Close Ad

6 Light-Hearted Ways to Handle a Friend Who May Be Unintentionally Taking Advantage of You
Friends around a table
Friends

6 Light-Hearted Ways to Handle a Friend Who May Be Unintentionally Taking Advantage of You

It’s nice to go out of our way to help our friends. But, where is the limit? Can you actually help too much?

If you have a pal who is always asking for a favor and it’s becoming annoying, overly time-consuming or straight up off-putting, listen up: we’ve asked experts how to say no to them -- with tact, and respect to your friendship.


Keep the message clear and concise

When posed with a request for a favor and you wish to decline, say so, but use decorum. There’s a difference between being direct and being nasty. “Validate the requester's need for help without being rude,” advises Susan Petang, a stress management coach with  The Quiet Zone Coaching. “Keep repeating until they get the message using the ‘broken record’ technique.”  

Hot Stories

RELATED: 5 Reasons Why It’s OK to Keep Turning Down Social Invites from Toxic Friends

Keep your emotions in check

As in any conflict resolution, it's important to stay calm.  “If you feel like you're getting too hot under the collar, postpone the discussion,” says Petang. It’s OK to tell your friend, "I'm getting angry because I feel you're not listening to me after I've said no.”  Another valid way to handle it is by simply saying, “let's talk about this later when I'm calmer."

Stand your ground

Instead of tiptoeing around the issue to avoid hurt feelings, appeal to the actual friendship between the two of you, says Debra Carpenter, relationship manager with Sandpoint Idaho Real Estate.  “Rely on that connection being strong enough to withstand your honesty about the situation, and respond immediately when asked for another favor,” she says.  To show you care, smile, which demonstrates understanding, but stand your ground -- your own confidence in saying no is what will resolve the issue.

Maintain your boundaries

Establishing and maintaining barriers with others can be difficult, especially when it’s a close friend or relative. “When someone is constantly asking for favors, they are overstepping boundaries that we may or may not have communicated,” says Jared Heathman, MD, a psychiatrist in Houston.  If you want to complete the request asked of you and it does not overstep your boundaries, then do so.

Try to help find a (realistic) solution

If it is something specific they are always asking favors for, call out the elephant in the room, says Dr.  Heathman. Let them know that you notice that they appear to be continuing to have trouble. Try to help solve the challenge. “Talk to them about the problem and see if you can problem-solve with them to end the long-term favor requests,” he says.

RELATED READING:

Why Jennifer Hudson Forgave Her Mother's Killer -- Life Stories By Goalcast

At the peak of her career, Jennifer Hudson faced a horrific family tragedy. Hudson's mother and brother were brutally attacked in their family home, and her seven-year-old nephew was kidnapped. What followed was a heart-wrenching manhunt to rescue her nephew and seek justice against the man who took her family. Hudson speaks from the heart in this video on what happened to her family and how she was able to move forward.

Celebrities
ideas and thinking

bright ideas

The 21st century has brought great new opportunities for entrepreneurs. The digital revolution has completely changed the way we live -- and the landscape for aspiring CEOs and innovators.

powerful-business-woman

Keep ReadingShow less
Entrepreneurs
Sad woman arms on face
woman crying on a beach

While life is beautiful in so many ways, it is also filled with struggles and obstacles. We can’t truly appreciate happiness without experiencing some sort of pain.

Pain is inevitable. No matter how much we try to prevent bad things from happening, life will strike. Maybe you will have to face grief, betrayal or a broken heart. These experiences can tear you down in unspeakable ways. Some of them will cause so much pain that you’ll do anything that comes to mind to avoid it or feel a bit of joy, even if just for a few seconds.

Keep ReadingShow less
Authors