June 1999, and while it didn’t help Jackie Samantha Titone’s career to blow up, it certainly changed her life. By the time the movie hit theaters, Jackie and Adam had already begun dating, and they didn’t waste any time looking to the future. RELATED: Keanu Reeves and Alexandra Grant Are More Than an Unconventional CoupleThe following year, Jackie converted to Judaism, and, at this point, the daughter of Joseph Titone and Lila Titone had moved far beyond her early modeling career. She was now taking on a new, more permanent role -- that of Jackie Sandler. Her conversion to Judaism obviously meant a lot to Adam, who is proud of his Jewish roots. Since then, Jackie has appeared in many of Adam's films, including 50 First Dates, Just Go With It, Little Nicky, Grown Ups, and Grown Ups 2. After the happy couple tied the knot in a Jewish ceremony in 2003 at Dick Clark’s Malibu estate, they switched their focus to family. They welcomed their first child together, daughter Sadie, in 2006. Daughter Sunny followed in 2008.How Fatherhood Changed Adam SandlerYou may not be able to picture the Happy Gilmore actor as a dad, but, as he once told The Huffington Post, family means everything to him. "My kids give me the most joy, but there are life adjustments," Adam said. "I don't go out to meet anyone after 9:30 at night. I eat dinner at 6 or 7. If someone makes me stay out until 10:30 at night, I'm angry the entire next day because I'm exhausted."RELATED: The Real Reason Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock Never DatedAdam revealed that he’s “a worrier." "I’ve learned in life now that when your kid is upset you’re rocked until they’re not upset anymore," he said. "Even when they’re not upset, you’re rocked.”“You’re always nervous because you want your kid to be happy" he continued. "Now, I understand why my folks were always saying, ‘Be nice and be safe. Make sure everyone in the family is OK. That’s the most important thing. Making sure everyone in the family is OK is the most important thing. If the family hurts then you hurt.”Jackie Sandler's Support of Adam Is UnconditionalAdam Sandler and his wife Jackie Titone (Photo: VALERY HACHE/AFP via Getty Images)While Jackie’s film career may not match her husband’s, she’s never allowed his success to drive a wedge into their relationship. In fact, she has offered her husband nothing but support -- even when it comes to kissing other women onscreen.RELATED: Why Jada Pinkett Smith & Will Smith Felt Like They Didn't Know Each Other After 22 YearsIn fact, Jackie encouraged Adam in his sometimes-steamy scenes with longtime friend, and frequent rom-com co-star, Drew Barrymore. "The best thing is that my wife likes Drew so much that she, like, encourages me," he told Ellen DeGeneres. "There's no jealousy at all. She's just like, 'Get in there.'"The funnyman, who is a hopeless romantic, went on to reveal that once on the Blended set, while filming a love scene, he was sure he was doing a good job, “like – OK, moving on, let’s go, that was great, Drew. Good job.” That was until Jackie told him otherwise. “And I’m walking away and I just see my wife like shaking her head, and she says, ‘Just please, for the sake of women, get in there and just look a little more alive!” Sometimes Jackie Can Be a Little TOO Supportive on SetAdam shared a similar anecdote during the promotion of 2019’s Murder Mystery, in which he and Jennifer Aniston play a married couple. True to form, Jackie had a cameo, this time as a Flight Attendant. When asked about working with his real-life wife and his onscreen wife at the same time, Adam told the The Associated Press, "The only awkward part is hearing my wife on the side going, ‘Harder! Harder! Kiss her harder! Deeper!'”But Jackie’s support goes well beyond encouraging her husband’s romantic portrayals. As the actor told Ellen in 2019, she also gives him the courage to take risks. Speaking about his decision to take on a role outside his comfort zone and portray a gambling addict in crime drama Uncut Gems, he revealed, “I read it, I loved the movie, but I was scared to do it. Then I asked Jackie to read it. “We do this together, me and Jackie, we discuss what I’m going to do, and she gives me strength and courage to jump into this stuff,” he admitted, adding that Jackie loved the script and was the one who pushed him to accept the role.The Secret to Adam & Jackie Sandler's MarriageAdam and Jackie Sandler have been together for 22 years, and their bond is as strong as it’s ever been. Celebrating their wedding anniversary in July 2020, the actor recalled on Instagram how, “22 years ago today we locked eyes and fell deep. Look forward to the next 22, young lady. Love you my forever girl.” RELATED: Carrie Underwood & Mike Fisher's Romance Proves the Power of Taking ChancesOpening up about their secret to wedded bliss, Sandler told Closer Weekly that it’s as simple as it gets. According to the comedian, it’s “just getting time together. Making sure that you don’t run off too long and hanging out together and telling the truth and that kind of thing’s good."He also noted the importance of being honest and spending time together while chatting with ET Canada, saying that, when you share a deep connection, “you know when your wife’s not the happiest she’s ever been, or husband, and it’s good to [talk it out]. Just an hour hanging out together makes us rocking again.”If I feel the energy of ‘I can’t stand you Adam,’ I say ‘Come on, let’s head down the road, let’s get you something’ and we’re sitting, just talking. I’ll just listen to [Jackie] talk about anything [she] wants to talk about.There are multiple facets to every personality, and just because Adam Sandler has made a name for himself in comedies doesn’t mean that’s all there is to him. The actor’s 22-year relationship sure proves that, as does his down-to-earth approach to marriage and his devotion to his family. Making a union work doesn’t require huge gestures or magic. As Adam and Jackie Sandler show us, something as simple (and underrated) as carving out ‘us time,’ talking every day and listening to one another can make all the difference. Falling in love at first sight doesn’t hurt either!KEEP READING: How Julia Roberts & George Clooney's Lifelong Friendship Helped "Save" One Another
We’ve become accustomed to certain archetypes of Hollywood relationships. There’s the young, adorable couple that doesn't mind splashing a blossoming love story across social media. There are the co-stars who engage in clandestine onset flings amid infidelity suspicions. And then there is the older man who proudly romances a woman half his age. Most people expected Pierce Brosnan to fall into the latter category, just like many of his peers. Although the Irish actor fits the bill, he subverted these assumptions in a striking, unapologetic fashion. Pierce Brosnan and Keely Shaye Smith have been happily married for 20 years. RELATED: Pierce Brosnan's Challenging Experiences With Fatherhood and Death Reveal a Powerful LessonTheir journey has been as lovely and passionate as one can imagine. However, Keely has been the target of vicious hate in recent years for an absolutely unjustified, unacceptable reason. Thankfully, the James Bond star wouldn’t have it. He didn’t hesitate to come to his wife’s defense, and shower her with love in front of the judgmental public. Here’s what we can learn from his actions.Pierce Brosnan's Wife Keely Came Into His Life at Just the Right Time Keely and Pierce Brosnan on their wedding day in 1994 (Photo: Instagram)The actor, who rose to fame as TV's Remington Steele, was a widower in 1994 when he met journalist Keely Shaye Smith. His first wife, Cassandra Harris, sadly died in December 1991 from ovarian cancer. Understandably, Pierce didn’t know how he could begin to cope with her loss. Not only was he now caring for their son, Sean, but he was also raising Cassandra's children, Christopher and Charlotte. He adopted the two after their father, Dermot Harris, died. It was a demanding period for Pierce. His career may have been blossoming, but single fatherhood was no walk in the park. In addition, his oldest child, Christopher, had developed an alcohol addiction.Keely arrived in his life at just the right time. Reflecting on their first meeting, Pierce wrote on Instagram, "Twenty-eight years ago this day, April 8th, 1994, we met in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico." Keely had been in Cabo to interview Cheers star Ted Danson. However, when the interview fell through, Keely instead mingled with party attendees. That's when she crossed paths with Pierce, and the rest, as they say, is history. Speaking to People in 2021, Keely recalled the moment enthusiastically. "He was captivating," she said. His "tall, dark and handsome" features captured her right away, and the two connected immediately. Three days later, they had their first date, which was so enthralling that they stayed up talking until 3 a.m. Pierce Brosnan & Keely Shaye Smith Wed in 2001During the first couple of years, they couldn't bear to spend time apart. "Wherever I went in the world I missed her, and I’d send her tickets to come so we could be together," Pierce told People. "We just seemed to fit."He also credits Keely for bringing him grace and strength at a time when he was running low on both. He was disillusioned and overwhelmed by his career. Keely's arrival stabilized Pierce, enabling him to slow down and focus on the here and the now. He also said Keely encourages him to mourn his first wife, Cassandra, as much as much as possible. Pierce referred to Keely as his "North Star," who is always "looking out for him."It was only a matter of time until they made things official. The couple exchanged vows in 2001 in Ireland, and welcomed sons Dylan and Paris in 1997 and 2001, respectively. It’s been a wonderful three decades for the James Bond star and wife Keely Shaye Smith, and their passion only seems to deepen. I found a great woman in Keely Shaye. Not if I searched a million times over would I find one as good.PIERCE BROSNANThrough her support, Pierce was able to step up and undertake the challenging but rewarding responsibilities associated with fatherhood. On Aug. 5, 2021, Pierce wrote a wonderful anniversary tribute to his wife. “Happy anniversary my darling Keely, my love forever grows with you,” he wrote in the Instagram post, which was accompanied by two photos of the couple, taken 20 years apart. The images captured the heartwarming evolution of their romance. Why Pierce Brosnan Had to Fire Back At Critics for His WifeThe photos Pierce Brosnan shared in 2021 to celebrate his and Keely's anniversary (Screenshot: Instagram)There’s no reason for the public to say anything less than positive about the couple. They nevertheless found a way. The rancor was directed at Keely's appearance -- particularly her weight. For some reason, there was almost a feeling of shock and disgust. How dare Pierce settle down with someone age-appropriate and human-shaped? Someone who is not size-zero? If he has all of that money and influence, why is he tying himself to a seemingly ordinary woman?As Pierce stated, it wasn't only your run-of-the-mill keyboard warriors who ripped into Keely for her body. Close friends and family joined in on the derision. "Friends offered her surgery to reduce her weight," he said. In his eyes, Keely is the most beautiful woman in the world, not just in terms of physical appearance, but also because she's the maternal force keeping the family grounded, raising their five children with the utmost care and devotion. The love Keely showers upon Pierce is so potent that it doesn't matter how the outside world perceives. Friends offered her surgery to reduce her weight. But I strongly love every curve of her body.. She is the most beautiful woman in my eyes. And also because she had our five children. PIERCE BROSNAN Pierce Brosnan's Love for His Wife Goes Beyond BeautyPeople forget you’re allowed to gain weight and defy conventional beauty standards. Your entire world doesn’t have to revolve around whether you fit the mold and if you’re able to squeeze yourself into a specific size. As you get older, other areas become your priorities, and you don’t necessarily need external validation to provide you with confidence and self-belief. Pierce himself made it clear he appreciates Keely for who she is and not what she looks like. When you decide to commit to someone, you agree to evolve with them and adapt your outlook to their changes. If love were a one-and-done deal, we wouldn’t have spent millennia trying to unpack its complexities. Pierce loves her curves and her imperfections, and he doesn’t care in the least bit if some random folks on the internet are griping about her body, a stranger’s body they have nothing to do with. In fact, the Mamma Mia actor went above and beyond, to share that he’s always fancied Keely for her personality and kind heart. “In the past, I truly loved her for her person, not only for her beauty, and now I’m loving her even more that she is my children’s mother, and I am very proud of her, and I always seek to be worthy of her love,” he said on Hollywood Star. Pierce's Thoughtful Response Says Volumes About Unconditional LoveIn one sense, Pierce shouldn’t even dignify the hateful sentiment with a response, much less justify why he still desires her 20 years on. On the other hand, it’s adorable to see an older couple express their love and fondness for each other. Moreover, it’s so common for older Hollywood actors to hook up with young, appealing women 30 or so years younger that it’s kind of oddly defiant of Pierce to stick with the same woman and maintain the affection. It once again speaks to the expectations women have to endure in terms of body and beauty. They can’t afford to "let themselves go" at any point, and must always look more attractive than their male counterparts if they want to "deserve" romance. If they veer off the norm at any instance, they’re basically permitting the men to drop them like they’re a disposal object and pursue other women as they please. Pierce places his wife on a pedestal not for her perceived beauty, but for the role she’s played in his life. She lifted him from despair, and allowed him to flourish and find his footing in a world so full of misery and resentment. No wonder Pierce doesn't hesitate in boldly declaring his love for Keely over social media time and again. On Aug. 5, 2022, he posted their wedding photo, writing, "We danced that night and still dance the dance today. I could do it all again."The actor, who next stars opposite Dwayne Johnson in Black Adam, is fully aware that appearances and physical attraction can only mean so much as you get older. Once the responsibilities pile up, you'd rather have someone reliable by your side. What Pierce Brosnan and Keely's Story Tells Us About LovePierce and Keely are devoted to one another. They pay little mind to what others have to say about them. As you get older, you realize it’s not the vain ideals that allow romantic passion to thrive. It’s the intellectual, emotional connection that establishes attraction and desire. You’re with someone not just for how they excite you in a physical sense; you’re with them because they are essentially a part of you, and you wouldn’t want to have anyone else’s company. That doesn’t mean there's no longer infatuation. It's simply means you value them for more than their body and the materialistic notions of beauty. Pierce’s dedication to Keely demonstrates how you don’t have to worry about outsider opinions. As long as you continue to hold your partner in high esteem and are willing to overcome the most minute "imperfections," you’ll be able to find lasting fulfillment. Those opinions don’t have to change a thing and only serve to remind you that your love is superior to these shallow conversations that fluctuate with the tides. More inspiring stories:Why Pierce Brosnan Is Still Besotted With His Wife After 26 YearsHere’s How Idris Elba’s Marriage Survived, Despite His Massive Anger IssuesKevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick’s Secret to a Happy 32-Year Marriage Will Surprise YouWhy We Need to Talk About Kim Kardashian’s Emotional Breakdown Over Her Marriage
Think back to the early days of a passionate relationship you’ve had – and yes, it’s just fine (and in fact is absolutely great) if the relationship that comes to mind is the long-term one you remain in with your current significant other.What are some of the things you noticed about him or her in those early days when you were in the so-called “fireworks” stage of the romance? Did you notice how charmingly he stuck out the tip of his tongue when thinking or how she always curled a few strands of her hair around a finger when she was nervous? Did you notice how he always laughed before he could finish a joke or funny story or how she would always lose her train of thought when a cute dog passed nearby?RELATED: These First Date Tips Will Pretty Much Guarantee a Second DateChances are good that, in those early days, you tended to notice the positive characteristics of your partner and to perceive their quirks as charming. Now reflect, honestly, on how you felt (or feel) about that person a bit longer into the relationship – chances are good that you, at some point, started to notice their not-so-positive traits, and that some of their quirks began to be sources of annoyance; maybe even some of those things by which you were once charmed came to be grating?Why does this happen as we travel farther into a relationship – why do we at some point begin to see less positives in our partner and begin to see their shortcomings more and more? In most cases, it’s because the passion dies down. And that’s not just anecdotal, that’s true according to science.Passionate Love, Briefly Defined(Getty)When you hear the word “passionate love” your first thoughts may be of a cheesy romance novel, of a “not safe for work” movie scene, or of the lyrics to a saccharine sweet love song from the 1960s. As it happens, passionate love is not a salacious or silly term at all, but one that’s as meaningful from a relationship standpoint as it is from an analytical standpoint.To break the term down, first look at one of the definitions of the word “passion” taken from the Merriam-Webster Dictionary: “a strong liking or desire for or devotion to some activity, object, or concept.”Next, just for kicks, as love is both universally understood yet almost impossible to define, let’s look at a dictionary take on the word love: “the object of attachment, devotion, or admiration.”RELATED: 7 Dating Tips for IntrovertsPut the two together, and you have not a trite or sexualized concept (though of course a passionate, loving couple should have sex as a large part of the equation) but a term describing people who profoundly care for each other and desire the affection and attention of the other.Simply put, passionate love is the prevailing emotion we should feel for our romantic partner; it is a type of love quite unlike that which we feel for a parent, friend, or pet. And, unlike these other types of love, it is one that will only remain strong if both we and our romantic partner remain actively engaged and invested in the relationship.Passionate Love and the “Positivity Bias”Why is passionate love – this devotion and caring – so important for a lasting, mutually beneficial relationship between romantic partners? Because it is passionate love that helps us keep on seeing the best in our partner – our so-called “better half” can only be that better person if we allow ourselves to see them as such.A recent study found that passionate love (which was therein briefly described as “an intense longing for union with another," which can be the case when the couple is physically separated for a time or not, to be clear – union does not imply reunion nor, again, does it necessarily imply or eschew sex) is critical for creation of and maintenance of that “positivity bias” that lets us keep on seeing the good in our partner even when there are negative traits as well.RELATED: 25+ Fun Date Ideas for Every RelationshipAnd in fact, the stronger the sense of shared passionate love is between a couple, the more both partners are also able to overlook the negative traits of the other person. True, deep, and actualized love seems to let people focus on the good things in their significant other while allowing them to also willfully put on blinders and ignore much of the bad stuff – or at least the less positive traits, shall we say.Maintaining a Sense of Passionate Love Over the Course of a Long Relationship(Unsplash)You cannot choose to love someone – not the passionate love that you feel for a romantic partner, at any rate. But you can fail to preserve and maintain that love, or you can very much choose to tend and preserve and even increase that love.It may seem trite, but the best way to keep up the love is to keep on making the time and putting in the effort. You should take the time to “date” your partner even long into the partnership, even if that just means a special meal at home. You should say thanks when thanks are do and do little things (and big things) that merit a “thank you.” And you should of course keep up the passion in the more carnal sense, as well. When passionate love exists, both members of the union tend to contribute what experts call “prorelationship” behaviors. These included everything from little acts of thoughtfulness, like preparing a meal or cleaning up after one without your partner’s help so he or she is spared a bit of burden. This also extends to much larger acts of devotion or sacrifice, such as a willingness to relocate homes or change careers to support the other half.On the flip side, of course, when passionate love fades, so too will those prorelationship behaviors often dry up. The result can be a partnership where there is not much love left, nor is there very much effort or consideration being put into the partnership, and that can lead to a spiral toward a dissolution of the partnership.KEEP READING:Is Envy Harming Your Relationship? It’s Time to Understand the Three Dimensions of Jealousy
No matter how you look at it—or the specifics of your marriage and its end—going through a divorce is difficult. It’s a painful loss. It’s a failure. It’s an emotional rollercoaster that just about no one planned for or wants to be on. And it takes a lot of strength, perseverance, self-love, grace, and patience to get through it. Especially for women, who tend to take the brunt of caring for the children and themselves along this challenging journey.And like a death by a thousand cuts, the pain of divorce can keep coming at you with a mind-boggling array of hurts, large and small. Sometimes, you might even wonder if this emotional turmoil will ever end, as the brutal assault of practical issues like child support, alimony, and who keeps the house and the dog just keeps coming. RELATED: Ed Sheeran’s Most Inspiring Quotes and Lyrics to Live a Happier LifeBut we’re here to tell you it will. Even better, you can come out stronger, happier, and wiser on the other side. In the meantime, draw strength from motivational quotes for women that can help you cope while going through a divorce. Here are 12 of the best divorce quotes for women to help you find strength—and motivate, inspire, and embolden you along the way.Find strength by reading uplifting divorce quotes. Know that you’re not alone. And rather than looking at divorce as an ending or a failure, aim to see it as a powerful, exciting, brave new beginning.“Divorce, the end of an error.” - Unknown(Unsplash)While divorce is undoubtedly a serious, heart-wrenching matter, try to see the humor in it—and reframe it as a logical step toward the goal of improving your life. If your marriage wasn’t happy or fulfilling, focus on the positives that the divorce will bring. It’s the solution to the problem, one that you can take pride in. It’s brave to walk away from an unsatisfying or unhealthy relationship. RELATED: Euphoria Quotes: The Show’s Most Biting and Powerful Quotes – And What They Say about YouThe divorce is like pulling off the bandage that will finally let your wounds heal—and let you thrive.“Half of all marriages end in divorce...” - Joan Rivers (Getty)“Half of all marriages end in divorce—and then there are the really unhappy ones.” - Joan Rivers It’s good to remember that getting divorced puts you in good company, as about half of marriages don’t last. Comedian Joan Rivers also reminds us, as she wrote in her memoir Bouncing Back, that just because the other half stays together doesn’t mean they’re happy. Sure, many long-married couples are still in love and enjoying fulfilling relationships, however, others are simply enduring. They might still be married but they might be suffering, too. RELATED: Grey’s Anatomy’s Deepest Quotes about Love, Life, and LossSo, when you look around at all the couples around you, consider that a few—or maybe more—of them might be just as miserable as you were once. But now, you get to remake your life and find the happiness you were missing.“Be the heroine of your life...” - Nora Ephron(Getty)“Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.” - Nora EphronThe life of a woman after marriage can be challenging but it can also be empowering. Renowned writer Nora Ephron tells us to be the star of our own stories. Center your own wants, dreams, needs, and questions, then make your life around them. Instead of focusing on what didn’t work out or what happened to you, take control of your own destiny. RELATED: 50 Inspirational Quotes to Uplift and MotivateDon’t wait for a partner to save you, protect you, or comfort you—you can do those things for yourself. Be your own hero because you are more than worthy and enough just as you are.“Be determined. Be hopeful. Be empowered.” – Michelle Obama(Getty)“Don’t be afraid. Be focused. Be determined. Be hopeful. Be empowered.” – Michelle ObamaDivorce and the reality of being alone and needing to remake your life can be scary, overwhelming, and lonely. But former First Lady Michelle Obama invites you to let go of those fears and believe in yourself. RELATED: 128 Leadership Quotes to Inspire You to Become a Better LeaderYou’re more capable, smarter, and stronger than you ever imagined. Think about the life you want to lead, then go after it. Good things will come your way.“I don’t have time for hate or negativity in my life...” - Reese Witherspoon(Getty)“There are things in my life that are hard to reconcile, like divorce. Sometimes it is very difficult to make sense of how it could possibly happen. Laying blame is so easy. I don’t have time for hate or negativity in my life. There’s no room for it.”- Reese Witherspoon.Movie star Reese Witherspoon has been through heartache just like the rest of us. But instead of getting mired in self-pity, doubt, or blame, she chooses to focus her attention on positivity and love. Yes, it’s understandable to feel defeated, hurt, abandoned, or mistreated, so give yourself time and permission to process those emotions. RELATED: 105 Strong Women Quotes to Celebrate Feminine PowerThen, aim to let the negativity and regret go. Make the bold decision to embrace and foster the good that’s left—or yet to come—in your life.“A divorce is always a good thing to have...” - Edith Wharton“A divorce is always a good thing to have: you never can tell when you may want it.” - Edith Wharton It might make you laugh to read writer Edith Wharton’s sentiment, in the book Custom of the Country: “A divorce is always a good thing to have: you never can tell when you may want it.” However, there is great wisdom embedded in this wry humor. RELATED: 120 Hope Quotes That Will Get You Through Any Tough TimesWhile it’s optimistic to think a marriage will last, the truth is that you never really know. So, the smart move is to know that if yours isn’t the happily ever after you’d imagined, then getting divorced can be a logical remedy. Divorce doesn’t have to be the tragedy or failure everyone assumes, instead, it can simply be the way to put an end to something that’s not working. "Divorce isn't such a tragedy...” - Jennifer Weiner(IG)"Divorce isn't such a tragedy. A tragedy's staying in an unhappy marriage, teaching your children the wrong things about love.” - Jennifer WeinerAuthor Jennifer Weiner, in her novel, Fly Away Home, reminds us that you—and your happiness—matter. Don’t feel like a failure for leaving a toxic marriage, feel empowered and inspired. It takes courage and grit and immense self-love to let go of an unhappy marriage. RELATED: Top 20 Inspiring Oprah Winfrey Quotes That Will Empower YouEmbrace your own strength and be proud of expecting more from your life (and how you want to love) rather than staying in a relationship that isn’t what you want. "I do not believe that there were more happy marriages before divorce…” - Ann Patchett(Getty)"I do not believe that there were more happy marriages before divorce became socially acceptable, that people tried harder, got through their rough times, and were better off. I believe that more people suffered.” - Ann PatchettThis quote from writer Ann Patchett in This is the Story of a Happy Marriage, speaks to the bravery of choosing divorce over suffering in an unhappy marriage. Instead of beating yourself up for not working hard enough to make your marriage a success, embrace the idea that you had the courage and self-love necessary to set yourself free.“Take a deep breath and try again...” - KT Witten(IG)“Your dream doesn’t have an expiration date. Take a deep breath and try again.” - KT WittenJust because one marriage ended doesn’t mean your next relationship is doomed to suffer the same fate. You don’t only get one shot at love. So, dust yourself off and be brave enough to try again, says poet KT Witten.“Sometimes good things fall apart...” – Marilyn Monroe(Getty)“Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” – Marilyn MonroeGoing through a divorce can be brutal—but it's also a journey that makes you stronger as you remake your life. Take insights from your failed romance in order to learn how to build trust In a relationship for the next time around. RELATED: She-Hulk’s Sexual Liberation Is Crucial for Marvel and Disney+Because something better is on the horizon. Iconic actress Marilyn Monroe shares that not every relationship is meant to last—and just because it ends doesn't mean it wasn’t good at the start. Plus, remember that calling it quits on a now-so-so romance is the only way to make room for one that’s even better.“It feels like a weight has been lifted..." - Catt Sadler(Getty)"Divorce is never easy. I don't care who you are or what the circumstances are. It's a very, very heavy feeling, and at the same time, it feels like a weight has been lifted." - Catt SadlerYes, divorce can knock the wind out of you, but no one ever died of divorce. So, take a deep breath, give yourself grace, but keep your eye on the horizon. In fact, says entertainment reporter Catt Sadler, on the other side of the pain is a breath of fresh air that feels a lot like freedom.“I used to hope that you’d bring me flowers...” - Rachel Wolchin(IG)“I used to hope that you’d bring me flowers. Now, I plant my own.” - Rachel WolchinIn this quote, popular blogger Rachel Wolchin shares one powerful way to get over a breakup: Take ownership of your life and happiness. Recognize the ways your relationship was broken or codependent. Seek to notice and remake those patterns, so that in your next romance you can avoid tying your happiness to another person. Rather, go out and plant your own flowers. No more waiting for another person to “complete” you. Instead, find fulfillment and happiness within yourself—then you’ll be ready to share it with someone new.KEEP READING:13 Self Worth Quotes to Help Build Your Confidence & Self Esteem
With 17 years of wedded bliss, Robert Downey Jr. and Susan Levin (now Downey) make up one of Hollywood’s most enviable couples. Their love story isn’t a traditional one, however. Before she was known as "Robert Downey Jr.'s wife," or the co-founder of Team Downey, the longtime film producer met the actor at one of his lowest points. Robert had just spent close to a year in jail and finished court-ordered rehab for his widely publicized addiction.Robert could have lost his movie career for good. But then, in 2002, he talked his way into a role in a thriller called Gothika by agreeing to get most of his pay after filming. The experience changed his life, in more ways than one. Robert Downey Jr. not only met his future wife, but also the person who would turn his entire world upside down — in the best way possible. On Aug. 27, 2005, the couple said “I do” after two years of engagement. In 2012, they had their first child, son Exton Elias Downey, then welcomed daughter Avri Roel Downey in 2014. (Robert also has a son, Indio Falconer Downey, from his marriage to singer Deborah Falconer.)How Susan Levin & Robert Downey Jr. Worked Through Their DifferencesSusan Downey and Robert Downey Jr. (Photo by Michael Buckner/WireImage for New Line Cinema)How Did Susan Downey Meet Robert Downey Jr.?Robert met Susan in 2003, on the set of the supernatural thriller Gothika, her “first full-credit producing job." (She was co-president of Dark Castle Entertainment, and executive vice president of production of Silver Pictures.) However, it wasn’t love at first sight. Far from it. RELATED: Robert Downey Jr.: Never Give UpAsked In 2009 whether she was immediately attracted to her husband, Susan laughingly admitted to Harper’s Bazaar, "Not even a little bit. The main thing I remember about meeting him was thinking how strange he was.” “I thought he was a brilliant actor, but it didn't go beyond that," she added. "I saw him more like a professor or someone's older brother.” Years later, Susan again noted how she initially thought Robert was “interesting but weird.” To illustrate her point, she recalled a dinner with cast and crew during which “everybody else ordered Japanese, but Robert told us how oatmeal was the 'super-food'. He brought his own packets of oatmeal to have at lunch. And he had this box of various herbs and stuff. And then he started doing these yoga moves." But the producer’s feelings began to change a few weeks later, as the pair got to know each other. Remembering the exact moment when she began to view the actor in a different light, Susan said, “One day [after filming], when we were on the treadmills, Robert goes, 'Levin, you wanna go to dinner?' and I said, 'Eh, I'll grab something to eat.’ So we agreed to go change and meet in the lobby and as he walked down the stairs toward me, I remember looking up at him and suddenly thinking, ‘He's really cute.’"She Believed in "Running Toward What Scares You”Photo: InstagramAn attraction may have begun to develop, but the actor and the producer couldn’t have been more different. As The Hollywood Reporter pointed out, Susan was an honor student who graduated summa cum laude from the University of Southern California. Robert, meanwhile, was a high school drop-out and recovering addict who had struggled with substance abuse for years. RELATED: What Is Emily Blunt and John Krasinski's Secret to Staying Fantastic Forever?Luckily, the differences didn’t faze Susan one bit. "I think there's something about running toward what scares you,” she told Harper’s Bazaar, admitting she chose to follow her heart rather than get hung up reservations about incompatibility."More than anything, I never doubted it,” she said. “There was something in my gut that knew really quickly. I knew three months in that this was it."Six months later, Robert proposed. However, just because Susan was following her gut didn’t mean she was doing so blindly. When He Nearly Reverted to His Old Ways, She Wasn’t Having It"I did meet Darth Vader, for like a minute, right after the movie wrapped," Susan recalled of Robert's addiction. "I said immediately, 'This isn't gonna work.' I made it clear that to stay with me, nothing could happen."RELATED: How Seth Rogen and Lauren Miller Rogen’s Dedication to Charity Has Enhanced Their 20 Year RelationshipTheir love was so strong that it gave Robert the ultimate push he needed to change things for good. In July 2003, he reportedly tossed is remaining drugs into the ocean, and vowed to never touch them again. Susan credited the power of true love. "I think he saw what we had," she said. "There was something magical there, something we couldn't put our finger on.”Their Relationship Is “Perfectly Symbiotic”Photo: InstagramAccording to Harper’s Bazaar, Susan’s unofficial nickname in Hollywood is "The Miracle That Saved Robert Downey Jr." The Iron Man star certainly agrees with that assessment. He credits Susan with inspiring him to do better."I guess the only way to explain it is that I've become more like her,” he revealed. She Didn’t Just Help Overcome His Demons, She Helped Build a Successful CareerSpeaking in 2010 with the Herald, Robert admitted, "The old saying is true — behind every good man there's an incredible woman. I owe a huge amount — if not all — of my success to Susan. We make a great team." Case in point: His love helped Robert to snag some of his most high-profile roles in Hollywood, including that of Tony Star in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. There's also the lead in Sherlock Holmes, after Susan told director Guy Ritchie that he’d be great for the part. (Susan was a producer on Sherlock Holmes and its 2011 sequel.)RELATED: Gisele Bündchen’s Feelings on Tom Brady’s Return to Football Reveal the Challenges That Come with a 13-Year MarriageBut it wasn’t a one-way street, by any means. Robert has also had a positive impact on wife Susan. Before meeting Robert, Susan was “very focused, driven, rigid, work-oriented. I didn't care about having a family or making a home. I didn't think about kids. [...] And then I had someone who came in as a tornado, this creative, beautiful ball of insane energy and passion. And it completely opened me up."They Make Each Other Better Photo: InstagramAs Susan shared with Harper’s Bazaar, they’re stronger as a unit than they’ve ever been apart. "He always says that we became this third thing when we got together — something that neither of us could have become by ourselves — and I think that's true," she gushed. RELATED: Paul Bettany’s Hilarious Response to Jennifer Connelly’s Triumph Says A Lot About Their 20-Year MarriageGuy Ritchie may have summed it up best, however, when he called their relationship “perfectly symbiotic." “They each represent the other side of each other's coin," he said. "There's no clashing over the same space, although they're always looking in the same direction. It's a very rare thing they have."If there’s one thing everyone can learn from Robert and Susan, it’s that a successful relationship requires mutual respect and admiration. The union cannot be lopsided. Rather, it must be a perfect balance in which both parties feel fulfilled and empowered to be the best possible versions of themselves at all times, both individually and together. More inspiring love stories:Mandy Moore and Taylor Goldsmith Rebuilt Their Marriage From “Trauma”Meryl Streep Fought Through the Tragic Loss of Her First Love to Find HappinessHow Idris Elba and Sabrina Dhowre’s Love Broke Their RulesAmy Schumer and Chris Fischer’s Marriage Blossomed From Their Idiosyncrasies
*Featured image contains photo by Mika Baumeister on UnsplashDivorce is never easy, especially when you didn’t see it coming. Laura Williams certainly didn’t see herself dissolving her marriage in her late forties, yet when she found herself single again, she took the opportunity to rediscover herself in the most empowering way possible. And now she’s sharing that story of self-love.The Event That Led a Married Couple to Break Up After 22 YearsPhoto by Timur WeberWilliams had been married to her husband for 22 years when he revealed he was having an affair. She and her partner met when they were in college and had set up a pretty nice life for themselves: Three kids, a Manhattan apartment, and a country house. So she was understandably shocked by the sudden twist in her relationship narrative.RELATED: Why a Woman and Her Ex's New Wife Became Best Friends - And Family“Our sex life wasn’t great anymore. There wasn’t really any passion between us. But I had expected that,” Williams explained to the New York Post.I was 47 years old and I expected to be with the same man for the rest of my life.Laura WilliamsInstead, she asked her husband to leave the house and began divorce proceedings, unexpectedly starting over again.How One Woman Picked Herself Back Up After a DivorcePhoto by Andre FurtadoWith her husband out of the house, Williams began to think about what she really wanted in her own life. She decided that since she had never really dated before, it was now or never. So she downloaded a dating app and began going on blind dates. Suddenly she rediscovered parts of herself she hadn’t paid attention to in years, if ever.“You now have the freedom to do whatever you want,” Williams added to the Post. “If you want to sleep with two men on the same day, you can. If you want to have a tryst in the middle of the day, you’re free."The only person who can judge you is yourself. And if you’re fine with it, screw everyone else.Laura WilliamsRELATED: Dad Invites Stepdad To Walk Daughter Down The Aisle, Sends Powerful Message About DivorceWilliams went on to sleep with 10 different men in eight months, a journey she chronicles in her book, Available: A Very Honest Account of Life After Divorce. In it, she recalls everything from “an incredible one-night stand” to one tryst she said yes to because she was still falling into the “nice, PTA mom” version of herself. She realized through that experience she was saying yes even if it wasn’t something she necessarily wanted to do.“[The question was] do I feel like sleeping with you now?” Williams added to the Post. “And it’s a literal yes or no. I don’t really care about anything else. You don’t even have to be a good person. It doesn’t matter.”The Lesson One Woman Learned After Rediscovering HerselfPhoto by Los Muertos CrewDuring her romantic adventures, this strong woman took the opportunity to learn more about what makes guys work by asking them honest questions about what they liked, what they didn’t like, and how they felt about certain things. “Because I missed out on knowing that. And I wanted to understand adult men,” she added.RELATED: Wife Of 26 Years Brutally Dumped For Younger Woman Gets Ultimate Revenge“I didn’t buy into the theory that because I was older, I was less desirable,” she continued. “Men were very attracted to the fact I was a strong woman who didn’t want anything from them and was calling the shots.”According to Williams, calling those shots wasn’t just because she felt so empowered; it was also because she was still balancing being a mom with babysitters and other responsibilities. “If I was having a good date and a man would kiss me goodbye, I would tell them, ‘Okay, I have two hours. Let’s go back to your place,’” she explained. Through it all, Williams revealed she met someone special, but after everything she has been through and all that she has learned about herself, she’s still hesitant to call it a 'relationship.' To her, having openness and freedom is something she now enjoys too much to give up easily.“The sex was important to me. It made me alive when I felt dead inside,” she wrapped.I found strength that I didn’t know I had. And I also found openness and sexual curiosity that I didn’t ever in a million years imagine I was capable of.Laura WilliamsHow a Divorced Woman Proved the Importance of Starting OverPhoto by cottonbroWilliams may not have expected her previous life to blow up the way it did, but by embracing self-learning, being open, and capturing agency for herself as a woman she learned valuable lessons about happiness and starting over.Everyone is different and on their own paths in life, but Williams’ story has takeaways for all of us. Mainly that it’s never too late to start over in life, even when you had no intentions of having to start over. Whether you’ve lost a loved one, have been forced to reconsider your current work situation, or are in need of a midlife jolt, we’re always learning and rediscovering things about ourselves and others. Keep an open mind and you never know what (or who!) you may find.KEEP READING:A Year Ago, She Was Heartbroken After Divorce - Today She Makes Over $50K A Month With Her Passionit's never too lateDon't be afraid to start over; everyone is on different paths in life.
Having a fancy piece of jewelry is nice, but when it comes to matters of the heart the size of a ring or how much it costs isn’t what truly matters. You can’t put a price tag on love, and one woman took to social media to remind people of that after an unpleasant experience ring-shopping with her fiancé.Why A Pandora Clerk Called A Woman's Engagement Ring "Pathetic"Photo by Andre Jackson on UnsplashBack in November 2016, Ariel McRae and her partner, Quinn McRae, were shopping for ring sets at the local mall in Martin, Tennessee. They were at a Pandora store when Ariel eyed a sterling silver, pearl, and cubic zirconia set for $130. But as they were looking at the rings with a kind associate, another came over and rained on their parade.RELATED: Man Defends Mother Who Got Body-Shamed By Rude Plane Passenger“Y'all, can you believe that some men get these as engagement rings? How pathetic,” she said, as per a subsequent Facebook post by Ariel. “Poor Quinn’s face fell and I was a little baffled,” she continued.“He already felt bad because he couldn't afford the pear-shaped set that so obviously had my heart and covered my Pinterest page. He already felt like a failure, asking me again and again ‘Are you sure you'll be happy with these? Are you sure this is okay?’ He was so upset at the idea of not making me happy enough and of me not wanting to marry him because my rings didn't cost enough money or weren't flashy enough.”One Woman's Perfect Response To A Rude Pandora EmployeePhoto by Jackie Tsang on UnsplashDespite feeling rather upset over how the associate handled the whole situation, Ariel decided to turn it (and her relationship) into a teachable moment. “Old Ariel would have ripped that woman a new one,” she wrote. “Mature Ariel said, ‘It isn't the ring that matters, it is the love that goes into buying one that matters.’ We bought the rings and left.”Once she got home though, Ariel decided to post about the experience — not just because it happened, but because other people in her life also seemed dissatisfied over the rings she loved and would ask if they were placeholders or if there were plans to upgrade in the future.RELATED: Rude Client Rejects Single Dad For Bringing Daughter To Work, Community Has Best Response“I wanted people to understand that... a ring is just a bonus. You're not marrying someone for a ring. You're marrying someone because you love them,” Ariel told ABC News.“He scraped up just enough money to buy me two matching rings from Pandora. Sterling silver and CZ to be exact. That's what sits on my ring finger, and I am so in love with them,” she shared on Facebook.I wasn't even thinking about rings, I just wanted to marry my best friend, but he wouldn't have it.Ariel McRae“When did our nation fall so far to think the only way a man can truly love a woman is if he buys her $3,000+ jewelry and makes a public decree of his affection with said flashy ring? Sure they are nice, sure the sentiment is wonderful and I'm not trying to cut down any of your experiences, but when did it come to all that? Why do material possessions equate love??”How A Woman's Heartfelt Facebook Post Went ViralPhoto by Erik Mclean on UnsplashAriel’s post resonated with a lot of people, and many media outlets picked it up. Her story was shared far and wide, with many people chiming in with their own stories of inexpensive but beloved rings. Eventually, the story got back to Pandora and the company also apologized for the incident.“Pandora Jewelry regrets that Ariel and Quinn had this experience while shopping for such a meaningful testament to their love. Their experience is not in keeping with our brand values or what we expect from those who sell our products,” the company said in a statement to The Mirror.“We aspire every day to bring love to people around the world no matter the occasion or sentiment, and we are honored that Ariel and her husband chose Pandora to celebrate this special moment together with unconditional love.”As for Ariel, she also revealed in her post that she’s never been happier.“My husband was so afraid of me not wanting him because he couldn't afford a piece of jewelry,” she continued. “He was afraid that the love I have for him would pale because he couldn't afford the wedding set I wanted. The world has made it this way and it is so sad."Here I am, court-house married, $130 ring set, the love of my life by my side and happier than I could ever imagine.Ariel McRaeWhy One Woman Believes There Shouldn't Be Price Tag On LovePhoto by Jenny Marvin on UnsplashAriel herself admits that costlier pieces of jewelry can be nice, but it isn't all that matters. People everywhere have been conditioned to look at the size and cost of an engagement ring when it comes to valuing love, but at the end of the day, it’s just a material thing. It’s a takeaway we should all try to remember when it comes to life in general.RELATED: Woman Loses Engagement Ring In Homeless Man's Change Cup - He Returns ItHaving a nice piece of jewelry, a fancy car, or a big house is great. But if we can’t find the real value in our lives: friendship, kindness, generosity, and love, what’s the point of having those nice things? Money can help you out in life but it does not always equate happiness. Thankfully, Ariel reminded us all of that with her beautiful story.KEEP READING:Shaq Overhears Man Struggling To Purchase Engagement Ring, Steps In And Pays For Itlove is what matters"There is no charm equal to tenderness of heart." - Jane Austen
