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Stories

Ikigai: The Japanese Philosophy for Purposeful Living

People often say that finding purpose is the foundation of a healthy and more fulfilling life. Yet for millions of people, purpose feels elusive, like some far-off destination, an epiphany waiting for divine intervention.Narratives around living the life of your dreams can package purpose in a very set way, telling stories of a select few who were lucky enough to find their purpose, and never looked back.All of these assumptions about purpose make it both intimidating and seemingly unattainable. Factor in cultural ideas of what purpose looks like — from starting a billion-dollar venture in Silicon Valley to living a life in service of the greater good — and you’ll likely be left feeling frustrated, or confused, about how to add purpose to your life.Fortunately, these assumptions are misleading. Purpose is much easier to attain than it seems on the surface. And, thankfully, the Japanese concept of ikigai makes discovering your purpose practical. There’s no need to wait for a eureka moment, or yearn for the day purpose will arrive on your doorstep. With ikigai as your own personal Japanese secret, you can start taking deliberate steps to add purpose to your days and inhabit a more happy life. This article will show you how you can start your own personal ikigai journey. Let’s get started!What is the Japanese concept of Ikigai?The best translation for ikigai (pronounced “ee key guy”) is “a reason for being.” The term is formed from the Japanese words iki (life) and gai (worth or benefit).Ikigai is central to Japanese culture, with its origin stretching all the way back to the Heian period, a period of classical Japanese history lasting between the years 794 and 1185.American researcher Dan Buettner, who presented the popular Ted Talk How to Live to 100, identified ikigai as one of the main factors for greater longevity in Japan. Buettner popularized the concept in the West in the early 2000s.Long before then, Japanese psychiatrist Mieko Kamiya, the Mother of Ikigai, wrote one of the most popular modern-day books on the philosophy, Ikigai-ni-Tsuite (What Makes Our Life Worth Living), in 1966. This was around the time early positive psychology was born. Psychologists such as Abraham Maslow, Carl Rogers, and Viktor Frankl shifted the paradigm of psychology away from pathology, and towards what makes for a fulfilling, meaningful life.(Getty)Moving towards a more meaningful lifeKamiya herself compared ikigai to Frankl’s approach to meaning. Both were well-versed in how suffering could lead to personal growth. Frankl from his time spent in concentration camps during the Holocaust, and Kamiya worked with leprosy patients. Kamiya described ikigai as:“Ikigai means ‘power necessary for one to live in this world, happiness to be alive, benefit, effectiveness.’ When we try to translate it into English, German, French etc, it seems that there is no other way to define it other than ‘worth living’ or ‘value or meaning to live’. Thus, compared to philosophical theoretical concepts, the word ikigai shows us how ambiguous the Japanese language is, but because of this it has an effect of reverberation and amplitude.”She acknowledged that “the fact that this word exists should indicate that the goal to live, its meaning and value within the daily life of the Japanese soul has been problematized.” In other words, the word exists because modern-living, to some degree, has disconnected people from their innate sense of purpose, or their soul’s calling.Kamiya further defines ikigai into two categories — the source of ikigai, and the state of mind someone feels when connected to the source (ikigai-kan). For Kamiya, ikigai-kan is linked to Frankl’s concept of meaning. In life, a person’s mission is to connect to their mission. Failure to do so can result in depression or anxiety.In order to become clear on this mission, Kamiya suggested two questions:What is my existence for?What is the purpose of my existence?Gaining ClarityOnce clarity is gained, ikigai becomes the North Star that you are guided to. The journey itself is what’s important, not the final destination. Those who are moving towards that North Star experience a sense of fulfillment, ikigai-kan.Kamiya was careful to note those pursuing their purpose weren’t always distinguished people — someone can be in service to ikigai when raising children, teaching at schools, or working in medicine. What’s most important is that a person is able to connect to their purpose, and honor it, in whichever way is unique to them.For Kamiya, the process of clarifying and honoring their soul’s calling is the discovery of a new theme of existence. For many people, this process could unfold during a spiritual awakening, where their motivations radically transform. For others, it could be a slight, but noticeable change of direction.Ikigai and Maslow’s hierarchy of needsIn addition to parallels between Frankl’s work on the value of meaning, Kamiya also discovered that to experience ikigai-kan, someone must first have several personal needs met. The result is a similar model of thinking to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, which outlines the journey of growth and self-actualization.The needs Kamiya identified are:The need for life satisfactionThe need for change and growthThe need for a bright futureThe need for resonanceThe need for freedomThe need for self-actualizationThe need for meaning and valueThese closely resemble Maslow’s pyramid of physiological needs, safety needs, love and belonging, esteem, self-actualization, and self-transcendence (the often forgotten additional layer). It’s worth keeping in mind, though, that Maslow noted for some, lower levels can be transcended by higher values, such as creativity being more important than safety needs or esteem.The same can be said of ikigai — if your mission or purpose is something greater than you, it’s likely that it can overshadow other personal needs and contribute to well being.Why is Ikigai important for a fulfilling life?As Buettner discovered, meaning is one of the most influential factors in living a long and healthy life, both for younger generations and those that are older. Buettner has researched so-called Blue Zones, the locations where people lived for longer and enjoyed greater wellbeing.Five locations Buettner discovered were Okinawa, Japan; Sardinia, Italy; Nicoya, Costa Rica; Ikaria, Greece, and Loma Linda, California. He noticed that these five locations placed a lot of emphasis on meaning and purpose.This has been backed up by multiple studies. A 2014 UCL-led study of 9,000 people with an average age of 65 found that those with a greater sense of meaning and purpose were 30 percent less likely to die in the following eight-year period. More recently in 2019, a study of 7,000 people over the age of 50 found “life purpose was significantly associated with all-cause mortality.” So much so, the lowest scorers of the study were twice as likely to have died than those with the highest scores five years later.The power of ikigaiNoriyuki Nakashi, from Osaka University, explains the power of ikigai as:“Ikigai is personal: it reflects the inner self of an individual and expresses that faithfully.Ikigai, which is the highest level of desire, may be considered to be essentially the process of cultivating one’s inner potential and that which makes one's life significant, a universal human experience we all wish to achieve.”Purpose gives you a deeper reason for living, it makes your life significant. As noted by thinkers such as Kamiya and Frankl, there is an interesting component to this — it appears, deep down, each of us has a purpose that we intuitively know and understand. Our mission is to listen to that calling and do all we can to honor it, in order to cultivate our inner potential.Longevity is a byproduct of doing something right. Purpose gives you the energy and inspiration to pursue your goals, overcome struggle, and keep going when times are tough. It provides strong foundations of fulfillment and can give your life a new direction, not towards fleeting happiness, but towards things of high value. In the words of Oscar Wilde: “To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”Understanding the Ikigai chart and your own ikigai journeyAre you ready for your mind to be blown by ikigai, the Japanese secret that so many swear by? For your understanding of ikigai to take a drastic u-turn into a new theme of existence? The ikigai venn diagram, shared by millions and rising to meme-like popularity on social media, isn’t linked to ikigai. Instead, it was an idea from Marc Winn, an entrepreneur and blogger who merged the idea of ikigai with a venn diagram of purpose.Winn was introduced to the concept of ikigai and the ikigai diagram from Buettner’s Ted Talk. “I don’t know whether to laugh or cry,” he wrote in 2017, “less than an hour of my time has made more of a difference in the world than all my time put together.”Winn acknowledges his own surprise that his idea, and the diagram, spiraled out of control. The diagram is shown below:While the venn diagram is incredibly useful, there’s one major downside — the true meaning of ikigai isn’t about making money. The diagram might be valuable in understanding how you can launch a career of meaning, but in many ways, it’s the result of ikigai running through the money-oriented worldview of the West.In fact, a 2010 study of 2,000 people in Japan found that only a third saw work as their ikigai. In addition, the Japanese translation of life means both your lifespan, and everyday life. This leads to another possible misinterpretation — ikigai can be discovered in the simple, day-to-day joys of living, not a grandiose plan or life mission worthy of Hollywood fame. It’s a spectrum of joy, from the seemingly mundane to the miraculous, and everything between.The five pillars of ikigaiSo if the ikigai isn’t discovered through a venn diagram, how do you apply the concept to your life? In The Little Book of Ikigai, Japanese neuroscientist and author Ken Mogi offers a five-pillar framework. By following this framework, you’re able to cultivate the type of lifestyle that allows for the emergence of ikigai:Pillar One: Start SmallDiscovering a new theme of existence begins with small steps. That could be as simple as making the inner commitment to start creating a life of enhanced purpose.What changes could you make, today, to start that process? Is there a passion, or calling, that you sense on the periphery of your awareness? What could you do in order to start honoring that? Remember, purpose doesn’t have to be elaborate or grand.Applying Kamiya’s work, you could journal and answer the two questions: what is my existence for? What is the purpose of my existence? Don’t think about it too much, just see what surfaces.Additionally, consider what things in life are the source of ikigai, or when are the moments when you feel ikigai-kan. For me, writing is the source of both. Although now established as a writer, in the beginning, it started with a commitment to write a little every day.Pillar Two: Releasing YourselfThis pillar demonstrates how deep the philosophy of ikigai is, and its entanglement with other Eastern philosophies that have stood the test of time, such as Buddhism. (Getty)Releasing yourself means to let go of all the things in life you hold onto, that cause some form of suffering.It’s similar to the Buddhist practices of non-attachment. Are you attached to your self-image, what other people think of you, or always thinking about a time you’ll finally be happy?Releasing yourself requires accepting where you’re at, who you are, and the moment in front of you. It leads to a state of peaceful surrender, going with the flow, rather than grappling with life.Ikigai is, after all, a practice of aligning with nature. “The greatest secret of the ikigai, ultimately, has to be the acceptance of oneself, no matter what kind of unique features one might happen to be born with,” Mogi writes.Pillar Three: Harmony and SustainabilityThis step is connected to your environment. Ikigai incorporates the people in our lives, our immediate community, the quality and sustainability of all living things we interact with.As Mogi says, “A man is like a forest; individual and yet connected and dependent on others for growth.” Harmony and sustainability are both inner and outer experiences, reflected in your emotions, your thoughts, the way you interact with the world, the way you go about your work.(Getty)Consider any area of life where there is disharmony. Perhaps you have a few relationships that cause friction, or you are pushing yourself to extremes, unable to sustain that approach to hustle culture for the long term. In what ways can you invite a more peaceful approach? How can you be the source of harmony, for yourself, and for the wider world around you?That doesn’t have to mean being half-hearted in what you do, quite the opposite, as ikigai encourages commitment and passion in equal measure. But make sure not to fall into traps of seriousness, and keep an explorative, playful attitude to yourself, your relationships, your community, and your work.Pillar Four: The Joy of Little ThingsIkigai is a comprehensive philosophy, as well as being an antidote to a lot of modern approaches to finding happiness through constant striving, or the craving for success or recognition.Deeply embedded in the Japanese concept is finding joy in little things. Your morning coffee. A smile from a stranger. An unexpected spell of sunshine. A message from a friend you’ve not spoken to in a while. A delicious sip of energizing green tea. All of these are opportunities to enjoy small sparks of joy, sparks that pave the way for a life in honor of ikigai.(Getty)As Kamiya notes, those dedicated to ikigai spend all their days in fulfillment. Yes, there might be a challenging process of realizing your calling, and adjusting your life to make sure you have supreme focus on fulfilling your potential. But ikigai isn’t about the end destination, it’s about smelling the flowers on the way.The easiest way to do this is to look for gratitude in your life. What things bring you a sense of comfort? What in your life would you have never predicted or thought you’d be able to achieve? What have you overcome? Who adds laughter or who supports you? All of these reflections of gratitude support the feeling of ikigai-kan.Pillar Five: Being in the Here and NowTo reaffirm the intention of ikigai, and its link to mindfulness, the final pillar reminds us to be present. To pause. To become fully aware of what’s directly in front of us. To take things one step at a time, and notice when our minds get caught in the past, or jump ahead to the future. The more present you become, the richer life is, the more nourishing each moment, and the less fearful you become about uncertain futures.The irony of trying to find happiness is that it keeps us always looking ahead, waiting for a moment to come. But as many Eastern philosophies have taught, that is an illusion. Only the present ever exists. And the more you’re able to truly arrive in the present moment, the more likely you will be to experience deeper fulfillment.Ikigai is a philosophy that reminds us that, with a brief pause, a moment of gratitude for the small things, acceptance for who we are and where we’re at. Then you might end up finding purpose where you never expected it — right in front of you.Right here, right now. If you have any unanswered questions click here, and good luck on your journey!

“The Bullies Did Me a Favour” - Woman Cruelly Bullied for Her Appearance Gets the Last Laugh
Mental Health

“The Bullies Did Me a Favour” - Woman Cruelly Bullied for Her Appearance Gets the Last Laugh

At age 12, Jade Colcombe, a girl from Tonypandy, Wales, was cruelly bullied by her classmates who teased her - and sometimes threatened her - every single day. As her peers spent their time in class, making friends and hitting the books, Jade's life was a living hell. Little did she know that the tables would turn.Torment 101She was taunted and harassed by her fellow classmates and would be told she looked like a man and was made fun of for her 'tomboy' fashion. She recalled to the Daily Mail that it would start right from the opening bell. ''I'd walk into the room and the 'popular' gang would sit and snigger just because I didn't have expensive clothes or wear make-up,'' she said. I was called 'buck-tooth', because of my teeth, 'Dalmatian', because of my beauty spots and 'man' because the hair on my arm was dark and noticeable.- Jade Colcombe"There have been times where I just felt like breaking down and crying."Desperate, she'd skip school and fake illness to avoid the torment. However, when it was clear it wouldn't stop, the straight-A student quit school for a different one. Sadly, the torment continued at her new school, with kids teasing her clothes and calling her ugly. For Colcombe, that was rock bottom."At my lowest point, I refused to talk to anyone because I feared that they would just laugh at me," she admitted. She found a new stageIronically, her family and friends urged Colcombe to enter the 'Miss Radiant Photogenic UK' pageant to help her build up her confidence and prove her haters wrong. With nothing to lose, she entered and, amazingly, won. Just like that, a switch was flipped and a queen was born. Shortly after, Colcombe won the Miss Supermodel Great Britain title at Dream Street's Miss United Kingdom pageant.With that, the quiet girl had found her voice. "For the first time at Miss UK, I actually spoke in front of an audience without getting upset or really nervous about it."Colcombe says that she has one special thank you for her success."To be honest, the bullies did me a favor."And now that I am entering national pageants all over the UK, I really feel like I've beat those bullies and proved them wrong.- Jade ColcombeLean into your greatnessNext up for Colcombe: climbing 19,341-foot Mount Kilimanjaro to raise funds for Noah's Ark - a children's hospital in Wales. The cause holds a special place in her heart: Her little sister Lexi, who has an incurable form of epilepsy, was saved by doctors at the hospital after suffering several seizures. While climbing the world's highest free-standing mountain is a tall task, Colcombe says that she's already conquered the worst. I beat my bullies, so with the support of my family, beating Kilimanjaro should be no problem.- Jade ColcombeNo one should go through what Colcombe did. Sometimes children can be really cruel. However, past that struggle is the giant inside you. With help from family and friends, one timid girl tapped into a force stronger than any taunts or teases, and now she's unstoppable. Whether it's your skin color, weight, or age, don't let anyone make you feel less than the force of nature you are. More uplifting news: “I Truly Feel It Was Fate!”- Childhood Sweethearts Find Each Other On Dating Site 30 Years Later And Get MarriedUngrateful Daughter Throws Mom’s Gift in the Trash – Gets Taught a Harsh LessonPolice Posts Man Who Allegedly Stole Diapers on Facebook – Their Efforts Backfire With Unexpected Response42 Years Ago, Interracial Couple Was Forced To Break Up – Today, They Found Their Way Back To Each Other Look beyond appearancesPhysical beauty is nothing compared to a good heart.

What is the Meaning of Life? An Exploratory Guide
Meditation

What is the Meaning of Life? An Exploratory Guide

Most of us wonder at the meaning of it all now and again, but fewer of us dare speak the question aloud for fear of sounding ridiculous: “What is the meaning of life?” Without an answer to what seems the most pertinent question imaginable, how do human beings know what’s important, or where our focus should lie as we navigate this rocky road of existence? In some ways lift seems so short, yet in other ways also interminable. How should we live meaningful lives? What defines a meaningful existence?One might find humorous or even crass answers to the question at hand. These answers may rely on lighthearted whimsy or be profound philosophical responses, which themselves lead to further questions about human nature and the ultimate meaning in a person’s life. One thing's for sure: the drive to self-actualize is real.Really, one might find answers anywhere, but an answer that works for one person may not work for another. In Monty Python's classic film The Meaning of Life (1983), there are several allusions to life’s meaning, and at the end, a character is handed an envelope containing "the meaning of life,” which she opens and reads out loud to the audience:“Well, it's nothing very special. Uh, try to be nice to people, avoid eating fat, read a good book every now and then, get some walking in, and try to live together in peace and harmony with people of all creeds and nations.” Sounds right to me, but how does it sound to you?Living a Meaningful Life: A brief breakdownThere are so many ways of identifying substantial meaning in one’s own life that it becomes very challenging to narrow down. Not to mention, the idea of “meaning” itself can have very different meanings to very different people. To some, it may signify purpose, while to others the question might be more focused on the nature of reality and objective meaning. Ultimately, though, meaning is something generally not agreed upon across the board. For those who do believe an overarching meaning of life can be discerned, however, views typically fall under one of several types. Meaningful Lives: A Spiritual Approach(Wilaipon Pasawat / EyeEm / Getty)Religion acts as a common source of personal meaning in life. This is likely because a person’s religious belief entails involvement in a community of like-minded believers in addition to a set of beliefs. At its core, the basis of most religion is that we, humankind living in this purely physical world, are the creation of an entity known as God, a power that had an intelligent purpose in creating us. While God is unprovable and altogether undebatable, many find the point moot when it comes to discussions of life’s meaning. Why? Because even if God exists and had a specific purpose in creating us, no one knows for certain what God's purpose is, or how it might converse with our own ideas of meaning. That said, many believe simply that ‘doing good’ in life is God’s plan for us, and that those who do are leading lives of meaning that will ultimately be rewarded. Which brings us to the ‘afterlife.’ While some who hold religious beliefs might contend that all this talk about the meaning of life is sort of missing the point, as life is actually just a prelude to a form of eternal afterlife, others might respond differently. Their contention may be that the concept of an afterlife simply serves to displace the problem, creating a new, if not identical question: what is the meaning of the afterlife? Reliance on an afterlife can discourage some from determining meaning or purpose for what may very well be the only life they have. Meaningful Lives: A Science-Based Approach(ferrantraite / Getty)The contributions of modern science to the discussion of life's meaning focus mostly on describing empirical facts about the material world, the observable, physical universe, and exploring the parameters of how physical existence as we know it came to be. While it’s a common belief that science-based worldviews imply life as we know it is a meaningless accident in a universe ultimately indifferent to human existence, recent advances in the study of evolution reveal a bigger picture, which, may, by itself, give meaning to life. Within this bigger picture, humanity is part of a vast evolutionary process within which we have a meaningful role to play. However, because some of us struggle to find meaning within this impersonal understanding of reality, our quest for meaning persists.The science world is broad, however, and includes many disciplines and therefore many lenses through which one might understand meaning. Take psychology: although most psychology researchers consider meaning in life a subjective feeling or judgment, clinical psychologist and professor Paul T. P. Wong proposes that there are also objective, concrete criteria for what constitutes a meaningful life. To this end, he created a 4-component solution (PURE) intended as a tool to help parse out the meaning of life:1.Purpose: We must choose a worthy purpose or a significant goal in our own lives.2. Understanding: We must develop a real understanding of who we are, what life demands of us, and how we can play a significant role in our time here.3. Responsibility: We alone are responsible for deciding what type of life we want to lead, and what constitutes an impactful and/or worthwhile goal to work toward.4. Enjoyment: We can enjoy a profound sense of meaning and personal fulfillment once we have actively harnessed the above components in service of a worthy life goal.Although the above breakdown may work for some, others still may find it too restrictive, too ambiguous, or difficult to apply to all of humanity given the gamut of human experience. Human Beings and Mystery as Meaning(Jonathan Knowles / Getty)The sixth-century Chinese sage Lao Tzu is said to have dictated the Tao Te Ching before escaping civilization for a life of reclusiveness in the mountains. He believed that the universe actually supplies what value humanity possesses. Tzu would argue that goals are insignificant, and that accomplishments do not imbue our lives with meaning. He suggests that simply being a product of the world means living a meaningful life; no effort is required. Tzu proposes a deeper understanding of existence itself, which is mysterious by nature. Much like oceans or trees, humans are part of “the way,” which is made up of all things, and makes up all things, and cannot ever truly be known or spoken about. This is a perspective founded on the belief that life is not comprehensible, but that this doesn't make it any less meaningful: whatever station one occupies in life, it matters, because we exist within and among the living, a small yet important piece in an enduring and incomprehensible chain of existence. While Tzu acknowledges that life can be brutal at times, he proposes that meaning comes from our will to persevere. As the Tao says, “One who persists is a person of purpose.”We Create Our Own Meaning in Life(Westend61 / Getty)Famed American Lit Professor Joseph Campbell put it this way: “Life has no meaning. Each of us has meaning and we bring it to life. It is a waste to be asking the question when you are the answer.” Ultimately, one thing seems clear: the meaning of life as a human being is that which you choose to give it. But the question still remains: how do we choose?Regardless of the answer that anchors you to this earthly plain and allows you to go about the business of being human in the day-to-day, only one thing’s for certain: when attempting to unravel a notion as lofty the meaning of life, there are bound to be as many right answers as there are truth seekers out there.For those who feel at a loss, professor and philosopher Iddo Landau Landau suggests a ‘reframing.' He writes, “A meaningful life is one in which there is a sufficient number of aspects of sufficient value, and a meaningless life is one in which there is not a sufficient number of aspects of sufficient value.” Basically, he’s saying meaning can be boiled down to an equation of sorts, and that when we add or subtract aspects of value, we experience more or less meaning. By this logic, if you feel a lack of meaning in your work, you might still find meaning in relationships, travel, or creative endeavors—to name just a few. It may also be the case, of course, that the life you live is already meaningful, but that you’re not valuing that which is worth valuing because you’re fixated on predetermined ideas of meaning (i.e. having children, or getting promoted).Ultimately, it is the temporary nature of human life that gives it shape and purpose. Within a limited timeframe, one might say the meaning of life is to live life meaningfully. Sick of the riddles yet? Maybe it’s time for some loose instruction.How to Find the Meaning of Your Life(Mike Powell / Getty)Rather than asking yourself why you’re here on earth and what exactly it is you’re supposed to be doing, consider drawing inspiration from the following action tips to make your experiences the answer to your queries and put some meaning back in your life.1. Practice HappinessWe’ve all heard the theory that happiness is a choice, even if it sounds trite. Ultimately, however, it is a choice, and the good news is that happiness, believe it or not, can be practiced by anyone regardless of their circumstances. The reality is we are all capable of unlearning certain basic tenets, becoming less reactive to the events of life, and having more control over how we choose to feel, regardless of what comes our way. No one’s saying you should be happy all the time, or force anything that you don’t feel, but cultivating a sense of calm and stability can go a long way toward a feeling of happiness with one’s life.2. See Your Natural Gifts as OpportunitiesWhile not everyone has an undeniable talent that surfaces at a young age and serves to illuminate a clear path forward, discovering where your gifts or talents may lie, even later in life, can give meaning and purpose to your existence. If you feel in the dark about your talents, it may take a little digging. Ask yourself: What comes naturally to you? What are you doing or experiencing when you feel at your best? How do you like to help or engage with others? If you keep asking, answers will come.3. Cultivate Meaningful Relationships With OthersAs we slowly make our way out of the restricting hold of a global pandemic, this one has special meaning. Whether in person or not, carve out time to spend with people that make your life fuller and who lift you up rather than drag you down. (Getty)This might be partners, friends, colleagues, or family. Sometimes it's necessary to ‘cut out’ people who consistently drain your energy or are always bringing negative vibes. The reality is, we are affected by those whose company we keep, whether we see it or not. Your outlook, and your general experience of life can either be enhanced by the people in your life, or obscured. Start tuning in to how you feel around others and make adjustments as needed.4. Set Goals and Stick to ThemAs a general rule, having a plan brings meaning to life. While being overly focused on goals or setting goals you can't attain doesn’t do anyone any good, it does help to have goals, along with a plan for achieving them—even if it’s a long term plan. Regardless of what it is, make sure it’s something that excites you, or that you actually want to do, rather than something you feel you should accomplish: when setting goals, it’s always important to check your narrative! Start by writing down your goals, and then, most importantly, goal setting.5. Do What You Can to Help OthersHelping others comes in many forms. If you've ever done the kind of work that serves the underserved, or simply stopped in the street to help someone who looked a little down on their luck, you probably know that helping others feels good and right, and can even instill a sense of self-worth or purpose. If we make space in our lives to think about others and cultivate generosity of spirit—either by giving of our time, money, or energy—this is a worthy meaning of a human life.6. Abandon Your Routine Now and ThenThe universe is brimming with possibilities, even if it doesn’t feel like it sometimes in the day-to-day. While there is certainly value in rhythm and routine, there is also huge value in shaking things up now and then. Every so often, depending on your circumstances, it might behoove you to do something different which will help you gain a refreshed perspective, like taking a spontaneous day-long road trip, going to the movies alone, staying at a hotel in your own hometown, or planning a day of zero obligations. (Anupong Sakoolchai / Getty)Although it may seem that ‘you don’t have the time’ for that sort of thing, occasionally abandoning your routine gives you a break from the expected and helps to highlight those experiences in life which matter most.7. Target Habits and AddictionsWe all have addictions--some more serious than others. Whether its TV, social media, cigarettes, alcohol, sugar, or anger, challenge yourself to going without it for a week—this might be quite painful and involve some real soul-searching, but where there’s a will, you'll succeed in making more space for deeper meaning in your life by letting go of that which no longer serves you. How will you fill your newly freed up time? What meaning will it hold?8. Do That Thing You've Always Wanted to Do but Haven'tAlmost everybody has a thing they really want to do that they haven’t done, even if they haven't told a soul about it. What’s that thing you always think about doing but which you’ve talked yourself out of or put off to some unforeseeable time in ‘the future’? What would you say if I told you that the future is now? Start by identifying what it is you're going to do, and then—go do it, simply. If this is really not possible within the current parameters of your life, begin working toward this big event, whether that means saving money, learning a skill, or doing whatever else needs doing to make it a reality. The first step is often the most difficult.9. Find a Purpose You Can Live WithOne of the most enriching and freeing and meaningful things you can do in this life is find your purpose. Your purpose is what makes you feel most alive, what drives you to be better, what gets you out of bed in the morning, what gives you energy to keep on living. This is what life is about, after all: finding out what you can contribute and following through.In Conclusion(Henglein and Steets / Getty)Anyone who feels their life is meaningless is asking the wrong questions and getting the wrong answers to boot. The feeling of meaninglessness is based on a failure to recognize what actually matters, instead becoming fixated on what might be missing. What is really most important to you? How will you harness its magic to fill your life with meaning? Everything you need is inside of you right now.

Decision Making: How To Make Impactful Decisions
Self-Development

Decision Making: How To Make Impactful Decisions

Making decisions is an essential part of everyday life. From major life choices to tiny, unconscious preferences, decision making skills involve mastering the hundreds (if not thousands) of quick, strategic choices daily.While much of this process may be happening below the surface, there are still plenty of ways to hone your capacity for effective decision making so you can find the key factors to weigh and the right course of action to take.Want to become a pro at examining alternatives for possible solutions and making quick, effective decisions? Here’s how to hone your decision making process and set yourself up for decision making success. What is Decision Making?Let’s start by defining what decision making actually is. On a psychological level, making a decision is the cognitive process of choosing between two or more alternatives. Another oft-cited definition of decision making comes from a 1993 textbook on management by Trewatha & Newport. It states that “decision-making involves the selection of a course of action from among two or more possible alternatives in order to arrive at a solution for a given problem.”We might say that the first definition encompasses nearly every decision we make, from who we date to what order we put on our clothes in the morning. This includes unconscious decisions. The second definition refers to strategic decision making, or decisions we make to solve problems, whether work-related or more personal. Such decisions involve weighing the alternatives and choosing a course of action to avoid negative consequences or achieve a desired outcome. Strategic Decision Making: How to Make Good DecisionsTo understand how to become an ace decision maker, it’s important to first understand the type and amount of decisions we actually make in a given day. So, what’s your guess? Participants of a 2006 study estimated it was somewhere around 15. Turns out they were way off! The study found we make over 200 decisions a day just related to food and beverage choices alone. John S. Dyson, Professor of Marketing and of Applied Economics at Cornell, told the Cornell Chronicle, "So many food decisions are made on mindless autopilot.” When you consider how much more we do in a day, you can imagine the true scope of human decision making and how many alternatives we’re actually contending with. According to a 2016 study, American adults are estimated to make around 35,000 decisions in a day, and we’re not even aware of most of them. So how do you turn off the “mindless autopilot” and determine your own course of action?Decisions, DecisionsThe first step is to determine what decisions you want to bring into deliberate focus. This includes any areas where making a good decision will have a positive impact on your life, and a poor decision could result in negative consequences. This might involve decisions about your:health and wellnesslove life choice of careerfinancessocial circlecultural or political affiliationsSetting goals in these areas will help you hone in on what’s most important to you. Then you can focus your mental and emotional energy on the things that really matter. When it comes to what kind of takeout to order or what color car to buy, the stakes aren’t quite as high.The Human Decision Making ProcessOnce you’ve determined the areas you want to focus on, the next step in the decision making process is to get educated about alternatives.Gathering dataGathering the relevant data, getting informed about what the experts think, and leaning on your own personal experience to guide you are all a part of effective decision making. When you’re educated about a subject, whether it’s the healthiest food to fuel your body or the most effective way to fix up a classic car, you’re well on the way to making good decisions that will lead you to your goal. Developing confidenceResearch shows that getting educated will also help you feel more confident in your decision making process, which is a key aspect of success. When you have the self-confidence to make tough calls under pressure, you’re more likely to make good decisions and follow through on your chosen course of action without distraction from doubts and personal insecurities. Want to boost your confidence? Check out these self confidence quotes for a little inspiration.7 steps to good decision makingLet’s break it down into steps. There’s a general consensus that the decision making process involves about seven steps. This framework is used in all kinds of decision making, from ethical to business decisions. The 7 steps to good decision are:Identifying the decision: What is it you need to make a decision about?Gathering relevant info: (izkes / Getty)In this stage, talk to people with more experience, read up on similar decisions made in the past, and get familiar with the facts. Identifying alternatives: It’s pretty rare that our choices appear in clear-cut black and white. Usually, there are multiple options and gradients to the potential benefits and downsides. The best way to get clear on your options is to map them out, either visually or in list form. Weighing the evidence: This involves examining the details of each potential decision, along with the potential positive and negative consequences. Choosing among the alternativesDecision makers take all the relevant information, put aside their personal biases, avoid the perils of following their gut reactions, and make a call. Taking actionOnce you’ve taken the time to gather facts and have made a decision, do it!Reviewing your decision:Did your decision result in your desired outcome? Do you have to go back to the drawing board? This reflection phase of decision making process will help inform your future decisions, making your decision making more effective each time you do it. Organizational Decision MakingWhen it comes to organizational behavior and making decisions that lead to better outcomes within group dynamics, there are additional factors to consider when you’re weighing the possible alternatives. Group decision making involves taking into account the interests of all parties involved, known as “stakeholders” in the business world. If you’re making a decision that affects a larger group, like your team, your clients, your board, or your shareholders, you may want to keep the PLUS Ethical Decision Making Model in mind. This model lays out an additional set of guidelines, a structured approach that can help you make a good decision in light of organization values, procedures, and precedents, a balance system that pays dividends within groups over time. The components of the PLUS model are as follows:P = PoliciesL = LegalU = UniversalS = SelfPoliciesWhen it comes to the policies step, ask yourself whether your decision is consistent with your organization's policies, procedures and guidelines. Are there past precedents in the organization that are similar to the decision you have to make?What organizational values does your decision honor?LegalThe next question to ask is whether your decision is going to have unintended negative consequences, i.e. does it break the rules?This doesn’t just pertain to the law though. It’s important to ask whether your decision is acceptable under the applicable guidelines and regulations or your specific organization. Does it violate any codes of ethics or contractual agreements? Does it leave anyone out in the cold?UniversalDoes your decision conform to the universal principles and values of your organization? Does it not only conform to, but uphold those values? Does the decision result in the most good for the greatest number of people involved?SelfDoes your choice satisfy your personal definition of right, good, and fair? In other words, do you feel as though your decision is in integrity with your values?If the decision you’re making checks all these boxes, you’re well on your way to making a sound, ethical, and effective decision that brings about positive results for your organization. That’s the stuff of good organizational decision making. How to Combat Decision FatigueDecision fatigue describes the impaired ability to make decisions and control behavior as a consequence of repeated acts of decision-making. In other words, being responsible for a lot of decisions can actually impair your ability to keep making decisions effectively. More colloquially, this fatigue is sometimes known as analysis paralysis. This idea comes from the Strength Model of Self-Control, which argues that people have a limited capacity to regulate their behavior. Just like your muscles get tired when you repeatedly use them, your decision “muscles,” known in psychology as executive function and emotional regulation, can get tired. The effort of processing information to make a decision can leave you feeling depleted, confused, and frustrated. When you get to this point, you might find that you can hardly tell up from down, let alone feel confident in making a solid choice. When this happens, it’s best to leave it alone for a while. Instead, try a calming activity that has nothing to do with your decision. For instance, try:Calling a friend and chatting about something unrelated to your decisionTaking a walk and enjoying the sights and soundsDoing something hands-on, like making art or gardeningGetting your heart rate moving by exercising, jogging, riding a bike, or lifting weightsIn conclusionNo matter who you are, decision making is an essential part of life. Every day consists of thousands of decisions that are affected by a number of factors including powerful cognitive biases, big and small, that add up to shape the direction you move in. Making decisions may be difficult at times, but such problems can be avoided and you can empower yourself by getting educated about the most effective methods for strategic decision making. Take charge of your decision making process and avoid common errors by learning the tools and techniques that successful leaders use to make tough calls under pressure, elevate their values, and make choices that result in positive results for everyone involved.

How My Daily Commute Changed My Life
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How My Daily Commute Changed My Life

Forty-five minutes each way -- on days when it wasn’t snowing. Over a winding mountain pass surrounded by lakes, aspen trees, and granite. To this day, I have no doubt that it is the most beautiful commute in the world. However, I didn’t always feel that way. When I first accepted the job, I feared the commute. It was long and dangerous, and, frankly, it was daunting. Never in a million years would I have imagined the impact that commute would have on my life.Before I started working at that remote ski resort, I was struggling Of course, at the time, I didn’t identify it as struggle. Honestly, the issue was that I was comfortable-- in my patterns and in my lack of change. Sure, I was miserable. My anxiety was off the charts and I occasionally had suicidal thoughts. My relationship was suffering, and I constantly felt like I was drowning in the responsibilities of being a parent. I felt like I was letting everyone down all the time -- including myself. So, when the opportunity came up for a promotion I took it, even if it did mean committing to an hour and a half of extra driving time and a tank of gas a week. To be honest, it was mostly an ego-based decision at firstFor the first few months, I got used to the drive; sipping coffee and listening to my music. It was peaceful alone time -- something that, prior to my commute, I had not realized was so important to me. It was never something I had made time for. That was the first lesson I learned from driving that mountain pass; that I need to be alone to recharge. That lesson was a game-changer for my lifeThe first real boundary that I established willingly in my relationship was because of this realization. I need alone time. It was because of this that I started to realize how badly I needed change. I had been letting my anxiety rule my life. I was letting my fears dictate not only what I did but who I was and how I treated those that I loved. After surviving an abusive relationship, I had this completely incorrect and absurd belief that if I had any boundaries then I would be unlovable. My commute showed me how false that belief truly was without me even realizing it. My healthy, kind, supportive partner, whom I was projecting my fears onto, was taking the brunt of my frustration over my own lack of boundaries. However, once I realized how deeply I needed that alone time, I was able to communicate and enforce my boundaries with him. It was the first step in overcoming a heaping tire fire of fears The next lesson I learned on my commute came in the form of a book recommendation. I have always been a fiction reader. I obsess over fiction and am a mega nerd at heart. I have a Narnia tattoo -- the love is real. But someone recommended that I read The Four Agreements. I don’t know if you have ever had the absolute pleasure of reading that book but if not, read it now. However, at the time that it was suggested to me, I was commuting and working fifty hour weeks on top of that -- not to mention my three children and other responsibilities. Something in my heart told me I needed to read that book Mind you, I had never read a self-help style book before. I honestly hadn’t even really thought about them as an option. The first audio book I ended up purchasing was The Four Agreements. Before that recommendation I hadn’t viewed my commute as a time to be used for my own growth. I was just enjoying it as alone time. Over the next few months I listened to over fifteen books on my commute, all focused on bettering myself. And without me knowing it, my new life path had begun to enfold. It started a healing journey to overcome my past trauma and better my world that I never expected but, damn, did I need. From those books, I found my way into coaching programs and healing programs and soon the experience and certifications I had to my name began to grow.One day I had the realization that I could listen to podcasts on my drive. It sounds silly to have not thought of this after spending nearly three years commuting, but I hadn’t ever had a chance to even look at the standard podcast app on my phone before I had a commute. Not only did I now have the time but I had enough time to binge on podcasts. So, I did. However, as opposed to the self-help book binge, I listened to podcasts on things that I loved! Everything from Dungeons & Dragons to ancient history to comedy. I had reached a point in my growth where my commute became something that I reveled in as a time to completely be myself. I used it to enjoy everything that I used to not have time for. We spend so much of our time not actually doing the things that we loveWe tend to give away our time to our bosses and our families, and leave our needs and passions behind. Even if we do find time for hobbies, we often use that time to invest in hobbies that help us feel numb to the parts of our lives that we don’t enjoy. That’s why many people live for the weekendsThrough podcasts, I was able to reconnect with the part of me that I had left behind in childhood. The part of me that had time to genuinely enjoy things. And it was from there that I made the realization that I could make the healing journey I had been on fun for other people. I could help people heal their trauma through connecting with that intimate part of themselves that loves to play. Overcoming fear could actually be achieved through a game. Not long after that, I left my job to pursue this goal, and I am so thankful that I did. To see my clients transform through play is my life’s purpose. I never would have realized my purpose if I hadn't been driving 45 minutes both ways, over that winding mountain passWhether your commute is ten minutes or two hours, use that time. Use that time to connect to the parts of you you forgot about a long time ago. Use that time to listen to things that make you feel happy and help you to grow. Use that time to sit in silence and just experience the being human. But don’t resent that time. Don’t hate the traffic or the honking or the heat or the snow. Don’t ever take the time you get for granted. You are never too busy to invest into making your life better. A commute is a gift Like so many of the gifts we are given, it can be easy to ignore. But if you don’t ignore it -- if you see it as potentially one of the best opportunities that you could have been given, who knows, a commute might just change your life. Mine did.

Hero of the Week: David Attenborough Dedicates His Last Years to Saving the Planet
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Hero of the Week: David Attenborough Dedicates His Last Years to Saving the Planet

An icon across four generations, he’s the voice that everyone instantly recognizes: David Attenborough has delighted, entertained, educated and inspired countless people across the world. Aged 93 now, the naturalist has turned his full attention to raise the alarm of climate change, a cause that captivated him from childhood.“The Garden of Eden is no more,” Attenborough told global political and business leaders earlier this year. Attending the World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland, he added: “We need to move beyond guilt or blame, and get on with the practical tasks at hand.” That task is keeping climate change from raising global temperatures no more than 1.5 degrees Celsius. Anything above that, and our intricate, but delicate modern civilization will collapse. As will ecosystems around us. Even 1.5 degrees Celsius mean irreversible damage to some areas. For others, it will take far longer than our lifetimes for balance to be restored."If people lose knowledge, sympathy and understanding of the natural world, they're going to mistreat it and will not ask their politicians to care for it."Voted Britain’s #1 most trusted celebrity, Sir David Frederick Attenborough was born in 1926 in Isleworth, England and grew up on the campus of University College, Leicester, where his father was principal. The innate curiosity that children have towards natural world was much encouraged in Attenborough from a young age, by his parents, university professors and noted naturalists, scientist and conservationist who walked the grounds of the prestigious university. "I just wish the world was twice as big and half of it was still unexplored."Aged only 11, Attenborough attended a lecture by legendary Archibald Delaney – better known as Grey Owl – who fought relentlessly to conserve Canada’s wilderness, especially the beaver. That lecture would change Attenborough’s life. But the naturalist’s stellar career came about in a twisty-turny way. A stint in the Navy was followed by editing children’s textbooks, but the work did not capture him. He applied to the BBC as radio show producer. He was turned down but caught the eye of factual TV broadcasting at the BBC. It was 1950 and most Britons, among them Attenborough, didn’t even own a television set. Two years later, he was a full-time producer and two years after that, he presented a show for the first time when the original presenter backed out last minute for health reasons.Throughout the next two decades Attenborough pursued a postgraduate degree in social anthropology, continued producing and filming iconic programs, revolutionized the fledgling BBC Two into a popular and educational channel, and became the director of programs for both BBC channels. He was courted to take over completely as Director-General, but his heart wasn’t in it. He would spend the ‘70s as a freelance documentary maker on an upwards swing.Starting with 1979, the acclaimed Life series launched. It would break new ground and establish new benchmarks in documentary filmmaking. By the 1990s, Attenborough was a household name across the globe and despite being well beyond retirement age, continued to work relentlessly. Conservation themes started popping up and in 2000 the landmark State of the Planet took a hard look at man’s impact on climate and the natural world, followed by several more documentaries on the subject. The Blue Planet and Planet Earth broke further new ground and their recent follow-ups garnered additional acclaim, further raising the alarm on runaway climate change."The question is, are we happy to suppose that our grandchildren may never be able to see an elephant except in a picture book?"His work recognized by countless awards such as The Peabody, the Kew International Medal, several BAFTAs, a knighthood, honorary degrees from some of the top universities around the world, multiple Royal Society memberships among countless honors. In fact, David Attenborough is the only person in the world to win BAFTA’s for shows shot in black and white color, HD, 3D and 4K. Additionally there have been 15 species named in his honor from a family of flowers, to insects, amphibians, a rare echidna, a bat and even ancient creatures from the time of and even pre-dating dinosaurs. His own words explain his motivation best: "The future of life on earth depends on our ability to take action. Many individuals are doing what they can, but real success can only come if there's a change in our societies and our economics and in our politics. I've been lucky in my lifetime to see some of the greatest spectacles that the natural world has to offer. Surely we have a responsibility to leave for future generations a planet that is healthy, inhabitable by all species."

7 Signs You Found Your Life's Calling (And What To Do If You Haven't Yet)
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7 Signs You Found Your Life's Calling (And What To Do If You Haven't Yet)

It seems so easy for some people: they go to school and know the focus to choose. Then, they graduate and know the exact path their career and life will take. They have found their life's calling.For many of us, though, that path has a lot more twists and turns. We try a lot of stuff and nothing feels quite right. We have trouble finding the right fit, and then we begin to wonder if that fit is even out there.Seven signs you have found your true calling.1. You would do it if no one paid you. “A life calling is one that you would do if no one paid you. Even if you are called to be a financier, there was probably a time when you looked at stock market reports and studied finances and no one way paying you,” says Mary Joye, LMHC.2. You have found a way to make a living at it. Though you'd do it for free, in this society you can't. “When you believe in yourself others will, too. We have mirror neurons. When others see your passion they will be glad to invest in you or employ you,” says Joye.3. You put in way more than forty hours a week. “When you lose track of the hours and work feels more like fulfillment you have found your calling,” says Joye.4. Failure is fuel.“Failure is a teacher. Failure is where you learn the lessons on what not to do,” says Joye.5. You can't NOT do it! “If you are called to do something, you will do it. You won't stop and you can't give up,” says Joye. You may take a break but if that breaks your heart, get up and do it again. 6. Struggle is exercising the muscle of your calling. “If you want to be a guitar player, your fingertips may have to bleed while you are practicing. The calluses come and the pain was worth the struggle,” says Joye. A tenacious need to practice is evidence that you've found your true calling.7. A pervasive sense of peace when doing what you do. “Under all that you do, confidence and a sense of internal knowing...no matter what anyone says... is the core of a calling,” says Joye. You won't ask anyone's opinion but your own. If someone gives you an opinion, it won't matter unless it is positive. “You can't be deterred by others. It is when peace comes, no matter what it looks like to anyone, choose the path of peace. It is not the path of least resistance. It is persistence!” says Joye.“It's much easier to know if something is your calling because if it is, you will feel passionate about it,” says Benson Simmonds, an energy healer practicing an ancient form of energy healing similar to Reiki. When doing it, time will fly by and you won’t even realize it. It will give you a deep sense of contribution and connection. It will, simply, bring you joy.Finding your life's calling is so much more difficult for most people. “Where I start with my clients is by asking them what are 3-5 things you loved doing when you were a kid, 5, 6 or 7 years old, or what you loved to do in 2nd or 3rd grade?” says Simmonds. Some kids loved art, some loved reading, writing, etc. “For many of us, what we loved to do as a child is directly related to discovering our calling,” says Simmonds. If you loved to draw or paint, your calling may be directly or indirectly related to that. It may be that you're meant to be an artist, graphic designer, web designer, or fashion designer. “I've had clients that were always making clothes who rediscovered their passion to be a clothing designer. Or someone who loved writing and had long left it behind,” says Simmonds.If your true calling is not directly related to what you loved to do as a child, the next step is to honor yourself. Start doing at least a few of the things you did love as a child. Why? Because it will bring back the joy of your soul! “By starting to write or play soccer or be out in nature or ride a horse or play with animals, or draw, or journal, or doing a myriad of things you loved as a kid, it will begin to fire up your imagination and you will reconnect with your true passion,” says Simmonds. It will eventually lead you to your true calling.Try to figure out what inspires you. For most of us, there is a core challenge that we've had to overcome. ”Whatever you have had to overcome is there so that you can then inspire others to do the same,” says Simmonds. For example, for someone who has struggled to accept and love themselves, their calling may be to inspire this in others.“Once you discover your personal ‘to inspire’ statement, then it will open you up to finding something that allows you to inspire others through doing what you love,” says Simmonds.Allow yourself to ask "if I had all the money in the world, what would my dream day look like? How would I want to contribute to the world? What would I love doing?"Make a vision board.If finding creative focus and deciding the path is feeling difficult, creating a vision board may help. “Carve out a few hours of uninterrupted time for yourself. You will need scissors, glue, 5-7 magazines, a poster board, and some time alone. Using visual imagery can help you go beyond words, your own or others’. Flip through the magazines,” says Christine Scott-Hudson MA MFT ATR, licensed psychotherapist, and owner of Create Your Life Studio in Santa Barbara, California.On the first go through, simply tear out any images that you have a very strong emotional reaction to, whether these be positive or negative associations. On the second go through, do the same, but with magazine phrases and words. “Only choose phrases and words with strong positive or strong negative associations,” says Scott-Hudson. Don’t think too hard or get caught up in reading long paragraphs, you are basically intuitively choosing the things that come right off the page and grab your attention in some way. Next, make a large collage on a piece of poster board. “Do this in a faster pace than you might choose naturally. It will help you bypass your censor,” says Scott-Hudson. Try to just get into the flow of creating and not over thinking your choices or placement. Thirdly, give a title to your collage. “Choosing the very first thing that comes to mind is usually a pretty good bet that it came from the subconscious,” says Scott-Hudson. Don’t over analyze it. Lastly, write in a journal for twenty minutes about the process of creating your vision board. What feelings did it invoke in you? Which images and words are most evocative for you? How does the vision board make you feel? What messages does it hold for you? “A story will emerge about what you would like more of, and what you need less of in your life,” says Scott-Hudson. Allow this story to inform what you would like to create, and you will have found your life's calling.

Purpose

4 Ways to Disrupt Mindless Routines and Find Your Joy Again

It’s easy to fall into a pattern of mindlessness in your life. Whether it’s going through the motions or getting into a repeating cycle of negativity, it’s important to make a mental shift toward a positive outlook. We’ve asked an expert for her take on how to disrupt these negative routines and make changes for the better.1. Reflect and reclaimTo begin to feel better, think about the moments that make you happy, fill you with energy, and stir up optimism. Lisa Shumate, author of Always and Never: 20 Truths for a Happy Heart, a book and companion journal, suggests asking yourself some important questions when looking for some inspiration. What kinds of things are you doing when these uplifting moments occur? Write down your answers and look at your calendar. How can you schedule more time for things that bring you joy? “A good place to start is the first part of each day,” she says. “Many successful people say the secret is they carve out the first waking hours of the day for themselves. They meditate, exercise, write, and prioritize their needs. Take back your early mornings and you’ll feel more in control the rest of your day.”2. Do the mathHave you ever thought about the cost of wasting your time in a mindless state? Shumate says it’s estimated that we’re spending up to three hours a day on social media, simply scrolling the feeds. “That computes to 37.5% of the typical 8 hour work day or $187.50 of a $500 per week salary," she continues. “If instead one to two of those hours were spent learning, volunteering, or organizing a pot luck lunch at the office, what might the return on investment be? Learning and volunteering have intrinsic rewards, and doing something fun to bring co-workers together can yield new friends as well as goodwill that can pay off for months to come.”3. Rest and refreshTo get in a better place quickly, Shumate suggests closing your eyes and turning off your mind for 5-10 minutes. “Sit still, play soft music in your earbuds, quiet your thoughts and breathe. Following these 5-10 minutes get up and grab some water, decaf tea, or coffee and walk around for a couple minutes,” she says. "The combination of taking a break and moving around can improve your concentration for the work at hand. It will help you become more discerning and thoughtful about what really needs your attention, and help you tune out unproductive static that’s best ignored," she says. You may find yourself looking forward to these breaks and will most certainly realize the benefits of recharging.4. Have serious funLaughter relieves tension, relaxes muscles, boosts your immune system and is scientifically proven to benefit mental health, says Shumate. For fun, consider a game to boost your mood. “Board games, shooting pool, ping pong and bowling are fun ways to spend time with friends as well as make new friends,” adds Shumate. “Break the routine of eating out or binge-watching while ordering in. Go out and get your geek on with regular game nights.”

3 Lessons from Einstein’s Ideas and Opinions on Living a Meaningful Life
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3 Lessons from Einstein’s Ideas and Opinions on Living a Meaningful Life

If Twitter had been around when Einstein was alive, he likely would have been an avid tweeter. Think about that for a moment.Don’t believe me? Take a gander through the book Ideas and Opinions, a collection of most of Einstein’s written letters from his early years up until his death in 1955, and you’ll find not just a brilliant thinker but also a passionate and outspoken social advocate (not to mention an incredibly well-spoken writer).But although he had much to say about the politics and economics of his day, his most profound knowledge and wisdom came from his words on living a meaningful life. Which isn’t surprising, considering how closely he himself related it to his life’s work in physics.Life is crazy, messy, and often chaotic. But certain truths ring no matter the age or generation. And wading through the words of one of the most brilliant minds ever to walk the Earth can help you find some of those truths so that you might apply them for yourself.Here are three lessons from Einstein’s Ideas and Opinions on living a meaningful life.1. “It is the duty of every man of good will to strive steadfastly in his own little world to make [this] teaching of pure humanity a living force, so far as he can.”Einstein believed that, at the core of every world religion, sat incredible wisdom.However, he also believed that wisdom had been diluted so that the core teachings had been muddled and made difficult the obtaining of the real wisdom that lay within them.He marveled at the beauty and astounding architecture of the universe but believed that understanding God or whatever it was out there, if anything, was impossible with our limited human minds:“We are in the position of a little child,” says Einstein. “Entering a huge library whose walls are covered to the ceiling with books in many different tongues. The child knows that someone must have written those books. It does not know who or how. It does not understand the languages in which they are written. The child notes a definite plan in the arrangement of the books, a mysterious order, which it does not comprehend, but only dimly suspects.”It’s because of this that Einstein believed our chief focus should be on discerning the core teachings of the various religious traditions and making them a force in our own lives for the betterment of humanity as a whole.Chances are, you’ve come across some of that timeless wisdom yourself through your own tradition. Take what you’ve found and don’t be afraid to remove what you believe are adornments. But most importantly, act on that wisdom and live it not just for yourself but for others.2. “It seems to me that the most important function of art and of science is to arouse and keep alive this feeling in those who are receptive.”Einstein believed that art and science held a very special place in our existence and relationship with the world around us.It doesn’t just help us contribute to the world or help us overcome challenges both internal and external, it also helps us connect with ourselves and the world in a very deep, one could even say religious, way.“It is very difficult to elucidate this feeling to anyone who is entirely without it, especially as there is no anthropomorphic conception of God corresponding to it,” says Einstein on the experience both an artist and scientist can have by delving deeply into both the mind and the workings of the universe. “The individual feels the futility of human desires and aims and the sublimity and marvelous order which reveal themselves both in nature and in the world of thought.”His suggestion is to pursue a work of art (or one could say simply creativity) or scientific exploration deeply and with the entirety of your being, only then can you arrive at a level of experience which is beyond that of the typical daily hum-drum of life, to a place of both wonder and meaning.3. “A hundred times every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life are based on the labors of other men, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the same measure as I have received and am still receiving.”We often forget just how much our lives depend on the work of those countless others who have toiled before us. Those who worked tirelessly to invent and develop, those who helped build and repair, and those who work each and every day to help us maintain the lifestyle which we now live.Everything from the items in your local supermarket, brought from all around the world in a complex network of trade and transport, to the electric poles outside your home that power your light and washers and device chargers, the satellites in space you use to connect to the Internet, and the factories which make the medicine that save your life.But much more than that, the countless lives that have been given and the struggles that have been won throughout history that have all helped contribute in their own small way to your life now as well. It’s impossible to recount just how many and how much your neighbors and ancestors have helped you. All you can do is sit back in awe and then get to work, showing your appreciation by contributing in your own small way to helping give back to those around you and who will come after you.How strange is the lot of us mortals! Each of us is here for a brief sojourn; for what purpose he knows not, though he sometimes thinks he senses it. But without deeper reflection one knows from daily life that one exists for other people — first of all for those upon whose smiles and well-being our own happiness is wholly dependent, and then for the many, unknown to us, to whose destinies we are bound by the ties of sympathy.

How One Woman’s Life Was Transformed When She Learned How to Follow Her Heart
Purpose

How One Woman’s Life Was Transformed When She Learned How to Follow Her Heart

“As much as I would like to say that I married for love, I didn't,” begins entrepreneur and speaker AdaPia d’Errico.Shortly after graduating college, d’Errico was married and moved to beautiful Lake Como, Italy with her new husband.“I would ride around in my Vespa, wind in my hair, sun in my smiling face. I had what you would imagine to be this Renaissance painting,” she says. “I had it all. Picture-perfect life on the outside. But on the inside, it was a different story. On the inside, it was like that painting was cracking and peeling.”For nine years, d’Errico suppressed her feelings, her heart, and lived a life she hated and which made her hate herself in turn.“I was lost and broken. I was afraid,” says d’Errico.The painting crumblesOne fateful day, d’Errico and her husband drove to a nearby hospital see a pair of friends who had just had their third child.But something had risen up within d’Errico that day that made her feel uneasy, anxious, though she couldn’t yet put her finger on it. “Something was not sitting right. I was not feeling okay,” she says.Once at the hospital, on the way to the maternity ward the feeling grew ever stronger, now threatening to overwhelm her entirely. Moments later, she’s able to get away and find solace in an empty hallway. Finally, she breaks down.“I don't know what's going on. And this feeling is just getting stronger. Shame and blame, ‘How could you?’ ‘You're such a horrible person,’” she reflects. “Over and over again. I just wanted to jump out of the window and sink to the bottom of the lake.”Suddenly, a realization strikes AdaPia through the heart. Finally, everything is clear.“There was only one decision that I could make,” she says. “I had to leave. I had to leave this life. I had to leave the marriage. I had to leave everything and I didn't know how because I had trapped myself in that painting that I meticulously curated for nine years and there was so much at stake.”Listen to your heartAdaPia knew she wasn’t happy and, if she ever truly wanted to be, she had to leave her life and everything in it behind.“I didn't want to hurt my husband. He wasn't a bad person, he was a great person,” she says. “My family, our friends. Nine years of relationships. And then I would have toface people. I was gonna get blamed. I was gonna be hated. I was gonna get yelled at. My dad was definitely gonna kill me. I was so afraid.”Despite her fear, d’Errico took a leap of faith and did what was right for her for a change. She called her father to tell him what happened and what she had decided to do. “One of the most difficult ones was calling my dad and telling him,” she says.I said ‘I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry,’ and he pauses and doesn't say anything.He says, ‘AdaPia, come home. You're not happy, come home.’“I had no idea that he wanted me to be happy,” she says. “I had all these stories of what I thought he wanted for me, of what other people wanted. But the truth only came out when I had a conversation about it.”Those uncomfortable conversations are the ones we really need to have.“If he thought that my happiness was important, then maybe it was important. Maybe happiness is important. What I found when my life fell apart, when that painting of my life lit on fire, I found something I never expected to find,” says d’Errico. “I found a masterpiece.”D’Errico had rediscovered her own heart and found the masterpiece that lie beneath the ashes of her old life.Doing what is right is never easy, but AdaPia discovered that day that there’s no substitute for following your heart if you hope to be truly happy.“I found my soul and whether you call it that for yourselves know that that voice inside of you is the voice that knows what's right for you.”